Hey guys! New chapter woooooh! I'll probably be able to update this faster once I get back home. But I think I had enough time to make this a decently long chapter. Hope you guys like it. And thanks for the reviews. I love them ^-^. I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or the characters used. Enjoy.


Kaneki could only cope with Hide's condition the only way he could. Quietly and with books. Hide told Kaneki he had been through this once before, just not with someone he loved so lungs were becoming weaker and his heart (like always) wasn't in the best condition, it had turned into the worse it had been since he was a child. It did scare him still. The doctors weren't sure what they could do since his immune system was weakening along with everything else. At this point he was still he had to stay inside, in clean places. He had to go on leave for a while from his job and online classes then started for him. Kaneki decided to move in with him after a month of being diagnosed.

Kaneki couldn't accept this though. Not the warm smiles Hide gave, not the sneaks of his inhaler, not the small walks they went on around the apartment complex. It hurt. Really hurt. Made him feel like an idiot sometimes because he believed it, rarely. But he let himself believe. He thought that sometimes Hide was okay and he was going to be okay, but hearing a harsh cough, having Hide sit down after a short time to get his heart rate down, seeing him swallow pills; that all snapped back to him. Hide was sick. And all Kaneki could try to do for him was give him support and more time.

He thought it would be easier for him to move in since he didn't have much of anything already. He moved in three months ago, when two months ago Hide got the letter.

Hide was asleep with his head in Kaneki's lap. Right now, the TV was paused with some anime Hide was watching a while ago, The clock was stuck on 12:11, Kaneki was stroking Hide's hair as he read. He got a medical book from the college library about heart conditions. He needed to learn more, if he had more knowledge he could face this. This sickness. Kaneki looked down at Hide. There were dark bags under his eyes, he looked paler. Hide wasn't getting enough sleep. He would wake up with coughing fits or he'd be too hot under the blankets. Hide would always cover his mouth till he made it to the bathroom. He didn't know Kaneki still heard him cough then adventually throw up. Kaneki would always roll over on his hip and waited for Hide to come out, then he'd pretend he was asleep and hold Hide when he was back in bed. Hide even smelt like sickness.

But he wasn't bad enough, yet. Not yet. Kaneki was waiting for that day.

Kankei closed his eyes. He breathed out and just like that, the sound came back to the TV and small hushed breaths came from Hide. He gripped Kaneki's pants leg and grumbled. He rubbed his eyes and started to lift up his head.

"Mmmm, morning already?" Hide asked.

"Midnight, Hide."

Hide nuzzled against Kaneki's neck like a cat before kissing him on the cheek. He wrapped his arms around Kaneki's neck and put his head down. Kaneki folded a corner in his book then closed it.

"What's wrong, Hide?" Kaneki asked.

"You stopped time didn't you," Hide mumbled, "I feel more tired than I should."

"Just for two hours. I know you won't sleep for long if you tried for yourself," Kaneki handed Hide a glass of water from the coffee table and two of his pills he sat out earlier, "I wanted you to rest."

Hide took a sip of water and held his nose while he took his pills. Kaneki kissed the top of Hide's head and tussled his hair. Hide coughed into his hoodie sleeve before smiling back at Kaneki.

"Thanks for looking out for me, Kaneki," Hide hugged Kaneki's waist and squeezed, "Always."

Kaneki ran his fingers back in his hair and softly exhaled, "Always."

Hide swallowed and pulled back. Kaneki picked up his book again and smiled gently. He thought Hide would continue to watch his anime before he'd go to bed. But all he did was stare at Kaneki. It was weird, he tried not to look at Hide from the corner of his eye. Kaneki was used to looking at everyone else, not someone gazing back at him.

"What?" Kaneki blushed, scrunching up his shoulders.

Hide had his hands in his lap. He looked like a droopy eyed puppy. Kaneki tilted his head.

"Can I asked you something?" Hide said.

"Anything, you know you can ask me whatever you want."

Hide looked down and scratched his cheek,"Do you… Do you sometimes want to leave me? Like- or maybe wish you never met me?"

"Leave you? Never-what? Where did that come from?"

"Just answer. I want the truth."

"No," Kaneki quickly said, "I never want to leave you it took me so long to get this close to you. Why would I want to go?"

