"What the hell am I going to do?" Chuck demands, frustrated, pacing across the room.
Yancy, sitting on a pile of crates on the other side of the room, doesn't respond. Chuck's been saying the same thing for hours and they still don't have any ideas.
The initial exhilaration of discovering that he's alive has gone. Racing through the Shatterdome looking for Yancy, Chuck had happily stopped by every person he'd seen, shouting that he was here, he was alive.
No-one had noticed him, but that wasn't unusual these days and wasn't enough to dent his good mood.
Yancy had been thrilled for him, which made up for everyone else's complete lack.
And then, they'd both realized the huge problem of their situation.
No-one could see Chuck or hear him or feel him.
Everyone thought he was dead, and there was no way for him to tell anyone that he was still alive.
"What the hell are we going to do?" Chuck asks despairingly, flopping on the boxes at Yancy's feet.
Yancy sighs. "I don't know," he says, and Chuck is startled to hear frustration and sadness in his voice. "Ghosts can't communicate with the living. I don't know how we can let anyone know that you're alive."
Chuck hates the expression on Yancy's face. The expression that says he's failing someone, again.
"We have to think of something," Chuck says.
Yancy nods in silent agreement, but he doesn't look hopeful.
Two days later, they haven't made any progress, except to completely freak out Raleigh. They've discovered that Raleigh is sensitive to Chuck's presence. That he seems to feel when Chuck is around, shiver when Chuck touches him, almost hear something when Chuck shouts.
Yancy thinks this is progress.
Chuck thinks he's screwed, because despite every effort he makes, Raleigh is the only one (outside of Max, who's not really in a position to help) who has even the slightest inkling that Chuck is there. And Raleigh's at the point of thinking he's going crazy.
"I'm telling you," Raleigh says earnestly to Mako, Gottlieb, and Geiszler, "there's something going on."
Gipsy Danger's pilots are in Gottlieb and Geiszler lab in the bowels of the Shatterdome. Despite the renewed funding for the PPDC, the two heads of the K-science division have insisted on remaining in the same lab, so the space is a cluttered mess of computers and Kaiju parts. Yancy and Chuck have settled themselves along the far wall of the room.
"Raleigh," Mako says soothingly, "perhaps you are just stressed."
Raleigh gives her a side-eyed look and a raised eyebrow.
"I know what stress feels like," he says. "I even know what post-traumatic stress feels like. This is something else." He hesitates, then goes on. "This feels like… after Knifehead. When I was in the hospital and kept thinking I was seeing Yancy everywhere."
Mako makes a pained noise and reaches for her co-pilot's arm. "Raleigh…" she says, trailing off.
Raleigh shrugs away from her touch and looks uncomfortable. Mako withdraws her hand.
"Are you… seeing Yancy again?" she asks tentatively.
Raleigh shakes his head, crossing his arms protectively.
"No," he says. "I'm not… seeing anything. Just… feelings. Like someone's watching me. Sometimes I feel like someone has just grabbed my shoulder, but there's no-one there and I didn't really feel anything. Sometimes I think I hear someone shouting at me, but I can never actually make anything out. I know," he goes on, reading the apprehensive expression on Mako's face. "I know it sounds crazy but, it's real. There's something going on."
He turns to Gottlieb and Geiszler, casting them a desperate look. "Could this be the Drift?" he asks. "A remnant of Yancy? Or… a side effect of being in the Anteverse? Something?"
Gottlieb and Geiszler share speaking looks and seem to have an entire conversation without actually speaking. Chuck has noticed that they do this a lot since their Drift with the baby Kaiju.
They turn back to Raleigh in unison, and Geiszler takes the lead.
"There's a lot we just don't know about the Drift," he says. "Especially with what you experienced when… you know."
"When Yancy died?" Raleigh says.
Geiszler nods. "Yeah," he says awkwardly. "It hadn't happened before, and it hasn't happened since. I mean, lots of pilots have lost co-pilots, but you're the only one whose had a co-pilot die while you were still drifting. Well, the only one that survived. Between that and the Ghost Drift… it's definitely possible that this is some remnant of Yancy."
"Of course," Gottlieb interjects, "we know even less about the Anteverse than we do about the Ghost Drift, so it's equally possible these phenomena you are experiencing are being caused by that. Have you spoken with Medical?"
Raleigh shakes his head. "No," he says, "but I got cleared a week ago when we got back from the Breach run."
"It could have developed since then," Gottlieb says speculatively. "Dr. Geiszler, do you think—"
"Yes, yes," Geiszler says. "Maybe the—"
And they're off, trading complex scientific terms and ignoring everyone else in the room.
"Raleigh, why didn't you say anything?" Mako asks softly, stepping closer to Raleigh a putting a hand on his arm.
Raleigh allows the contact, but shrugs. "I didn't want to worry you," he says, then flinches when she punches him in the arm.
