Sometimes Sebastian wants to hit him. He wants to punch and scream and kick, because, god dammit, Richard Brook is not Jim, and it fucking hurts, ok?

Sometimes he just wants to wrestle Richard to the floor and stand over him and laugh because he never got to do that with Jim, was never the top, was always second best, was always just a friend and never a lover.

He hates the fact that Richard is always flipping smiling, always looking at something was bright inquisitive eyes, always listens, yet he wants Richard to yell at him for living up to his name, for being a moron, for being so soft. He wants the heat and excitement he got from Jim, not the shy looks, the sorry for being alive thing that Richard's got going on.

Sebastian want's Jim, but at the same time he doesn't, and it's so confusing when there's no one to help, and he's thought about going to Molly, fuck, he's thought about going to John or even Sherlock, but none of them could every help him.

Because Sebastian Moran is no longer the Second Most Dangerous Man in London. He's Richard Brook's carer and he is so fucking lonely.