A Chilling Secret
Chapter 2
You know there is a stereotype out there that the male of the species, pretty much every species, just spends his days desiring to engage in unnecessary conflict to prove his superiority over others. Some believe this is a remnant of a genetic mating ritual that to prove the superiority of genes and make women more open to mating with the winner. If so, they claim, the need for this long ago became unnecessary.
I think that theory is pretty much a load of crap.
Sure, I know lots of guys willing to throw down, but usually it is more for entertainment than dominance. After the fight it's not uncommon for the two combatants to share beer and go on like nothing happened. Hell, I've heard in World War One a whole section of soldiers on both sides of the lines actually stopped on Christmas to play soccer together and share some food. That doesn't really fit with the brainless combatant image of men that the theory tries to project.
Now we women on the other hand are a completely different story. We are always scrambling for dominance over one another. We revel in the chance to move up the unconsciously established pecking order. The only thing is we fight our wars on much different battlefields and with much different weapons then men.
When a new woman enters our environment she is immediately judged a threat. Our eyes are drawn to them as we make a quick assessment of where she falls upon the pecking order ladder that we have established. Is she prettier than I am? How good is her fashion sense? How many men are noticing her? That and dozens of other little questions are quickly evaluated and catalogued in our minds so we can determine which rung on the ladder she is standing.
Those who lie far below us we tend to easily dismiss and not spend another moment thinking about. Those high above we admire for their success, but try not to think too much about so we don't get depressed. We do, however, secretly await any opportunity to revel in the downfalls of our superiors. Why do you think women's magazine articles spend more time on scandals of powerful women than on successes? Why do you think tabloids that show celebrity women at their worst sell out three times faster than scandal about men? It's what we want to read!
For those women who end up grouped in the same general range as we are though, the battle for dominance begins almost immediately and never ends, even if one publicly admits defeat. We start with simple things to knock them down a rung at a time. "Aren't you getting a little old to wear a skirt that short?" "Oh, how quaint, is that your grandmother's purse?" "Wow, I had a bad hair day like that once." "When we were dating, you ex-boyfriend told me about your eating disorder. I'm so sorry." If physical appearance does not look to be the best attack vector, we can in a heartbeat transfer to career or relationships as well without the men around us even understanding the war taking place right before them. Back and forth we go taking shots and tallying our points until one side wins the round, which is usually signaled by the other side having an immediate need to be somewhere else.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because that is the normal way women fight our wars.
Only on rare occasions, such as now, does the game go directly to physical confrontation. Unlike guys, though, when we go physical there are no unwritten rules like avoiding shots to the groin. It's truly a last woman standing event.
"Okay, so what is the plan here girls?" I asked Body Paint and Tape Girl as I did a quick assessment of them. No weapons visible and nowhere to hide any so that meant if things got physical it was going to be a straight up catfight. Both stood confidently telling me they had danced that particular tango before. But hey, so had I.
From my other senses I detected that both had a fairly average magical capability they could draw upon, which made them more deadly than a pair of human women, but nothing I was too concerned over. In my experience most Fae had one or two signature spells they relied upon for intimidation or, in the case of these two, probably just torture. Such spells rarely were useful in a full out spell battle though.
"We simply plan to stay right here blocking the doorway until you starve yourself to death or you try to force your way past." Tape Girl said while evaluating her jet black fingernails. She must have had blood or something on them because I could see her trying to scrape something off. "of course if you were to try to force your way past us that would look like an attack. In that case we would merely be defending ourselves so as to not break the Queen's commandment."
Not a whole lot of creativity there, but then again the simplest plans were always the most effective. It did tell me that neither of the two thought very highly of me, or rather both thought incredibly highly of themselves. On their personal ladders, I wasn't on any of the visible rungs. Well I might as well take the time do a quick emotional workup on the pair since there was no immediacy to the danger they posed.
"You know I'm a wizard, right?" I called forth my magic to set a little flame upon my hand as a demonstration. Winter folk tend to fear fire so I could probably just hold it up, for light, not as a threat, and get them to back up and give me room. Unfortunately, the spell failed leaving me with just an open hand and a look of shock and embarrassment on my face. That had not happened in a long time.