"You are my co-pilot and my friend," she says. "It is my right to worry about you."
Raleigh sighs and rubs his arm. "I know," he says. "Honestly, I was trying not to think about it."
Mako puts a hand on his shoulder. "This does not seem like something that will go away if you ignore it," she says.
"Kind of figured that," Raleigh says.
They smile at each other.
"We have an idea," Geiszler says, interrupting the moment.
Both Raleigh and Mako smooth out their expressions and turn back to the doctors.
"We can't be sure what you're experiencing Ranger Becket," Gottlieb says, "but we can take an image of your brain activity and compare it to the records we have of Drift activity and..." he makes a nervous expression and glances at Raleigh. "And… to your records from after Knifehead."
"Right," Geiszler says, rushing in to fill the awkward silence, "because you said this was like what you experienced after Knifehead, so we can compare and see if you're right."
He pauses and shares a look with Gottlieb.
"Look," he says, turning back to Raleigh, "we can do this test for you, but we really think this is something Medical, and maybe the Marshall needs to be told about."
Raleigh sighs. "I know," he says. "Can we do the test first and see if there's anything there before we get everyone else involved?"
The doctors nod and turn together to the piles of equipment on Geiszler's side of the lab, moving to unearth Geiszler's homemade Drift device. After a final long look at Raleigh, Mako heads across the lab to help them, joining their conversation easily.
Alone, Raleigh sighs and seems to slump, looking tired and small. Chuck feels a little bad about apparently pushing Raleigh into this position.
He'll feel less bad, though, if they're able to find a way to communicate with Raleigh and rescue Chuck.
If that happens, Chuck makes a silent promise to himself to apologize to Raleigh for driving him to a nervous breakdown.
Raleigh shifts on his side of the lab, casting glances at the three across the room. Even Chuck can see that they're going to be a while, so he's not surprised when Raleigh sighs and begin to wander. The back corner of the lab has been filled with crates and piles of dusty and half-assembled equipment. Chuck knows that most of this equipment was shipped in over the years as the other Shatterdomes closed, and that it's just never been processed.
He's not even sure Gottlieb and Geiszler know what's in all these boxes.
One of the crates seems to catch Raleigh's attention. A piece of machinery is sticking half out of the box. Most of it still hidden by packing material and the wooden sides of the shipping crate, but Chuck can see a pyramid shape sticking out of the top. Chuck has no idea what it is, but he doesn't like it.
As Raleigh approaches, the shape begins to glow softly and the top begins to spin lazily. Raleigh cocks his head and blinks in surprise.
"What the…" he says softly and takes a step closer.
The glow intensifies and the top spins a little faster. The bad feeling in Chuck's gut intensifies into almost physical pain. A surprised glance at Yancy tells him that the older pilot is getting the same terrible feeling.
"I don't like this," Yancy says, hopping down off the crates. Chuck is only a few seconds behind him.
"Hey guys," Raleigh calls softly, but Mako, Gottlieb, and Geiszler are absorbed in an argument over the make-shift Drift device and don't respond.
Yancy and Chuck start across the room just as Raleigh comes within arms' reach of the device. The glow has intensified into a white light and the top is spinning so fast it's impossible to see the individual revolutions. Raleigh reaches for the device seemingly mesmerized.
"Raleigh, don't!" Yancy calls, just as Chuck yells, "Becket, stop!"
Raleigh's hand comes down on the device.
There's a crack and sizzle like a bolt of lightning striking and a bright flash of light. Chuck feels like something has slammed into his gut and he has to catch himself on one of the lab tables to keep from falling to his knees. Dimly, he hears confused noises and shouts from Mako, Gottlieb, and Geiszler.
He and Yancy are both levering themselves back to their feet when Mako shouts "Raleigh!" and darts past them. They lunge after her without hesitating and come around the corner of the lab table to find Raleigh seizing on the floor.
"Oh Jesus Christ," Yancy says, stumbling forwards to drop to his knees next to Raleigh.
"Call for medical!" Mako shouts, bracing Raleigh's head on her thighs to keep him from smashing it on the floor.
Chuck stumbles forwards and drops down on Raleigh's other side.
"Raleigh," Yancy says. "Raleigh, Raleigh, Raleigh." He reaches out to touch Raleigh and his hand goes right through his brother. Yancy makes a low keening sound as Raleigh limbs continue to jerk.
"You idiot," Chuck says numbly. "You moron! Why would you touch it?" He realizes distantly that he's shouting.
There's noise at the door and Chuck glances up to see a doctor and a pair of medic rushing into the lab.
Raleigh's eyes are open when he looks down and the pilot seems to have stopped seizing.
"You stupid idiot," Chuck says. "What the hell were you thinking?"
Raleigh's brow furrows and he mouths something. Chuck thinks it might be his name.
"Raleigh," Yancy whispers.
