AN: The second chapter of the Fidelius story. This was the actual idea that my brother and I had. Hopefully, you guys enjoyed the introductory chapter!


James Potter was mad. His best friend Sirius Black had humiliated him. He had to admit that the execution was hilarious, but that didn't help him feel better about it. The fact that it had happened in front of Lily was the only reason he wasn't congratulating his best friend for the prank. Curse that mutt and his great pranks! Walking back to the Gryffindor common room, he decided that he couldn't let this stand. Lily had came up with an awesome spell the day before. A wicked grin marred his face as a plan formed in his mind. Revenge would be his!

That night, Sirius Black was getting frisky with possibly the most attractive Ravenclaw in all Hogwarts. He had worked hard to woo her and he was finally reaping the benefits. Her hand was steadily working its way downwards, much to his pleasure, when it stopped abruptly on his pants. The beautiful, and usually quite clever, girl looked confused about something. Sirius waited for her to speak her mind.

"Sirius?" she asked in a voice that sounded confused and embarrassed. "I know this sounds really stupid, but I know you're a guy."

Sirius was not impressed at this comment, but decided to see where his partner would go with this.

"I can't seem to remember where your penis is." she finished lamely.

Sirius smirked. He was going to get some tonight! Why the girl didn't say it outright was a mystery to him. Probably some weird Ravenclaw foreplay. He put on his best smile and decided to play along and...educate her.

"A little course on anatomy coming right up." he muttered. "The penis is found in the pelvic area between the legs. But I don't know where mine is." That was weird. Why did he say that last line? He remembered knowing where his penis was, but couldn't seem to remember its location. It was the Ravenclaw's turn to not be impressed. But Sirius was not considered the king of picking up girls for nothing. He put his momentary confusion aside and tried another approach. "How about we get naked, we'll find it!" he declared with a huge grin, which his date also shared.

He took off all of his clothes and found that he still couldn't find his penis. He started hyperventilating. It couldn't have just disappeared! "Where's little Padfoot?" he half-yelled, half-sobbed. The Gryffindor let out one loud, girly scream before passing out in fear.

James was out the door, laughing hysterically. Fidelius Sirius' underwear and that section of the body all but vanished. And every "inhabitant" could no longer be found. This was possibly the best prank he had ever done. And since the charm had been cast while Sirius was sleeping, he was none the wiser.

Sirius' date left the room and James made sure that his invisibility cloak was completely covering him. He then went in to see Sirius and found him passed out in his underwear. He wanted to take a picture, but was afraid of how it would interact with the Fidelius. Better not try it and risk losing his meal. Now came the scary part of removing the Fideliused underwear. It was the price to pay for pulling such a powerful prank. One burned pair of underwear later, James left Sirius unconscious and naked, alone in the room. He did make sure that the Hogwart's gossip network was aware of his best friend's state.