"A human wizard…" Tape Girl stressed human with a double portion of disdain at my demonstration, or lack thereof.
"And not a very good one it seems." Body Paint added this, I sensed, more to have the last word over her friend than to put me down further.
"Sure, but my point is that all I have to do is open a doorway and I can be back on Earth."
Tape Girl stopped checking her manicure and turned to me. "I think you will find that is not an option in this case. The other side of this room would deposit you at your North Pole, but hundreds of feet underwater." She smiled. "Please warn me if you plan to be this foolish as I don't want my new birthday dress to get ruined by your suicide."
Dress? Really? It's a friggin role of electrical tape! If that qualifies as high fashion here, then I need to tell my dad his tool box is now a rival for Versace. Still that meant the door was my only means of escape.
Well, except for what Lea said about being attuned to places of snow and ice. I guess I could pop myself out of here to Alaska or Greenland with just a thought. But running away from these two would just extend, or worse increase, my problem. Pretty soon word would get out about my chickening out and the whole Winter Court would be trying to get in the way of my search just to frustrate me. I needed to do something that would intimidate these two, and serve as an example to the rest to leave me alone. I also had to do this without actually attacking them. That was a tricky balancing act, but one I was happy to try after so many recent fights of the other type.
"You guys know that the Winter Knight is my very close friend, right?" When in doubt name drop was always a good, nonviolent option. I wonder if they had ever heard of Marcone?
"How close?" This time Body Paint jumped in and cut off Tape Girl, much to the latter's annoyance. The sexual innuendo in those two words though was nearly dripping. And they say that guys' brains are wired to only focus on one subject.
"No, not like that…" I answered reflexively and awkwardly. I felt their disdain for me only increase. "I mean it could be like that, only we never seem to have…" Can I get some more awkward? Wow I was back in high school all over again.
"What a disappointment. I thought you might be able to tell us where his tastes lie. He seems a delectable morsel that I wish to sample. Perhaps, I will dine and let YOU know just what you're missing." Tape Girl's voice now turned to pity for me. Her plans for Harry were obviously truthful from her body's emotional reaction. And if anything, her friend had even bigger plans in that area. Oh yeah, it was so on now!
I sat down on the floor to look as unintimidating as possible and called on my other skills. "I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you." I responded to Tape girl without making eye contact. Instead I focused on the various emotions the pair of them were emitting. Fae creatures tend to be driven completely by their emotions, so for me this was like sifting through a rainbow. I was good at this. "I happen to know you are not his type."
There it is! I plucked her black string that represented pride. Okay, it was more like a rope in her case, but the point was I flicked it.
"WHAT?" Tape Girl's reaction was a bit louder that I had expected. That string was obviously connected to an emotional amplifier. That was too bad for her. "Look at me. I am perfection itself. Do you truly think any man, or woman for that matter, would deny what I offer?"
I kept following it. Wow that black string wove through everything in her didn't it? "Look, I'm just saying you should not get your hopes up. I mean sure, I think you are pretty hot, were I to have such inclinations, but Harry's very particular in that regard. Maybe you should just work on being friends first, or get him drunk and see where it goes from there."
"Just because he found you undesirable doesn't mean he will find us the same." Body Paint's rainbow was equally diverse, but her dominant strings for her were a bit different. There was this gray colored one of doubt she tried to conceal under the others. It seemed a great place to start the next part of the song.
Pluck.
"Oh, I wasn't talking about you." I held my face still to not give anything away. "I'm pretty sure Harry would be all over you if he could get you alone and away from your friend there." I nodded to Tape Girl for emphasis. "After Mab's little transmission to the world during his…aaahhh…I guess I'd call it ascension…he tends to be a bit shy about public displays of affection. I can't really say I blame him." The mindless banter was to allow time for my words to sink in.
"WHAT?" Tape Girl got it first and jumped right back in. "You're suggesting the wizard would choose her over me?" Well lookie lookie, here is where the green jealousy string crosses the black string.
