Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters find themselves in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's just the way it's gotta be. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.

Intimate Conversation

Magnus could feel himself going all mushy, not really surprising given his emotional state. His defenses were low, so that all he wanted to do was wallow in other man's words and presence. And since Alec was there anyway Magnus gave into the urge to move in closer, linking their fingers under his covers.

Squeezing Magnus's hand Alec smiled at the warlock shyly, a hint of nerves in his eyes over the closeness now that his own nerves had settled down. "My mom said that if you have another attack I'm to bring you home with me and she'll arrange for you to be examined by a healer."

"I really am fine, promise." Magnus assured him, surprised that his boyfriend's mother had made that kind of offer. Of course she was probably willing to put up with him as a guest if it meant Alec would be back home with her instead of at his place.

"Well if you have another attack I'm taking you to a healer whether you like it or not. You said this was the worst one ever after all. If these panic attacks are escalating than something has to be done about it. I work nights after all." And the thought of Magnus having another attack while he was out working had Alec's anxieties flaring up again. "How often do you get them anyway?"

"Very rarely." Picking up on the other man's mood Magnus was both touched and bemused by the man's mother hen behavior. Any minute the man would suggest having his temperature taken. "You need to stop worrying, Sweetie. I'm fine, really."

Alec opened his mouth to ask more questions but decided against it, seeing how worn out Magnus was under his smiles and assurances. Sleep was probably what he needed most right now. So he'd change the subject to something that wouldn't upset the man and hopefully lull him back to sleep. "So did you at least have a good party tonight? Isabelle was really sorry to miss it."

Magnus smiled back wryly, relieved that the Shadowhunter was letting him drop the subject. "It wasn't one of my best. I just couldn't seem to get into the partying mood. Guess I just missed you too much." He added with a wink, his tone as light and teasing as he could make it.

Alec's expression became somewhat self deprecating. "Sorry I couldn't come, but I'm no good at parties anyway. You should know that by now. So far all your friends who have met me think our relationship is the weirdest thing ever, right? I'm not the sort you go clubbing or drinking with. You'd probably have more fun doing that without me around to spoil the mood."

"I'd go clubbing or drinking with you any day." Magnus leaned in to brush his lips against Alec.

"As the designated driver, maybe." Alec shot back, amusement in his eyes as he sweetly returned the brief brush of lips. "But I'll come to your next party if you really want me to. If nothing else I can supervise everything and make sure that none of your fellow Downlanders tries to eat Chairman Meow again."

"He is still pretty bitter about that." Magnus acknowledged, well aware of the cat purring away from his other side. "You'd think me turning the offender into a ball of yarn would be enough for him."

Alec's lips twitched at the metal image as he spoke. "No one likes to be nearly eaten."

"Well I don't know about that." Magnus purred as he nipped the bottom of Alec's lip, deliberately moving his hands up to dig his fingers into the man's shoulder blades as he arched up against the Shadowhunter teasingly. "I think you'll find you like me nibbling on you quite a bit."

The Shadowhunter's cheeks flushed red, as expected. "You need your rest." Alec blurted out, feeling the color move from his cheeks up to his ears. "There will be time for that…later. When you're feeling better."

Magnus had to laugh, though his heart hurt just a little. Like another, lower area of his anatomy when Alec shied away from the intimate aspect of a romantic relationship. He turned the other man on, the Shadowhunter couldn't hide that, but he didn't want to want him, Magnus thought as he lowered his lashes to hide his thoughts. And that fact was killing him.

"What are you thinking?" Alec asked, picking up on the shift in Magnus's mood. The warlock was very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings, but Alec liked to think he was getting better at seeing beyond the one liners and glitter.

"How adorable you are when you blush." Magnus lied, though it was the truth to. His Shadowhunter was very, very adorable.

Rather than blush, Alec's eyes took on just a hint of annoyance. "For someone who's lived nine hundred years it's amazing that you haven't realized by now that guys don't want to be adorable after the age of five. And even then we only want to be because adults let us get away with stuff if we are."

"I am not nine hundred years old! I'm eight hundred and…I'm not nine hundred years old. It's mean of you to suggest otherwise." Magnus stated gruffly, his lips curving into a pout. He knew Alec was interesting in learning his exact age and he had no intention of telling him.

"Well then don't call me adorable. I hate that I blush around you so easily."

That didn't surprise Magnus but, "I love that you blush around me so easily. Its how I know you're aware of me and how much I want you."

Of course that had Alec blushing to a really embarrassing degree. "I would think you'd know that by now without my blushing advertising it for everyone in the vicinity. People teasing me about you only makes me more nervous and awkward. And I'm awkward enough as it is around people I don't know."