Raleigh's head rolls in Yancy's direction.
This time, Chuck hears him murmur "Yancy?" in a confused whisper.
Then Raleigh is seizing again, the medics are shoving their way in, and Raleigh is being lifted onto a stretcher and rushed away.
Hours later, Chuck and Yancy are standing around in medical as Raleigh prepares to be discharged. The doctors have given him a clean bill of health, which Chuck feels is ridiculous. Raleigh was seizing only a few hours ago. But the doctors have found no injuries and no damage from whatever it was that Raleigh touched. (Which Gottlieb and Geiszler are still arguing about.)
"Seriously? They're just going to let him go," Chuck says incredulously.
Yancy makes a frustrated noise. "There's nothing wrong with him. Except that he's an idiot," he says, raising his voice at the last bit.
Across the room, Raleigh makes a strange face and cocks his head.
Chuck sighs. "Now what?" he asks.
Raleigh is his best hope for getting back alive, and now that medical and Herc know about his experiences in sensing Chuck (though they have no idea that that's what's going on) they're talking about sending him to the best hospital in Hong Kong to get a full work-up done. There's no reason Chuck and Yancy can't follow, but Chuck know that his best chance is if Raleigh is here with people who will think the phenomena are Ghost Drift or Jaeger related, not Raleigh having a nervous breakdown.
"I don't know," Yancy says, answering Chuck's question. "Raleigh is… your best hope. If we can't get him to realize that you're here…"
Chuck blows out a frustrated breath. "I'm right here, you morons," he yells towards Raleigh and he group gathered around Raleigh's bed. And Raleigh narrows his eyes, cocks his head as if he's heard something, and looks right at Chuck and Yancy.
By the time dinner time arrives, Chuck is feeling wrung out. He's dropped back into the escape pod twice in the last few hours. Each time, he seems to stay a little longer. Which is depressing because he can tell that the power is failing. Also, he thinks that the pod has sprung a leak, which he's trying desperately not to think about.
He's going to die in that pod, he thinks, and no-one is ever going to know.
Chuck is tired and feeling defeated. He doesn't even feel like making an effort, so he just slumps face first onto the table across from Yancy. A few seats down, Raleigh and Mako are picking their way through dinner, Mako keeping a concerned and scrutinizing eye on Raleigh.
Across from him, Yancy is equally distracted by keeping an eye on Raleigh.
Chuck doesn't mind. He's perfectly happy to put his head down on his crossed arms and brood.
"Are you alright?" he hears Mako ask Raleigh.
Raleigh sighs. "Yes Mako," he says, "I'm alright. Just tired."
Mako makes a dissatisfied sound. "I still do not understand what you were thinking," she says severely. "Surely you know better than to touch equipment you know nothing about."
Raleigh snorts and laughs a little hysterically. "You sound just like Yancy," he says.
"Raleigh," Mako says severely.
"Sorry," Raleigh says, sobering. "Just… I don't know what happened. It was just there and it was like I couldn't help myself. Anyway, that's not important."
"Not important—" Mako starts, sounding on the edge of genuine fury.
"I saw Yancy," Raleigh says, effectively derailing Mako's remonstrations.
"You… saw Yancy?" she asks tentatively.
Raleigh nods silently.
"It's not… unusual to see visions of loved ones when you yourself are close to death," Mako says tentatively.
"Yeah," Raleigh says. "I know." He pauses and rubs a hand uncomfortably across the back of his neck. "The thing is," he continues, "I thought I saw Chuck as well."
Both of Mako's eyebrows go up in surprise and Chuck's head comes off the table. His focus abruptly narrows in on Raleigh and across the table he can see Yancy come back to full awareness of the conversation in an instant.
"You think you saw Chuck?" Mako asks, something knowing in her voice.
"Shut up," Raleigh says ducking his head and (what the hell, Chuck thinks) a blush stealing across his cheeks. Check has no idea what to think about this.
"And what was Chuck doing in your vision?" Mako asks, sounding amused.
Raleigh sighs. "Shouting at me. For being stupid and touching the device."
Mako's mouth twitches upwards in a smile. "That does sound like him," she says.
"Yeah I got that impression."
"Was Yancy also shouting at you?" Mako asks, still amused.
Raleigh nods. "Yeah," he says. "Same song, different verse."
"You are very strange," Mako says, shaking her head fondly. "One would think that, if you were dying, you would prefer to see comforting loved ones. But you, Raleigh, you conjure people who shout at you."
Raleigh sighs and his expression turns somber.
"That's the thing," he says. "I don't think I conjured them."
"Then how…?" Mako says in confusion.
"I think they were already there," Raleigh says.
"Like… the Ghost Drift?" Mako asks tentatively.
Raleigh shakes his head. "Like ghosts," he says.
Mako blinks and looks surprised, but doesn't reject the idea out of hand.
