Suspension
Week Two
Toshiko looked up from her PC to see Jack walking aimlessly towards the stairway leading to the vaults. She wondered what he was planning to do down there. Owen had already fed the prisoners and was back in the medical bay whistling tunelessly as he cut up some alien. Curious, Toshiko used the internal CCTV to follow Jack. He wandered through the tunnels and went lower, beyond the reach of the cameras. There was only one place she could think of down there that he could be going.
Suddenly decisive, she got up and followed him, leaving the diagnostics untended for a while. Wending her way though the tunnels she thought back to the night they'd fought the cyberwoman. She shuddered at the memory, even though she had not experienced the worst of the assault. Recalling the relief she had felt when her colleagues had appeared on the lift also brought back the memory of Ianto punching Jack and the words he had said there and later in the Tourist Office. It would be hard for Jack to forgive those personal insults and yet it appeared he had, at least in part.
Entering the basement, Toshiko saw Jack standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets. She hesitated a moment then walked over to him. "Jack? Everything okay?"
He didn't reply immediately still reliving the events of just a week ago. "Yeah," he said finally, drawing out the single word. "I still find it hard to believe, Tosh. How did he keep a Cyberwoman down here and me … us, not know?" He looked at her as if hoping she'd have the answer. "I mean, I live here for God's sake!"
"I don't know," she admitted. "He's very private, never shows what he's feeling … or thinking."
"I should have picked up on it. Watched him more closely."
"Don't blame yourself, Jack. None of us made an effort to get to know him. We all accepted his presence and then ignored him." She smiled wryly. "Even Gwen who was more likely than the rest of us to talk to him."
Jack smiled. "Sad bunch, aren't we? A lot of loners locked in a underground base."
"Not surprising we thought Ianto was one of us then!" They both laughed, grateful to have something to laugh about. "He didn't mean what he said to you," she said, looking at him closely. "About being a monster and .."
"I know what he said," he interrupted. In truth, the words still rang in his brain at quiet moments.
"Sorry."
"It's okay, Tosh, I didn't mean to snap." He smiled over at her. "I just think he may be right." With sudden clarity, he saw himself in the vault upstairs, strapped to a chair while the Victorian Torchwood team had experimented with ways of killing him. They had thought he was a monster. He'd only been allowed to live because they wanted to use his inability to die and his wide knowledge of alien lifeforms.
"Nonsense. What are you going to do about Ianto?" She changed the subject, hoping to get him to snap out of his dark mood. "How much longer is he going to be on suspension?"
"I don't know. What do you think?"
She had been put on the spot and took a moment to think about her response. "I don't think he's a danger to us. I mean, he'd never do anything like that again. He needs to get over Lisa but I think he'd do that better at work than brooding at home, alone."
"How can you be so sure he'll never do it again?" probed Jack. He wished he had her confidence but he had been blind-sided by the boy once and was not prepared to trust again so easily.
"He did it for love, for love of Lisa. That was his one strong emotion, his one tie to life outside Torchwood. From what I know of him, which I admit isn't much, I think he needs us too much to jeopardise his place here again."
Jack nodded slowly. "You may be right. But I can't have him back yet, it's too soon."
"Does he know?"
"No. I'm due to see him sometime today or maybe tomorrow."
"Make it today, Jack. But give him some hope that he will be back here soon." She placed a hand on his arm to reinforce her point. "He needs us and I think we need him."
"Okay, I'll call him."
The two left the basement, now just a dry empty room, and walked back to the upper levels. Toshiko went back to her desk and Jack paused only for a word with Owen before going into his office. There he sat down and got out his mobile, hesitated, then speed dialled Ianto's number.
-ooOoo-
The flat was spotless. Ianto had cleaned it thoroughly once again even though he had been away and not there to make a mess. He stood in the middle of the kitchen with a mug of coffee wondering what to do next. It was the middle of the morning and the day stretched in front of him, empty and lonely. He was surprised when his mobile rang.
He found the phone on the side table where he'd left it, picked it up and saw the name displayed. His breath caught for a moment then he pressed the button and answered the call. "Ianto Jones."
"Ianto, it's Jack."
"Yes, sir." Ianto waited, unsure what was coming next.
"I'd like to meet up, have a chat. How are you fixed?" Jack was sure that the boy would have nothing planned but maybe he would surprise him.
"I'm free all day. Do you want me to come into the Hub, sir?" There was a faint trace of hope in his voice that Jack noticed.
"No. How about we have some lunch?"
Ianto was disappointed. He had wanted to see the Hub again, to see if the others were managing to keep it clean and tidy. But he accepted that Jack wanted somewhere neutral for this first meeting. "Of course. Where?"
