Now it's over a month later. December 23. Tomorrow is Takano-san's birthday. And I have yet to buy him a present.

To be honest, I've kind of been procrastinating on buying him a present. Half of me is saying 'Why do I need to buy him a present anyways!?', but I also feel like I owe him for taking me on that date before, that, by the way, turned out for the best for both of us. Takano didn't even try to do anything with me that night! We've 'done it' since then, but even then he was gentle about it.

I've been thinking about getting him something he actually needs, but I can't really tell since we don't talk about personal stuff much. So then I just thought about a present a man might just give another man at random, but I want to give him something more sentimental than lottery tickets. So then I thought about sentimental gifts, but sentimental gifts are also expensive gifts, and I can't really afford to buy anything expensive for anyone right now.

Today is a Saturday and I don't have work, so I decided to sneak out of my apartment (so Takano wouldn't see me) and head to the outlets to hopefully find something decent to give to Takano. I took the subway to the outlets and started looking around at stores.

Most of them were clothing stores, and clothes were out of the option because I'm not exactly an expert on Takano's taste in clothes (even if I do see him pretty much every day), and not all stores make their sizes the same as everyone else so it's really just a pain. I found an actual gift store, so I started looking around in there. There were coffee cups with initials on them, calendars, puzzles, decks of cards, writing utensils, cards, candles… nothing that quite piqued my interest. Although, the candles gave me an idea for a birthday dinner for him, and at that moment it was the only idea I had. On the way home I bought penne noodles, tomato sauce, beef, and a few other things to sprinkle in there.

For some reason, it was weird, but I was excited to do something that I knew would make Takano happy. I could only hope that nothing would go wrong, or that he didn't already have plans with someone else.


The next morning I stayed in bed thinking about what tonight would be like. Maybe it would go completely right and I would finally conjure up enough courage to tell Takano how I really feel. Maybe it would go completely wrong and Takano would storm out of my apartment thinking there really was no hope for us. Thinking about these scenarios made me both excited and anxious, so I decided to get up and make myself some coffee.

I threw the dirty clothes off my couch, and as I did that I suddenly realized that I would have to clean up some if I wanted to have any company over. I took twenty minutes to relax and sip on my coffee, and then I got up and started working on my pile (more like a mountain) of dirty dishes. I cleaned up the rest of the kitchen and picked up all the clothes from the floor, putting away the clean ones and throwing the dirty ones in a laundry basket. I took all the dirty clothes downstairs to wash, and managed to do that and come back up before I caught Takano. Maybe he's working? Wait, that would really suck because if he had to go to work on a Sunday then there would be a good chance he would get home really late…

I ignored the thought and began to vacuum the small apartment. I made my bed (if Takano's going to do that kind of stuff to me, I'm not going to also have him thinking I'm a pig), and finally started setting up the table. I threw away all the junk mail that was on it, wiped off the dust (it's been a while since I've had a proper meal at this table), laid out two large, white plates (that I made sure were extra clean), and wrapped the silverware in linen napkins. I also made sure to leave a spot in the middle for the pasta.

By the time I was done it was already two o' clock, so I threw the clothes downstairs in the dryer (thankfully being able to avoid Takano again). When I got up to my apartment I decided to send him a text to let him know about the dinner- I'm planning to cook myself dinner tonight. You can come over in a few hours if you'd like, otherwise please ignore this. It was kind of amazing how I had the gull to make Takano a birthday dinner but not even tell him about it.

I decided to start on the pasta sauce, so I threw in the tomato sauce and let it get to a boil. I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about things that could go wrong. What if he already has plans with someone else? What if he thinks my cooking is bad? What if I burn the pasta? What if he doesn't like pasta at all!?

Trying to ease my mind off of it, I take out the bottle of champagne I was planning to use for tonight. "Just a little drink to loosen me up a little…"

.

.

.

I finish the pasta, put it in a bowl and set it on the table while simultaneously managing to drink the rest of the bottle of champagne. Nevertheless, being "as loose as a goose", I feel ready to face Takano.

He came around six o' clock. When he rang the bell I stumbled to the door and opened it to reveal Takano-san holding a bottle of wine. "Hello Takano-san," I say boldly. "Ooh, what's this you got here?" I say, pointing to the wine. As I try to grab it, Takano pulls the bottle away and pushes me back with a grin on his face, "Uh, Onodera, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, how about you?" I say casually, inviting him in.

He enters my apartment and takes off his shoes. We walk into the kitchen, him setting the bottle of wine on a table behind him. He laughs a little bit, "Onodera, I think you're drunk."