Hide shrugged, "Well, for the past two months you've been taking care of me… a lot… I can take care of myself sometimes and I know you're stressed out by this don't even lie," Hide sighed and tipped his head back, "I don't know. Maybe I just think you might be getting sick of me." Hide laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hide…" Kaneki scooted over and wrapped his arms around Hide, "Don't say that. You're acting like a burden."

"I feel like I'm becoming one. I mean look at what you're reading. You're really worried. And that can't be fun. And I'm your boyfriend, I'm supposed to be fun. Not … You know."

Kaneki leaned over and kissed Hide. His lips pressed harsh to Hide's and parted his lips. Hide closed his eyes and relaxed his body, Hide ran his fingers back in his hair. Kaneki held his hips and pulled him close. Kaneki loved this, this warmth Hide produced. It made him hot and comfty. Like hot chocolate on a cold day. Kaneki pulled back, Hide's eyes glistened. His thumb glide on Hide's cheek.

"Hide, I love you," Kaneki breathed, "A little bump like this isn't going to get in the way of that."

Hide blushed, his eyes widened, "I… I love you too, Kaneki but-"

"But nothing," Kaneki interrupted, "I'm going to be with you till the end of this. Always, remember? You said it yourself. I'm here for you."

Hide smiled and laughed, "Right," Hide nodded and rubbed his eyes, "I should have known you wouldn't give up that easily."

Hide kissed Kaneki again. His tongue licked Kaneki's bottom lip. His hand on Kaneki's chest.

"I feel pretty good today," Hide kissed Kaneki's neck, "Wanna maybe…"

"I don't think you can keep your heart rate down during that. I can't hold back around you, Hide." Kaneki muttered, closing his eyes and putting his hand on Hide's arm.

"I took my medication. You don't have to hold back around me, Kaneki. I love when you don't" Hide kissed Kaneki's jawline, "It makes me feel normal when you do it like that."

Kaneki looked over at Hide. He figured out that he himself was Hide's slice of normality. That Kaneki was his "Everything is alright," even when he was worried about Hide's health. When he was with Hide, he would touch him harshly sometimes. Let his teeth graze the skin to taste him fully. Anything most couples would do. And Hide loved that, he needed that. Kaneki nodded and pushed Hide on his back.

"Tell me if it gets too much for you okay?" Kaneki said, kissed Hide.

Hide smiled and put his hands on Kaneki's back, "Promise I will."

Kaneki moved his hand up Hide's hoodie. He was always cold. His fingers glided over Hide's nipple, soft and already perked. Hide turned his head to the side and blushed. His body tensed up from the delicate touch, breathing gently. Kaneki watched him as he rubbed and pinched slightly.

"Hah, Kaneki…" Hide mumbled

"Good?"

"Very."

Kaneki smiled and took off Hide's hoodie, letting it stay up at his wrists to bound them. Kaneki kissed Hide's chest to his sculpted pecs. His nipples were such a light pink, just as the blush on his face. Kaneki's tongue flicked over his nipple, Hide pressed his chest up. Kaneki let his hands run down Hide's side. He felt a little bit of Hide's ribs from him arching his back and the hardness of his abs. He nipped Hide's nipple and pulled. Hide moaned and tossed his head. Kaneki started to pull down Hide's pants, pressing his hand to his crotch. Hide put his knees together, he was always so shy when it came to this part.

Kaneki never knew why, but he always wanted to stop time at this point. When Hide's eyes are closed, his cheeks red, and his breathing very light. Beautiful. Kaneki never saw this as embarrassing, just pure beauty. Kaneki sometimes wondered what Hide thought of him when they had sex or even during this stage. Did Hide think Kaneki was dominating with his hands all over him? Was he sexy? Handsome? What was he to Hide? Maybe he was love. Boyfriend. Life, even. Kaneki wished he could read minds instead of stop time.

Kaneki had taken off Hide's pants and boxers, he lifted up Hide's thighs and pressed them to his lips. Kaneki had taken off his sweater and button up already before he slid between Hide's legs. Kaneki bit down on Hide's inner thigh as he lingered down his tongue to Hide's entrance. Hide gasped and straightened up. Kaneki licked Hide's entrance and kept Hide's squirming legs apart. He circled around and lapped his tongue up thickly. Hide would moan and turn his head to the side. He panted slightly, Kaneki started to get hard and unzipped his pants.

