Those Missing Moments
One Month Later
The weather has been getting warmer recently, so Peeta and I have been planting some Primrose's out in the front yard. The peaceful yellow of the bushes actually calm me – though they bear the same name as my passed sister. I know Prim wants me to be happy, and I know she appreciates that I want to remember her. She's watching over me somehow, I can feel it.
Peeta's far quicker at planting the bushes than I am, so he begins to help me with mine. Pressing the soil down around the base of the flowers, I notice his laces are double knotted. I find it quite amusing, really – the real Peeta is beginning to break out,
"What?" Peeta smirks, seeing that I'm staring at his feet. I hastily look away, fiddling with a few chunks of soil,
"Oh, just..." I turn to look at his face, "Doesn't matter," I begin to stand up, dusting my hands down on my lap,
"Wait, stay," Peeta pats the ground next to him, "May as well enjoy this weather before it starts raining again," I decide he's right – normally it rains everyday about this time of year. As I kneel down on the blades of grass, I notice Peeta is holding a tiny flower – a dandelion, "I remember you looking at one of these at school, the day after I threw the bread," He twirls the flower in his fingers, examining the lemony shaded petals,
"I remember that too," I reply, picking away at the blades of grass like I see the school children do when they're sitting in The Meadow. The scent of fresh grass reminds me of the woods, which comforts me greatly. Thinking of the woods, it reminds me of the many times I spent with Gale, how I'd never be able to do that again. Strangely, I don't feel hurt that those times will never happen again – I feel relief. Relief that I don't have to worry about Gale anymore. I only have to worry for Peeta, the last person left that I care about. Peeta is the same towards me; we'll always be a team, just like in the Games.
I decide that maybe I should take Peeta down to the woods, to show him what I did before that fateful day at the reaping,
"Peeta," I start, putting down the grass I had picked, "I want to show you something," Flicking my braid over my shoulder, I help him up. Unfortunately, his prosthetic leg still bothers him after all this time. Peeta stands, rubbing his hands together to try grind off the dirt,
"What is it?" He asks, following me as I begin to walk out of the front yard. I don't reply, determined to keep it a surprise. Strangely, I still remember the exact way to the forest even though there's no fence anymore, never humming with the sound of electricity. Nobody dares build on the land, it supposed to be respectful towards the people who died back when 12 was bombed.
When we enter the wooded area, much to my amusement, Peeta's loud steps chase away every creature within a ten meter radius. I don't blame him for being loud, I know it's difficult with his leg.
Though I said I'd never take anyone to my father's lake, I decide that Peeta can be the one exception. He's the last person left that I trust, and I know Dad won't mind.
As if it hadn't been touched, the teal water gently laps the rocks that are covered in greenery. Katniss roots are peaking through the cracks, their tiny flowers almost glowing in the afternoon sunlight. I smile, skipping down to the place where I used to have picnics with my father,
"Wow, Katniss," Peeta smiles, looking around. A wide smile is pasted across his face, his eyes taking in every single aspect of the area, "I should have brought my sketch book," I smile when he says that, knowing that he thinks this place is beautiful enough to draw,
"My dad used to bring me here," I say, beginning to unlace my boots. Peeta watches as I pull them off, along with my socks. I dunk my feet in the cool, calm water. The sensation reminds me of every trip I had here with my father, being taught how to swim. I feel happy they happened, not sad that they're gone. Just like with Gale, "Want to come in?" I ask, splashing my feet around in the few inches of water I'm stood in. Peeta nods silently, beginning to take off his own shoes.
His prosthetic leg shines in the sunlight, which I find slightly strange at first. It looks like what you'd expect a really high tech robot to have as a leg – fortunately, nothing like that has been invented yet. Peeta's other leg plunges into the water, smiling as the water ripples around it. Plodding towards me, he smiles broadly,
"I wish my dad was like yours," he says, pulling his pants up a little more to stop them from getting damp at the bottom. I remember his dad giving me the cookies when I was sat in the Justice Building. I'd thought he was a rather nice man, though my mother had been taken from him, he didn't blame me for it,
"Don't say that," I whisper, looking up at his face. He's giving me a mischievous look, and before I have time to wonder why, icy water is splashed in my face. I take a step back, gasping, "Peeta!" I yell, trying to look angry. I can't hold in a laugh, unfortunately, so chuck a handful of water back at him.
