Okay
I'm feeling the way that I'm feeling myself
Fuck everyone else
Gotta remember that nobody is better than anyone else, here
(Do you need some time to think it over?)
Look what they do to you
Look what they do to me
Must be joking if you think that either one is free, here
Get up off your knees, girl
Stand face to face with your God
And find out what you are
(Hello, my name is human)
Hello, my name is human
And I came down from the stars
(Hello, my name is human)
I'm ready for love and I'm ready for war
But I'm ready for more
I know that nobody's ever been this fucking ready before, hey
(Do you need some time to think it over?)
So figure it out or don't figure it out
I figured it out
The bigger the river (the bigger the river)
The bigger the drought (the bigger the drought)
Get up off your knees, boy
Stand face to face with your God
And find out what you are
(Hello, my name is human)
Hello, my name is human
And I came down from the stars
(Hello, my name is human)
Fire world, I love you
Fire world
I'm up off my knees, girl
I'm face to face with myself
And I know who I am
(Hello, my name is human)
I stole the power from the sun
I'm more than just a man
(No longer disillusioned)
(I'm not asking questions)
('Cause questions have answers)
(And I don't want answers)
I came down from the stars (so I'll take my chances)
(And what are the chances)
(That I could advance)
(On my own circumstances)
(Said "what are the chances?")
Hello, my name is human (and what are the chances?)
(I don't want your answers)
(I'm not asking questions)
(So you keep your answers)
And I know who I am (so you keep your answers)
(I'm not asking questions)
(I'm taking my chances)
Highly Suspect- "My Name Is Human"
Conference Room D
MI-6 Headquarters
London, England
Years ago, MI-6 had taken a risk on a specialized unit like Delta Red, who then had taken a risk on a then young ex-police officer, Keith Wolfman, who in turn had taken a risk on a group of deviants including a younger still ex-Shadowlaw assassin in Cammy herself...and it was finally paying off. Cammy had to play it up as much as she could.
"To date we at MI-6 have only managed to be reactive to Shadowlaw's attacks." Cammy explained with confidence. She stood at the end of a huge oak conference table as a soldier, looking and sounding the part. Hell, she really was as dedicated as she said she was. Maybe more so. She'd just finished presenting all of the information and though it should speak for itself, Colonel Wolfman had insisted she sell it and she was going to trust him. After all he was the one who'd done this before.
"There's no doubt we're a powerful force in anti-terrorism," Cammy continued "We pride ourselves as the best in the world but lets face it, it's all been defense. It's in being proactive about recovering these victims and in being proactive in obtaining the information that they can provide that we can truly gain what we need to launch a true offensive on Shadowlaw."
None of the four men sitting around the conference table aside from Colonel Wolfman had seen the actual battle field in over a decade. But there they sat alongside him, strategizing, moving pieces like a game of chess, trying their best to win with the least casualties and further their countries cause, and their careers. Just not necessarily in that order. Sometimes that meant follow the rules, and sometimes that meant break them. The mission Cammy proposed was clearly fruitful. She'd worked painstakingly for months at this and just delivered the presentation of her life but the room was silent. Why were they hesitating?
"Agent White," Director Sawyer began tiredly, after what felt like an eternity, from the head of the table as he cleaned his glasses. She couldn't tell if his face had been hardened by the battlefield or the war the higher ranking officers raged from a boardroom. He was Director of Intel at MI-6 and would be the final word on if her mission was a go or not, so she hoped it was the former. "The monetary resources needed to launch this-"
"Hannah ran the numbers," Wolfman interjected, "if you let Delta Red spear head, MI-6 should see no budgetary changes."
"Additionally," Cammy added as she shuffled through her notes, "the mission being connected to our treatment program opens up grant money for use."
Sure Cammy understood the pressure to deliver bigger results with no scandal was on but still, results were results. In the case of capturing Vega, who's extensive criminal history and kill count had him on the U.N.'s most wanted list, Delta Red had proven they could get results. Cammy had proven she could get results. However, since it was Cammy who proposed a plan of attack on Shadowlaw, and she had a kill count rivaling Vega's, albeit under mind control, they hesitated as if her successes hadn't been her own. Colonel Wolfman believed in her cause, that wasn't the problem.
"I see." The Director stated flatly. "And the information?"