"Um, Hide, would you mind to open your mouth?" Kaneki asked

"You want me to suck on your fingers, huh?" Hide smirked.

Kaneki swallowed and nodded. Hide laughed slightly, "As long as you keep doing what you're doing down there."

Kaneki huffed and pressed his fingers against Hide's lips. Kaneki lowered his head back down and started licking again. Hide wrapped his mouth against Kaneki's fingers and started to suck, he moaned around them. Kaneki groaned as he started to take off his own pants. Hide slobbered all over Kaneki's fingers and pulled back. Drool dribbling in the corner of his mouth as he huffed, saliva dripped from Kaneki's fingers.

"Those should be good, yeah?" Hide breathed.

Kaneki sat up on his knees and tugged off his pants, "They have to be."

Kaneki pressed in two fingers quickly, Hide moaned and closed his eyes.

"Oh fuck, you're really ready aren't ya?"

Kaneki didn't reply but instead smashed his lips to Hide's. Their breath was hot at Kaneki moved his fingers fast. Hide parted his lips and pressed his tongue in Kaneki's mouth. Lapping over his and biting his lip after. The two panted after they pulled apart, a bit of saliva connected their tongues together. Kaneki curled his fingers before pulling them out.

"Are you still okay? Chest doesn't hurt? Nothing like that?" Kaneki asked.

"No, no, I'm fine just put your dick in already." Hide said impatient.

Kaneki shook his head and laughed slightly. He pressed his cock against the wet entrance and started to move in. Hide seethed and clenched his teeth, trying to relax his body. He opened his mouth and let out a whining moan. Kaneki started to kiss Hide's face all over. Reminding Hide that he was in good hands as he started to rock his hips. Hide bit his lip, he felt sweat dribble down his body and some fall on him. Kaneki held up Hide's knees and breathed out close to Hide's ear. Hide tightened around Kaneki's cock, biting down on his lip.

"Don't do that," Kaneki mumbled, letting his thumb pull down Hide's bottom lip, "I want to hear everything."

Hide moaned, "How cliched and romantic." He laughed, gingerly.

Kaneki licked the shell of Hide's ear, causing him to shiver and giggled. Kaneki started to thrust harder, Hide arched his back and moaned. Squeezing his eyes closed, sweat moved down his jawline. They kept at it like this for almost an hour. These choppy, hard thrusts that never seemed to move too fast. It was wonderful. How Kaneki's weight fell on top of Hide and how the mixture of their breaths stayed so close. How Hide's arms locked around Kaneki's back, leaving scratches, some even drawing blood. Kaneki didn't mind, he wanted those marks to remain imprinted on his body like a tattoo. Hide was given to him. Kaneki would never just let that go.

Kaneki wished it was like this forever. To stay smushed against Hide, just feeling the beat of his heart, knowing he was here. To know he was still breathing, to see he was still a warm body. Kaneki's hand worked his fingers down Hide's skin, curling into a small ball before lowering his head.

"K-Kaneki?" Hide breathed as they finished up,"What's wrong?"

"It's just…." Kaneki paused, rubbing his chin quick before lowering his hand back down.
"It's nothing, Hide. Nothing."

"Liar. Tell me," Hide raised his hands into Kaneki's hair, he took off the patch and teased his black locks, "What's on your mind?"

Kaneki sucked in his lower lip and clenched his teeth. He rubbed his eye, "I just… I just love you so much you know?"

Hide kissed Kaneki and fell back on the couch, " I know you do, and I love you too," Hide said, he plucked out a white hair and dangled it in Kaneki's face, "But you loving me might kill ya." He chuckled.

"Loving you is a good way to go."

Kaneki pressed his lips to Hide's neck and started kissing. Hide kept laughing and trying to push him back. He started to have a coughing fit and Kaneki let up. Hide's palm was against his mouth.

"You okay?" Kaneki asked.

Hide was teary eyed and trying to get out his words, "I-I'm fine," Hide said scratchy and smiling. He looked down at his hand and gasped, "Shit," He started to sit up and cough again, Grabbing a tissue from the end table "I need to use the bathroom."

"Hide? Hide!" Kaneki called after as he rushed to the bathroom.

Kaneki heard the bathroom door slam and sighed. He ran his fingers back in his hair.. He saw another grey strand of hair fall in his face. He looked down to see the wadded up tissue Hide had. Little flecks of blood on it. Kaneki closed his eyes, holding his face in his hands as he started to cry while he heard Hide keep coughing in the bathroom.


