A montage of SAINTS' BATTLE STANCES is played. The large capital letters read:

ATHENA

EXT. ATHENA'S STATUE

BRONZE SAINTS are charging to camera.

LOVE

INT. HOUSE

LITTLE PANDORA tends to BABY SHUN.

JUSTICE ON EARTH

EXT. SPACE

SAGA

GALAXIAN EXPLOSION!

The letters EXPLODE; they morph into:

SAINT SEIYA: SATAN, CHAPTER – WRETCHES AND FREAKS

PRE-GAME SHOW

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

DEATHMASK: Well, here we are again.

SHION: Invading the Sanctuary has long been my secret fantasy, and I'm glad to do it under the guise of justice.

SHURA: This is what Saint Seiya is all about: angst, multi-colored hair, lots of crying.

Suddenly, the PRELUDE TO "LET IT BE" starts playing. We play a montage of SHION being STABBED, SAGA committing suicide, CAMUS succumbing to severe HYPOTHERMIA, SHURA being rocketed into the outer atmosphere, APHRODITE being blown to bits by SOLAR WIND, and DEATHMASK falling to his death.

CAMUS: When I found myself in rocks and pebbles, Satan Hades came to me,

Speaking words of wisdom: let it freeze.

And as the Prince of Darkness threatened me with a demise that ain't neat,

"This is Armageddon: let it freeze."

Let it freeze, let it freeze, let it freeze, let it freeze.

This is Armageddon, let it freeze.

Soldiers in cryostasis struggle to defrost and then decree,

"Build an icy kingdom. Make them see."

For though Saints may lack practice they are terrifying angry creeps,

Kill them as a prayer. What a breeze.

What a breeze, what a breeze, what a breeze, what a breeze.

Blast them to mere atoms. No debris.

No debris, no debris, no debris, no debris.

This is Armageddon, let it freeze.

In INTERMISSION, we visit the various PROTAGONISTS.

INT. LEO TEMPLE

AIOLIA: (dramatic sigh) I felt everyone when they arrived. Though I knew them well before their unfortunate deaths, I didn't anticipate the depth of their friendship. How else would they know Athena is driving us crazy because She's bored out of Her skull and itches for things to kill?

INT. SCORPIO TEMPLE

MILO: A violent, bloody, emotionally-draining battle is precisely what our Goddess needs, and I'm grateful those pathetic suckers stepped up. Serves them right for being so incompetent as to die in the first place.

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

SAGA: This is, I believe, how things come to full circle: First, we kill ourselves, then a foreign Goddess, Poseidon, random movie entities, and now we are back to killing ourselves.

We are then shown a clip of except for SHION, everyone being resurrected, only to be collectively killed off again.

CAMUS: Let it freeze, let it freeze, let it freeze, let it freeze.

This is Armageddon, let it freeze.

You'll be stuck in frozen comas, not a chance for escape feats,

Choking till tomorrow, "let me breathe."

I arm myself with winds from arctic, Satan Hades commands me,

This is Armageddon, make them see.

Make them see, make them see, make them see, make them see.

There will be surrender. Make them see

Make them see, make them see, make them see, make them see.

I do somewhat hate Her. Make them see!

Let it freeze, let it freeze, let it freeze, let it freeze!

This is Armageddon: let it freeze!

EXT. ATHENA'S STATUE

SEIYA: Here we are at Sanctuary, Athens, Greece. The temperature is a comfortable 35 Fahrenheit, overcast, ripe for some light, emo rain. We are super excited for you to join us at this outstanding event of Gold Saints killing each other, but, before that, let's get a unique behind-the-scenes look at the two teams, Dead and Alive.

SHIRYU: Joining with us live are Team Dead, led by their coach, Aries "Godfather" "Popy" "Shotgun" Shion, and Team Alive, led by our Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End, Athena. So, Ex-Pope –

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

SHION: (smiling) Please, call me Shotgun.

SHIRYU: (uncomfortable) Okay, Shotgun, how do you feel about leading the invasion into a place that you used to call home and killing the people you used to call friends?

SHION: I called them friends? That was surprisingly generous of me.

EXT. ATHENA'S STATUE

SHUN: Miss Saori, what is Your take on Shotgun's invasion plan?

ATHENA: Amusing. If that old fuck thinks he can upstage Me in pseudo leadership and pretentious self-sacrifice, he's in for a nasty surprise.

SHIRYU: Now, the audience is promised a huge, very moving, potentially earth-shattering plot twist by the Creator, Shotgun.

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

SHION: Oh yeah, it's brilliant: We plan to kill Athena, because She needs to enter Afterlife to kill Hades, and we need Her Blood to transform Her statue to Her armor.

HYOGA: …Interesting. What does the timeline look like?

SHION: We kill Her, then create Her armor, then give it to Her.

SHUN: I think there's something vaguely wrong with this action plan.

SAGA: He said he will iron out the logistics as we go along.

SHURA: Go along…as in dying left and right?

SHIRYU: (changing subject) How earth-shatteringly ingenious! What are the chances of them succeeding, Mu?