"How about I pick you up and we find a pub somewhere?"
"Fine, sir. What time?"
Jack checked his watch; it was almost eleven o'clock. "How about twelve?"
"I'll be ready, sir."
"See you then." Jack ended the call and put the mobile in his pocket. He had an hour, more or less, to decide what to say to the boy.
"Jack, here's the report on that disturbance in Grangetown," said Gwen, appearing in the office. She held out a folder which Jack took automatically.
"Thanks." She smiled and made to leave but he stopped her. "Gwen, got a minute?"
"Sure."
"Shut the door." She raised an eyebrow but did as he asked then took a seat. "I'm going to see Ianto shortly. You haven't said much this past week, about what happened. I wondered if you still felt as you did."
She looked over his head, focussing on nothing, as she thought seriously about the question. "I think so," she began slowly. "He did what he did because he loved the woman. I know that was stupid and reckless and put us in danger but I don't think he understood that. He was blinded by his love. He must have loved her very much."
"And that excuses what he did?"
"No, of course not! It explains it, not excuses it. He has to understand why it was the wrong thing to do before he comes back."
"But he should come back?" Jack pressed.
"Yes," she said slowly, "eventually." She looked at her boss properly. "I won't find it easy to work with him again, I admit that, but he deserves a second chance."
"Okay, thanks."
"How do you feel about him?" She eyed him much as Toshiko had earlier, unsure if would be able to forgive the insults flung at him by Ianto.
"I guess I'm a bit like you. I feel sorry for him and guilty I didn't do more to get to know him, but …" his voice trailed off.
"But he put the base in danger."
"He put the world in danger," responded Jack. "I don't think you, any of you, realise how dangerous it could have been. If that Cyberwoman had got out of here she would have converted every human being on the planet. We'd all have ended up like her."
"She was only one woman …" began Gwen.
"No! That's where you're all wrong. She was a Cyberwoman and all her kind understand is making more like themselves. You saw how unstoppable she was. We didn't stop her in the end. Her love for Ianto stopped her because she left her enhanced body and became human again in Annie Bennett's body. For him! That was the only reason we were able to stop her."
Gwen was silent for a while, digesting the information. She was still not totally convinced that one woman – even a Cyberwoman – could have taken over the world but Jack was and he had met the creatures before, knew what they were capable of better than anyone else. She remembered seeing Jack in the Cyberwoman's grasp, electricity running through his body as she attempted to neutralise the threat he posed, and shuddered. That could have been any of them, could have been Rhys or her family.
"It's a tough one, Jack. Ianto can't come back yet. Another couple of weeks at least, I'd have said."
"I think you may be right. Thanks, Gwen, it's helped to talk about it."
She realised that was her cue to leave and stood up. "Any time." She left the office and went back to her desk, thoughtful.
-ooOoo-
At five to twelve, Ianto was standing at the living room window looking out at the street. He was nervous and fiddled with his tie as he waited. He had showered and shaved carefully then spend a long time deciding what to wear. He had been living in jeans and T-shirts but wanted to look professional, business-like, so had finally opted for a suit and tie. At the back of his mind was the memory of the many comments from Jack about his suits and he hoped that the sight of him wearing one would remind Jack of happier times.
He wondered how this meeting, this lunch, would go. He didn't have high hopes of getting back to work in the next few days, that would be asking too much, but he did hope for some clue about how long he would have to wait. An open-ended suspension was like having a sword hanging over his head and not knowing when it would drop.
The strength of his desire to get back to work, to Torchwood Three, surprised him. He had wormed his way in purely as a means of curing Lisa, never expecting to make a place for himself in the organisation. They had needed him, that was what had drawn him in. They had needed his organisation and method. Gradually he had taken on more duties, glad of the reason for being around the place at all hours and the excuse to be in the more remote parts of the Hub at any time of the day or night. But the work had been interesting in itself. Unlike Torchwood One where everything was state of the art and compartmentalised, Torchwood Three muddled along and everyone had to pitch in their expertise and knowledge. He had therefore learnt about all aspects of the work and despite himself had become interested and involved.
The sight of the SUV in the street below shook him from his thoughts. He straightened his tie once more, squared his shoulders and watched as Jack got out of the vehicle. When Jack looked up, Ianto waved and indicated that he would come down. He checked he had his wallet, mobile and keys and left the flat, running down the three flights to the ground floor. He slowed as he left the building and saw Jack leaning against the SUV waiting for him.
"Ianto," said Jack, straightening up.
"Sir." Ianto closed the gap and stood next to the other man.
"I thought we'd try the Prince of Wales," said Jack moving to the driver's side of the vehicle and opening the door.
"Fine." Ianto got into the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt.
