7. One's Times.

Chapter One

The Power of a Rose

There are times on the run up to her graduation when Sei treats the whole school like her personal playground. This is when Yumi realises just how much power the Yamayurikai can wield, if they choose to, amongst the student body and faculty alike. If she is honest with herself, she had been vaguely aware of it. Every first year comes into the high school division, those who have come up through Lillian anyway, have the image of the Roses already as a part of their vernacular. The school newsletter made it to the other divisions as well. Yumi had always known of the high school student council. Maybe not the particulars, but the legend of them casts a long shadow. Little did she think she would be a part of that legend. But the idol-like buzz that trails in the Rosa's wakes is more than the youthful adoration of excitable teenage girls. Indeed, Yumi had had a taste of it with Sachiko, even before she was a member of the Yamayurikai. Sachiko had unleashed a little of that Ogasawara haughtiness on a teacher, when the teacher, a former student herself, and still quite taken with the gossip of the school, had asked about the presence of both of them together, when Yumi had already turned down Sachiko. Yumi had been struck at the time that there was probably no one else in the school who could have done that. She was wrong on that point. There were three other girls who could, and on occasion did, the same things. They are Yamayurikai, and rarely need to explain themselves. To anybody it seems. The Order are the directors, the teachers are the advisers, but the Yamayurikai run the students, and everything that involves. It was a valuable lesson.

For instance, Yumi finds that class skipping is completely permissible if, say, Rosa Gigantea should require her assistance with some matter. Which Rosa Gigantea did at least three times a week, especially when Yumi began insisting that she spend some of her lunch breaks with Yoshino. Sei, shortly after this announcement from Yumi began commandeering meeting rooms and various unused clubrooms, speaking with Yumi's teachers and her own with very probable and convincing excuses for their regular absences. This is causing its own set of problems, mostly in the shape of Yoshino's unending curiosity and mild jealousy that she is not as required as Yumi. It worries Yumi, because it is a matter of time before Yoshino connects the dots, if she has not already. Sei, with her new found sense of frivolousness of someone about to be done with high school, does not worry so much over these things.

But there is work to be done. Oh, is there work to be done. They are part of the student council after all, and everyday has something, new or routine, that requires their attention. In these meeting rooms, clubrooms, i's get dots and t's get their crosses, in a manner of speaking. This is usually done before or after Yumi reacquaints herself with Sei's brand of desperate passion. As doors are locked, if they have locks, or blinds lowered, if they have any, she looses herself in scorching kisses and demanding hands. She and Sei test the sturdiness of various pieces of furniture and each other in these school buildings.

Not that Sei is alone in the instigation of these meetings. As graduation approaches, every day slipping by, dragging the future closer, Yumi feels an increasing need for Sei. If she cannot touch her, then she wants to see her, be near her. Yumi recognises that she is falling into the trap of missing Sei before she is actually gone, and tries to fight against it. Sometimes, while in the Rose Mansion, with others or alone, she looks over at Sei, she looks and loves the simple lines of her uniform on her body. Loves the way the light catches her face, and realises that time is running short to see her like this, in this place, this often, in this uniform. She wants to reach for Sei, hold onto her, and with all her might, shift time and space, to keep them this way, their arms around each other, Sei's sexy, wicked smile just for her. And then Yumi realises that she is panicking and calms down a little. Yet the strength of the wish remains, like the haunting lilt of a song, the substance of which is unknown and remains stubbornly out of reach.

It is in these moments that Yumi is at her weakest. When her sense of decorum falls away, when she just wants to be with Sei, and she does not care who else needs them. All thoughts of Sachiko and Shimako, especially, who must be going through a hard time also, slip from her mind. It is at times like these that she redirects these longings and wishes into lust and she cannot contain it. If she can, she actively seeks Sei out, even going to the third year's floor and asking for her, and if Sei can get away, she follows Yumi where ever Yumi leads her. Yumi leads her to corners of seclusion or empty classrooms, and she holds onto Sei. And Sei's tall form bends like a reed in a river and holds onto Yumi in turn, caving, it seems, to Yumi's unspoken disquiet. Yumi knows she should feel selfish, wanting Sei all to herself, but she cannot help it. Yumi rests her face on Sei's shoulder at these times, on the soft fabric of her uniform, and breathes in the scent of it and Sei.

