Where the Lost Ones Go


By,

Aestivate


Chapter Two: The Hour of Reckoning


Silence, disbelief, shock. Ruki couldn't do anything but stare. What was Ryou doing upon her doorstep in the middle of the night on New Year's Eve?

And at once, snow began to fall. Large, white flakes descended from the overcast night sky in a gentle rhythm. A lone flake caught Ruki on her nose, which caused her to shiver from cold. She exhaled deeply, her own breath obscuring her vision. She had to break the silence in order to get answers. What are you doing here? Why are you here? What is the meaning of this? But all she managed was "Why?"

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" asked Ryou, lifting an arm in a lazy greeting. "That's awfully impolite of you to just leave me standing here in the cold."

Indignation. "Excuse me?" blurted Ruki. "You come here in the twilight hours without so much as a warning and expect me not to be surprised? The only rude one here is you."

Ryou shook his head; in turn shaking away some of the snowflakes that threatened to de-spike his hair. He frowned. "That's no way to greet an old friend. And besides, you're shivering. It's no use arguing with me because otherwise you'll be stuck out here in the snow too. And, maybe catch a cold," added Ryou with emphasis.

Ruki scowled. "Or, I could just go back inside and leave you out here," she retorted.

He winced, but smiled all the same, revealing his characteristic white, wide grin. "You could do that; it hadn't occurred to me. But the gentle, queen Ruki wouldn't do something like that, would she?" He looked at her pleadingly but mischievously, winking as he did so.

"Be quiet," she snapped, clearly already irritated. Her fingers were numb and the shivering was growing almost uncontrollable. If she could get inside faster, the better. The uncharacteristic temperatures of this year's winter didn't take too kindly to her thin nightgown. If it meant allowing Ryou to get his way, so be it. She pressed a button to her left in order to open the fence, and stepped aside, having given up. She gave a welcoming gesture, albeit begrudgingly and spitefully. Ryou grinned with victory and proceeded to walk past her inside. "Please, do take care and shut up," said Ruki warily. "If my mom or grandma wakes up or God forbid both…! they're going to have a lot of questions…" Ryou immediately relieved himself of his shoes, but clearly amused at Ruki's annoyance and request. She shut the door behind her with a sigh. "You still haven't answered my question."

"What was it again?" said Ryou. He put his forefinger on his chin and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't recall it having much more substance other than 'why.'" He then proceeded to make a big fuss that he should put his own shoes away, trying to cause pandemonium by tripping on his own feet, and noisily, at that."Whoops!"

Ruki looked on with horror, clamping her hands over her ears and still unable to drown out the sound of crashing and mischief. "Well," she muttered. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Enjoying what?" said Ryou, clearly feigning innocence.

"Coming to my house in the middle of the night, being more loud and obnoxious than usual… And that's a whole freaking lot already!" tittered Ruki. She began to march towards him menacingly, wagging a finger at him as she did so. Her hospitality was already tried. "You know, you never change."

"Sorry, sorry," said Ryou, putting up his hands with mock defeat.

"And my question was," began Ruki, not dropping her cadence, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Don't you think you should prepare some tea first?" said Ryou.

"THAT DOES IT!" yelled Ruki. "GET OUT!" She immediately regretted yelling as soon as she did. "Oh crap," she whispered breathlessly. "Obaa-chan and Mama are going to wake up…"

"You still call your mom 'Mama?' How cute!" exclaimed Ryou. "Why are you so scared of your mom and grandma waking up anyway?"

"You're really annoying, do you know what?" said Ruki, using her full strength to push him towards the door. "And if you must know, it's because my mom has this huge photo shoot tomorrow. She can't afford to have bags or whatever under her eyes."

"Your mom has to work on New Year's Day?" asked Ryou, stopping suddenly. Ruki collided with him, her face crashing with his back. "That must be rough."

"Ouch… You should warn someone if you're going to do that!"

Ryou shrugged. "Hey, I was just trying to move out of my own volition."

"You are so lucky that I wasn't already sleeping. I hate being waken up, especially by tall, annoying guys with really shiny teeth."

"Well, you surely didn't need the beauty sleep."

Ruki recoiled, having lost again, but to such an offhanded comment. A blush crept up her neck. "Okay, so seriously. It's pretty obvious whatever I'm doing isn't going to work. Why are you here and why is it so hard for me to get you to leave?"

He said nothing, pulling out his D-Arc and freezing. He pocketed it again. "Well…" Ryou kept his back towards her and clenched his fist. His entire body seemed to be trembling, as if he were struggling with his next move or with what next to say.