"You believe Yancy and Chuck are still here? As ghosts?" she asks.
Raleigh nods. Chuck's mouth drops open in surprise and when he shifts to meet Yancy's gaze, he sees the same surprise reflected in the older pilot's face.
"How long?" Mako asks.
"How long have I thought they were here? Or how long have I believed in ghosts?" Raleigh asks.
Mako shrugs. "Both. Either," she says.
Raleigh sighs and looks away, staring into the distance. "I guess I've believed in ghosts since… well, since Knifehead," he says. "I used to see Yancy in the halls in the hospital in Anchorage. All the time. I think I told you that."
He looks at Mako and she nods.
"You did," she says softly.
"At the beginning," Raleigh says, "I was so damaged and drugged that I barely knew what way was up. I thought they were hallucinations. And then the doctors thought it was the Ghost Drift. And I guess I accepted it; I stopped seeing Yancy after I recovered. Though I think a part of me never really believed that they were hallucinations. I always kind of thought he'd stick around to look after me."
He pauses and sighs, his eyes distant, looking back into memories.
"Then we drifted for the first time," he says, meeting Mako's gaze. "You remember?"
Mako nods and grimaces.
"Yeah," Raleigh says. "Not our best moment."
They share a look that speaks of shared experience and pain.
"Anyway," Raleigh continues, "as we were falling out of sync and you started rabbiting, I… I thought I saw Yancy in the Conn Pod."
Chuck turns to look at Yancy. "Were you… Were you there for that?" he asks.
Yancy nods, not tearing his eyes away from Raleigh.
"Yes," he says, sounding dazed. "Yes, I was there for that."
Chuck turns back to Raleigh and Mako just as Mako says, "I think… I saw him too."
Raleigh's gaze sharpens. "You do?" he asks incredulously.
"I thought… that it was a side effect of the drift. Or of us being out of sync. I tried to ignore it," Mako says.
Raleigh blinks. "Huh," he says, the smiles. "Maybe not such a crazy idea after all."
Mako smiles and nods back.
"If they are truly here," she asks, "how can we be sure? How can we see them?"
Raleigh shakes his head. "I don't know," he says. "Whenever it's happened before, I can't think of anything I've done to make it happen."
The pair falls into silence. Chuck shares a frustrated glance with Yancy. They're so close and yet at the same time so unspeakably far away.
"You have seen Yancy three times and Chuck once," Mako says finally, after a long moment of silence. "Both during your stupidity in Dr. Geiszler and Dr. Gottlieb's lab." She glares at Raleigh when he opens his mouth to protest and he subsides. "You saw Yancy during our difficulties with Gipsy's first test. And earlier, in the hospital after Knifehead."
"And on the beach," Raleigh says. "I thought… I thought I saw Yancy on the beach, after I piloted Gipsy back to shore. But… most of those hours after Yancy died are kind of a blur in my memory, so I've never been really sure."
Mako nods. "Four times, then," she says. Her faces crunches up in contemplation. "I wonder…" she says.
"Mako?" Raleigh asks after a moment of silence.
Mako blinks back into awareness.
"Wha—My apologies," she says. "I was thinking about our problem."
"Any solutions?" Raleigh asks.
"Perhaps," Mako says. "In all four times that you have seen the ghosts, you have been near the brink of death, and each of those situations has involved Jaeger technology. Perhaps that is the combination that allows you to pull back the veil."
"So… what you're saying is that I need to nearly kill myself in a Jaeger to have any chance of proving this theory?"
Mako shakes her head. "Yes and no," she says. "We could… simulate those conditions without putting you in undue danger."
Raleigh raises his eyebrows. "And how exactly would we manage that?" he asks.
"A solo Drift," Mako says.
"A solo— Mako, that's one of those things that fries your brain. That doesn't sound at all controlled to me. And it's certainly dangerous."
"But it can be controlled," Mako insists, leaning forwards. "In a simulator. By carefully control the amount of neural load a pilot is under we can simulate the neural stress of a solo Drift without the danger. If there are any problems, we simply reduce the load."
"You've done this before?" Raleigh asks.
Mako nods, then shrugs. "The technology was developed in the later days of the program. I believe they were trying to find a way to try pilots for solo Drifting. It was shelved, along with many other projects, when the rest of the program was shut down. There is a simulator in the storage rooms on level 6."
Raleigh sighs and nods. "So, we could actually do this," he says.
Mako nods. "We could try," she says.
The two sit in silence for a moment.
"Well," Raleigh says finally, "there's only one thing to do now."
"We must speak with the Marshall," Mako says.
"Absolutely not," Herc says, his voice implacable.
Sitting in chairs across from his desk, Mako and Raleigh glance at each other with startled expressions. At the back of the room, Chuck winces.
It had been going well, too, he thinks.