Chucking water back and forth, we end up soaking one another completely. Whilst grinning like a little kid, I remember Gale used to say I only smile in the woods. It's not true anymore, I only really smile when I'm around Peeta. I push Peeta over into the water, his hand latched around mine, pulling me down with him. I giggle uncontrollably before I look up at his face, smiling right at me.
That's when I feel it – the hunger. The need to be with him, but there's a problem. I don't know how to tell him, and I find that I'm too nervous to do much else except stare into his large blue eyes. It's been too soon since I asked him if he loved me, anyway. That was only a month ago, I'm sure he needs even more months to heal completely,
"Did your dad used to sing here, with you?" Peeta asks, sitting up slightly. I move away, holding my damp braid in my hand,
"Yeah, I learnt all my songs here," I reply, pulling myself up again. I stick my hand out for Peeta, to help him up. He grabs it, and when he stands up, he doesn't let go,
"Can you sing for me?" Peeta asks, looking up at a tree. I follow his gaze, and see he's staring at a mockingjay. At first, I don't want to look at it – mockingjays link to so many bad memories. Then I think – I am still the Mockingjay. I'm still alive when I shouldn't be, just like the mockingjay. I take in a deep breath, shivering from my damp clothes,
"Which song?" I ask, focusing on the bird. Though it seems to know we're staring at it, it doesn't fly away from fright,
"That one you sang to Pollux on the propo back in Thirteen. I liked that one, but I never got to hear all of it," Peeta whispers, while I glance at him. He glances back, and when I look into his eyes, I see the real Peeta.
Knowing that Peeta has come out of his shell, it gives me the energy to sing for him. I walk away from his hand, my back to him, and walk towards the bird. I let out the four note whistle Rue always made – to honour her memory – and sing:
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three,
Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be,
If we met up at midnight in The Hanging Tree
The bird copies the tune, just as they did when I was with Pollux.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee,
Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be,
If we met up at midnight in The Hanging Tree
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where I told you to run so we'd both be free,
Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be,
If we met up at midnight in The Hanging Tree
I sense Peeta standing behind me, most likely because I can hear his loud footsteps. Turning to face him, I see he has a fine line of crimson on each of his cheeks.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Wear a necklace of rope side by side with me,
Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be,
If we met up at midnight in The Hanging Tree
I stand awkwardly after I finish the song, not sure what I do next. Peeta doesn't seem to know either, as he just stands in front of me with his mouth slightly open, which is extremely unlike him. I give him a tiny smile. I've sung in front of Peeta before, so why do I suddenly feel incredibly shy?
"Katniss," Peeta breathes. If I wasn't so trained in listening for game, I probably wouldn't have known he'd said anything. I have absolutely no idea what to do, frustrating myself. Not wanting Peeta to see how torn I am, I rush back towards the fence, "Katniss, wait!" Peeta yells this time. I hear him following me, but because of his leg he can't catch up. Twigs break beneath my feet, weeds nearly trip me up. It's not until I catch my foot on a rock that I fall over: I land face first into a bush, letting out a small yelp.
Peeta's footsteps come up behind me, and when I feel his arms lifting me up I know he's here,
"What's wrong, Katniss?" Peeta asks, his eyes bore into mine. I could run – the fence is only about fifty meters away, only, I don't want to,
"I-I don't –" I stutter, not having a clue what to say. I'm not good with words, not like Peeta. I grasp his shoulders, staring at my feet, "Peeta, I'm so sorry," I mumble, refusing to look into his eyes,
"What for?" He asks, lifting my chin up with his finger. Now I'm forced to see his eyes, the worry that lies in them. I shake myself away,
"Just... I don't know! I don't know at all how I feel about all this," I fold my arms, wanting to run off. Peeta's hands hold my shoulders,
"It's okay, let's go home. Forget this happened," I feel Peeta's lips against my forehead before he leads me back to the house, holding my hand the whole way there. When we arrive back, we continue planting the Primrose bushes in silence. Neither of us know what to say to one another, I'm assuming.
When night comes, I honestly don't want to have to deal with the nightmares. The night before, I had dreamed that we were back in the arena – Peeta sitting at death's door. The faces of Rue, Thresh, Clove and Cato had haunted my vision, terrifying me into a sweaty awakening,
"Peeta, will you stay? Please?" I ask, perching on the end of my bed. He sits next to me, and takes my hand,
"Always,"