"As I stated before, we've proven with myself and Juli what this inside knowledge can do to break a case. When we rescue these women...the information we're going to gain by bringing in these key members is astronomical."
"If they're stable." Sawyer's Intel Manager, Agent Bowen interjected as he narrowed a set of beady brown eyes on her.
"Dr. Rodmovic is amazing and well prepared to handle the psychiatric care. His report was included with mine." Cammy defended. "Including a glowing report of my own sanity." she added sarcastically, not missing the Agent's hint. The treatment program had been doing great, and got a great boost specifically from Vega's capture and Juli providing information. Both things that would not have happened without Cammy. They could try and hide it all they wanted but it was clear, they didn't question the plan, they questioned Cammy.
"Yes," the third man added softly. By process of elimination, he had to be The Director's Security, Agent Cummings. Finally, someone who understood the battlefield. "That's great. We know you've been through a lot." The fake concern was the final insulting straw.
"I'm sorry, sirs" Cammy apologized, using every ounce of her strength to stay calm but finding she had to say something to make them stop dancing around it. "Am I to believe that we're not here to review the details of my plan of attack, but rather to decide if I'm fit?" Her minor outbursts created a silence among the men. Colonel Wolfman cleared his throat, trying to signal her to continue, to give these old bureaucrats something to hold onto. Between clenched teeth she asked. "Can you just tell me your concerns so we can move forward?"
"They should be painfully obvious, Agent White." Director Sawyer bit.
"Yes, Shadowlaw kidnapped me and used me as a Doll. That's painfully obvious, trust me. Yet I still have my position, in fact, I've excelled. I have proved time and time again without question that my goal is to bring Shadowlaw down once and for all. I don't understand why this is any different."
"Using government resources to fund a mission to systematically find and rescue the members of the Dolls elite assassin squad." Agent Bowen added. "The squad you led. That's personal. We question your ability to keep your decisions sound."
"Of course it's personal! It is for everyone in Delta Red." It was hard to control herself, not to seem too emotional. Because she was emotional about this, she was passionate about this mission, but since she was a woman she had to hold back and try to explain. "It was personal when I made the decision to join and it was sure as hell personal when I hunted down and captured Vega. I get results."
"No one is questioning your performance." Agent Cummings insisted. "It's just a systematic mission of this sort is-"
"It's complicated." Wolfman interjected, trying to ease the tension. "But in my experience Agent White can do complicated with a hand tied behind her back."
"You say complicated, I say risky." Bowen summarized.
"High risk, high reward." Cammy shrugged confidently beaming a smile in his direction.
"Yes, the results of you actions will either be very bad or very good." Sawyer added ending the go round there before it got nasty. "Moving on?" he signaled Cummings.
"There are some concerns about the contract's you requested." Agent Cummings shared as he shuffled through a binder. "The first being Scott K. Wagner, former Sergeant in the United States Air Force."
Now Cammy's rage had a focus point, mainly someone bad mouthing her adopted brother.
"So concerns about me and now concerns about him?" Cammy stated exasperated. "It's starting to feel like a witch hunt on victims of Shadowlaw."
"If wanting details about someone who's to possibly be a part of this mission is a witch hunt, than so be it, especially when they've been dishonorably discharged from the United States Air Force." Agent Bowen added.
"For bullshit charges!"
"Agent White!" Colonel Wolfman barked, halting her before she could continue her disrespectful tirade. So much for proving it wasn't personal.
"My apologies." Cammy said with a softened tone. "Politics have never been my strong suit and I'm afraid that's why Wagner lost his rank and career. It's a sensitive subject."
"Before this most recent occurrence, Sergeant Wagner was a model soldier." Wolfman explained for Cammy. She was so glad he had her back and spoke the panels language. "Awards, medals of honor. The whole Captain America deal. We've worked with him on several other occasions and never had any issues before."
"His father worked for Shadowlaw." Bowen declared.
"And was killed in front of Wagner for it." Cammy defended. "You want an army against Shadowlaw that can win but when I bring you one that's serious and wants to fight you twist the details?"
"Fair enough Agent White." Sawyer declared, raising his hand in surrender. "If Mr. Wagner's record is clear with us I don't see why a one mission contract would be a problem."