"Hey, I'm not trying to judge or anything. Like I said I'd be all over you if I played that way. I've just been around Harry a lot and I know his tastes." I took a breath. "Let me give you an example. This one time he was going out to one of the local singles bars for some action with his White Court vampire brother Thomas. Before they left Harry had some very specific directions for his brother. He said as his wingman there were only two things he wanted to hear Thomas say all night. First was 'Harry you're under attack and your coat is on fire.' And second was 'I'll take the fat one.'"
I looked Tape Girl in the eyes.
PLUCK
"Just so you know, when you are standing next to your friend, in his eyes you'd be the fat one." I'm so glad Harry taught me how to play poker.
"WHAT?!"
My God, Tape Girl needs to work on her vocabulary. You would think beings that are nearly immortal could expend a little energy to improve themselves. But what are you going to do? Well, back to her rant.
"You're saying that your precious human wizard…" Again she added the double dose of disdain on the word human. "…would choose to be with this creature…" And let's place a single dose of disdain on the word 'creature,' though it really does not need it, as she pointed accusingly at her friend. "…instead of with me?"
I followed the pointing finger. Let's see if I boost up this blue confidence line on Body Paint up to eight, and pluck the smaller pride line, what will that sound like?
"Creature?" Hmmm… Not quite enough confidence. Let's take that one up to ten. "CREATURE?!"
Yeah, there it is!
"Only trolls would choose you over me." You go Body Paint! I didn't see that troll thing coming.
"WHAT?!" Seriously Tape Girl, let me get you a thesaurus. "You dare to suggest I would take a troll to me bed?"
"No, I am pretty sure you already have." Body Paint turned to face her friend directly. I stayed seated but slid back a bit further still. "Unless the real reason your room smells like a troll cave is because of you."
Nice! Well in a Winter Court smack down kind of way. Pretty sure that is a line that I wouldn't find much use for at home.
SLAP!
Tape Girl's blow sent her friend falling back on her rear end. How exactly a Fae could make even something like that look graceful is one of the great mysteries of life. But graceful or not, she still crashed down on her ass and was not pleased to do so.
Tape Girl did not stop with just a blow. She went for the double whammy! "Have respect on how you speak to your betters!"
Okay I turned off my subtle magic and slid a bit further back to enjoy the rest of the show.
Body Paint sprang back up. I could feel her drawing in magic for a spell. "I see no one here who fits that description troll whore." I missed the next word but whatever it was cause two shining daggers of razor sharp ice to appear in each of her hands. It was a visually impressive spell but a lot of magic expended for something she could have just drawn from her pocket, well if she had pockets that is. She pointed these magical icicles at her companion as an obvious threat against her life.
Tape Girl pulled in her own magic. This time I heard the words. "Frigidis Draconis!" A cone of frost erupted from her mouth as the last syllable was uttered.
Body Paint must have seen this all before. As her friend called out the words she dove to the ground but toward her opponent, trying to get under the spell and in the process in range to strike a blow of her own. The temperature in the room dropped fast as I scrambled to the side to make sure I was out of the line of fire.
Body Paint almost made it. Unfortunately the edge of spell caught her lower legs and feet, instantly turning them white with frostbite and then transforming them into solid ice. When they struck the ground the ice shattered in hundreds of shards.
But Body Paint's momentum of her dive carried her forward sliding along the floor. Because Tape Girl's magic had created a frost cloud in front of her own face, effectively causing self-induced snow blindness; she failed to note her partner's course and speed until she felt Body Paint's torso sliding between her legs. Before her mind could give the order to jump away from the danger, the twin icicle daggers drove into both of Tape Girl's inner thighs and Body Paint's remaining momentum ripped all the flesh away down to the bone as she slid just past her former friend.
Tape Girl collapsed to the ground right beside her. As both had suffered multiple vital arteries being severed, the last mutual competition the two shared was which one of them was going to bleed out first. I really had no preference in this case, so let's just call it a tie, shall we?
I waited a little bit to ensure they were both truly dead before I stood up and walked to the doorway. As a fan of horror movies, I knew one of the biggest mistakes a victim makes was walking within reach of the monster that was only playing dead.
I had just convinced myself it was safe when another voice called out and scared the bejesus out of me.