Raleigh and Mako had presented their case clearly and concisely. His dad had been tough to convince, clearly believing that Raleigh was still suffering from his earlier accident and that Mako was either humouring her co-pilot or caught in a very nasty Ghost Drift.
But the more they talked, the more Chuck could see that his dad wanted to believe.
Chuck couldn't blame him. If the situation had been reversed, if it had been his dad who died and him who'd been left behind, and someone had told him there was a chance the spirit of his dad had lived on and he could communicate with him… Chuck would have been willing to believe anything for that little bit of hope.
Herc had been willing to believe, if not fully, Raleigh and Mako. He had been willing to entertain their desire to attempt to prove their theory.
Right until the moment that they had mentioned the solo Drift.
"Marshall," Mako begins, "we believe this could enable us to communicate with—"
"I understand what you believe," Herc interjects. "The answer is no."
"Even if it's true?" Raleigh asks, leaning forwards. "Even if this is the only way to communicate with Chuck ever again?"
"Even then," Herc says, then sighs. "Look, I know what you believe. I want to believe it too. And I want there to be a way to talk to Chuck and Yancy and… anyone else who's died but might still be with us." He swallows hard. Chuck doesn't need the Drift to know that Herc is thinking about Chuck's mom.
"But they're dead," Herc continues. "They're dead and I'm not going to risk the lives of my only surviving pilots on a technology we know almost nothing about, that's never been properly tested, in the hope that maybe we can communicate with someone who's already dead."
"Marshall—" Raleigh says.
"No Raleigh," Herc says, gently this time. "I can't… I can't lose any more people. The answer is no."
"But what if we are right—" Mako says urgently.
"Then we have time," Herc says. "They're already dead. We have time to find another way. A safer way."
Raleigh and Mako both look mutinous and Herc must recognize their expressions because his face hardens and he glares at them. The Marshall again, not the fellow pilot and friend.
"The answer is no," he repeats. "Dismissed."
Raleigh's face twists and Mako's mouth firms, but neither of them makes any further arguments. They stand together and walk silently from the room. The door slams behind them, making Yancy and Chuck jump. Herc just slumps behind his desk, suddenly looking a whole lot older and smaller.
Yancy turns to head after Raleigh. "You coming?" he asks when Chuck doesn't move.
Chuck shakes his head. "I think I'm going to spend a little time with my old man," he says.
Yancy shrugs. "You know where to find me later," he says.
Chuck nods but Yancy is already sauntering through the closed door. Chuck turns back towards his father to see that the old man is slumped forwards at his desk, head resting in his hands. His father looks small and defeated, and it breaks Chuck's heart to see him this way.
He finds he can't be angry at his old man for denying him the chance to tell someone that he's still alive, to maybe save himself before it was too late.
Herc is dealing with his own grief and it's tearing him apart.
Chuck doesn't want to be the cause of more grief.
He crosses the room in long strides and lays one ghostly hand on his father's shoulder. Herc shivers at the contact and his head comes up from his hands.
"Chuck?" he says.
Chuck stifles a small noise of pain at the sight of his father's tear-stained face. "Yeah dad," he says, voice choked, "I'm here."
Herc wipes away the tears with one hand. It's a heart-wrenchingly childish gesture, and Chuck wants to wrap his arms around his dad and hang on, the way he hasn't done since those grief-stricken days after his mother died.
Herc looks around and almost seems to settle his gaze on Chuck.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," he says in an undertone, then draws a deep breath.
"Chuck," he says, "if you're here, if you can hear me, I just want you to know that…" He stops, choked up, and can't seem to figure out what to say. "Aw hell," he goes on finally, "you know I'm terrible at this."
Chuck laughs wetly. "Me too dad," he says.
"I just… It's not that I don't want to see you again," his dad says earnestly. "God, I'd like nothing more than to see you again. But… you're gone. And as much as I want to say a proper goodbye… I can't… I can't risk Raleigh's life or Mako's. I can't be that selfish. I hope you don't think that I… that you… mean less to me, because of that."
Chuck's mouth twists into a wry smile. "I know dad," he says. "I don't… I know that you… Aw hell, I know that you love me, okay."
"I wish… we could have said goodbye," Herc says. "Properly, and not whatever the hell that was."
Chuck laughs and shakes his head. "That was us being us dad," he says. "I knew what you were trying to say."
"I should have just said it," Herc whispers. "Why didn't I just say it?"
"I knew dad," Chuck says. "I knew."
"I love you," Herc whispers, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.
Chuck sniffs and blinks his wet eyes. "I love you too," he says.
Herc puts his head back in his hands and Chuck withdraws, fleeing through the steel bulkhead.
It's ironic, he thinks as he wipes the tears from his own eyes, that the best conversation my dad and I have had in years happens when one of us was almost-dead and the other couldn't hear half the conversation.
The thought makes him laugh and cry at the same time.