Ruki bit her lip, having seen his expression change from sunny and shiny and annoying, to grim and heavy and depressed. She was alarmed at this sudden change; in an instant the Ryou before her morphed into a completely different person. "Hey…" said Ruki, beside herself. "What is it? Did anything happen?"

He turned around and suddenly appeared very tired to Ruki. She noticed the bags underneath the usually glimmering cobalt eyes, and how his shoulders sagged. The mischievous, teasing Ryou from seconds earlier was replaced by this ponderous one. "Is it too much to ask for that tea?" His voice sounded higher than usual. "Ruki-san," he added, but without relish and with genuineness that startled her. A second ago, the playful Ryou was making unreasonable demands, and now he was being strangely polite.

"Don't say that, it makes me nervous," said Ruki shakily, quite unsure of how she was supposed to respond.

He looked at her pleadingly. "Please," he requested, voice barely above an audible whisper.

"I want answers though," said Ruki, keeping her guard up. What had happened? What had she said that suddenly depressed him? Was it even something she said? After all, he was turning up at her doorstep with a half hour until midnight with no reason spoken of quite yet.

"I promise," assured Ryou, crossing his heart. "Just… please."

She couldn't deny his request. He was begging her; she could see it in his eyes.


The snow didn't seem to bother Renamon. She usually hated the stuff; it got stuck in her fur and drenched through to her skin. The snow had increased in intensity as Ruki and Ryou had gone inside. Renamon stood on the roof of the house, facing the garden that intersected the house. She was absolutely still, with her arms folded and her breath melting the surrounding snow.

She was facing Cyberdramon, who stood on the opposite side of the house, just as still, just as quiet.

"It is rather suspicious that you and your Tamer would appear before Ruki at such a random date and hour," said Renamon, finally speaking. "And I also hear that you and Ryou had disappeared into the Digital World again for a period of time. What for, I could only wonder."

"Do not accuse, Renamon," said Cyberdramon coldly.

"I wasn't going to; Ryou's whims mean nothing to me. I am curious as to why you are here, of course. Your reputation, however, behooves you…" Renamon's voice trailed off as she let her arms fall to her sides.

"That is not of any concern to you," remarked Cyberdramon. "I'm sure as an old friend you can comprehend that."

Renamon's eyes widened. "I… Well… What does that imply?"

"A new enemy," said Cyberdramon. "Or an old one; I don't know which is best to characterize this enemy as."


It took a minute for them to be settled in the kitchen. It took three minutes for the water to boil, another for Ryou to decide what kind of tea he wanted (he picked the Chinese tea), and another for Ruki to poke around gingerly for mugs. 11:35 p.m., around; he couldn't bear to look.

He was running out of time.

Lost in thought, he probably wasted another few seconds as Ruki plopped a steaming mug before him. "Th-thanks…" said Ryou. He wrapped his fingers around the mug, peering into the dark liquid.

"Well, it's not poisoned. What's with you?" asked Ruki, dropping into the chair opposite him. She parted her hair, which was slightly damp and cold from its brief encounter in the snow.

Ryou suddenly dropped the strained expression in favor of his usual cheerfulness. "It smells great. How unexpectedly girly of you!"

A scowl; Ruki's usual reaction. "Well, excuse me. Would you like some cakes to go on top of it?"

He looked up at the ceiling, as if contemplating the possibility. "That does sound nice, thanks."

Ruki didn't move; instead, took a long drag from her tea cup and put the mug down. "Well, too bad because you're not getting anymore hospitality until you start answering my questions."

He flinched. "Yeah, I was getting to that." He, too, took a long sip. The warm liquid burned in his throat all the way down to his stomach and through to the rest of his body. He was restless; how could he possibly explain? It was enough for him to see her; maybe just to say goodbye. He hadn't expected any explanations to accompany that.

"Well?" Ruki raised an eyebrow; clearly already annoyed. "Is it really that difficult for you to answer why you appeared before me after god knows how long on New Year's Eve, almost midnight?"

Midnight. There was the trigger. How much time? How much time until he would regret not giving answers? The fake heat from the tea and the tension in the room caused him to sweat and suddenly Ryou didn't know what to do or say. For once all he wanted to do was run away. "Ruki…" he began, voice pained.

Her expression was soft, despite her earlier remarks betraying irritation. The dimly lit kitchen cast shadows on her face; but she held so much light. "Seriously, what is it?"