At these times, she tells Sei how much she loves her, stretching up on her tiptoes to kiss Sei, and accept a kiss in return, and then Yumi feels as if she can continue with her day. And at these times, if they happen to be in a very quiet place, the kisses are more intense, and Yumi pulls at Sei's uniform, wanting the girl underneath. At these times, these weak moments, Sei is passive, giving Yumi whatever she wants. At these times, Sei is so gentle, her touch so soft a thing, barely felt as Yumi pulls up her skirt, and slips her hand into Sei's underwear. These fast bouts of lovemaking against walls in empty classrooms, where Yumi imprints herself on Sei, wants to carry the feel and smell of Sei on her until they meet again.

Yumi harbours no illusions about how their lives will change when Sei starts college and Yumi becomes an en bouton. Their lives are busy as they are. They will, of course, make time for each other, but they will never be like this. For however long they are together, these moments, these times out of time, will never come again. Sei, like Yumi, is of a mind to make them count.

There are times when Sei is particularly needy for Yumi also. She walks fast, forcing Yumi to keep up with her, talking all the while, and before Yumi knows it, she is behind a school building, and Sei is on her, and she will have her, not waiting until they are somewhere more private. Talk of Sei's graduation never comes up, but Yumi can feel it. Feel it in the tightness of Sei's embrace, in her cold hands as they slip under her uniform, the thrusts when Sei enters her, because when Sei kisses her, it does not take much to be ready for Sei's touch. No, the do not speak of it, but Yumi knows that Sei is feeling something similar. As winter deepens and they come closer to the new year, and vacation time, the hump once crossed means that the school year is nearly over. Before long it will be March and Sei will go next door to the college.

When Sei told her where she finally decided to go to college, Yumi was overjoyed and disappointed. While Sei would be at most a fifteen minute walk from her, Yumi felt Sei could have done better. There is nothing wrong with Lillian college, but the opportunities it offers are limited. Yumi thought that Sei would go to University of Tokyo. God knows, she has the smarts. Yet Sei is content with her choice and that is the main thing, telling Yumi that there is nothing wrong with Lillian's English Lit. department, that it is just as good as anyone else's. And besides, this way she is close to her Yumi-chan and Shimako. This was said with a laugh. Yumi wonders at deeper reasons, but any time she broaches the subject, Sei derails her, softening it with a smile and a hug. At times like these, Sei's secretiveness is irritating, but she respects Sei's privacy on the matter. Despite their growing relationship, Yumi has learned something very important about Sei: there are certain times when she can ask certain questions, and times when she cannot. She does not hold this against Sei. It is a part of her personality, and Yumi leaves it alone. She has no fear of Sei's anger, as Sei has never been particularly angry or sharp with her. What they went through with Sachiko was the closest she came to feeling the heat of that from Sei, and she thought she would see more, yet she did not. She has no curiosity about it, and is not the type to provoke.

Yumi is, at this very moment, looking at Sei in the Rose Mansion. They are looking at some end of year reports from the clubs, and everybody is present for this, even the seniors who are contending with examinations for third level. They are here more in a supervisory role than actively participating, however, honestly, they can let go of these duties now, and let their en boutons take over. But Youko, being Youko, is making sure everybody knows what they are doing, and that the transition will be as smooth and painless as possible. Sei, Yumi knows, is anxious about Shimako, and wants to give her as much support as she can. And Eriko, well, she just wants to join in. If she has any concerns about Rei, she is keeping them to herself. Yet she is here, and perhaps that says it all. Today, she and Sei have been together twice, and Yumi's thighs are sore, and she cannot stop smiling. She gazes at Sei, unable to stop reminiscing, unable to bring herself to think of anything but Sei. Every so often she switches her gaze to what she is supposed to be looking at, but the words make no sense to her right now. She is not worried, though. Both Sei and Sachiko have been attentive teachers, and she understands what will be required of her when she becomes an en bouton herself next year.

