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Ch. 2: Fuzzy Bits
Now Hermione Granger always made herself a monthly budget. She also had what one might call a slight addiction to shoes, purses, and occasionally the fancy undergarment. She wasn't a serial shopper per se, but when she had galleons left over after paying her bills, and saving some at Gringotts, she tried to find excuses to splurge on a fancy item. In her attempts at being a responsible adult she hadn't splurged on any of the aforementioned items in two years. The last thing she had bought were a pair of Muggle designer shoes in London for her 20th birthday. She had her galleons exchanged to pounds and hit Selfridges with a mission for peep toe pumps. But Hermione's mission didn't end there.
Hermione was a bit of a stalker. Not of men, no nothing that dramatic. She was stalking her parents. What had happened was, she left them in Australia. Even when she said it to herself it sounded bad.
After the war ended it took two years for the Death Eaters to all be imprisoned. When they were all captured Hermione went to Australia with the intention of bringing her parents home, but she couldn't. When she got there she found that they had created a successful dental office and were very happy with their lives. She didn't have the heart to uproot them and play with their memories once again. They had even bought a labradoodle to love and care for. Because of school she hadn't had the money or the time to return and check up on them again.
Today was one of Hermione's two weekdays without classes. She had just arrived for work at Fourish and Blott's after a good morning doing her volunteer work at St. Mungo's. She also volunteered on the weekends, soon she would have enough hours under her belt to count towards her Healer degree.
"Hiya Dave," she said cheerfully to the manager, "Did the new shipment of the potions manual for 6th years arrive yet?"
"Yup, they're in the back, stock em for me would ya?"
"No problem." Hermione clipped the fringe of her now pixie cut hair to the side, took out her wand and sent the box to the section for potions. She began to manually arrange the books and was done in an hour. Since it was the middle of the Hogwarts school year, on a weekday, there weren't any students coming in for supplies, just the odd shopper who was always, "Just having a look around." She did manage to help one little old woman find a book called 'Herbology of Houseplants' and another witch find her young son a picture book about Dragons.
It was almost time for her shift to end so Hermione went into the store's newest department.
"Oh we had an interesting shipment come in yesterday," Dave said winking as he walked past her in the Restricted Section. Hermione scanned the shelves for any books that hadn't been there when she had worked two days ago.
'Sex at Dusk', read that. 'The Origins of Sexual Activity in Wizadry', read that.
'Which Mistress Witch Are You?' Oh my, she thought. 'Strike It; the Art of Domination', and 'Spank, Safe Spanking for Beginners'.
Hermione chuckled out loud. She was suddenly reminded of a lecture two weeks ago in her Psychology of Wizard Sexuality class. 'Hundred Galleon tip.' Was what immediately popped into her mind, followed by, 'I should write my research paper on this.'
She picked up the three books and went to the till. Dave was there counting the contents. He looked at her selection.
"Whoaa mama who the bloody hell are you dating?" he said.
Hermione snorted, "No one I just thought it would be interesting."
"Yeah, okay, sure." He said taking the books from her and ringing them up. When he was finished she took them from him and put them securely in her bag.
"I'll see you Thursday." She said as she walked toward the door.
"Happy reading." He said with an eyebrow wiggle.
On her way home Hermione decided to pay the twins a visit and find out when the next Weasley family dinner was supposed to be. She walked into Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes expecting to find both brothers there, instead she found Draco Malfoy at the counter.
"What?" Hermione thought. The woman standing in front of her turned around and gave her a look. 'Apparently she had spoken out loud. There were only a handful of customers in the store so it wasn't as loud inside as it normally was. Draco heard her across the room and smirked to himself.
"Hello Granger." He said as she approached the counter.
"Um. Hi. Where are the twins?" She asked trying to seem not so bewildered by his presence.
"In the back, you can go through I don't think they'll mind." He said lazily as he leaned against a counter of WonderWitch products.
She nodded and walked past him to the back room. She looked back and saw that he was opening the cage of Pygmy Puffs. She stopped to stare as he handed a pink one to a little girl. He was becoming more and more human-like every time she saw him and it was boggling her mind.
"Hermione!" Fred said before squeezing her in a hug.
"To what do we owe the pleasure?" George asked before giving her a quick hug as well.
"I just wanted to drop in and say hi, and ask when is Molly's next big dinner?"
Molly usually held a family dinner once a month. Just so she could check up on all of her babies, biological and additional.
"She didn't owl you yet? Well because of Ginny's big move in two weeks, she says she wants to have the dinner this weekend." George said.
"Because it will be the last time she'll have her little baby there with her and the whole family together!" Fred said with a mock Molly voice complete with chest clutching.
"Don't mock your mother Fred." Hermione said smiling.
"She's having everyone over as a Bon Voyage to Ginny." George said.
"She's only going to Wales!" Fred remarked.
With George and Fred living above the shop, Harry and Ron sharing a flat, Ginny moving out and all the rest already with lives of their own, Hermione could see why Molly wanted to have a "bon voyage" dinner. All of her babies were leaving her nest. Hermione was the only one without a significant other… or a career for that matter.
Everyone in the Weasley family was also paired up, except for Charlie. Hermione knew from first hand experience that that was only because he didn't have the need for a relationship. She really needed to find someone who was not a Weasley.
"So, why is there a Malfoy loose in your store?" Hermione asked.
