Ha ha ha- No, I was not done with the chapter when you wrote the review. I am now though. Happy? :)
Oh, and what you think the original idea was? It's so not what you think.
Anyway-
Abigail stared at her, open mouth, swallowed, glanced to the door like a child about to catch a beating, looked back at Charlotte, bit her lip, looked away and squirmed in her chair. This was a far cry from the confident, independent looking woman who'd greeted her not an hour before.
Charlotte was not the most patient person, even with her patients.
Finally, she broke down and demanded,"Good Lord, what is it?" "What is it that's got you so aggitated?"
Her patient stared back at her like she wanted to say something, but couldn't. Or like she was guilty.
Charlotte let out an angry huff of air. "I'm a doctor, and I can help you, but you have to tell me what's wrong with you first. That's my job- to help people. Whatever it is, or whatever you're too," she paused momentarily to think of something to say other than scared or nervous, "well-bred to say, I promise you I've heard worse."
She stood up to pace slightly, then glanced back quickly to be sure her patient hadn't bolted for the door. She sure as hell wouldn't put it past her. The woman who clearly was her age though she looked much younger at the moment, certainly was panicked enough to flee.
She let out another breath slowly, calmly- though that was faked. In truth she was doing what she'd seen Sam Bennett do when he was angry, he started to snap on people, then stopped himself, breathed and continued on calmly no matter how stupid people were being. Sam Bennett was a remarkably level headed and calm person. She'd never actually seen him show anger, though there were times when she knew he had to be pissed. No wait, she corrected herself, she had seen him angry. Recently. She shook her head, nevermind that.
But like Sam, if she projected calm, maybe her patient would mellow. She looked at her square on and earnest and tried again.
"IF there's something wrong with you, I'd really like to help."
Abigail pursed her lips as if she were holding back her words. She looked away, but when she looked back she met Charlotte's gaze once more and looked either very confused, very worried or both.
Oh boy, this better be good, she thought. If her problem is that her man doesn't last long enough or she can't orgasm-
"It's not that there's something physically wrong with me," she began.
Charlotte nearly smiled and snapped her fingers. I knew it! Crazy! Shoulda called Violet in from the start. She's a nut-job! That explains it.
But when she looked again at Abigail's contrite expression, she had her doubts. Certainly this Abigail W-whatever seemed sane enough when she'd first met her. She pondered her patient's sanity as she looked at her pausing in her speech. Maybe she's got a split personality.
"Well, maybe there is," Abigail corrected, "but I don't know. I don't think there is anything physically wrong with me- sexually," she spat the word out and Charlotte bit back a smile. That's mean she chided herself, most people don't deal with talking about sex on a daily basis. I shouldn't judge- so hard.
"Well, I guess the problem is that I don't know. I wouldn't know if there were."
Charlotte slowly stepped closer. There was something there now. She sat down across from Abigail again.
"I don't understand," she said softly. "Tell me what you mean."
She sighed, looking down at the floor, but Charlotte could see her face reddening and tears threatening. She crossed her legs away from Charlotte and wrung her hands.
"It's just-" She looked at her then looked away shaking her head resolutely. "No, it doesn't matter. Maybe I shouldn't have come. I mean, I'm fine." She shook her hair back over her shoulders and reached for her bag.
Quickly, Charlotte did something uncharacteristic, and possibly unprofessional. Before Abigail had barely moved her hand, Charlotte grabbed that hand in hers and pulled it towards her.
Shocked, and forced to redirect her attention from the door to the semi-imprisonment of her hand, Abigail looked at her.
"Abigail," she smiled at her again making note of her body language and sure that it conveyed only openness and care, "maybe there's nothing wrong with you. Maybe you're one of the people that doesn't need to be here, but this is my job, and I think, I think that you came all the way over here because you suspected that something might not be right with you. Won't you tell me what it is so I can help you make that judgement. Whatever it is, we can talk about it. Whatever it is," she repeated.
Charlotte's patient seemed to shrink into herself.
Maybe I should just call Violet.
She made a face and squirmed in discomfort. "It's just... it's...
Charlotte waiting not moving or speaking or doing anything that would cause this girl to break off telling her what the heck was wrong.
"It's just so...embarassing," she confesssed. "Humiliating," she added.
"Abbie," she broke the 'no nick-name barrier' knowing that this girl was an Abbie, she had friends, people she cared about and who cared about her and they would call her Abbie. "Whatever it is, and please don't make me play 20 Questions to guess it," she added frankly, "I won't judge you. There's no judgment here."
Well, except for the freaks. Bastards.
Abigail closed her eyes and actually squeezed Charlotte's hand.