She is thinking about Sei's anger, which seems to show itself as sarcasm, or facetiousness. Yumi has seen her bitchy and venomous with Kashiwagi, for whom she holds a distinct distaste for, for her own reasons. Yumi has seen her deliberately annoy and provoke Youko and Sachiko, especially when that bored look comes over her face. This does not work on Eriko, who knows that a reaction is a victory and decides always to mock Sei on a more personal level. Yumi has once heard Eriko cast aspersions on Sei's sexuality, and her obviously frustrated state evident in her molestation of her juniors. Yumi believes that the words Eriko actually used were: "water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink". This left Sei smiling suggestively at Eriko, commenting that Eriko seemed unusually interested in the subject of Sei's tastes. It had gone on for a while, and for Yumi it had been like watching a tennis match. There is a grudging respect between these two combatants, and Yumi is slightly fearful of the both of them at those times. It was this vicious flirtation that defined them.

Her mind wanders to Sei's interactions with the rest of the Yamayurikai. Rei she is always pleasant with. There is little or no interaction between the two of them that she is aware of, but Rei's personality is calm, and no one could accuse Rei of consciously courting controversy. When Yoshino gave back her rosary, Sei had given Rei space and time, like the other Roses, to ask for help if she wanted it. She had expressed concern, and left herself available for Rei, but nothing more. This is not to say that Sei is above using Rei to bait Eriko at times. Yoshino might get annoyed, but Rei would remain quiet, letting the storm blow over. Yumi admires Rei's ability to control herself, to give nothing away of what she is feeling inside. But like Yoshino, she would feel that Rei did not always have to take the path of least resistance. Rei's respect for her upperclassmen is absolute, though. Yumi put it down to a martial arts thing.

Yoshino, Sei loves to tease. Sei gets a real kick out of her, as they share a similar sense of humour. However, unlike Sei, Yoshino struggles to hide her emotions, and never more so when it comes to Rei. And therefore, she is always available to be exploited by Sei, who never tires of it, and Yoshino has precious little ammunition against someone whose mind works as fast as Sei's. What she does know about Sei she would never be cruel enough to use, so she is often left floundering when Sei starts in on her. There are other times when Sei and Yoshino tag team on certain things, and peals of laughter can be heard even outside the Rose Mansion. For the most part, Yoshino can hold her own, and that is what Sei likes most about her. She wants Yoshino to be cheeky with her, to play with her. Sometimes older girls do not know when they have gone too far, sometimes Yoshino has brought it on herself, sometimes not, but Sei is good enough to apologise when she has, whatever the case, and it is unique in her relationships with people, that Sei would apologise so readily to Yoshino.

Shimako, out of all of them, is inviolate. Yumi, even now, is still a target when Sei is feeling playful, though Yumi has gotten a lot better at sparring with her, knowing her as she does now. Yoshino teases Shimako a lot. They are peers and classmates, so it is expected that there would be banter between them, and Sei might laugh, but it is always good natured. There is something about Shimako, her gentleness, her slight out-of-touch-with-reality demeanour that encourages some teasing. Her replies are usually ones of bemusement, or confoundedly cryptic in nature. Yumi, who is extraordinarily fond of Shimako, the last year having built a strong friendship between them, is not adverse to occasionally poking fun at Shimako. Just as her demeanour encourages teasing, that same demeanour discourages being cruel. The joking will be light and gentle, nothing too serious, as if it would be a crime to upset such a lovely girl. Not that Shimako is incapable of defending herself. She can often fire off a one line reply that will leave Sei choking on her tea and Yumi creased in laughter at the look on Yoshino's face. But she saves them for special occasions, it seems. Sei never teases her, never mocks her, rarely touches her. But does not defend her either.