"More nervous?"

Alec opened his mouth and than shut it again. The look on his face was typically of his race, indicating his unwillingness to talk about anything remotely personal.

Annoyed, Magnus thought not for the first time that Shadowhunters had to have a few drops of Vulcan blood in them somewhere. Their habit of refusing to speak or acknowledge their softer sides were just one of the many reasons he'd opted not to get emotionally involved with any of them in the past. But he'd always been a big believer in the idea that 'rules were made to be broken' and he'd broken more than a few when it came to getting involved with Alec. Most of the time he didn't have a single regret about that.

"Now you're angry with me." Alec stated, reaching up a hand to cup Magnus's cheek, his fingers slowly spreading across the smooth, pale skin. "Why?"

"Because it bothers me when you pull away from me."

)

About to point out that they were still in the bed with mere centimeters between them Alec belated clued in to what sort of pulling away Magnus meant. And that he couldn't argue with, the Shadowhunter thought grimly. He knew what Magnus was asking from him but it was harder than the warlock could imagine for him to give his boyfriend what he wanted. Not only was it against his race's nature to be emotional, but it was against his own nature as well. He bottled things up and retreated into himself at every available opportunity. He didn't like being around people, talking to them, pretending to have anything remotely in common with them. For some strange reason that had yet to bother Magnus but that was probably only a matter of time. All the other people in his life thought he needed a personality and attitude adjustment so why would Magnus be any different. Isabelle often said she could write notebooks full of his personality defects.

And every time he opened his mouth he was afraid it would become more apparent to Magnus what a mistake he'd made, falling for him.

But then again, he was still trying to figure out why the warlock had fallen for him in the first place.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Alec finally admitted, as much to Magnus as to himself. He wouldn't know how to say what he felt even if he'd had the guts to say them aloud. Somehow he didn't think a stammered confession would count in his favor either. The first time you told someone you loved them was supposed to be special, and he had no idea how to say those sorts of words without making Magnus realize just what a bad bet he was in the first place.

"What do you like about me?"

Surprised, Alec stared into the man's faintly glowing cat eyes, sensing the strong emotions banked behind them. Flustered by the question Alec stumbled over his words, trying to at least give the man that much. To give Magnus some idea just how wonderful he thought the warlock was.

"You're you. You're unique. You are who you want to be and anyone who doesn't like it can go jump off Brooklyn Bridge in the middle of winter. You say what you want and you aren't afraid of what other people think the way I am. I like everything about you, Magnus. Even the stuff about you that drives me up the wall I like in some strange way. I just plain like you."

"So you…like me."

Alec winced, realizing how that sounded. "I more than just like you, you know that."

"Do I?" Magnus drawled out, raising a questioning eyebrow as he propped his head up on one elbow so that he could give Alec his full attention.

Flushing again Alec deeply regretting not turning the bedside light off before he'd laid down beside the other man. And he wanted to resort that Magnus knew perfectly well how he felt about him, but that was probably wishful thinking on his part. Ironic really, since pretty much everyone had clued into his feelings for Jace when that had been an issue. Well everyone but his parents, but they were good at not seeing things they didn't want to see where their children were concerned. Isabelle was living proof of that.

Now here he was, with pretty much everyone knowing how he felt about Magnus but Magnus. Or at least that was the vibe the warlock was giving off. He was no good at relationships, this was the first real one he'd ever been in. But Alec had enough common sense to know he was on shaky, shaky ground. And Magnus, for all his tough talk, was not nearly as fine as he was making himself out to be. So, dammit, he was going to have to man up.

"Magnus, you know me. You know what a coward I am, especially when it comes to my emotions. If I wasn't serious about you than you know I wouldn't be here right now. My parents certainly wouldn't know where I was and my entire race wouldn't be talking about me like I'd gone off the deep end back in the city. I choose to be with you. To stay with you. Because of my feelings for you."

"You're skirting the question."

Annoyance flashed into Alec's eyes. "And you're any better?"

"Hey, I've said the L word. That's more than you can say." Magnus shot back with an insulted look on his pale face, golden green eyes flashing with it.

Sitting up Alec looked down at Magnus, crossing his arms in front of him. Unfortunately, anger had always been his fallback when cornered, Alec thought in some corner of his brain, even as he let the anger carry and influence his words. "No, you didn't use the L word. At least not the way you're supposed to. You've insinuated the L word. There's a difference. A big one. But if you want to play it that way…we can play it YOUR way. You know that rune that Clary made, the one she used to show everyone that she really could make her own runes? Well that rune made me see you. I. Saw. You. Not a member of my family, not Jace, YOU. So there!"