Casa Del Sol Apartments
Los Angeles, California
United States
The apartment was new. To him at least. The physical bones of the building were older perhaps than Wagner himself. Somehow in his twenty nine years, he'd become more worn down than the pale yellow walls that surrounded him in the small space. Compared to the steel gray walls of military prison, the color might as well have been a Tahitian sunset. He chugged the rest of his beer from his seat on his worn leather sofa and tossed the can into a cardboard box of trash situated by the door. The aluminum can clanged loudly against the others not long ago discarded themselves. A few others hadn't been so lucky and littered the floor around the doorway. More still sat among boxes at Wagner's feet, full and ready.
His cellphone buzzed and he made no move to answer it, instead swiping another beer and popping the tab. His overgrown blonde hair fell into his blue eyes as he looked down at the screen, seeing Guile's number flashing. It wasn't surprising, his surrogate father had called him everyday since he'd gotten out, and Wagner had yet to answer, nevertheless reply to his messages. It wasn't going to change anything. Guile was the best man he knew and Wagner, well he was just a hypocrite.
In a matter of days Wagner had lost everything and then over the last six months all he'd had was time to realize no matter what mental gymnastics he tried to play with himself, he was at fault. He'd lost his military career, his counseling career and his freedom. He'd been telling himself it was all over one mistake but when he really looked back he couldn't deny many more mistakes. Six months didn't sound like a long time but it felt like six years. The brochure for military prison conveniently forgets to mention the part about being told what a piece of shit you are all day every day.
Remembering that made Guile's call easy to ignore but it was when the voicemail tone sounded that Wagner's curiosity got the better of him. The previous messages had started out nice enough and than slowly but surely they degraded from appeals to be rational to emotional pleas and than downright threats. Wagner wasn't sure what Guile's next tactic would be but he cracked open another beer for the show. He pushed the speaker button and listened to the voice mail as he unpacked the last box.
"Son it's me." came Guile's voice over the speakerphone. "I know what you're going through is tough."
"Understatement of the year." Wagner muttered under his breath as he pulled dusty frames filled with his awards out. They were as useless as he was.
"This isn't about me and you. It's about Jane. She's worried."
"Now guilt? Should have known that'd be next." he said to himself, tossing the awards, frames and all into the cardboard box of trash by his door. The glass cracked when he threw the second one in. And again with the next. And the next...
"Tomorrow is Christmas and if you'd just come for her...she-we just want to see you. I lov-"
Wagner quickly punched his finger down on the phone's screen deleting the message before he heard the rest of Guile's words. He was breathing hard and when staring down at the remaining awards the weight hit him again. He just couldn't take it. He just couldn't be around them. All it did was remind him of what a failure he was. What a disappointment he was. He squeezed his eyes shut and kicked the box to the side, strewing the remaining contents as he yelled.
"Ahhh!" Wagner thrashed and kicked until every frame was in a pile by the door, shattered to pieces. When he turned he stared down at his Air Force flag, now sprawled open on the floor, covered in dirt and debris and felt nothing. He swept it to the side and opened another beer before he flopped onto the sofa.
So this was his life now? Wagner had managed to make it through and somehow thought despite all of his realizations, things would be okay. Because of Juli. Then this morning when he'd started collecting his things, putting together the pieces of his life that were still there, he'd found it. A dear John letter with his name in neat script on the front. Juli's script. The one thing he'd had left, the one person this had all been for was gone. Juli didn't want him anymore. He didn't even have to read it to know. And even worse still, he deserved it. He deserved to be alone.
Conference Room D
MI-6 Headquarters
"What about this Julian Marquez?" Sawyer added, moving forward with his questioning of her requested contacts for the mission. "Prison time, Shadowlaw and gang connections? This is some shady stuff. Can we trust him?"
"Informants are typically shady." Cammy retorted. The third degree was getting old and she found herself reverting to old habits. "That's how they get the information." Cammy looked to Wolfman just as he gave her a death glare. She was thankful for the gesture. He communicated through that stare and a facial expression that said 'stop being a smart ass' and to let him handle this before he continued for her.
"Once again, we've worked with Mr. Marquez in the past without problems."
"He asked if he was a risk." Bowen clarified.
"A calculated risk, yes." Cammy admitted recalling the complicated nature of her and Julian's relationship. "However, Julian has never wavered in his willingness to cooperate if his information is used to bring Shadowlaw down."