Kaneki had his fingers weaved in his hair as he read fast. Drinking the medical words like he was dehydrated at the coffee counter. Everyone was frozen in place. This was the fourth medical book he had read. Not counting the dietary books that showed food that was good for the heart. This discussed the immune system and how it all worked. He kept writing down medical terms he had no idea about. Like it mattered, like any of it mattered. What would books do to help Hide? Books wouldn't stop sickness. Kaneki had no idea why he knept doing it, yet he was going to go to the used book store and buy more books after work.

He had started to stop time when he was at work the best he could so he could read in silence. But that wouldn't last as long as he wanted it to. Kaneki started to hear the clicking of cups and chatter again. Names being called that there coffee was done. Kanek groaned and put his hands to the side of his head, he pulled his hair. Leaning down to the counter.

"Fuck," Kaneki said under his breath, "There's not enough time, not enough time…"

Touka walked up to the counter and leaned over,"Yo, Kaneki-"

"There's no time!" Kaneki said.

Touka hopped back, straightening up and pulling back from the counter. Kaneki raised up his head, his eyes widened. His cheeks turned into a tinted rose color. He swallowed, "I-... I'm sorry, Touka for yelling... Need something?"

Touka raise an eyebrow,"I do. Two coffees, one black and one with cream."

"Yeah, sure, sure, just uh one sec," Kaneki looked around him like he was trying to figure out where everything was, "Okay, I got you."

As Kaneki started to get the mugs and coffee filters, pouring in cream in the cup as the coffee brewed. Kaneki tucked his two tone hair behind his ear. Touka rested her forearms on the counter and tilted her head.

"You're okay, right Kaneki?" Touka asked.

"Huh? Oh, oh yeah I'm fine," Kaneki smiled gently, "Just thinking is all."

Touka hummed and laid her cheek in her hand. She looked around the shop, "Haven't seen Hide in a while," Touka said. Kaneki paused briefly before fixing the coffees, "How's he been feeling?"

Kaneki slid the cups towards Touka, "Here's your coffee, Touka," Kaneki grinned, "The one with cream is on the right."

"I'm guessing he's not any better is he? He hasn't gotten worse has he?"

There was no way to get out of this. Touka was too stubborn to let anything go. He hadn't really been telling anyone about Hide and how he was. Kaneki sighed and rubbed his face.

"He gets really weak now-a-days," Kaneki pinched his brow, "He doesn't go out often, breathing problems you know? Just for a quick walk outside or something. Hide gets really exhausted is all."

"And the doctor appointments? How are those going?" Touka asked, setting up the cups on the tray.

Kaneki groaned, "The doctors keep giving him different kinds of pills and regimens, stuff like that. But none of it seem like it's working," Kaneki slammed the coffee pot down, "He needs more time from them."

Touka put her hand on Kaneki's shoulder. Her eyes were narrowed, almost in a glare. Kaneki leaned back and away from her.

"Don't worry. Nagachicka isn't gonna give up that easily." Touka gave him a sly smile before walking off.

Kaneki lowered his eyes. It was heartwarming to hear but that didn't mean it made him feel better. Kaneki deeply exhaled and moved back to his book. Starting to read again. It started to become slow, with customers already taken care of and Touka and Nishiki started to argue like always. He tried to drown out the noise while Hinami helped the others start to mop the floors.

As Hinami swept with her baby blue broom, she looked up at Kaneki. Seeing his tired face reading. She put her hands on the counter and tried to see what he was reading and looked at the note pad with terms on it. She hummed and tilted her head.

"You're learning about the immune system?" Hinami questioned, "Do you need it for a class?"

"Oh. Hinami. No, no I don't need it for a class. I'm just learning it to learn it."

"Oh! It's for your boyfriend right?"

Kaneki looked at Hinami, surprised, "You know about Hide?"

"Well of course I do. I used to see him almost everyday when I was working on homework and when you were closing. I saw the way he looked at you and how you looked at him. It's like how Mama looks at Daddy," Hinami giggled, "I heard he was sick."

"How?"

Hinami shrugged, "Just around the shop. No one really notices me."

Kaneki's jaw tightened, he chewed his cheek before teasing Hinami's hair, "Yeah, that's right. I'm going to try to help him out by learning about his condition."