Looking up from her ma-jong club report, she looks at Shimako, sitting beside Sei, paying close attention to what Sei is saying to her. Yumi smiles. She loves Shimako, and hopes that they will always be friends. Of all the Yamayurikai, Shimako was the one to protect her. She stood up for her, and was honest and straight forward with her. They spent a lot of time with each other. Shimako's company is very refreshing, and already, Yumi cannot imagine her days without the girl. As she looks at Shimako, she feels a great fondness pass through her. Which makes what she is doing with Sei feel like a betrayal. Sei told her not to worry about Shimako, but Yumi and Shimako are friends, and now Yumi carries a weight in her heart when it comes to Shimako. There are times when Shimako looks at her, and she seems to know that Yumi is not saying something. Shimako will be quiet and wait, at certain moments in their conversations. But Yumi will also stay quiet, feeling very unsure. She wants Shimako to ask, but knows she will not. Sometimes this is a relief, sometimes it is a torment. At other times, Yumi thinks nothing at all, and the moment passes, as if it meant nothing, just another companionable silence between people who are comfortable with each other. But the amount of times Sei has requested Yumi lately cannot have escaped Shimako's notice any more than they did Yoshino's.

Yumi shakes her head, and goes back to her report, trying to push all the other thoughts from her head and focus. With a massive effort, and pretending she cannot hear Sei's voice, she succeeds, and time passes quickly. Quickly, indeed it does, and the days tumble past, and reports are no longer an issue, Christmas comes, the New Year comes, and they are skidding into March. Yumi feels bereft, and while she is happy for everyone to be graduating, she is sad. She is not alone in this. Many girls are saying goodbye to beloved Onee-samas, and Sachiko has been quiet for the last month. Yumi tries to do what she can, but Sachiko is rejecting her. It hurt for a while, but she empathises with her Onee-sama, and knows that she does not mean it. Youko is such a powerful figure in Sachiko's life, that Sachiko is struggling to come to terms with the loss of her. She will never be more than a phone call away, but this is not much consolation, when the person who's face you came to rely on day in day out, is suddenly not there...It can be tough. Though Sei is only going next door, Yumi is sad. She is sad to see the Rosas, the face of the Yamayurikai she first encountered, go away, as they must. It feels like the end of an era. She will even miss Eriko.

So it is graduation day, and much to Yumi's surprise, this is the day that Shimako asks. Finally. Despite how busy they are, Shimako finds time alone with Yumi. As the walk toward the gymnasium, she asks the most direct question Yumi has ever heard her utter. Yumi answers in the affirmative. Shimako stops walking, and looks up at the sky, taking a deep breath. And it suddenly strikes Yumi how alike Sei and Shimako are. Not just their looks, both of whom whom have Western casts to their faces, their hair colour is similar also. They do stand out, the both of them. This much is obvious, but it is a deeper similarity. Both of them hide their deepest emotions, in very different ways, so it is hard to spot. They are both rogues. Both biding their time here. She looks at Yumi, finally, and smiles.

-I knew. I just wanted to hear you say it. You wanted to for so long.

Yumi wants to say something, but she has nothing. Instead, she motions to the gymnasium, and indicates that they should talk somewhere where they cannot be disturbed. Shimako nods her ascent, and they walk to the back of the gymnasium, another one of Shimako's hiding places, actually. And also, Yumi remembers, guilt flooding her system, somewhere she had sex with Sei. At this point, she thinks ruefully, it would be hard to find a place in this school where she has not had sex with Sei. They reach the back of the gymnasium, and Shimako leans against the wall. They are out of sight, and it feels private. Yumi wants to reach out to Shimako, apologise to her friend. Apologise for what, she is not sure. For not being honest, perhaps? For catching Sei's eye? For falling in love?

-Onee-sama would look at you with such longing, Yumi.

There is a wistfulness in her voice. There is a sense of hurt. A quiet hurt, from a time when Shimako realised that something had begun with Sei and Yumi. Yumi knows that Shimako had her suspicions, but had kept them to herself, waiting all this while.

-Her eyes followed you. From the start. I think...I think...That I knew. Even before you did.

Yumi is in a state of pleasant surprise. Sei had mentioned her early attraction, but Shimako phrases it in such a way that says that Sei's initial attraction was much deeper than she let on. Yumi trusts Shimako's word on this, because Shimako, like Yumi with Sachiko, is very attentive to her Onee-sama. If anyone is going to know, it is Shimako. Sei is a very self-aware person, but even she is not sure when her teasing became something more. Shimako, however, seems to know. Yumi wants to ask, the way any lover would, what she thought Sei was feeling. But she pushes away these things. Not the time.