"That was well done." The approving tone from an elder Fae woman was not what I was expecting. Still as she stepped to the doorway I instinctively scrambling back away from her until I could assess the new situation. She noted my actions but seemed unconcerned, and stopped just outside and beyond the pair of remains, effectively blocking me in again.
That's just great! Was there a whole line of winter faeries waiting to take their place in line? If so, I might have to chance trying the Mantle's transportation spell just to get out of here.
She continued talking as if we were already engaged in a conversation. "Of course you did leave quite a mess, but that is to be expected from young ones like yourself." She eyed me up and then looked back at the bodies.
Well since she wanted to talk I might as well oblige her. There would be time for violence and explosions, if that became necessary, after we were done pretending to be polite. "And who are you, another one of the Winter Court planning to get in my way?"
"Me?" She looked shocked. "Absolutely not. You may call me Helga. My job is to clean up little messes, not create more." As if to prove her point, she waived her hands and a set of animated brooms, dustpans, mops, and buckets appeared and began to tackle the remains of the fight while Helga monitored their progress with a critical eye. The cleaning tools all knew they jobs and went about their work without complaint, though one of the mops did seem a bit testy to me.
I waited for Helga's next move but she seemed focused only on the task at hand leaving the two of us in an awkward silence. Have I mentioned I hate awkward silences? Okay so I guess it falls to me.
"Hey Mickey, don't you worry the sorcerer will get upset with you using his magical hat in this way?" Okay, I know, but in a situation like this I had to ask. I doubted I'd ever get the chance again.
She looked cross-eyed at me and then raised a graying eyebrow in judgment. Oh boy, not a Disney fan I guess. But thankfully she broke into a smile followed immediately by a deep belly laugh.
"I cannot recall the last time we had innocent wit, rather than directed biting humor spoken in these cold halls. Young ones today are far too serious, much like constipated ogres." She paused. "Have you ever encountered a constipated ogre my dear?"
I shook my head while trying to wrap my mind around a sentence that contained both the words constipated and ogre. As such I almost missed the rest of her compliment.
"You will certainly be a welcome change to these dreary halls Molly Carpenter. That is if you are successful in your quest."
"So, you know about my quest?" What am I saying? I'm pretty sure everyone in the Winter Court new about my quest. Hell with the death of both the Winter and Summer Ladies, I doubt there were few magical beings unaware of my quest.
"I do." Her words were cautious, and I noticed that for once I was not getting an immediate read on her emotions like I did with most other Fae. I looked a bit deeper and still came back with almost nothing. The sole exception was a sense of curiosity directed at me, which was probably the most natural, and least dangerous, emotion I could expect,
Based on this I decided to take a different tact. "So, you're not going to try and stop me?"
"Ah, Valhalla no, I most certainly am not." Valhalla? Oh, yeah got it. And since Fae cannot lie, her answer was rather comforting. At this rate I might just make it out of this room after all.
Speaking of which, I better take the opportunity while I have it then. I started to make my way toward her so I could be on my way. "Okay then, that's good because I have this deadline I have to meet. I also don't even have the first clue on where to begin, much less succeed." My goal was getting out of the Nevernever where things wanted to kill me, and then trying to figure out a plan.
She gave me a look of understanding just like my mother occasionally wore, well at least one that Charity wore on the rare occasions when she wasn't unhappy with my current taste in clothes. "If it is of any comfort to you, I can tell you that both Mab and Maeve were just as nervous upon starting out on their own quests as you are now." The very thought of a Winter Fae offering a nice word of encouragement through me for a loop.
Then the truth and implications of her words hit me. "Wait a minute, are you saying you were around when Mab and Maeve each came to power?" For some reason I has always assumed they were the first, and everything else sort of sprung up later.
"I was indeed."
That made no sense to me so I blurted things out without really thinking. "Then how are you just a cleaning woman? Are you really a cleaning woman?" There were other things with long lifespans, dragons for instance. Maybe I was being set up after all.
Helga merely looked perplexed. "I don't understand your question."
Okay time for blunt. "Look, in my limited experience, for something to live as long as you claim it has to be pretty badass. The oldest vampires are the toughest. The oldest dragons are pretty much invincible. How is it that someone who has lived as long as you claim to is merely serving as a maid? Why aren't you running a small kingdom and having lots of servants bowing down to you instead?"