"Even when he and his father worked for them?" Cummings questioned.
"Yes, even then" Cammy replied bluntly. "It's no secret that Shadowlaw prey's on young men from rough circumstance to feed their army. Julian was one of them. Sure, my kidnapping and subsequent brainwashing was more cut and dry and he joined willingly, but it doesn't mean he wasn't manipulated. Besides he's a big part of why I ever even escaped them." She laughed. "He's betrayed them at every turn and paid a hell of a price for it."
"They kidnapped his son" Wolfman elaborated. "Mind you he'd given the Americans tons of information before this, it appears that's why Shadowlaw targeted him. But even through that he cooperated with us at every turn, only asked that we aid in finding Dorian. Which we were successful in."
"So what reason does he have to help us now?" Bowen threw in.
"Sometimes things being personal can pay off." Cammy retorted, earning her a snicker from the Agent Cummings.
"If he's given all that over the years and kept his head he shouldn't be a problem." Sawyer declared. "We all know that work can be dirty."
Old Fellows Cemetery
East Los Angeles, California
The mausoleum was large, stone walls holding row after row of tiny drawers, resting places for generations of a family who's name was long ago worn from the cement in which it was engraved. It wasn't the family name that mattered, nor was he here to mourn the passing of a loved one. They needed the privacy and the fear factor didn't hurt either. Julian lead the way into the dark tomb, bright light streaming in from the streetlights above head. He was followed by Gabriel, his number two, who pushed the poor sap who'd broken the law of the Latin Kings ahead of him. Gabriel shoved the man forward, acting as any good enforcer should and doing the dirty work. One they were inside, Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest as he took his place next to Julian, who stared forward, face stern as he lit a cigarette. The Latin man stuttered, pulling his gold bandanna off his shaved head, making him look like a peasant beggar of old.
"It was just a job, man." he pleaded, eyes darting around him. "I-I needed the money!"
Julian nodded his head slightly as he took another drag, signaling Gabriel to begin. In a movement so quick it appeared he disappeared and reappeared before the disgraced gangster, Gabriel's first smashed into the gangsters face. Blood droplets from the initial blow landed on Julian's pant leg and all he could find himself thinking was that this was explicitly why he wore all black.
"I don't want to do this Andre," Gabriel stated coldly. "But you know the rules." The one sided onslaught continued, Andre knowing better than to fight back. When you were in this much shit, you took your punishment without complaint. After a few more strikes, Andre hit the ground, curling into the fetal position. Julian didn't know exactly when he'd let himself become so desensitized to it all he thought as he smoked his cigarette to completion and watched the man, barely out of his teens, get the shit beat out of him. Maybe it was when he put a bullet in the back of the head of the man who killed his father and tried to kill his son? Maybe it was just the person he had to be in order to be the ruthless leader the Latin Kings needed. Either way, something like this was business as usual for him now and he'd gotten used to it quickly. Julian remained still while Gabriel repeatedly kicked Andre in the ribs and torso. He reared his leg back, and shattered the guys nose, painting the stone floor red. Julian motioned with his hand and throwing his cigarette butt away and Gabriel ceased his attack without a word of question.
"I don't know how much more clear I can be." Julian finally said as Andre rolled to sitting, holding his broken nose in his hands. "No Shadowlaw means no Shadowlaw." When Julian's father was alive and in charge he'd had a bad habit of depending on Shadowlaw, and it'd cost him his life. Now that Julian was in control, he was having a hard time removing his charge from their influence.
"I'm sorry." Andre mumbled through bloody lips. "Please, I was just a lookout."
"The three P's, ese." Gabriel chided, scratching his neck which held a tattoo of "Latin Kings" in neat script. "Pot, pussy and protection. That's all we do now. And we don't do any of it for Shadowlaw." Gabriel wasn't a fan of Julian's choice to avoid moving and dealing in certain things, aside from the Shadowlaw bit. But that's where the big money was and there were some growing pains.
Julian approached Andre, looking down at him coldly. He held his hand out, making the man flinch.
"How much did they pay you?"
"Ten grand."
"Give it to me."
Hurriedly, Andre reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of cash, handing it over to Julian who tossed it to Gabriel.
"Feels light." Gabriel quickly noted, walking back towards the fallen gangster menacingly.