Jack started the engine and they were off. The pub he had chosen was on the outskirts of Cardiff, served excellent food and was getting a reputation a good place for business lunches. The proprietor recognised his clients' need for privacy when discussing delicate commercial matters and ensured diners had space, something Jack wanted too. The two men travelled in silence, not having anything to say to one another yet, until they reached the pub and Jack pulled into the car park.
"Okay, time for lunch," announced Jack. He looked across at Ianto and managed a small smile. "Let's go."
The two men entered the pub, walking through to the restaurant at the side. Jack saw the table he wanted towards the back of the room, nice and isolated, and made for it. He draped his greatcoat on one chair while sitting on another. Ianto took the chair opposite, undoing his jacket buttons. Jack picked up one of the menus and looked it over, immediately settling for the steak pie.
"What do you fancy?" he asked Ianto who was looking at another menu. Jack was able to look him over and thought the boy had lost weight and looked paler than normal. But he was clean and well dressed - in one of the suits that always looked good on him - so was looking after himself.
"I'm not sure, I'm not very hungry."
"You have to eat, Ianto. I'm having the steak pie, it's very good."
"Okay, I'll have the same." Ianto folded the menu neatly and put it back in its holder. He had been eating but food didn't interest him; it all tasted the same. Therefore, his meals had been taken at irregular intervals and had been junk for the most part. There was hardly anything in his fridge that wasn't the remains of a takeaway.
"Good. Drink?" Jack was on his feet, ready to place the order and get some drinks.
"Lager, please."
Ianto watched as Jack went off to the bar and waited to be served. It felt wrong to be here with the man, only a week after saying he was looking forward to watching him die. And calling him a monster. Ianto shivered at the memory.
"Cold?" asked Jack, putting glasses on the table and sitting down. He wanted to get know the boy but was unsure how to start. All these little exchanges about food and drink were not going to break the ice and get him to open up.
"No, just … I don't know." Ianto took a sip of the lager. "Thanks."
"Your suspension stands, at least another week." Jack decided to be blunt and to the point. Ianto nodded, expecting nothing less but still disappointed. "What have you been doing?"
"Hanging round the flat. Gave it a good clean. Visited my mother."
"You need to get out, see people. You looking after yourself?" Jack sipped his water. "You look a bit thin." Ianto laughed dryly. "What?"
"You sound like my mother. As I told her, I am eating."
"Make sure you do."
They sat in silence for several minutes, drinking and not looking at one another. Jack gazed out of the window on the pleasant garden while Ianto looked down at the table. This was not going how Jack had hoped. He had expected Ianto to be either antagonistic or apologetic and instead he was withdrawn and silent which, when Jack thought about it more logically, was exactly how he had been before the incident.
"Did you remember to send UNIT the feedback on the new support protocol?" Ianto was looking at Jack, interest in his eyes for the first time. "They wanted it urgently."
"Yeah, Gwen helped with it. Took ages, she doesn't have your knack for filling in forms." Jack smiled. "Nor do I."
"As long as it's gone. They get really uptight if things are late."
"Don't I know it! Remember when we were late with the quarterly updates?" Both men grinned at the memory, a point of contact at last.
The food arrived and they tucked into the meal, both enjoying it. Ianto ate more slowly than Jack but he cleared his plate to Jack's satisfaction. They decided on dessert and had apple pie and ice cream. Talk was minimal as both men struggled to find something to talk about that would not lead to recrimination or confrontation. As a result, nothing helpful to healing the breach between them had been said by the time the meal was finished.
In the SUV, before leaving the car park, Jack turned and faced Ianto. "Look, I just want to say that we don't blame you for what happened. We understand why you did it and we know that we have ignored you, your needs. It won't be easy when you come back, but everyone does want you back."
Ianto nodded, unable to speak for the raw emotion that flooded through him, momentarily easing the pain. He had betrayed these people's friendship and trust and put their lives in danger and yet they were willing to forgive him, to work with him again. He could not believe that they were laying at least part of the blame on themselves. Maybe they didn't know him but how well did he know them? Not at all really. He had not been open with them about more than just Lisa. He wiped at his eyes and sniffed.
"You okay?" asked Jack, surprised at the emotion the boy was showing.
"Yes, yes I am. I … can't believe that you're all so willing to forgive me. I don't deserve it." He wiped his eyes again.
"Ianto, we want to help, all of us. But you are going to have to meet us halfway, no more hiding your feelings and staying on the sidelines all the time."
"I'll try, I really will try, sir." Through tear-filled eyes, Ianto looked at Jack and held his gaze, managing a slight smile.
"Good." Jack put a hand on the boy's shoulder reassuringly. "Now, I'll get you home."