"Hinami," Touka called, "There's coffee in my room for you. How about you go drink up, huh?"

"Wha? But I wanted to help clean up." Hinami pouted.

"Hinami don't back talk. It's not a good habit. Believe me," Touka smiled at her, " There's chocolate filled croissants Yoriko made."

Hinami's eyes got bright and big, She looked up at Kaneki for some reason he softly laughed, "Well you better get up there. Maybe you can look at some words you don't know in your book and I'll tell you what they are later."

Hinami laughed and nodded, she ran over to the stairs, "Bye Kaneki I hope your boyfriend feels better!"

Kaneki smiled sadly and waved up at her as she went upstairs. He licked his bottom lip and soon frowned. Touka and Nishiki walked towards the counter.

"Sorry, I thought it would be better if she didn't pry." Touka said.

"Thanks for looking out for me but I'm fine. Okay? Just peachy."

"Oh bullshit, Kaneki," Nishiki rolled his eyes and walked behind the counter, "Look at you, your hair's turning white from all this stress. You're not telling us how bad Nagachika is. I haven't seen him in months at school."

"Why do I need to tell you two? It's not like you can help him."

"It's not him we want to help, idiot it's you. I'm studying pharmaceuticals for Christ sake. At least I could give you some relief."

"Oh what, you're saying I haven't been trying to do that for him?" Touka asked, harshly, "I don't see you asking if he wants to go out and do something. I just see you trying to score your girlfriend."

"Fuck you, flat ass bitch."

"Oh now you're staring at my ass, pervert?!"

"You want to go?"

"And what if I do?"

Kaneki sighed and picked up his book and moved out of the fight. Nishiki and Touka started to forget about Kaneki which was a good thing. Kaneki wasn't one for talking about his problems. He was one for letting them build up and come out in explosions. And that was fine for him. The coffee shop bell rang and they all turned their heads towards the door.

"Oh no…" Kaneki muttered

"Shit." Nishiki mumbled

"French trash." Touka shivered

"Bonjour," Tsukiyama introduced, grinning widely and looking over at Kaneki, "Oh, Kaneki my sweet. Good to see you. And you too Touka."

"Bite me walking garbage can."

"How very lady like, nothing less from you. I'll have a cup of coffee while I talk to Kaneki."

Tsukiyama was a famous restaurant connoisseur. He usually goes on long trips at a time all around the country, around the world. He had tried almost everything imaginable, everything to make the mouth his favorite place to go would always be the coffee shop. Even though everyone thought he was a French freak, he liked coming after a long trip Touka glared and clicked her tongue and started a fresh pot of coffee. Tsukiyama sat down at one of the stools at the counter. Kaneki blushed and held his book to his chest. He grinned and pressed his finger to Kaneki's chest.

"Have you stayed up late reading? Est-ce que tu es fatigue?"

"Huh? Excuse me?" Kaneki said, confused. "Pardon my French, are you tired, Kaneki is what I meant. Your face looks sunken. Not as plump like it used to be," Tsukiyama pinched Kaneki's cheek, "And your hair, horrible! Two different 's wrong with you?"

Kaneki squeezed the book tighter to his chest and pulled his head away, "Um… My boyfriend, Hide has been sick lately.. Well he's always been sick but now it's just…"

"Worse? Oui?"

Kaneki licked his lips and nodded, "Y-yeah."

"Worried, aren't you? What a tragic love story," Tsukiyama got a peek at the cover of Kaneki's book, "Immune system? Is that his problem? Immune system weak?"

"And other things…."

"Hmmm,like?"

"You don't have to tell him, Kaneki." Nishiki said, looking at Kaneki

Kaneki lowered his head down. He sighed. What would it hurt? Him? He had already felt pain. Maybe telling someone new wouldn't be so bad.

"His lungs aren't well right now and he's always had a heart disease. His immune system can't fight it. He kinda… As he likes to put it 'Falling apart'"

"Not much of a chance he has. Once your lungs goes next is the heart. Let me guess, thirty percent chance?"

"Knock it off, asshole," Touka said, putting his cup down on the table, "Drink you coffee and shut your mouth. He doesn't have to tell you."

It was easy about talking about what he already knew. Like talking about Hide's sickness. Bringing up the new stuff was always hard. Like a knife cutting in him. But maybe he needed to get over this pain to face everything else. To face real things, not the words that fell out of his mouth.