INT. ARIES TEMPLE

MU: They will be destroyed unless they lower the difficulty level to "Baby Mode for Babies."

HYOGA: Er…what are the chances of you succeeding, Team Dead?

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

CAMUS: It's certainly not impossible. I mean, we are kind of strategic about this. Like, one of the most common misconceptions is that Deathmask and Aphrodite are a team. They are not, but this time they do officially team up for the first time ever. I think the fans will be very pleased, and the good will created will bless us and give us some much needed good luck.

Behind him, the TWO PROBABLY EVIL EX-GOLD SAINTS are bickering.

DEATHMASK: Maybe, just maybe, one day you will use your balls to realize that growing flowers isn't anywhere as manly as you'd think. Oh I forgot, YOU DON'T HAVE THEM! Suck it, slut!

APHRODITE: Jesus, it's been ten minutes since we met and I hate you already.

SHURA: (muttering) I'd rather all eighteen of us storm our way in at the same time. Strategy, my ass!

SHUN: (shouting over him) Wow! So just how motivated are you to fight them, Aldebaran?

INT. TAURUS TEMPLE

ALDEBARAN: (contemplative) You know, it comes to a point in time when you realize that most of your life has been spent on meaningless pursuits, but somehow you are lucky enough to have the thing you desire most? That should make me feel good, right?

SHUN: Er…how motivated are YOU to fight them, Shaka?

INT. VIRGO TEMPLE

SHAKA: Highly. Does Saga remember the time when he insulted my religion? I remember that. I remember that all the time!

SEIYA: But…what if it looks like they are doing it for a good reason?

SHAKA: Ooooh, the sweet sound of their bones cracking when I run my Wheel of Reincarnation over them! Mwa ha ha ha ha!

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

SAGA: I don't regret it! I was right! That was what mattered! Shaka can take it like a man or live in his delusions created by mankind's obsessive need to find meaning in a meaningless, wholly physical world due to the natural selection of organisms that required perception of illusionary control and continuity! I don't care if it kills me!

SHURA: Shut up, Saga! Are they saying that if we admit we're really, really sorry, they will let us pass peacefully?

INT. LEO TEMPLE

AIOLIA: Oh sure, if Saga makes up for the thirteen years of painful ostracism and self-blame that I endured.

INT. ARIES TEMPLE

MU: Well, Saga is sure as hell gonna pay for killing my Master and being a generally repugnant person.

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

DEATHMASK: So…what if we give them Saga's corpse as a peace offering?

INT. LEO TEMPLE

AIOLIA: Oh, I'm so sorry. I should've mentioned that my compensation requires some time travel.

INT. ARIES TEMPLE

MU: Just kidding. I love making all of you suffer equally, and I won't stop at torturing Saga alone.

INT. SCORPIO TEMPLE

MILO: To be honest, I don't care about murdering Saga. I care about humiliating Camus.

INT. TAURUS TEMPLE

ALDEBARAN: (sighs) I've never noticed that the stars in the Sanctuary can be so bright. It's almost calming. Makes me realize in this truly wonderful universe there are things bigger than myself.

SHUN: Now we will tackle the burning issue that all the viewers have! Does your resurrection change your view on life and death?

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

CAMUS: Well, it's definitely cooler out here. And I think I do get my book published.

SHURA: Huh?

CAMUS: Okay, I see you do not get the joke. Let me explain. You see, I was in this place where was full of fire, smoke, torture and anguish, right? And those guys – you know, the ones with the really silly horns and big red forks and thorny lashes? They were whipping us, and I say us because I was one of the many writers who were chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop, scribbling frantically, ready for a futile publisher meeting that would be in five minutes.

SAGA: I don't think that really happened.

CAMUS: (frustrated) Well…

DEATHMASK: So, what's the point?

CAMUS: This is a joke, Goddamn it! This is my one-shot attempt at a joke that is not associated with water and you spoiled it! I'm going to watch Atlantis: The Lost Empire and sink the Sanctuary into the ocean!

INT. AIRES TEMPLE

MU: It's self-defeating. Those people just don't get it: Isn't life precious because you get one and only one life?

INT. TAURUS TEMPLE

ALDEBARAN: Oooh, I'd like to believe that.

SHIRYU: What do you guys think?

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

DEATHMASK: Look, there are people who will tell you life is beautiful because it's only once. They will tell you that the shorter a life, the more precious it becomes. Those people are either trying to kill you or are dumbasses.

SAGA: I will come out and say: I really, really like living. I can't help it. We humans are hard-wired to be addicted to living. Especially after experiencing Death.

CAMUS: Living is poetic. It's like flowing down a beautiful river that hopefully never meets a waterfall.

SHURA: Look, living is time. Time is money. Can you get enough money? No. Therefore, you can't get enough living.

APHRODITE: It actually depends on the opportunity cost of holding money. You see, if there are other assets readily available for inve –

SHURA: What is your problem?