-One morning, I looked at you and Onee-sama, and I knew something had changed. Something had happened.

Yumi leans against the wall beside Shimako, her shoulder brushing Shimako's. This is not the first time they have had a conversation in this manner, standing in a quiet place, talking of all sorts of things. Yumi hears that old hurt in Shimako's voice, and lets it in. She reaches for Shimako's hand and holds it. Shimako lets her. In fact, she entwines her fingers with Yumi's, and they both look up at the sky together. It is spring, still with an touch of cold. It would be a while yet before they put on their summer uniforms.

-She hasn't said it, but Yoshino guessed as well.

Shimako says, a touch of humour in her voice now.

-I thought as much.

Yumi answers, fetching a dramatic sigh. Shimako laughs.

-I can see it in the way she looks at you and Onee-sama. Some how, she managed to put two and two together.

-And for once, come up with the right answer. Well, discretion is not Sei's strong point. Or mine, when I'm with her.

Shimako laughs again.

-I guess love and discretion are not well acquainted.

Yumi laughs at this. They say nothing for a while. Yumi can hear the grounds alive with students, all getting ready for the last ceremony of the seniors. It reminds her that she has not seen Sei this morning. She wonders where she is. Yesterday, Yumi found her in her classroom, sitting on her desk with a distant expression. Yumi had sat in Sei's chair, and put her head on Sei's lap. They spent a long time like that. Sei told of her of her time in school. There was a sort of melancholy sentimentality lining her words, a softness to her voice that spoke of regrets and joys, of time passing. The sound of goodbye. Yumi had never heard this particular tone before, and felt that this might be the only time that she would. Sei stopped talking after a while, and Yumi sensed she should leave her alone. She stood up, kissed Sei and said she would see her later. But Yumi did not see Sei later. And she already missed her a little, but she would see her at the ceremony itself.

So, here she is now, holding hands with Shimako, wondering what comes next. She cannot imagine Shimako would dissolve their friendship, but she is ready for whatever it is. What she is not expecting is what Shimako says.

-I'm glad it's you.

Shimako says in a quieter than usual voice. Yumi lowers her head, and looks at Shimako's still raised profile.

-Why?

-Because you're stable.

Yumi, who does not look at her relationship with Sei in terms of what she gives to Sei, is immensely curious as to what Shimako means. Her silence must indicate what she is thinking, because Shimako lowers her head to meet Yumi's gaze, smiling a little.

-You're not afraid to love her. She doesn't scare you, or drive you off. You have the bravery to love Sei.

-You make her sound like a battlefield! Sei is not hard to love.

-No, not for you. That's the point.

Yumi considers Shimako's words. Sei can be hostile, hidden by humour, can seem edgy, but Yumi was never afraid of Sei. But then, as she thought over the last few months, Sei rarely shows anger to Yumi. They have bickered and squabbled with each other. They have had disagreements, and Yumi has been angry with Sei at times, but never has she felt that there was a point where it would put a dent in what is growing between them. No, Sei is not scary. Intelligent, intense, caring, sometimes cynical, very loving, astute, playful, but scary? No, definitely not.

-It may sound strange, but Sei needs stability. More than love, she needs fixed points in her life.

-Like you?

-Yes, like me. Like you.

-Like Lillian.

Shimako nods at this. Yumi thinks about this, her thoughts flickering at the speed of light as she looks into Shimako's soft eyes. Lillian, the place Sei grew up, where the events that make Sei Sei happened to her, and now Yumi knows one of the deeper reasons why Sei chose the college here. One of Sei's fixed points in time and space. Lillian, where someone like Sei, if she chose, could be nurtured and understood. When she had her heart broken, Lillian, with its soeur system, had people there to catch her, and stop Sei, passionate, emotional Sei, from falling too far. Yumi does not know about other schools, but she knows this one, and if one were to believe in destiny and fate, which Yumi is not entirely sure she does, yet at times like this, it seems within the realms of possibility, that perhaps Sei is in the best place. With people who are willing to make the effort with Sei, until Sei is ready to make the effort in return. People who are not easily deterred, people who think Sei is worth it, even if she does not.