"First of all, I don't only clean. I also cook! And I am very good at it." She said with pride. "But I see where your misconception lies. While it is true that for those who scramble for power, you either succeed or life is violently short…" She pointed to the last bits of mess at her feet. "…those who take up less aggressive lifestyles to not face the same survival of the fittest conditions. I am quite confident that in your world Kings and Queens are rarely the ones with the longest lifespans."
Okay, that was true. Wasn't the oldest living person currently some fisherman in Japan or something? It's not like cleaning women went to war with each other for power or glory, so why shouldn't they live long lives? It was something worth remembering if I actually succeeded on my quest.
"To tell you the truth, I have watched Mab and Maeve perform the duties of their office for centuries and am glad to not have to shoulder such responsibility. I prefer to do a few small tasks right, like keeping rooms clean, or making a wonderful dinner, than try to accomplish grand things. I leave the world shattering plots to those with larger egos than my own." The last was tossed out as a minor rebuke of my bias, and perhaps a caution if I succeeded on my quest. Speaking of, maybe she could help with that.
Helga was now evaluating the cleaning job her cleaning tools had done and pointing out a few areas that could use a bit more work when I interrupted her. "If you have been around so long, do you know Winter's Secret?" I figured it didn't hurt to ask. "Or I'd settle to know where Maeve and Mab went to learn the Secret at least?" It was a pretty big world, so a first step in the right direction would be a huge help.
Helga ignored me directed the last mop to scrape away the only remaining streak of red on the now otherwise pristine floor. I had been too distracted to see what became of the rest of the remains, and in truth I didn't really care to know. I assumed feeding an army of trolls and ogres, among other things, was not an easy task.
Only once the mops and brooms had finished their tasks, leaving the ice once more free of any trace of blood that had been spilled did she choose to answer my question. With a wave of her hand, the cleaning tools all disappeared and she focused once more on me.
"I do indeed know of a course that will lead to discovering the secret." She said slowly and cautiously. "Like all such paths that lead to power, this one has many dangers that you will need to overcome, both familiar and unfamiliar. It will most certainly require great things of you if you are to succeed. And..."
I was pretty sure where this was going. "Let me guess, you're going to tell me 'all magic comes with a price.'" While I knew from personal experience that was true, that catch phrase had become way too popular and overused in the last few years.
"It does." She nodded.
"And what will you charge me?"
"If you start down the path I offer, then you choose the price to be paid, not I."
"Wait, so you're saying I choose how much your help is going to cost me?" That did not sound Fae-like.
She shook her head, "No, my assistance is free."
Free? From a Fae? Was that even possible? "Okay, so what is the catch?"
"It is merely all that I have said, and all that you choose to give." What the heck did that mean? God the Fae can be so annoying!
Let's try this one more time so I can clarify. "If I ask you, you will show me the path to the Secret? There will be a cost, but not one you will demand of me. Have I got this right?"
"I will do one better because I like you young Molly Carpenter. I will place your first foot upon the path myself." I had an instant image of having my leg chopped off, but that was probably a remnant from the battle I'd just witnessed. She still was not projecting any hostile emotions, but then again I was still having trouble getting any read on her.
"And we can begin…"
"Immediately, if you so choose." She looked me over. "But you will need some food for the road."
She snapped her fingers and a Dukes of Hazard lunchbox appeared in her hands. It looked exactly like the one I had…okay…uuummmm…the one I had seen at a second hand store the other day. Alright, fine, I used to think Bo Duke was cute. Are you happy now? Can I get on with my story?
"I hope you like cake." She handed me the metal lunchbox and I could smell the aroma of chocolate coming from within. You aren't really surprised that chocolate has magical properties, are you?
She snapped again and two tea cups appeared in her hands. She offered the one in her right to me. Being cautious where the Fae and food are concerned I took the one from her other hand by pretending the lunchbox required me to do so.
"To your success!" Helga offered.
What the hell. I clinked my cup to hers and we both drank.
The first drips had only just touched my tongue when the feeling of magic-induced slumber came over me.
God, I can be so stupid!
