"Then some one said, 'We will return no more;'

And all at once they sang, 'Our island home

Is far beyong the wave; we will no longer roam.'"

"The Lotos-Eaters" - Alfred Lord Tennyson


She opened her eyes to the blurred figure of a boy—no—a man dressed in all black. Everything else was a shaking, blinding white, like she had stared into the sun for too long and looked away.

"Am—" Her voice was brittle, cracked and dry like a barren salt flat. "Am I—"

"Dead?" He finished. His voice was calm and cool, a dark room in the summer. "Fortunately, no. Or unfortunately for you, rather, since you seem disappointed about it." The chair he was sitting in creaked as he leaned forward. "Tell me what you're feeling."

It wasn't a question. She closed her eyes.

"I feel like I just swallowed a handful of ashes." She said hoarsely. "I feel—I feel pain, but it's not normal pain. It's…it's darker than normal. It's heavier."

"It shouldn't be. You didn't break or sprain anything." He said, looking at what must be her doctor's prognosis and she turned to him, her eyes shining sadly.

"It's in my soul."

"Tell me what happened, in the forest."

There it was again, the question that wasn't a question.

"If you ask nicely," She croaked, "I'll tell you."

Someone near the doorway stifled a laugh.

"Mai, don't you have anything better to do?" The man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Try and find some tea or something."

"Alright, jerk." The woman huffed, and left the room.

She watched her leave and turned back to the man in black.

"Who are you? Why are you asking about the forest? Am I in trouble?"

"I'm a member of SPR, a paranormal research institute. We were hired by a private client to investigate the forest where you were found half-dead and as far as trouble goes, with us I should say not, but I can't say the same for your parents."

"My…parents…oh no." She buried her face in her hands and felt a small tug. She glanced down to where a catheter was hooked, a clear liquid running through it.

"They're waiting outside the room for you. That's an intravenous hydration line." He said, motioning to the catheter. "It pumps electrolytes—salts—into your blood. From what I understand, you were carted in here suffering from delirium and dehydration. The attending doctor said you kept talking about shadows."

She winced and shuddered, as if her body was trying to rid itself of the memory.

"Tell me what happened." He said, then, upon catching her annoyed expression, he added an irritated "Please."

"I went into the forest during the daytime. I must have walked until evening, just when the sun was setting. I didn't want anyone to find me, see. I didn't want anyone to know…"

She bit her lip and stared at her hands, unable to bring her gaze up.

"Why?"

"Sorry?"

"Why did you do it? You're going to have to have an answer for your parents anyways."

"I'm 23, a legal adult. I don't need to give a reason."

"That's all fine, but I'm just not convinced that you had one in the first place."

The girl from earlier was right. This guy was a jerk.

"Even if I did, and I do, I don't need to tell you."

"What if I told you that I believed you?" The man asked with dark eyes. "That those shadows you saw were real?"

"You wouldn't be interested…people don't like to listen to crazies."

"Perhaps…but there's still meaning in the words of a madman."

"Who said that?"

"I did, just now. You don't know me, but my job is to make a living off crazy theories." He said, a ghost of a smirk passing over his face. "And, contrary to what you may think, I've heard far more preposterous stories."

"Are you a skeptic?"

"More like an opportunist."

"You're making money off this?" She asked incredulously, indicating her catheter.

"Not by you directly, no. And the money is half the point. Why you walked into that forest is one thing, but I want to know what happened in there and why you were so special that you got out."

"I just…I just remember voices. But I didn't hear them. I felt them."

His silent stare urged her to continue. There was something coldly clinical about him, like he was made of the cloying essence of the antiseptic that perfumed the hospital halls. There was something…off about him. Like he truly didn't understand why she had gone into Jukai in the first place. Like he would never understand.

"It's like when you read dialogue in a book and you don't have a face or voice to go with the words, so you make one up. I heard someone else's words in my head, in their voice, but it wasn't in my head…do you understand?"

"Vaguely."

"Hasutaberu." Someone spoke from the doorway. The woman from earlier was back, with a Styrofoam cup in each hand.

"Sorry?"

"Hasutaberu." The woman—Mai, was it?—repeated, walking in.

"I don't understand." She said.

"Mai," The man sighed, "If you're going to confuse anyone today, please go to another room."

"Here's your tea, jerk." Mai answered, handing him a cup. "And I don't see what's so confusing.

"What you just said—"

"Hasutaberu."

"Right. That isn't a word."

"Coming from someone whose first language isn't Japanese." She said slyly, sipping at her tea before hissing. "Ow, that's hot—"

"Tell me, oh wise Mai, what it means then."

"You know, you don't always have to talk to me in that tone."

"Mai."

That tone Mai just mentioned had grown sterner. He must be her boss or superior of some kind…but they acted so casual. They must be close friends…

"Well, 'hasu' means 'lotus' and 'taberu' means 'to eat', so it's basically another way of saying 'the Lotus-Eaters'."

"Of course…" The man muttered. Calmness had settled over his face, but she could tell his mind was racing.

"What are the Lotus-Eaters?" She asked, and both turned to her.

"They're mentioned in The Odyssey by the Greek poet Homer, one of the most popular works of literature in Western culture." The man answered. "Are you familiar with it?"

"Only a little."

"Well, I'll abridge it as much as I can. Essentially, it's the travels of the Greek hero Odysseus as he heads home after the Trojan War to his wife and son. Of course, everything goes wrong and it takes him ten years to get back to Ithaca, where he lives. On the way back, he and his crew are blown off course and they land on an island. Odysseus sends three men to scout it for supplies, and he learns that they have met the Lotus Eaters, a tribe that fed them lotuses, which cause them to forget where they were from, where they were going, everything, and Odysseus is forced to leave them behind."

"What does that have to do with the Jukai?" She asked. "The Trojan War was centuries ago, and it's not like Greece is next door or anything…"

"My father is a paranormal researcher as well, and one of his studies involved a local area near our house known as Blackfriar's Wood." He saw her confused expression and added "I grew up in England."

"It confused all of us too, don't worry." Mai told her with a kind smile. Her being here made her feel better, more relaxed.

"Anyways," He said through his teeth. "My father looked into the area and found that, like Jukai, it was a popular suicide spot. Why exactly either of these areas are what they are, I have no idea; maybe it's just the remoteness of it all, but in its entire history, only a handful of people ever made it out of the wood after they went in. When they came out, they were found rambling about shadows and voices they couldn't hear. Most were dismissed as insane, but my father managed to interview one of them, a man named Argall. He said that from the point Argall entered the forest to when he was interviewed he couldn't remember anything about himself or his family. Not a thing."

"I still don't see what any of this has to do with me. I know my name and that I have parents and two brothers."

"Do you?" He asked. "Tell me your name."

She stared at him in confusion.

"Tell me your name."

"I—this is crazy—"

"Tell me your name."

"I don't know!" She said suddenly. Her heart pounded in fear. Surely this was just a momentary lapse. She was tired, dehydrated…once she rested—

"I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest." The man said calmly. "Your parents aren't waiting for you outside."

"What?"

"Your parents died nearly ten years ago. You've been under the care of your grandparents since then. It's been five years since you walked into the Aokigahara Forest. Whatever you saw there wiped your memory. You don't have any siblings. You're 27 years old."

"No, no I'm not—"

"You won't remember my face or Mai's when you wake up tomorrow." He said, lifting his bag onto his shoulder.

"Why?" She whispered. "Why are you so sure?"

He stopped at the doorway and turned to her.

"You never do."