Ryou struggled with himself, gripping the handle of the mug with a ferocity that it was a wonder it didn't break. He squeezed his eyes shut, opened his mouth to speak. But everything he wanted to say was lost.

My past has come back to haunt me. This will be the last time I will see you, ever. I will cross dimensions, back to a world I don't even belong in. I'm sorry I'm so bad at saying goodbye. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to say it; that I'm not strong enough to not allow myself to be taken to the other side. I'm sorry I can't close my ears the calls of the world that I came from. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It would have been better if I didn't come at all; I'm not even sure why I did so I'm sorry I can't answer the question of 'why' I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" Ryou found himself repeating the apology. Over and over and over and over.

"For… what? Exactly. Besides almost waking up my mom and grandma, and being yourself…" Ruki stood up slowly, tentatively closing the gap between them. He was so much taller than she, but she took a white hand and put it on his shoulder anyway. He visibly relaxed but both of them were holding their breaths. "Ryou… Is it something you can't tell me? What happened?" She was being uncharacteristically gentle, but the poor boy looked like he needed it. He was seriously losing his marbles.

He exhaled slowly. Calm again. "I passed the baton today."

Alarmed, Ruki's eyes widened. That was extremely unexpected. If he was going to say anything, Ruki hadn't predicted something that vague. "Wha…?"

"As in… I lost." Still wasn't giving her much to work with.

She tried as hard as she could to put the pieces together in her head. Oh. Right. There was supposed to be some sort of card tournament today that I was invited to but decided not to go to… That would be the most logical meaning of "I passed the baton" and I lost." Which would mean he usurped his title as King. But of course, that meant… "You're all worked up because you lost a stupid card game?!" Ruki demanded. Okay, now she was pissed. Ryou could say some stupid, stupid things, but if this were the truth… Then, it would take the cake.

"I hadn't even said that; don't jump to conclusions," reminded Ryou. But his manner of speaking was hollow. He faced her, with a grey hue to his tired blue eyes. He saw the digital kitchen clock from the corner of his eye; he had 10 minutes and that was all, provided the clock was correct. The hour of his passing was near, and there he sat defeated. No matter how hard he could try, nothing could hold him back. He peered at the half-finished mug of tea. Nothing should hold him back. "I wanted to say goodbye," he murmured, far below audible clarity.

"Sorry? You're muttering."

"I WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE!" he half-yelled.

This startled Ruki, her hand falling to her side. "Goodbye...?" Ryou wasn't making any sense. This highly emotional Ryou she didn't know. She was so confused. What the hell was going on?

Tears sprung to his eyes. He wasn't good at this, not good at this at all. All he knew were certain things; the only part of him that was easily distinguishable was his ability to fight. The sentimental things he struggled with; anything that had to deal with a past he did not care to remember he was defeated. Those things were confusing. Painful to think about. They put knots in his stomach so it was hard to breathe.

"In ten minutes, I will stop existing in this world," he said breathlessly.

Ruki wasn't sure how to make heads or tails of the comment. He was too tense, too apprehensive, too fervent to be joking with her or even to be saying offhanded things. How could he expect her to understand, if he was being so cryptic and so enigmatic about it? One vague notion after another. "I still don't get it," said Ruki exasperatedly.

"I know, and I'm sorry." Again with the apology. He lifted his head to face her, to look her properly in the eyes, amethyst orbs that retained light no matter how dark. In the poor lighting she was still elegant and lovely, a child nearing womanhood, curving delicately in all the right places.

In the past few minutes Ruki had felt all different kinds of alarm. Ryou's anxiety (about what, exactly?) was rubbing off on her. Nothing else could surprise her, although much more could confuse her. His eyes were so pained, and the silence so thick. Tears spilled from the corners, and again, Ruki was utterly bamboozled to how she should react. She was letting him be selfish. He wasn't giving her anything but pieces, not even enough to form puzzle pieces, surely not enough to form a complete picture or thought. She'd never seen Ryou struggle like this before, nor had she ever seen him show this much weakness. It startled her, surely, but everything about him tonight was startling. New Year's Eve. What was the significance of today? What was the significance of midnight?

And he'd used the term 'pass the baton' meaning he opted for himself to lose the card tournament. I will stop existing in this world. The sentence made her shiver. It was so cryptic.

The minutes continued to roll by. Sluggish. The silence continued. Ruki decided that if Ryou wasn't going to explain himself, then she would allow it. Once he was feeling better, maybe then could he elucidate the situation…

Without warning he took her hands in his, causing her to step backwards and blush. She gasped at the sudden gesture, but then he opened his mouth to speak: "I'm glad I met you," he said. There was high fervency in his voice. "And Jian and Takato and everyone else."