"He's interning." Fred said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Hermione waited for more explanation. George sensed her confusion, "Yeah he's in business school remember? He needed a place to intern. Sometimes he's out in the shop, sometimes he's in here ordering and maintaining things."
"Right…" was all Hermione could say. "Yeah, we run into each other at school, sometimes." She added dumbly.
"We know." Fred said as he smirked.
"What was that?" Hermione asked, "What was that little 'we know' tone you just used?"
Fred laughed and George grinned. "He tends to ask about you." Fred said
"What for? I hardly see him. I have one class with him." She said rather quickly.
"Yeah, beats us, he just brings you into conversation sometimes." George said.
"That's odd." She said, then added, "Have you seen him with those Pygmy Puffs?" hoping to take the attention away from Draco's mentioning of her.
"He loves those little fuzzy things." George said shaking his head, "He's always takin' some out and pettin' them."
"Yes I'm sure he adores little fuzzy bits." Fred said pointedly while looking directly at Hermione. George snickered. Hermione stared back at him for a moment before she understood what he was trying to say. Then her eyes widened with realization.
"Ew! I don't want to think about Draco and fuzzy bits!"
George began laughing hysterically.
"Wait! Did you just imply I have fuzzy lady bits?" Hermione said in shock.
George lost all control and laughed so hard he started crying.
Fred was also lost in a fit of hysterical laughter which surprisingly made Hermione laugh.
Fred was the first to calm down, "Well even Malfoy needs some fuzzy bits now and again. I just prefer they be attached to a…"
"Stop! You stop right there mister." Hermione said wrinkling her nose, and throwing up a hand in Fred's face. Draco getting sexual with anyone was not something Hermione ever needed to think about.
"Well we don't mean with you specifically…Just in general. I feel like it's been a while for him," George said.
What the fuck? Hermione thought to herself, she was weirded out enough for one afternoon and decided it was time to go. "Right… well I'm gonna go now since you're freaking me out. I'll see you guys at the Burrow this weekend." She said as she swatted the two playfully on the head.
She waved and walked to the shop. "Bye Malfoy." She said very quickly when she saw him.
Draco knew this was his chance, he hardly saw her in school and he could never catch her before she left their class. He went to the back room, excused himself from Fred and George and walked out of the store calm and collected. George wiggled his eyebrows at Fred who started hip thrusting.
When Draco spotted Hermione down the street he sped walked in her direction. He would of have ran if he had been the type of man desperate enough to run down a street for some girl he knew, but he was not that type of man. He finally caught up with her, his legs aching from trying to make the speed walking look as normal as possible.
"Granger." He almost panted out.
Hermione turned around with her wand out, "Oh!" she said when she saw it was him and put her wand away. "Malfoy?" She really hoped he wasn't going to bring up anyone's 'bits'.
"I need to ask a favor."
"Um, it depends on the favor." Hermione said warily.
"Relax. I need a computer."
Hermione was relieved and bewildered at the same time. "I must not have heard you correctly did you just say a computer?"
"Yes Granger quit being so dense."
"Oh shut up… What do you need a computer for?" She asked, meanwhile thinking that Fred and George were the ones who needed bits.
Ignoring her request that he shut up, he replied, "I'm taking a Muggle economics class and we have a presentation due at the end of the term which as you know is in seven weeks." He paused, "Oh don't look at me like that, we've discussed how I want to become a better person blah, blah, blah, and all that." He said after noticing her face take on an even more confused look.
"Yes we discussed that, but I didn't think you'd actually do it so quickly. A Muggle course in a Muggle school is a bit extreme for you don't you think? It's just shocking is all…This is why you've been so…pleasant as opposed to, well, unpleasant…. makes people think you want sex." She said more to herself than to him.
"I – what? Who thinks I want sex?"
This conversation was not one Hermione thought she'd ever be having in her lifetime. She really needed to filter her mouth before she just blabbed on about what was on her mind.
"Uh, the twins, especially because you keep bringing me into conversation."
"Because I need a computer not sex, you're a Muggleborn!" Hermione raised an eyebrow causing Draco to pause and realize he sounded rude, "Not that being Muggleborn is a reason not to have sex with you! There are other reasons!" Hermione's face became very neutral as she tried not to punch Draco in the face.
He really was not helping himself here, "I mean I wouldn't have sex with you because we have history, and the 'you're Muggleborn' thing applies to my assumption that you have a computer!" He said quickly.
He sighed, "I will kill those two." He said in reference to the twins.
Hermione accepted his explanation and cracked a smile. "I do have one, it's a laptop. I guess you could borrow it on the weekends."
"Well Malfoy Manor doesn't exactly have…what's it called? Why Pie?"
Hermione smiled, "Wi-Fi."
"Yes that, and what I'm also asking is…" he took a breath and rolled his eyes, "could you teach me how to use the computer?"
Hermione shrugged her shoulders, "Sure."
Wait, really? That's it? No more questions or threats from the Know-It-All? Draco thought.
"Alright then. Thanks." He smiled at Hermione.
Now she knew why he didn't like to smile in public, it was mesmerizingly distracting to the onlooker.
"You can, um, come over to my flat this weekend, no, wait, sorry, Thursday night. Is that good? My building is wi-fi capable." She said emphasizing the fi in wi-fi.
"Yeah, perfect." He said, "And don't mock me."
Hermione sighed and gave Draco her address.
"See you Thursday." Draco said before turning and heading back to the shop.