"Me?" Magnus sat up, his whole body tense as he stared into Alec's eyes. "When she cast the rune to make her look like the person everyone in the room loved the most…you saw me?"

Reaching out Alec framed Magnus's face between his hands, his fingers gliding through the man's silky hair as the heat of his anger turned into a different kind of heat. "You." And blushing like the idiot he felt like Alec forced himself to say the words Magnus apparently needed to hear in order to believe him. "I love you, you idiot."

Throwing his arms around Alec's neck Magnus held on with all his strength, burying his face against the side of the Shadowhunter's neck. The warlock's body shuddered against Alec's as emotions and long held feelings competed for supremacy, overwhelming him. There were things that Magnus knew he should be saying, things he had to say in response, but he couldn't seem to make his throat work. All he could do was hang on and marvel at the arms that wrapped around him, holding him there, anchoring him in his emotional storm.

Another first for him, Magnus thought as he inhaled the scent of his man. To know, in every cell of his being, that he was safe in body and heart.

Not knowing what else to do, what to think of the tidal waves of emotions coming off the warlock, Alec moved one hand around Magnus's neck and the other slid under his own shirt to stroke the man's back in soothing circles. Holding and stroking, the Shadowhunter remained as he was until he felt Magnus relax against him in exhaustion. "You okay now?" Alec asked hesitantly, not sure if the warlock was happy with his declaration or not. Calling him an idiot probably hadn't helped his case. "I don't really think you're an idiot."

"You've made me feel like one plenty of times." Nuzzling his face against Alec's neck, Magnus felt as rung out and limp as an over cooked noodle. It had taken all his strength to pretend that he was okay and now that Alec had confessed…all his shields had shattered and he couldn't hide all he was thinking and feeling.

"An idiot because you…care about me?" Alec asked, not sure how to take that.

"No. Loving you makes me downright brilliant." And holding onto Alec with what strength he had left Magnus smiled drowsily as he returned the words he'd waited centuries to hear. "I love you too, Alec. Even when you're being an idiot, you're my idiot. My love." He added as his eyes drifted shut, slurring the last words as he fell asleep against the man in spite of himself.

"You and I just don't get many breaks in the romantic department, do we?" Alec murmured as he laid them both back into bed, molding his body to his love's so that there was no space between them. "Here's hoping we have better luck tomorrow."

)

Magnus slowly opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to get his bearings. He was in bed, but he felt the way he did after he had had one of his panic attacks. A low grade headache, aches in his limbs, and being just plain worn out. The numbers on his bedside clock said that it was eleven o'clock, and judging from the light coming through the windows that was a.m.. But he never slept after one of his panic attacks and he remembered it being-Alec. Eyes widening Magnus sat up and looked down, fingers splaying over his chest as he touched the black cotton. Alec's shirt. He was wearing Alec's shirt. Because Alec had come over. Alec had stayed over and had said…had said that he loved him.

Throwing off his covers Magnus got out of bed, ignoring the aches and headache as he moved across the room and went to the door, leaning on it for moment before opening it as he went in search of the man whose shirt he was wearing. Alec had to still be around, otherwise he would have taken the shirt with him.

The warlock finally found a clue as to Alec's whereabouts when he heard the radio playing from his rarely to never used kitchen. The station was an easy listening one that played music he would normally have never listened to. That indicated someone had gone in and changed the station, and that that someone didn't have any taste in popular music. Yup, it was probably Alec.

Moving to stand in the kitchen's doorway Magnus stared at the picture the Shadowhunter made, stirring something in a pot that smelled really, really good as it bubbled away. Alec was wearing a shirt that clung to the man's chest like a second skin, one of his own if Magnus wasn't mistaken.

Sensing the warlock's presence Alec looked over, a censoring look on his face. "Do you have any idea how disgusting this kitchen is? I know you can just snap your fingers and make food appear but really, I wouldn't even eat in here if I was starving. It took me an hour just to clean the areas I was going to use to make you lunch. I'm actually afraid to open the oven door and see what's inside."

"You're making me lunch."

Alec flushed at the loving look Magnus gave him. "Yeah I'm making you lunch."

Walking over to stand in front of the Shadowhunter Magnus brushed his lips against Alec's, pulling back to grin like an idiot. "You're actually cooking for me."

"It's just chicken noodle soup."

"I love chicken noodle soup. I love you." Magnus added, still a little fuzzy on whether or not he'd returned Alec's declaration the night before.

"I love you and chicken noodle soup too."

And at their feet Chairman Meow meowed that he loved chicken noodle soup and them too.

Unfortunately for him, they were too busy kissing to hear him.

The End