SHION: I observed an interesting pattern in my two hundred forty-three years of living: Life was very precious just as I began to live. Then time passed, and you know what I found? That life became EVEN MORE precious. Now I got resurrected and am living on borrowed time, and oh boy, there is no life more precious than this. (via telepathy) Look, Dohko, I can hear them without hearing aids! And run around without a walking stick! Top THAT, you shuffling skeleton!

DOHKO (OLDER VERSION): (muttering) You're gonna be so sorry for saying that.

HYOGA: (troubled) Uh, wow, I didn't know you guys liked living so much. Now, just to put you on the spot: you wouldn't really betray Athena for it, right?

SAGA: (offended) How could you ask that? What, do I look like the type of person who is terrified of Hell and its everlasting, mentally-scarring, excessive, incoherent punishment scheme that makes him question every single belief that he holds dear and prefers to live forever if Hades keeps His promise and Athena doesn't seek revenge?

APHRODITE: Absolutely not, not unless I consult my lawyer and clearly and exhaustively define "peaceful, fulfilling living as interpreted by any living, reasonable, mobile, natural person who earns more than 2 million USD after-tax income per year, has no debt and lives in present-day United States, zip code 90210"!

SHION: Nothing less than eternal youth and being the Catholic Pope can make me betray Athena, Hades! (pause) Again: "Eternal Youth," and "Being the Catholic Pope."

SEIYA: (hurriedly) Great! For the last segment of our program, please answer this exciting question! Are you ready, Team Alive?

INT. ARIES TEMPLE

MU: I'm so ready. I can't wait to see how my Crystal Wall, reflecting those idiots' own attacks, fries Saga, freezes Camus into a popsicle and grinds Shura into fine zombie dust!

INT. TAURUS TEMPLE

ALDEBARAN: (forced smile) Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. Getting ready to be killed off for no reason is not easy, but I've managed.

MU: (via telepathy) What are you talking about?

ALDEBARAN: That I cherish the short time we've spent together, Mu. Thinking back, there were times of distress and despair in my life, but because you were there with me I would not change a single thing.

INT. LEO TEMPLE

AIOLIA: I guess so. Camus is a decent enough man, but I can't decide whom I hate more, Saga or Shura. Speaking of which, why isn't my brother showing up, given, you know, the Plot Twist? (tearing up) Doesn't he miss me? Why isn't he doing this? Is pretending to kill Athena too much to ask? There would have been so many dramatic opportunities!

INT. VIRGO TEMPLE

SHAKA: (loading his CGI films of Horror Illusions and getting his stereo system ready) Bring it on, you miserable undead bitches! Be ready to shit your pants!

INT. SCORPIO TEMPLE

MILO: Pretty much ready. My favorite pastime is watching Camus embarrass himself, but watching him get torn apart by Shaka's sick sense of humor is pretty good, too.

SHUN: What about you, Team Dead?

EXT. SANCTUARY ENTRANCE

CAMUS: (looks up at the Sanctuary) That's a long up-hill climb. This is…what, 50 miles? And you said we have twelve hours, tops? Therefore, we'll spend at least five hours on the road, which gives us less than seven hours to strategize, go to the bathroom, rest, eat and kill at least six annoyingly powerful people. (pause) Isn't the deadline a bit tight? Can't we apply for an extension? What's the point of giving us an opportunity if there's no way we can succeed?

APHRODITE: (sighs) I hope just by trying really hard is enough to redeem my past sins. (bitterly) Which are actually identical to Shaka's, that devastatingly lucky bastard!

DEATHMASK: Screw redemption. I hope this is enough to redeem my fighting skills.

APHRODITE: In which case…oh, fuck it!

He suddenly kisses CAMUS on the lips.

APHRODITE: There. Now I'm willing to die without a good reason.

CAMUS: I've just had the strangest sensation of being alive. (pause) Which is impossible, because I'm already technically alive.

SHURA: Wait, can we even kill Athena? Don't we require some sort of special weapon to wound Her, She being an immortal and all? Did Shion give us that weapon?

SAGA: Well, we all know Shion's plan is kind of a joke. Thus, when we get there, here's what we're gonna do: convince Athena to wait for Shion to make Her Her Armor, THEN persuade Her to commit suicide to confront Hades. Via telepathy. It's gonna look like we're threatening Her when it's of course Her idea.

DEATHMASK: Then what?

SAGA: Then we hang out and chill before our time is up. Hopefully Athena didn't change the lock to the wine cellar, because I remember the key combination.

SHURA: Oh! I look forward to that. Just…don't get scared out of your wits and forget the script when you actually meet Her.

APHRODITE: Also, no need to offend Her by implying we know more than She does.

CAMUS: I know more than She does about water.

SAGA: (a long-suffering sigh) Yes, you do, Camus. Yes, you do.

SEIYA: Looks like they can't wait to start! Miss Saori, would You like to close this program for us?

EXT. ATHENA'S STATUE

ATHENA is furiously working on another ambitious expansion plan, this time merging HELL into Her domain.

ATHENA: (looks up) What? Right. Enjoy the show. Whatever.

END