There was a young priest that was giving his first sermon. After mass, realizing he choked on the altar, went to the pastor. The pastor said to him: "When I used to get nervous, I would keep a small glass of vodka up there with me, and when I got nervous, I'd sip it." The young priest agreed and the very next time he went to preach, he had a glass of vodka on the pulpit. Soon, he was talking up a storm. When he got back to his room, there was a note on the door from the pastor that read:

1. There were 12 disciples, not 10.

2. There were 10 commandments, not 12.

3. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the "Big J.C."

4. We don not say: "Rub-a-dub-dub. Thanks for the grub… YAY GOD!"

5. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.