Taken aback by his comment, Ruki forgot that she was going to allow Ryou to take his time, and blurted out, "Are you going somewhere? Is that why you're freaking out? What the hell is going on?"

His body slackened, but he did not avert his gaze, and instead looked at her with a new intensity. So she did understand, at least partially. The gist. He was going away. He was struggling. He did not know how to explain himself, whether or not it would be worth it in the end. He hoped, silently prayed that the little he'd given her would be enough. It had to be enough.

Without warning, Ryou turned and ran, trying to wrench himself free from the atmosphere in the Makino kitchen. In a single swift motion somehow his shoes were on and the door was opened and he sprinted outside, to the cold, the snow, and fresh air. As he reached the fence he dropped to his knees, panting, gulping as much air of this world as he possible before the process of traversing dimensions could pull him in and erase his existence from here, once and for all.

A dark shadow leapt from the rooftops, to join his master, his Tamer. A yellow vixen teleported after the shadow; like a cat and mouse charade.

"Ryou! Ryou!" Ruki called after him. The gusting, bitterly cold wind stung her cheeks as she ran, and she could feel the weather seep through her slippers and nightgown, as they had before, but that didn't stop her from catching up to him. "Just what the fuck was that?!" she demanded, yelling over the wind. She wasn't one to normally color her speech with expletives despite her usual fiery and unreasonable temper, but this was certainly a justifiable instance. "What the hell is up with you?!"

She approached him closer, and closer still, as Cyberdramon gathered Ryou gingerly in his arms. Her pace faltered as she saw Cyberdramon swoop down, but she quickly gained her stride again as she saw Renamon materialize next to her. "Renamon!"

"Ruki! They're…" Renamon stopped mid-sentence, mid-stride. Ruki, as well, stood frozen.

Silence. Disbelief. Shock. Then… "RYOU! RYOU! RYOU! Renamon, anyone, do something!" And Ruki, who abandoned all former whims of quiet, began to scream.

Ryou, from his perch, could only stare. As Ruki's eyes widened, her expression changing from irritation and worry to fear and foreboding, his own vision was leaving him quickly, replaced by purple-black, a living purple-black, one that seemed to radiate darkness, blacker even than the snow-covered sky. The process had begun. Midnight.

And without even comprehending the slightest bit of the situation she could only think irrationally. She grabbed him, held on, and pulled.

He was being swallowed into that darkness, and he tried to open his mouth to speak, to get her to not come closer, to not worry, to remember him, anything, but he could not. Cyberdramon was silent as well. And something was drowning her screams out, but from his failing vision he could see her form his name, the word, desperately on her lips, over and over, but to no avail.

Come home, Ryou, beloved.

Come home. You don't belong here in the first place. Back to Odaiba, back to memories.

Back to me.

And then these calls, louder, louder still, began to grow percussive, a tattoo, without rhythm and deafening.

I beg of you, don't come any closer. Please…

Ryou's body was entirely numb. Renamon was right next to Ruki, always the faithful partner, grabbing hold of Cyberdramon, who was surely feeling the same thing. With the last of his vision he could see Ruki on his arm, grabbing him, trying to take him away from that blind darkness, back to where he belonged.

But where do you belong, Akiyama Ryou?

Please let go, please let go, please let go please go let please let go please let go please I beg let go please let go let go let go let go let go don't come with let go please…

Weakness now. With numbness came paralysis. Cyberdramon, as well; the Digimon's usual vice grip had slackened, arms growing smaller, smaller, degenerating… Ryou's thoughts were slackening; he could no longer think nor move nor could he scarcely breathe.

With the last of his vision, as the darkness swallowed him completely, stealing what remained of his consciousness, he could see the desperation in her bright, beautiful, amethyst eyes… His own eyes slid closed, tears escaping from the corners…

Please let go even though don't want to go please let me go please let go let go let go…

God, what have I done?


She remembered being sucked in, along with Renamon. Willpower prevented her from dying on the spot; no, this was not the way she was to die.

She was guided (misguided?) by eyes. She swam in their visions, they followed her, she ran but she couldn't escape them. Was this what he had been trying to run from?

Pain. Pain beyond excruciating, pain beyond any possible recognition. That was the darkness. Simple. Ruthless. Evil. Strangely, beautiful.

It consumed her.


Ruki… Why didn't you let go?!


To be continued...