A/N: Yeah, I stole a line from Torchwood. So sue me (though really, please don't) ;)
"So," Wally asked, "do they really think they're being so sneaky?"
"I guess so." Diana sipped her iced mocha and watched the people in question, who were currently sitting across from them in the cafeteria and having a totally non-romantic lunch together. "For being the World's Greatest Detective, Bruce sure can't hide it when he likes someone."
"You should know," Shayera said, though kindly. "It's hubris, I bet. He thinks we're all too stupid to notice. As for Clark—well, Clark always has been a romantic fool."
The three of them sat and watched as Clark touched Bruce's hand, relaying some story or other, and then tried to cover it up with nonchalance. Bruce had on what might have been a smile, if he didn't have a policy against acting human on the Watchtower.
"How did you figure it out?" Wally asked, while shoving half of a hamburger in his mouth. It took Shayera and Diana a minute to understand him through the sheer amount of food squashed into his mouth.
"They started showing up for meeting exactly five minutes apart, like they were coordinating it," Shayera said. "And the fact that Clark was always almost-blushing afterward. And shooting Bruce meaningful glances. Really, the boys aren't that subtle."
"There's just something about them," Diana added. "They linger too long on each other. What about you, Wally? How did you figure it out?"
"It was pretty easy, actually." Wally shrugged and finished off his second glass of Coke before continuing. "I was bored on monitor duty one day, and going through some security tape footage, and I started noticing these little chunks of time where the footage had been messed with. The timestamps had been faked. And it always happened right after the two of them had walked into an otherwise empty room together. So obviously they were doing something in there, and Bats was going back and erasing the footage."
"Wait," Shayera said. "When you get bored, you're smart enough to catch Bruce's tricks?"
Waly looked at her. "Scary, ain't it?"
"Hey." Green Lantern appeared behind Shayera to plunk his tray down next to hers. He almost fell into the chair—he looked exhausted. "I've had a day. Did you know that there's a type of space cat that eats entire ecosystems? Because I do now. And the things are damn hard to catch; it took three of us just to pen it in. But what's up with you?"
Shayera scooted over to give him room. "We were discussing Clark and Bruce."
"How they're totally together?"
"Is there anyone who doesn't know?" Shayera asked.
"I heard Supergirl and Batgirl taking bets about they when they would finally own up to it. Booster Gold and Blue Beetle definitely know too—and if they know, then everyone does." GL glared at Wally, who had been about to steal one of his potato chips.
"Nightwing doesn't know." Wally slunk back into his own seat. "Though I think he's willfully ignoring the signs. It'd be pretty weird to have your surrogate father be in a relationship with Superman. Sort of like if your mom dated the Easter Bunny. I think Robin's in the dark too. Along with Alfred and the Kents—but who really wants their parents to know who they're dating?"
"People who aren't teenagers sneaking out their windows in the middle of the night?" Shayera said, pointedly.
"Bruce still sneaks out the bedroom window sometimes. Though mostly to avoid date rather than to go on them." Diana had more than a hint of bitterness there.
"Oh, come on," Shayera said. "You're over him, aren't you? Last I heard, you had some blond Air Force hottie on your arm."
"Steve's wonderful." Diana sighed happily now. "It is so, so nice not having to play guessing games to figure out what my boyfriend is thinking. And to have real dates , with dinner and everything, that don't get interrupted by Mr. Polka Dot taking over a ballpoint pen factory. But I'd be lying if I said that there isn't something deeply appealing about the dark and mysterious type."
"Apparently Bruce's type is brunettes," John observed, "of any variety."
"I think Bruce would screw anything that's beautiful enough," Shayera said, with more than a little poke at Diana.
"They're not going to keep this up forever," Wally said, and John noticed that the kid had somehow gotten a handful of his chips. "I'll bet you guys twenty bucks that they screw up and kiss at the New Year's party."
"I'll match you that twenty that they break up before the party." Shayera tossed her used napkin onto her tray. "There's no way Bruce is going to that party, and certainly no way he's going to get tipsy enough to let Clark kiss him."
"Bet you that Clark will prod him into coming home to Kansas within the month, and then they'll tell us because there just won't be a point to keeping it a secret." Diana cast an eye back over to Clark and Bruce—currently Bruce was leaning across the table towards Clark, and Clark was trying to get him to try the cafeteria's broccoli salad.
John chuckled at them. "You're honestly trying to predict Clark and Bruce. Okay—I bet they'll keep this up until some supervillain decides to make a grand plan around it, and then the front page of the Daily Planet will have a headline like 'Superhero Romance!' splashed across the front page."
"So," Wally said, "Winner gets the pot?"
****#****
Clark was watching Bruce sketch plans for a new model of Javelin with one hand while he ate with the other. The man was a master of concentration and, just to see if he could break it, Clark traced his toes up Bruce's ankle. Bruce looked up. "You know, B, we can't hide this forever. Sooner or later they're going to find out."
"You just want an excuse to act all relationship-y in public," Bruce replied, and firmly tucked his foot over his opposite knee.
"We could go to the New Year's party together."
"Absolutely not."
"You could come home to Kansas with me. Mom can tell there's someone new in my life, and she's like a bloodhound at this."
"Oh hell no. And I'm not exactly someone 'new' in your life. We've known each other for what, nine or ten years?" Bruce sighed at the silliness of the Kents and went back to his sketching. "And Kansas has all that flat corn, nothing on the horizon. Gives me vertigo."
Clark tried to remind himself of the virtue of patience. "You know what I mean, darling. Come on, Bruce, do you really think we can keep this up forever? They're going to figure it out, and I know you just hate it when you're not the one to give away some bit of information."
Bruce glared at the pet name. "I'd rather not have people poking around in our business. Too many social obligations, when other people know about your relationship."
"God forbid we have social obligations," Clark said, "Especially not with our friends. Honestly, heaven forbid."
Bruce looked over to the table where Diana, John, Wally and Shayera were sitting, all obliviously consuming their lunches. "I don't know why you're so concerned with this. There's no way they'd ever put it together."
