Ok guys. Here's chapter 2 of Let go. I had a little bit of a hard time writing this chapter so I'm sorry if it seems a little boring, or if it's under-detailed or short. I'm going to try to start updating maybe every 3-5 days if the reviews continue to go well and stuff. So far they have been great, so thank you! I didn't expect to get any for my first story here. Next time I update, my writing will probably improve form this chapter. This was kind of just a fluff for next chapter.
Disclaimer: I own a bunch of converse… But not Degrassi.
My heart was racing. Tears were falling from my eyes rapidly, and my head was pounding. I hated having these dreams. I couldn't stand them. They were always the same.
I would be fighting with my sister Darcy, screaming at her over something I could never remember after I woke up. She would run out of the house, but when I go to follow her, she's nowhere in sight. Then I run into the house, searching for her frantically, trying to find her. Every time I get to her door, it's open. Every time, I walk in. And every time, I see my sister, covered in blood and lying on the floor lifeless.
Then I wake up.
I cry because it's my fault she's gone. I'm so angry with myself for not being there to stop her. I'm furious that those people treated her so badly. I hate myself for being one of those people. After she was raped, I got so jealous because she gained all the attention from everyone. They began treating her like a princess, and it heated me to the core. If her stomach growled, my mother would immediately make her a sandwich. But what I hated the most was that they never hit her like they hit me. I took my anger out on her by doing anything from shredding her homework when she slept, to letting the dog pee on her blankets a couple hours before she went to bed and not telling her.
I looked over at my clock, realizing it was still about an hour before I had to wake up for school. After my mom locked me in my room, the rest of my weekend was pretty much spent with me sleeping and eating the box of cheerios I hid under my bed for when my mother was angry like this. My back was still killing me, but it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it did yesterday.
I slowly rolled over onto my side and grabbed the pair of scissors from my night stand drawer. I could feel an anxiety attack coming on from my extremely stressful dream, but my medication was down stairs. The towel I had been using Saturday to help my back stop bleeding was still lying on the floor next to my bed, so I carefully picked it up, trying not to move around too much. I didn't want to wake up my mom and make her suspicious. As soon as I had in in my hands, I laid it across my lap, being sure to cover my light blue bed sheets.
I opened the pair of scissors and held one blade in my hand while I pressed the other to my ankle. The anxiety was starting to overpower me and my chest felt like it was going to explode. My breaths came in short gasps, trying with all my might to relieve the horrible pressure in my chest as my body slowly suffocated itself. I closed my eyes and pressed the cold blade I wasn't holding to my ankle, and applied pressure until I could feel blood begin to seep down my foot. The moment the blood hit the rag, I dragged it to the back of my heel, creating one big cut across the side of my foot, making sure I didn't penetrate deeper than I needed to.
My nerves began to calm, and I was able to regain the ability to breath at a steady pace. I felt tears prick in the corners of my eyes, so I opened them and let them roll down my cheeks.
I looked down at my newest wound, and pressed the rag to it before hobbling off my bed into the bathroom. Because cutting was such a regular thing for me, I had gauze in my drawer to wrap it up. As I was unraveling the roll of gauze, I swore I could hear my bedroom window open, but brushed it off figuring it was just paranoia. Then I heard a thump. This time I knew for a fact that I wasn't just hearing things. My heart rate shot through the roof as I thought of all the scenarios that could happen to me. I need to remind myself to stop watching all those gore/horror movies.
The bathroom door was open, but my room was still dark. I peered up through my bangs, and saw a figure stumbling around my room.
"Clare…? Clare!"
I immediately relaxed hearing Bianca's raspy voice try to whisper my name. How she even had a voice after the drinking she did this weekend I don't understand.
I didn't want to answer to her though. If she saw me with a roll of gauze and a bloody ankle (which was now burning like hell), she would for sure lecture me about hurting myself and breaking my vow not to do it again, and I didn't need that right now.
Suddenly a harsh sigh coming from the other side of the room snapped me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to see Bianca's dark silhouette moving back over to the window and jumping out of it into the tree like a pro. Thank God I didn't bother turning on the bathroom light when I came in here, or else I would have been doomed to a huge Dr. Phil lecture from her if she saw me.
As soon as I heard my window close, I moved over and closed the bathroom door and locked it before turning the light on to see better.
I quickly wrapped the wound, and wobbled out and back over to the nightstand next to the bed to check the time. I was so close to skipping today and just going to the Dot, but I had to go because I had a huge test in English.
As I thought about the test, my thoughts drifted to the boy who sits in front of me in that class. His name is Elijah Goldsworthy, and he is the most charming boy probably at Degrassi. He's got dark, raven colored hair, tan skin, and eyes greener than the grass of my front yard. I guess you could sum him up with anything under the context of immensely attractive.
He would never go for me though. He's a religious church boy, and I am far from holy. I am nowhere near it. Sometimes I lie to myself and say that I have some kind of chance, but in reality, I know it's not true in the least.
XXXXXXX
I made my way up the steps of Degrassi, puffing out a long sigh before making my way into the main hall. This school made me sick. I didn't bother going by my locker, knowing I didn't even care enough today to try and make a good grade in any of my classes.
I looked around, trying to find Bianca, but she wasn't in sight. I moved over to the empty bench in front of the window and pulled out my phone.
Bianca! Where the hell are you! I'm on the bench in the main hall. Haul some ass. Now!
Clare
I waited for her text back, impatiently tapping my foot and trying to find her big, black poufy hair. Nothing. As my eyes traveled the room, a dark haired boy caught my eye. I zeroed in on him like a target, watching him talk with some buddies. Just his appearance made me believe there could be some kind of God up there, who had blessed the world with the presence of this gorgeous guy. If I didn't keep my jaw clenched, I think I might have drooled and humiliated myself in the middle of the huge crowd of people.
The bell rang, and everyone quickly dispersed, heading to their first class for the day. I was so glad I had English first, so that I could admire Eli for a whole nother hour, and beyond pissed off that Bianca didn't show.
XXXXXXX
I was the last to get to class, of course, so when I walked in, everyone immediately knew who it was. Most of these people I didn't even know, so I just glared daggers until they turned back to their notebooks.
"Ms. Edwards, welcome back. Would you mind taking a seat so the rest of the class can focus on their education?"
Now everyone's eyes were glued to me, so I just scoffed and slid into my desk. As soon as my butt planted in the seat, I inhaled and let out a deep breath before opening my notebook to doodle and look productive.
Mrs. Dawes began to pass around the tests, and I was so consumed with making my little snow man's hat that I had been drawing perfect, that I didn't even notice Eli trying to hand me my test.
Out of nowhere, I felt a warm hand cover the one I was using to doodle, and I looked up to see Eli chuckling at my surprise. He handed me my test paper, and I felt like I was going to melt. He smelled like Axe body spray, and now that I could see him close up, I noticed his hair was extra nice today. I couldn't help but stare.
He chuckled again before muttering a good luck, and turning back around in his seat. I don't think any other boy has the ability to reduce me to pudding like that with simply a small touch like that. I stared at the paper and read the first question, but couldn't get my mind to focus. I mean, how could I now? All hopes of my passing this test just went down the drain, because the only thing that was going to be on my mind for the next hour was him.
That was a weak ending, but like I said this is just a fluff chapter for chapter 3. Reviews are very much appreciated and needed to continue this story so click that review button! (Pretty please!)