"Drunk? Me!?" I laugh a little bit as well, "Yeah, I've been drinking a little bit today. Only because I've been so tense about this dinner all day… Oh, which reminds me! Happy Birthday!" I say, wrapping my arms around his waist, smiling.

He pats my head, smiling, and says, "I wonder if I should put you to bed or not…"

"No!" I say, shooting my head up, "I spent all day cleaning and cooking and waiting for you to come over, and I know I've kind of messed it up already, but it really would mean a lot to me if we at least ate dinner together…" I plead him with my eyes looking straight into his, an act I'd never have enough courage to do sober.

He smiles at me and strokes my cheek with his hand, "Well if it means that much to you, I guess I can't say no. But you're drinking water."

He pulls out a seat for me and gets me a glass of water from the tap, and pours himself a glass of wine. We both serve ourselves pasta and start eating. I watch Takano take his first bite and he didn't cringe or anything, which was very relieving. "How is it?" I ask.

"Delicious, Ritsu." He answers with a smile. "Where did you get the recipe?"

"Well, it's actually a recipe from our maid we had when I was young. She taught me how to make this, and I'm pretty surprised I remembered how to make it. I haven't made this dish in well over a year."

"I've never had pasta, actually. I've heard about it, but was never interested enough to go out and try it. I'm glad I get to have it for my first time here with you."

I look down at my food, trying to hide my blush and smile. In this state, it was pretty hard for me to hide how vulnerable I get when he does sweet things for me. It made me very happy that all my effort hadn't gone to waste.

"So you had a maid when you were younger?" Takano started to ask. "You really were that rich, huh?"

I chuckle a little. "Yeah, I guess I was 'that rich'. Being that my parents were often busy with their social and work lives, she was the one who taught me how to clean and cook and helped me with my homework, all that stuff. She moved away when I was 11 because she met a guy she really liked and wanted to move in with him. We even went to her wedding a few years later!"

"Ah, that must have been really nice. I've never been to a wedding."

"What? Are you kidding!?"

"Nope. My parents were very distant with their relatives and didn't bother taking me to their friends' weddings. And up to now I don't have many friends either, so I've never been to a wedding."

"I love going to weddings! The last one I went to was about 5 years ago for my uncle. We all went to this small island with beautiful forests, and the wedding reception was inside this huge ballroom in a gorgeous hotel, and all night An-chan couldn't stop talking about how we'd have to make our wedding ten times grander than his. I suggested that we could rent a huge cruise ship, get married in the middle of the ocean, and have the reception in China!" I then started laughing a little harder then I should have, failing to notice the disappointed expression starting to appear on Takano's face.

Instead of saying anything he simply washed the disappointment away and changed the subject, "So what spices did you put in here?"


When we both finished I picked up both of our plates and brought them to the kitchen, but before I made it to the sink I accidently dropped them and broke them. "Shit!" I yell. Takano walked over and was about to ask me what happened, but just smirked when he saw the broken plates on the floor. "Go get your broom, Onodera." I got the broom and brought it to Takano, and he started to sweep the fragments into the dustpan.

Suddenly I remember something, "Shit I forgot my clothes downstairs! I'll be back Takano, I just need to-"He grabbed my arm, but not forcefully, just enough to get me to stop and look back at him. "I'll take care of your clothes, just go lie down for now, ok?" I listened and walked to my room, changing into pajamas and crawling into my bed.

I started to dwell on how badly I messed up Takano's birthday dinner. Picking up broken plates and doing my laundry is probably the last thing he wants to be doing on his birthday. He could be celebrating at a bar with all his other friends, but instead he settled for a lousy dinner with me.

The more I thought about it, the more I started to hate myself for it. Tears started running down my face, and I let myself cry for a little bit until I heard Takano in the doorway. I duck my head into a pillow, afraid he would come in here to check on me.

He does come in the room with the laundry basket and a glass of water and starts talking, "I folded all your clothes in here. I can put them away for you, although I'm not exactly sure-"He pauses when he sees me crying, "Onodera, are you ok?" He puts down the laundry basket and sits down on the bed next to me. He stokes my cheek that's exposed and says "Onodera, tell me what's wrong."

I still felt a little more bold than usual, so I said "Inviting you here was a mistake. I completely ruined your birthday dinner that I put so much effort into… If you'd rather be with someone else right now, then just go ahead. You don't have to stay just to be nice."

He sighs and says "Onodera, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here with you. I'm really happy you invited me over today. So you got a little drunk… It's the thought that counts." He smiles at me and continues, "I don't want to say much else because you probably won't remember anything in the morning anyways. Here, drink some water and your hangover won't be as bad."

I sit up and drink about half of the glass of water, and then I suddenly get really tired and lay back down on the bed. The last thing I feel before I fall asleep is Takano's lips against my cheek.