I Shall Believe
By: esmtz
During the whole walk home Cartman kept wondering why all of a sudden he was feeling like something bad was going to happen to Stan. He was aware that it was slightly starting to pour as he looked at the sky which was covered in dark clouds completely hiding any sign of the sun.
'What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not supposed to care about ANY of those assholes so why do I feel this way all of a sudden?' Cartman thought to himself as all he kept feeling was anxiousness, 'This weather sure as hell isn't helping me feel any better either. Maybe playing some video games will take my mind off this goddamn feeling I'm having."
Cartman was too preoccupied thinking that he hadn't realized that he had already made it to his house. Not surprisingly his mom wasn't home so until she got back he had the house to himself. The first thing he did as soon as he got inside was get a drink from inside the refrigerator and head upstairs to his bedroom. He put his drink down on the table next to his bed and then he set his backpack next to his bed. He took off his jacket and put it down on top of his bed before going over to start up his Xbox and then taking a seat on his bed. For awhile playing Gears of War 3 kept his mind from wandering back to Stan as he was too busy killing enemies in horde mode. After having played for about an hour or so Cartman heard a knock coming from downstairs. He frowned when he heard his mom call up to him, having not known that she had shown up already, as he left the online match so he could see what his mom wanted. He made his way downstairs and was slightly surprised to find Kyle and Kenny standing there in front of the door.
"Oh hey Khal, Kenny. What's up?" Cartman asked frowning slightly.
Kyle rolled his eyes as he looked at him.
"We came to hang out what does it look like?" Kyle replied.
"Without Stan?" Cartman asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Stan said he'll come by when he's done. So until then let's go play some games!" Kenny replied as he made his way towards Cartman's room.
Cartman sighed shaking his head before following after Kenny.
"Cartman."
Cartman stopped, frowning slightly before turning to face Kyle who had a serious look on his face but for once there was no anger mixed in his expression. Instead it looked like Kyle was concerned about something.
"What is it Jew?" Cartman asked.
Kyle was looking at him trying to see if Cartman was still worried like he was earlier.
"Are you ok?" Kyle asked which caught Cartman totally by surprise.
"…Yeah of course I'm ok why wouldn't I be?" Cartman replied wondering why Kyle was even asking in the first place.
"You didn't look ok earlier. In fact it looked like you were worried about something. Is something going on that I don't know about Cartman?" Kyle asked.
Cartman winced as the feeling of worry came over him again.
"Nothings going on Khal and if something was you should just stay out of it because it's none of your business!" Cartman told him watching as Kyle started to get annoyed.
"There's no use in lying Cartman. It's clearly written all over your face that your worried maybe even scared about something and you're just too stubborn to come out and say it!" Kyle sighed, "Does this have anything to do with Stan?"
"W-Why would you think that it would be about Stan?" Cartman asked his stomach feeling like it was doing summersaults.
"Because of the way you reacted when Randy came and picked him up!" Kyle replied, "I was there remember? I saw how you looked when they left!"
Cartman sighed.
"It's nothing Khal. I just overreacted to something that I have no idea why I even reacted to at all."
Kyle simply stared at him making Cartman turn slightly red from embarrassment.
"What is it now you stupid Jew?" Cartman asked as he started to get annoyed.
Kyle chuckled shaking his head.
"What?!" Cartman asked again.
"Dude you're totally worried about Stan! I am amazed that you have that ability considering how you've always been before." Kyle said smiling slightly.
Cartman growled.
"I am not worried about that fucking hippie!"
"Cartman it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Honestly I'm just glad that finally you're not as heartless as you have been in the past. Before you seriously wouldn't give a shit if any of us died." Kyle told him.
"I STILL DON'T! I couldn't care less if either Stan, you or Kenny just suddenly died because you're forgetting that I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS!" Cartman yelled out.
"THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HANG AROUND US?! Jesus fatass we haven't done anything to you to make you say that! You CHOSE to hang around us so you have no damn business saying that you hate us because that is so far from the truth that it isn't even funny! If you truly hated us asshole all you had to do was stay away from us!" Kyle yelled back at him clearly starting to get angry enough to start beating the crap out of him.
"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ALONE OK?! There was no one else that I really liked so I chose you guys because you were the best ones out of everyone that I could of hung out with!" Cartman reluctantly admitted.
Kyle didn't say anything for a few seconds as he watched Kenny walk back downstairs so he could clearly see and hear what was going on.
"You can't possibly think that low of us do you Cartman? After everything all of us have been through?" Kyle asked.
