Title: My Own Story
Don't watch, don't seize the lost butterfly
Go past the precious things, go past the important things
Break and destroy the key to my heart
I continue to search for my own story until the blindfold that conceals my fate is removed
I'll pierce through these clouds with my wings and go to the distant tomorrow...
- Nana Mizuki, "Meikyuu Batafurai"
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. 'Nuff said.
Chapter One: A Question Mark
And the shadows that you cast so tall on the wall of possibility
Grow closer to infinity with every word that goes unsaid
Cause you could build your house of gold if you could only find a place to start
But for now there's just a question mark hanging on your head...
- Craigs Brother, "Potential"
"Yamamoto-san, I'm quite surprised you and I have something in common," Kurosaki-san remarked insouciantly after his intense study of me was complete.
"Likewise, Kurosaki-san," I agreed in an even tone, our eyes locked together, both of us wondering just how much the other knew about yurei. Evidently, the casualness infused into the statements that Kurosaki-san and I exchanged did not belie the importance of the meaning behind the words: I had finally found someone who truly understood the dominant force controlling my perspective on life.
"You took a nasty spill there. Are you alright?" Kurosaki-san asked. He stepped forward to stretch his hand out to me, though I would hardly call the gesture particularly solicitous, given the duty-bound nature of our relationship as fellow classmates.
"Yes, I'm fine, Kurosaki-san," I replied as I lifted myself up with Kurosaki-san's assistance.
Hanako-chan frowned thoughtfully as soon as Kurosaki-san released his hand from mine. "Sumire-chan, don't you and onii-san go to school together? I know you've told me about him before, so I thought you were friends, and that's why I started talking to him in the first place. How come you're so polite with him now?"
In that moment, I should've known the careless, uninhibited eight-year-old Hanako-chan would speak language filled with such suggestive implications. I mightily resisted the urge to blush hotly. Kurosaki-san only looked away and pretended not to catch my embarrassed reaction.
"Well, Hanako-chan, of course I've mentioned each of my classmates to you. It doesn't mean I'm automatically on intimate terms with all of them. In fact, I've never had enough of a reason to be better acquainted with Kurosaki-san until now," I quickly intervened in a neutral tone. I took the liberty of offering a small smile in Kurosaki's-san's direction. "Thank you for taking care of my little itoko [itoko=cousin], Kurosaki-san. For Hanako-chan's sake, I suppose Kurosaki-kun and Yamamoto-kun would be more appropriate from this time forward, don't you think?"
My classmate simply shrugged in accordance with my suggestion. "Yamamoto-kun? Please. Can't we just go with Yamamoto? Anyway, I don't see what the big deal is. I only gave Hanako some flowers."
"It is a big deal!" Hanako-chan cried impetuously, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. "Practically no one can see me anymore, so I was really lonely at first after I died. Now I have not only Sumire-chan to notice me, but you, too, onii-san. You even protected me from those meanies who knocked over my flowers!"
Kurosaki-kun was clearly taken aback, and although I felt sorry for him bearing the brunt of Hanako-chan's passionate outburst, I was secretly glad the girl had exposed his want of delicacy. He couldn't have possibly expected a sensitive, lonesome child to understand his offhanded way of accepting thanks. Luckily, even if belatedly, Kurosaki-kun seemed to comprehend how he must next act. He promptly kneeled next to Hanako-chan and patted her head, smiling warmly.
"Sorry, Hanako. I didn't mean to upset you," he apologized to her amiably.
"No, it's okay," Hanako-chan reassured my classmate, though it was plain to discern the eternal sunniness of her nature taking command of her face again as a result of Kurosaki-kun's genuine show of remorse. She wiped her away her tears, flashing him a brilliant grin. In return, Kurosaki-kun's brown eyes, which had always contained a guarded, edgy quality to them, miraculously mellowed into a golden hazel color suggestive of finding true satisfaction in his good deed of the day. This transformation conveyed to me the vast depths of his largely instinctual personality. Who knew what else he could achieve if he were to hone his charismatic ways?
A lot, as I was to find out in due time.
& & &
After leaving a cheerful Hanako-chan behind, Kurosaki-kun suggested something startling: "You live just down the street from me, right, Yamamoto? We might as well walk home together."
Once more, I was close to the brink of reddening. No, I've never had a crush on Kurosaki-san before, nor did I suddenly acquire one now. Simply put, I was a complete wallflower alone with a boy I hardly knew. A boy who shared a secret with me that could facilitate the process of getting very personal very quickly. Then again, remembering my earlier resolve to gain a yurei comrade-in-arms, I was acutely aware of the fact I could not refuse Kurosaki-kun's proposal.
My classmate didn't waste time in beginning a game of Twenty Questions with me as we covered the short walk to our respective homes. "So, how long have you been able to see yurei?"
"Ever since I could remember. Was it the same way for you?"
He nodded in the affirmative. "One of my sisters can see them, too."
"Really?" I echoed in surprise. "I'm an only child. I never knew my parents or anyone else in my family to be able to see yurei. You're the first person I've ever met who shares my ability."
Now it was Kurosaki-kun's turn to be surprised. "Huh, I always thought seeing yurei ran in families."
Kurosaki-kun's remark caused me to marvel even more at the singularity of my talent. For the millionth time, I wondered what the purpose of my power was.
Because of the thoughtfulness underlying my current musings, I dared to inquire of Kurosaki-kun: "Do you...enjoy your ability to see yurei?"
"What are you talking about?" Kurosaki-kun answered with a confused frown.
Although his reaction flustered my already uncomfortable self, I did not step down. Rather, I sought to clarify the meaning behind my initial question. "I mean...do you always reach out to yurei like you did Hanako-chan today?"
"Didn't you hear Hanako earlier? She initiated the whole deal between us. I was just returning her a favor. That's my policy for every yurei. I try not to get involved too much or else I'd go...I guess the right word would be 'crazy'."
His words hit my mind like a sack of bricks as I nodded, at last seizing a chance to hazard a glance in Kurosaki-kun's uncharacteristically introspective face. "I...understand, Kurosaki-kun," I commiserated in a very low voice, not stopping to transform my statement into some dramatic production. Apparently, I could never undertake that degrading task.
He graciously reciprocated me by nodding his agreement back at me and even further honored me by also not halting our seemingly leisurely walk with his gesture. In the distance, I espied my brightly lighted house in the distance. I longed for the safety of my home the instance I was able to spot it.
"Thank you for seeing me safely home, Kurosaki-kun. I'll see you in school tomorrow, okay?" I shouted at Kurosaki-saki as I retreated, grateful that my objective of securing Kuroksaki-kun as a comrade had been accomplished.