By the time Chuck goes to find Yancy a few hours later, he's feeling thoroughly wrung out. He'd like to sleep for a week, but he's afraid that if he puts his head down for even a second, he'll wake up in his escape pod. Or worse, not wake up at all.
Chuck sighs as he slips through Raleigh's door, wondering if he should be worried that he's stopped finding this ghost thing weird.
"You're just in time," Yancy says, glancing up as Chuck emerges into the room.
"In time? For what?" Chuck asks, blinking in surprise.
Then he has to take a hasty step backwards as Raleigh almost walks right through him.
He sidles around the room and over to Yancy, who's perched out of the way on Raleigh's bed.
He grins up at Chuck. "I'd tell you to sit," he says, "but I don't think we'll be here much longer."
"What's going on?" Chuck asks.
Yancy sighs and his expression when he looks over at Raleigh is both fond and annoyed.
"My brother is about to do something stupid. Brave and totally necessary, but stupid."
"Wha—" Chuck starts, then sees Raleigh slide out of the small washroom attached to his bunk.
Raleigh has exchanged his typical fuzzy knit sweater for an old Gipsy Danger bomber jacket. His expression is grim and determined. There's something… harder… about him. Less former-retired-soldier and more heroic-saviour-of-the-world.
Chuck blinks, open-mouthed and stunned. This is the first time he's seen Raleigh looking like the hero pilot and soldier he was before Knifehead and is again. Even dressed in his drive suit coming home in victory from defeating Otachi and Leatherback or preparing to leave on Operation Pitfall, there had been a sadness about Raleigh, a stillness and hesitance that made him seem smaller and lesser to Chuck. There's nothing small about him now.
Chuck has never been more turned on in his entire life.
Yancy makes a choked sound next to thim, and Chuck thinks for a panicked second that he might have said that last bit out loud. But when he glances at Yancy's face, the older pilot's expressed is both stunned and pained. Yancy glances over and seess Chuck's questionning expression, and says, "The jacket. We used to wear them. Before Knifehead. Raleigh hasn't worn his since."
"And he's wearing it now," Chuck says, something tight in his chest.
"No," Yancy says. "He's wearing mine."
Raleigh pauses in the middle of the room, takes a deep breath, and squares his shoulders. He lets the breath out, then pulls open the door and steps quietly into the hallway. Yancy and Chuck don't even glance at each other before stepping out after him.
They follow Raleigh through the Shatterdome's corridors, down into the lower levels, towards the labs and the storage rooms.
"Where is he going?" Chuck demands.
"If I'm right," Yancy says, "we should be there soon."
Chuck glances at the older pilot in surprise.
"Where do you think he's going?" he asks.
Yancy just shakes his head.
Raleigh rounds the corridor in front of them corner in front of them, with Chuck and Yancy only a few steps behind him. When they come around the corner, they see that Raleigh has disappeared into a storage room off the right side of the corridor.
Yancy goes in after him without pause, but Chuck hesitates for a second. The room is dark and Chuck has a feeling of pressure, that something pivotal is about to happen, something there's no coming back from.
Then he shakes himself and goes through the door.
The room is dimly lit, but there's a soft light coming from somewhere near the back. Chuck follows the light through the maze of storage crates until he comes out into an open area in the back of the room. Yancy is standing off to one side, but Chuck barely notices, his attention taken entirely by the giant shape in front of him.
It looks like the giant head of a Jaeger, but not one that Chuck has ever seen before. Raleigh is standing in front of it, feet braced and arms crossed in front of his chest.
"How did you know?" he asks, and for a moment Chuck thinks Raleigh's talking to him and Yancy.
Then Mako slips into the dim light, stepping out from inside the Conn Pod.
"I know you," she says. "And… it is what I would do."
Raleigh chuckles and his shoulders loosen.
"You going to stop me?" he asks.
Mako shakes her head. "Even if I wanted to," she says, "which I don't, I know you would find some other way. Perhaps a more dangerous way. Better that I am here to help." She pauses and smiles mischievously. "And supervise."
Raleigh makes a noise of protest, but the tension has fled from his shoulders and his posture is relaxed and open. When he sidles to one side, Chuck sees that Raleigh is smiling.
"Shall we begin?" Mako asks.
Raleigh nods and Check asks in confusion, "What are—"
Then stops.
Because Raleigh has stripped off his jacket and his shirt and is pulling off his pants. And underneath his clothes is the light fabric, mesh, and delicate computer network of the drive suit's under-layer.
Mako is dragging the rest of the drive suit from a duffle on the floor by the Conn Pod
Chuck stares blankly at them for a moment before he figures out what's going on. "That's the simulator," he says. "They're going to try a solo Drift."
When he looks over, Yancy is nodding at him.
"Yeah," he says, "they are."
"But why?" Chuck asks.
