'Dr. Cox has a really nice butt.'
That was all JD could think about as he held himself above the linoleum floor, palms placed before him, knees bent and supporting half his weight. He was currently acting as a makeshift human bench for said Dr. Cox and doing, in his opinion, a pretty dern good job. Dr. Cox would probably agree, and say he was proud for little Juliana that she had finally found her calling in life.
"…so I want you to take Mrs. Keller and give her a biopsy. Do you understand there newbie?"
"Yes sir sumptuous McBuns!" JD chorused in reply.
"What did you just call me?" Dr. Cox glared.
"umm… Dr. Cox?" JD tried.
"Sheryl, I don't want you to ever call me that again. D'ya understand? Or should I dumb it down a bit? Cause if so, I don't think I actually know how to do that. And if that's the case, I think we're both in trouble, because newbie, I really need you to be able to understand me. Now, get me a biopsy on Mrs. Keller."
"But, your sitting on my back…."
"Do I honestly look like I care? Now, move newbie! Move!" Dr. Cox billowed as he opened a chart, never once standing up. JD began crawling towards the labs, figuring that if he got an intern to do the biopsy for him, with Dr. Cox on his back he could make it to the lab by the time the results had come in. Sumptuous McBuns was heavy….
"Newbie!" Dr. Cox whistled loudly. "I told you not to call me that again!"
"Are you a psychic!?" JD cried out, fighting the urge to fall into a JD Cox heap of tiredness and bitter, fuming anger.
"You fall down, and I kill you."
And JD believed him.
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"Why are you here?" Dr. Cox asked skeptically as he stared across the table to the young man who'd spent the day acting as his movable seat who had, remarkably, or perhaps unremarkably, considering who this was, not complained one bit the entire time.
"Well Perry, I'm here because I'm hungry." JD smiled at the man who had spent the day acting as though he, JD, were a movable seat, and had, remarkably, or perhaps unremarkably, considering who this was, not seemed to care one bit.
"That is not what I meant and you know it, Caroline. And who exactly gave you the right to call me Perry? Please tell me so I can beat their face in. Was it Jordan? It was Jordan, wasn't it? She's the one who invited you, too, wasn't she?" Dr. Cox put his head down into his hands. He wasn't really one for birthdays, but Jordan had talked him into actually going out to eat. Now he knew why. She was torturing him. For 'funsies', probably.
An awkward silence followed the tired, half hearted rant. Awkward for JD, a blessing from the God he didn't believe in for Dr. Cox.
"I would have been in Hufflepuff…" JD stuttered out, trying to fill said awkward silence.
"I actually don't care, newbie, what you are talking about, or even for that matter what hufflepuff is, but to be perfectly honest, it sounds like a fat transvestite. And if that's the case, then I really, really don't want to hear about it. Not that I want to hear about it if its not. I just want you to close your mouth, and if possible, you could shoot me before Satan's little helper gets here."
He was referring to Jordan, JD guessed. He never thought of her quite as 'Satan's little helper', though. It was more of Satan himself……… herself……. Whatever.. He was more preoccupied with the thought that, Hufflepuff really did sound like a fat transvestite… Dr. Cox always noticed things like that. Its because he was a god. Or a super hero. Or a magnificent eternal creature, like Lestat… Except without the blood drinking. That was more Dr. Acula's thing.
He still wished he'd gone to Hogwarts instead of that crappy summer magic school. But the American Magical Programs, or AMP, like the energy drink, didn't approve of full time magic classes. They believed in a meshing of the two, muggle and magical. Americans called muggles mundanes. JD had always liked to call them muggles, though. It made him feel British.
"Hey Perry, Perry's man/gal." Jordan smiled as she walked up. "I'm SO sorry I'm late. Traffic was a, oh, no dirty language in front of the baby."
"If traffic was such a b….. oh fine. If it was so bad then why, why, why are you STILL smiling about it. Admit it, you just wanted me to sit here with newbie in the hopes that I'd off myself. Go on. We all know, there's no point in lying."
"Actually, Per. I can't stop smiling. I just had botox. Man-girl." She announced, turning, "Take my son and, I don't know, try to keep your stupid away from him." JD took the offered, well, shoved, Jack from his mothers arms.
"Its okay Jackie, your safe from the boogie man now." JD whispered to the child.
"Clarissa! Do not call my son Jackie!" Dr. Cox ordered. Jack sneezed. A cup exploded.
"Oh." JD thought, "That seemed, familiar…"
Dr. Cox stared at his previously half empty glass of scotch, which was now a wet mark and various shards of glass. "What just happened?" Jordan continued to smile.
"So I bought you an ice cream cake. I found an adorable picture of you and your side kick sleeping, in each others arms." Jordan began.
"That was an accident! The room was dark, I was tired, I thought he was Elliot!" JD shouted. Dr. Cox twitched.
"I'm sure." Jordan continued smiling.
"Why does everyone keep saying that to me…." JD mumbled. Jack spit on him. Accidentally, of course.