-Do you know her, Yumi?

-I'm beginning too.

-Does she know you?

-I surprise her at least once a week.

Shimako laughs at this. She lets go of Yumi's hand, turns and hugs her. Yumi holds Shimako's petite body in her arms, marvelling at hugging someone who is the same height as her. Shimako holds back nothing in her hug, pressing herself fully against Yumi, resting her chin on Yumi's shoulder. Yumi strokes Shimako's gorgeous wavy hair, the envy of many in the school, for the first time. How many times did she want to reach out and touch it? Now, she realises, she could have just asked. Shimako, ever patient Shimako, might not have found it such a weird request. Yumi strokes her hair, and listens to Shimako breathing gently in her ear.

-I'm jealous, Yumi. You're my friend, and I don't want to lie. When I figured it out, it hurt. Of course...

A gentle sigh.

-...By the time I figured it out, my jealousy was pointless. But I want to be clear on something.

Yumi makes a sound of encouragement into Sachiko's ear.

-I'm jealous because you got closer to her that I ever could. I'm not as brave as you. And I really am glad that it's you.

The whisper of her breath tickles Yumi's ear, just as her words whisper through Yumi's heart.

-Now I can let her go. And wish you both well.

Yumi feels a confusing mix of profound relief and sadness, a mix so strong, that she can feel tears, unbidden, sting her eyes. She tightens her hold on Shimako, feeling Shimako's arms around her tighten in turn. Yumi has no problem understanding the depth of what Shimako has said to her. And she knows that she still has her friend. Yumi is not naïve enough to think that with this, Shimako's hurt will blow away like smoke in the wind, and it may take a while for Shimako to entirely forgive Yumi. Yumi wonders if Shimako is aware of this. However, she does not want to find out. Some things are better left unsaid. There is only so much Yumi can deal with right now.

-Thank you, Rosa Gigantea.

She feels Shimako stiffen in her arms. Yumi makes it real for the both of them. Satou Sei is nearly gone. Satou Sei, wanted by many, truly loved by few. And two of those few hold each other, and console each other, behind a school gymnasium, as their lives shift once more, and they grow older in each other's arms, and learn that not all things are created equally, that not all is fair, no matter what rules they try to impose on their emotions. Yumi hugs her tight one last time, and then releases Shimako. They smile at each other, standing very close to each other, and time is not their friend, and they have already borrowed more time than they can really pay back. Yumi nods her head to the front of the gymnasium, suggesting that they get going. Shimako relaxes, and turns to head back the way they came, preceding Yumi.

-I outrank you.

Shimako says over her shoulder. Yumi starts laughing.

-Since when did that matter to you?

-Since you started sleeping with my Onee-sama.

-Would that not mean that I outrank you?

-No. Of course, if you want to start sleeping with the current Rosa Gigantea...

-Shimako!

As they turn the corner they run into Rei, who is obviously looking for them. She sees them laughing, and immediately starts smiling herself.

-What happened?

She asks, looking from Yumi to Shimako.

-"Rosa Gigantea" made a lewd suggestion to me, Rei-sama.

Rei looks extremely doubtful and says as much. Shimako, the cheat, is smiling angelically, clearly working some kind of magic on Rei, who visibly softens as she looks at her. Then Rei makes shooing gestures to the both of them.

-Rei-sama, have you forgotten who Shimako's Onee-sama is?

Yumi makes a last ditch attempt to best Shimako, knowing neither Rei nor anyone else will believe her over Shimako.

-No, Yumi-chan, and I always thought of Shimako-chan as the better half.

-She totally channelled her.

Rei laughs and Yumi lets it go in the face of Shimako's victory by default of previous behaviour. It seems, that there other ways in which Shimako resembles Sei. Toudou Shimako, who is now Rosa Gigantea, one of the leaders of the Yamayurikai, paragon of the student body. Yumi's friend. And one of Satou Sei's fixed points.