He's resigned himself to being trapped like this, to dying in his escape pod at the bottom of the ocean and being trapped as a ghost forever.
He's not sure how to handle Raleigh and Mako being willing to defy his father, the Marshall, and risk their lives for him.
He glances over at Yancy in helpless confusion.
Yancy's expression softens to gentle understanding. "That's who he is," he says gently.
Chuck blinks and turns back to watch Raleigh and Mako. Mako has managed to help Raleigh into the rest of the drive suit. She steps back to stare at Raleigh critically, her expression firm.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asks.
Raleigh gives her a raised eyebrow and an incredulous look.
Mako ducks her head, smiling. "It seemed like the right thing to do," she says, "to confirm."
Raleigh gives her a wry grin and a nod.
"Let's do this," he says.
Together they step into the simulator, Chuck and Yancy only a few steps behind them.
"Do you want to try a regular Drift first?" Raleigh asks, as they step into the open space that simulates the Jaeger hook-ups inside the Conn Pod.
Mako hesitates, then shakes her head.
"Once we turn on the simulator and begin accessing power, I do not know how long we will have before we are discovered. At which point…"
"The Marshall will come down here to shout at us and make us stop," Raleigh finishes.
Mako nods.
"Alright then," Raleigh says. "First shot, full burn."
"I believe we will have time to begin at slightly less than a full connection," Masko says reprovingly.
"Mako—" Raleigh starts.
"I do not wish to fry your brain on the first test," Mako says. "Then I will have to train a new co-pilot and I am already busy enough."
Raleigh laughs, but goes where Mako directs him.
Chuck and Yancy settle themselves near the front of the simulator, out of the way, but in a perfect position to see Raleigh (and be seen by him, if this happens to work).
Mako hooks Raleigh up to the simulator, then goes to control panel built into the wall. She begins to the procedure to start up the simulator, then hesitates and turns back to Raleigh.
"How do we know our ghosts are here?" she says anxiously.
"We don't. Not for sure," Raleigh says, shaking his head. "But… I think they might be." Then he grins at Mako, that wry, lop-sided grin that makes Chuck's heart beat faster. "Besides, where else would they go? This is where all the action is. We're clearly the most interesting thing in the entire Dome."
Mako smiles and laughs.
"Brat," Yancy says fondly, shaking his head.
The control panel beeps, indicating that the simulator is online and ready to be engaged
"Are you ready?" Mako asks. Raleigh nods and turns to the control panel.
"We will begin at 50 per cent neural load," she says. She sets the simulator's controls.
Raleigh braces himself and closes his eyes. Chuck and Yancy can clearly see when the simulator engages. Raleigh's whole body goes tense and he draws in a shaky breath. Monitors flicker to life at the front of the simulator, switching rapidly between scenery. The simulator, designed to train pilots to solo Drift against the Kaiju, is trying to select a scenario. Mako reaches over to kill the scenario but Raleigh waves her off with a sharp gesture.
"Leave it," he says. "Got to have some sort of interaction."
Mako nods
Raleigh manages to open his eyes, but his limbs are trembling and he's squinting as if in pain. His gaze drifts around the room, but stops on the corner where Chuck and Yancy are standing. His face scrunches up and he blinks rapidly, as if trying to clear blurred vision.
Yancy straightens up beside Chuck and takes a step forwards.
"Raleigh?" he says, wary but hopeful.
Raleigh cocks his head, straining as if trying to hear something from a great distance.
"Raleigh?" Mako asks.
Raleigh grits his teeth and shakes his head. "There's something there," he says, strained, "but I can't... it's just… out of reach." He pauses, then "Turn it up."
"Raleigh," Mako says hesitantly, "your readings are already showing considerable strain. It may be too dangerous—"
"I know," Raleigh says gently. "Do it anyway."
Their gazes meet and Mako studies Raleigh for a long moment before nodding.
"Alright," she says. Raleigh grits his teeth and braces himself as Mako turns the simulator up to 100 per cent neural load. As the increased load hits him, he staggers and squeezes his eyes shut
"Raleigh!" Mako says, starting forwards and sounding alarmed.
"I'm fine, I'm okay," Raleigh manages to get out.
He cracks his eyes open, looking like even that small action was painful. He blinks, gaze flitting around the simulator, before snapping back to Yancy and Chuck.
"Yancy," he whispers.
Both Chuck and Yancy blink.
"I think… I think he sees us," Chuck says tentatively.
Yancy nods, mute.
"Raleigh," Chuck says, "can you hear us?"
Raleigh's mouth opens and his face twists. "I can't…" he says. "Mako, they're right there, they're there and I can't. I can barely see them. I can't hear them." He sounds pleading.
Mako shakes her head silently, tears in her eyes, and glances helplessly at the control panel.
There's nothing more she can do.
"Chuck," Yancy says softly, "You have to join the Drift."