Cartman didn't say anything as he watched Kyle trying so hard to stop himself from attacking him. Kyle tightly clenched and unclenched his hands as he glared angrily at Cartman.
"You're unbelievable Cartman. I can't and will never be able to understand why you constantly have to act like such a fucking bastard! You should at least be grateful that we put up with your shit every single damn day and yet I can't see you ever being grateful for what little amount of friends that you have even though you're claiming that you hate us. You want the truth Cartman? I would have left a fucking long time ago if it wasn't for the fact that Stan and Kenny feel sorry for you too damn much! All of us know that without us you wouldn't have any friends period because everyone else hates you so don't you fucking dare say that you couldn't care less if one of us dies because guess what fatass? We're all that you got!" Kyle growled angrily at him completely shaking with rage.
Cartman still didn't say anything as Kyle just stood there waiting for Cartman to at least say something. After a few seconds of awkward silence Kenny decided to say something.
"So uh are you guys done fighting now that way we can actually start playing video games?" Kenny asked looking from one to the other.
Kyle sighed obviously knowing that Cartman wasn't going to say anything.
"Sorry Kenny I'll catch up with you later. I'm just going to head home and wait for Stan to show up." Kyle said before turning to head out the door.
"Yeah alright Kyle I'll see you later then. I'll go by your house later hopefully when Stan's back." Kenny replied looking at him.
Kyle nodded and before closing the door behind him he looked at Cartman who still had a worried look on his face.
'Stubborn asshole.' Kyle thought to himself the look on Cartman's face still worrying him as he shut the door behind him.
Cartman felt like he was frozen in place as the truth behind what Kyle said hit him.
'He's right. He, Stan, Kenny and I guess Butters are all the friends I really do have. No one else would even want to be around me so why is it so damn hard for me to just admit to myself and to them that I am grateful and happy that they stuck around me.' Cartman thought to himself before thinking, 'Aw great I'm turning into a pussie.'
"So uh Cartman were you going to continue playing Gears or what?" Kenny asked making Cartman turn to face him.
"Uh yeah I was just doing some online horde mode but I can put it to local if you want to join in." Cartman replied looking at him.
"Sweet let's do it!" Kenny said before running back up the stairs.
After about an hour or so of them playing Gears of War 3 Cartman got a text from Kyle asking if he had gotten a phone call from Stan at all making Cartman frown slightly.
"What is it Cartman?" Kenny asked his eyes glued to the TV as he chainsawed a Kantus.
"It's from Khal. He's asking if we heard from Stan at all." Cartman said worriedly.
Kenny paused the game and turned to look at him with a frown on his face.
"What?" Kenny asked making Cartman show him the text, "Dude he's gotta be done by now. A doctor's appointment shouldn't take all that long unless he decided to go have dinner too but he really should have called by now."
Cartman sent Kyle a text back asking if he tried calling him. Before getting a reply he quickly looked up Stan's number on his cell and called it. It rang a good four or five times before it went to voicemail making Cartman hang up. He then heard his phone go off signaling he got a response from Kyle. Cartman quickly opened it up and read it.
"Stan's not answering." Cartman whispered his voice sounding like he was afraid.
Kenny looked at him wide eyed.
"Try calling him again dude!" Kenny said worriedly on the verge of starting to freak out.
Cartman's hands were shaking as he quickly started calling Stan's number again. Once again it was the same thing a couple of rings and then it went straight to voicemail. Cartman hung up before letting the phone drop from his hand. He had turned completely white and wasn't sure what to say to Kenny or rather if he even could say anything he was having trouble trying to comprehend what might be happening. Thankfully Kenny already knew from just looking at him.
"I'll be right back Cartman I'm going to Stan's house real quick." Kenny said before running out his bedroom door.
The only thought going through Cartman's mind was 'Something's wrong. Something's seriously SERIOUSLY wrong.'
Author's Note: Thanks Suhamakitten for your review. It really helped me to write this chapter especially since no one else is really reading it or liking it. Either way it doesn't matter I just wanted to post this story anyway because I thought it was a good idea to post it so yeah hopefully you'll like the way it ends. I will have an alternate ending for this or the real ending will be a good one not sure it's probably the same thing if I go either way. Anyway I kinda figured you forgot your password considering the last few times I got a review from you it was with a guest pen name. For awhile I thought you were too busy or forgot about my fanfics or something because you didn't review my last two chapters in Dirty Little Secret but at least I know that you're still around which is awesome. I always like to know when my stories are liked even if not a lot of people review or favorite it.