"T-...Twenty. Doctors told us he had a twenty percent chance of surviving. But he has a good chunk of time. Says he's got six months to two years. He could get really lucky and have three years."

Tsukiyama grinned. Touka gasped and held her hand to her mouth, Nishiki gulped. It was just dropped on their shoulders like it was dropped on Kaneki. And somehow, it did feel good. It didn't feel good to say. But it felt good in the right way. Because it hit Kaneki. It hit him that he was only counting down the days.

"Kaneki. You didn't tell us it was that bad." Touka basically whispered.

"So now you're hoping for the best.. You must have a nice time with him. You never know when he might be gone."

"Shut your fucking mouth. This isn't the time to talk like that." Touka sneered.

Tsukiyama closed his eyes and put his hands up, "I'm only trying to be supportive. I do know a lot about the human body petite dame."

"I will kick you out myself if you don't leave yourself."

"And if she won't kick your ass, I will." Nishiki said.

Kaneki lifted up his head, "You're right," Kaneki breathed. The arguing kept going on. Kaneki started to silently pick up his things from behind the counter. He took off his vest and threw on a pull over.. He put his backpack over his shoulder and started to walk from behind the counter in a fast pace.

"Oi! Kaneki where are you going?!" Touka called, "This is all your fault you French garbage can."

"Oh it is not!"

"I just have to go. I have to go see Hide. I can never know if it'll be my last."

He left just after that. Everyone only looked at him as he raced out the door. Tsukiyama was right. He couldn't just keep learning and reading constantly. He had to be with Hide.

Kaneki got home at eight. When he got home, he had a plastic bag around his wrist. He unlocked the apartment door, the lamp was only on while Hide had a blanket over his head. Hide smiled widely and let the hood of the blanket fall from his head.

"Kaneki, you're home early. What a nice surprise." Hide greeted.

Kaneki took off his shoes and walked over to Hide, he kissed him deeply before sitting back on the couch.

"I got you a few things on the way home." Kaneki said, rummaging through the bag.

"Oh? Things for me? I didn't need a refill on my inhaler or anything like that,though. Pharmacy call you?"

"No, it's not anything like that," Kaneki pulled out a paper bag and handed it to Hide, "There's a few Attack on Titan mangas in there, I know you like the anime so I thought you'd like the mangas. The bookstore was having a sale."

Hide started looking through the bag, "Kaneki, there's like six mangas in here. How much did you spend on these?"

"Don't ask cause I'm not going to tell you," Kaneki pulled out a little box, "Your favorite tea, and your favorite biscuits."

"Kaneki?"

"And I bought some more snacks and thought we could watch some films on Netflix or something. Have a little film night for ourselves after dinner."

"Kaneki," Hide started to laugh slightly," What's going on? You're treating tonight like it's something special"

"Nothing," Kaneki kissed Hide sweetly a few times. Holding him tightly while Hide still giggled, he kissed his neck and cheek, "I just want to spend time with you."

Hide smiled and held his fingers up to his mouth. He coughed slightly and only once. He cleared his throat and looked at Kaneki. Hide kissed his nose and rested his forehead on Kaneki's. Hide smiled, he hadn't had just a film night in so long.

"You're the best," Hide kissed Kaneki's cheek and wrapped his arms around his neck, "You treat me so well. Always."

"I have to try."


"No! There's no way I'm going!" Hide yelled, "I'm fine, I don't need to stay in the hospital!"

"Hide, the doctors think that's what's best. Your heart has been all irregular and your lungs are starting to give out. Calm down, you could faint."

It had been three months and Hide was gradually becoming worse. Some days he would just stay in bed, sleeping and barely eating. He'd be like this for days, not hours days. His coughing was worse and some days it would turn into wheezing. But sometimes he'd be out of bed, doing chores slowly but able to do it. His medication started to add, like some sort of colorful collection. Hide hadn't been outside in a long time. He'd only get exhausted.

Kaneki had been told by the doctors in private a long time ago that Hide would have to be put in the hospital and that day had came. And Hide was pissed to see that day come and hear the call from the same room without ever knowing.

"I'm not going!" Hide repeated, crossing his arms, "There's not a chance in hell I'm having a long term stay in a goddamn hospital."