Chuck glances at Yancy sharply, "Join the…? How exactly do you expect me to join the Drift? What could that do?"
Yancy shakes his head silently and nudges Chuck forwards. "You'll know," he says.
"But you… don't you want to…?"
Yancy shakes his head, smiling ruefully. "Kid, I've got all the time in the world," he says. "I'm dead. You're not. And as much as I like you, I'd rather not have our acquaintance become permanent."
Chuck ducks his head and nods, then squares his shoulders and steps hesitantly towards Raleigh. He doesn't know how exactly Yancy expects him to join the Drift, but he finds that as he gets closer he can almost see… something… energy of some sort gathered around Raleigh. He's not sure what prompts him to do it. It feels almost like his limbs aren't his own. He puts his hands on either side of Raleigh's face and presses their foreheads together.
The vibrating energy around Raleigh envelops Chuck too…
…and he's falling, falling into the Drift.
It's not like any Drift he's ever had with his father.
Raleigh's memories are indistinct, barely perceptible. It's a roiling mass of confusion and tumbling emotions and flashes of imagery.
Chuck needs to find something to hang onto, something that will let him connect.
A memory goes by, and he's looking out into a dark night and driving rain as a Kaiju bears down on him, nothing between him and the monster but open sky. He thinks he's back in Hong Kong harbour with his dad, but the Kaiju isn't Leatherback. It's bulkier, with a sharp pointed head.
Knifehead, he realizes, at the same movement something (not him) reaches out his arm and moves his mouth, and he (Raleigh) is shouting "Yancy!", shocked and grief-stricken into the rainy night.
The memory starts to slip away, but Chuck's grabs at it with all his strength.
This is it, the connection.
He uses Raleigh's pain to draw out his own, one pilot to another, both losing their co-pilots. He gives Raleigh his fear when his dad slams against the side of Striker Eureka's Conn Pod; the awkward grief of their last goodbye; the desolation of knowing he and Pentecost couldn't do it, couldn't accomplish their mission; the determination not to fail; the pain of those last moments in Striker Eureka.
He feels the Drift solidify and some of the neural load Raleigh is bearing slams into Chuck. It's enough to send Chuck to his metaphorical knees, but he hangs on. He can feel Raleigh's confusion, his desire to know, why Chuck and not Yancy.
Chuck slams through that confusion, the bleary question to grab onto Raleigh's core. He imagines reaching out and gripping the other pilot tight, shaking him, and making him pay attention.
Listen to me! I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm alive I'm alive I'malive! Please. Please, listen to me! I'm alive!
He feels Raleigh's attention focus on him.
Chuck?
His own strength is failing. He shoves everything he has at Raleigh. Waking up alone in the Shatterdome. Being alone. No one seeing, hearing, feeling him. Yancy. The dark place, the nightmares. The escape pod, damaged and trapped at the bottom of the ocean.
Here. I'm here. I'm alive, I'm here. Please.
He stumbles backwards, dragged out of the Drift. Yancy catches his shoulders, but he can't stay on his feet and he's sinking to the ground. His vision is going blurry and he feels cold and pain. There's a two-toned alarm blaring in his ears and over it he can hear shouting.
He blinks back to awareness, but can barely get his surroundings to come into focus.
Yancy's holding him upright and watching Chuck's face. "You okay?" he asks as he wavers back into focus. He looks concerned.
Chuck manages to nod, then realizes what a bad idea that was when his head explodes with pain.
"Raleigh?" he asks, voice hoarse and scratchy.
Yancy tips his head towards the other side of the room. Chuck follows his gaze and sees Raleigh braced on his hands and knees, kept upright by Mako's supporting hold. He's vomiting on the floor of the simulator, shaking like a leaf.
The shouting Chuck hears is Herc. His father is standing over Raleigh and Mako, yelling about irresponsibility, and dangerous stunts, and "ground you for life," as a medic crouches down next to Raleigh.
The medic helps Raleigh sit propped against the wall of the simulator. Chuck realizes with an unpleasant jolt that the liquid dripping from Raleigh's face is blood. It's running freely from his nose and oozing out from one of his ears. There's blood on his chin too, coating his lips red.
"He's alive," Raleigh says, his voice hoarse.
All sound in the room stops.
"What did you say?" Herc says. It's his quiet, dangerous voice. Chuck hasn't heard it since his Uncle Scott left.
"He's alive," Raleigh says, head tipped back against the wall. He opens his eyes and meets Herc's gaze. "Chuck. He's alive."
His dad makes a sound that Chuck can't interpret, and he doesn't have time. The world is blacking out around him and Yancy's hold starts to feel indistinct, like mist and water vapour.
Raleigh's eyes meet his across the room.
"Hang on," Raleigh says. "Chuck, hang on. We're coming for you."
And then the blackness and pressure closes in over Chuck's head and he's gone.