"It's just that, I mean I never wanted to be a slut or anything, and I sure as hell didn't want to get pregnant and- well, I just thought it would happen when it happened." She opened her eyes and looked sideways as if watching her past go by. "It just never happened."
Charlotte made an understanging noise deep in her throat and was nodding her head before she realized it. Fiding "the one". Let's not go there. Think about something else. Like...your patient!
Abigail took a deep breath, and Charlotte knew she was ready to finally spit it out.
"I've never had sex!"
The words were jumbled and fast, and Abigail had closed her eyes again as if in fear of retribution.
Charlotte's eyes widened. That wasn't what she was expecting.
Her mouth was slightly open in shock, and as she managed to close it she was grateful the girl had her eyes closed.
Say something! If you don't she'll think you do think she's a freak, and that's not good.
"Whew, I was thinking you'd killed someone, had some sort of S&M accident or something!"
She winced. She hasn't had sex! She doesn't know what S&M is!
Abigail laughed, and it again was a strained laugh. Her shoulders which had been so tight slumped down, and Charlotte realized what a weight this had been and how exhausting just saying that truth was. So she said the next thing on her mind,
"Were you molested or something as a child?"
She looked to the ceiling. "Well yeah, but it was a long time ago."
Ha! See, I can do shrinking too, not just Violet.
"And I don't think that's what has all that much to do with it."
"Okay, well I'm not here to say whether it's right or wrong not to have sex, although," her memory finally kicked in, "there are people who never have sex. It's just a thing."
Abigail just looked at her.
"Why do you think you haven't had sex? Wait, do you want to have sex?"
She shrugged. "Well like I said, in school I didn't want to be a slut, and my biggest fear was getting pregnant cuz you know people can get pregnant even if they're on the pill and the guy uses a condom."
Charlotte nodded. It was true.
"I wasn't sure if I'd have the guts to get an abortion, so I decided that since so many guys leave their girlfriends once they get knocked up, that I'd have to have a full time job and be secure before having sex, that way if the guy leaves me I can still support myself, or at least have a better chance of supporting myself than if I didn't have a full time job."
"When did you decide that?"
"In middle school."
That was impressive, so she said so. "I"ve gotta hand it to you, that's impressive. Most teenagers have a very difficult time thinking ahead or seeing consequences. I'd say that was very logical thinking."
"Yeah," she sighed as if that depressed her.
"And you stuck to that all through middle school?"
"And high school, and college." She said the latter as if she were ashamed. But hell, it was a smarter choice than a lot of women made. She couldn't fault the woman for that.
"I figured I'd have a steady job by the time I got to college, but apparently the universe had other plans. I only got part time jobs, so I figured then wasn't the right time either."
"And I figured I'd meet a guy when I was about twenty, then probably be married by twenty two, and have kids by twenty four."
Charlotte couldn't help smiling herself. "Isn't it funny how you just think things will happen? And they should happen by a certain time table? Then when you get to that point-"
"It's not as easy as I thought it was going to be."
"Ain't that the truth."
"So then by 22 I figured, well it'll happen soon. I've waited this long, what's a little longer?"
"I ended up in school for longer than I planned, I was always working or studying- I barely had time to sleep let alone sleep with someone, and time passed and I kept thinking it would happen, but it didn't."
Charlotte glanced at her watch. She had another patient in a half hour.
"Abigail?"
She looked at her.
"Is it awful that I haven't had sex?" She asked. "Am I some sort of freak?"
Charlotte felt sorry for her. "Of course not," she spat out. "Now, have I helped a little bit? Because I'd really like to see you again. I'd really like to hear more, but I do have another patient to get ready for."
Reddening in embarrassment, Abigail shot up to standing, yanking her bag over her shoulder. "Oh, of course!" She apologized. "I'm so sorry to have taken up so much of your time. I just thought it wouldn't be a big deal and then-"
Charlotte shook her head and waved the concern away with a hand. "Don't worry about it." She released the girl's hand, which she hadn't realized she'd still been holding, then she stood and straightened her shoulders and shirt.
"Would it be too much of an imposition to ask you to come back? I know it's quite a distance."
Abigail seemed relieved. "No, no it's fine."
Charlotte nodded and smiled feeling on the up and up again. "Wonderful! Now, you can just go back to the reception desk and they'll get you all set, how's that sound?"
"Great." She returned the smile. "Thank you, Dr. King."
"No problem. Just whatever works with your schedule," she put her hands on her hips as Abigail opened the door, "I can work you in."
"Thank you."
When the door closed again Charlotte let out a breath.
"Wow," she muttered.
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