"Hide, please. Just get your stuff ready while I start the car." Kaneki sighed.

"No. I'm not gonna. I'm fine, Kaneki. I'm not gonna get better there either. What's the difference?"

"You're not getting better here!" Kaneki snapped, "You're coughing up blood, Hide. A Lot of blood. You can't even go outside because you'll pass out," Kaneki put his hands on Hide's shoulders, "Don't you see, Hide. You can't get better here. You won't survive here. You have a chance of the doctors can keep an eye on you."

Kaneki's voice got softer, sounding like it was tearing apart. Like he was going to cry. His eye was getting glossy and the grip on Hide's shoulder got tighter. He swallowed, Hide bit his lip and put his hand on Kaneki's cheeks.

"Have you ever seen a four year old hooked up and in a hospital bed?" Hide breathed, "Have you seen him lying in there, a teddy in his arm while he heard his parents cry in the hallway over the machines he was hooked up to? Cause they're afraid their little boy isn't gonna make it. I can't go back there. I can't see you doing the same thing. I spent the first six years of my life in long term hospital living,in and out," Hide's jaw tightened from the memory, "I'm not wasting the last of my months in there."

"Hide…," Kaneki muttered, "It won't be like that. You won't die in there."

"How do you know? I know hospitals and I know what 'long term' means when you're taken from your home," Hide started to tremble he moved in close, looking in Kaneki's eyes, "Kaneki… It means I don't have a chance anymore… I haven't had a chance for a long time."

Kaneki swallowed and bit his lip. He closed his eyes and started to fall to his knees. He started to sniffle, trying his hardest not cry. But Kaneki couldn't help it. It was sad, you're supposed to cry when something is sad. No, when something is heartbreaking. He gripped Hide's hoodie and buried his face in the cloth.

"I wish I could heal you, Hide," Kaneki sobbed, "I wish I-I could just make you better instead of stopping stupid fucking time!"

Hide felt his stomach warm up, Kaneki's moist breath heated his hoodie. Hide ran his fingers through his hair. Seeing how he almost had white hair now and how slim he was. Hide knelt down and lifted Kaneki's head. The taste of salty tears in his lips.

"Kaneki… You have given me more time than I could ever ask for," Hide muttered, "Most wouldn't stay with a sick person like me. I'm bound to fail."

Kaneki just started to cry harder, "You're not a failure," Kaneki shook his head, "You're the best thing that's happened in my life." Kaneki started to wipe his eye and flip up his patch, "You don't treat me like a freak o-or make me feel different. You make me feel loved… So loved… I can't give that up yet."

Hide sadly laughed, "That sounds rather selfish of you."

"Damn right. Hide, I need you.. Please, at least try to get help at the hospital."

"I can't… I'm scared."

"And you don't think I am?" Kaneki breathed out, "Hide, you're my best friend…"

Hide then realized what he meant to Kaneki. What Kaneki meant to him. And maybe he wasn't doing his hardest. Maybe he was doing what he was always doing. Going with the flow and hoping for the best. Take pills, try doing what the doctors prescribed, but no hospitals. No more of those because he was older. He could go into haunted houses. He could ride a bike when everyone said he would never have the breath for it. He didn't need a machine to help him breath. He didn't need to be cut open anymore, sprawled out like a frog in a science lab because the doctors had finally pulled the right cords. The river was always going right. Right.

But now, the flow was turning, and the waters were rocking and Hide himself was in denial that the waters were clear. The denial Kaneki kept keeping him in by treating him with date nights and late cuddles. But he would snapped Hide back into reality by giving him his pills and a glass of water. Because Kaneki could see the curving, swirling waves that was hitting the sides. But Hide didn't see that. Not till he saw Kaneki breaking in front of 's lip trembled.

"Okay… Okay, I'll go," Hide's voice broke as he went to the ground, "Just don't cry. Cause if you cry I'll cry."

Hide wrapped his arms around Kaneki. He started to tilt back and fell softly down. Kaneki kept sobbing in Hide's arms.

"Hey, didn't you hear me? I'm going, Kaneki. I'll let them pump me full of pills! And do their surgeries everything. I'm gonna be better."

"I know… That's why I'm crying. Because you're going."

Hide started to giggle before cracking up, "I love you Kaneki."

"I love you too, Hide."


So I hope you enjoyed. Review follow, and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update.