"Look I'm no rat!" Andre stammered, pride causing him to work his way to standing. Julian reached out, stopping Gabriel who'd gotten better at hiding his frustration with Julian's mercy. Julian pulled his suit jacket forward, buttoning it as he spoke.
"You need money you come to me." The statement was harsh but held compassion. "I'll find you work. Now go home and if I ever hear about you so much as pissing out a fire on someone associated with Shadowlaw I'll kill you."
"Y-yes sir." he stammered as he slipped out of the cement enclosure.
"And I'm finding the person who got half the cut!" Gabriel yelled after him. "So you'd better tell them to watch their ass!"
Julian lit another cigarette from his pack as Gabriel continued, just speaking to him, tone softer now that they were alone.
"I told you this was how it was gonna be, Jules." Gabriel chided him casually, not dumb enough to talk with him like this in front of just anyone. Julian and Gabriel had grown up in the gang together on the streets of New York. While Julian has been running from this fate for years, Gabriel had been working his way through the ranks. It was Julian's family name that had put Julian at the top. Well that and the ruthlessness that his father had instilled in him. Just because he hated it didn't mean he wasn't good at it.
"They'll learn." Julian stated simply, enjoying the cigarette more thoroughly now that he wasn't watching an assault during it. He was not in the mood for lectures from Gabriel. But still...
"You made Guillermo an example." Gabriel pushed. "Something like that sticks with people. This is kid stuff."
"You said it yourself," Julian retorted. "the transition is gonna be hard. I don't think these kids need to pay a traitors fate, especially one who wouldn't rat out his friend."
"You're the boss." he sighed in resignation, patting Julian on the shoulder as a goodbye before heading out of the tomb.
"Let me know when you find the other one." Julian instructed as farewell before looking down at his ruined shoes. He'd have to change before he got home. Couldn't very well keep his new profession a secret from Dorian if he came home covered in blood. Now it'd be another hour before he could finally rest for the night and even then, Julian was never sure if sleep would come or not. This was his life and as much as he liked to pretend, he loved the security for he and Dorian being a gang leader gave him. Now just after six months in control, Julian understood his father in a way he never had before. Control was good, control was safe. Yet he was afraid. Julian knew one thing, he liked the power and that was exactly what scared the shit out of him.
Conference Room D
MI-6 Headquarters
"See sir? That's two more people on our side who want nothing more than to see the end of Shadowlaw." Cammy explained to Agent Sawyer and the panel, fighting with everything she had to get this mission. Having approval for aid from Wagner and Julian was just a small part of that. This was her mission, her passion, her life, her sisters... she had to fight. "And I want to give you twelve more women who are more powerful as the survivors we at Delta Red can make them than the victims Shadowlaw has bred and brainwashed. Organizations are destroyed from within, sirs. My plan is going to expedite that and put your names in the history books for dismantling Shadowlaw once and for all. I hope you don't pass on this opportunity because no matter what, it's MY mission in life to bring them down. Whether its through MI-6, legally, illegal-ish or otherwise, I can promise you I will recover these women. It's up to you if you want to help me and reap the rewards."
It was bold but it was the truth. This whole meeting had been about risk. Cammy's risk to them. Not one mention of Shadowlaw's continued existence or the continued manipulation of the Dolls. But they were concerned if Cammy was doing this for the right reasons. Despite the insult of it all Cammy prayed they'd seen she was ready for war. Sawyer was silent in contemplation for what felt like forever. He exchanged some quiet words with Bowen and Cummings before he finally spoke. He placed his hands on the wooden table.
"You'll get a trial go of it." he declared simply. Cammy's eyes grew wide and it took everything she had to not jump across the table and hug Director Sawyer. Colonel Wolfman beamed a grin in her direction that said he always knew this would be the result. She silently thanked protocol for helping her know what to do and settled for a salute.
"Thank you, sir!"
"We'll need to see results, sooner than later." He smiled as he collected his things and headed for the door, subordinates in tow. His eyes met her before he turned; they sparkled with what she could only guess was a peek into the agent he was in his younger years. His voice trailed as he exited the conference room, but Cammy would never forget hearing them for the first time. "Good luck, Agent Commander White."
A/N: Scott K. Wagner is an original character of iceangelmkx who has been kind enough to allow me to use him in my stories for over a decade without question. Julian Marquez and Gabriel Mendoza are my own original characters.
