Disclaimer: Gossip girl and it's characters are not mine, only little Lydia and darling Sebastian but that's enough.
A/N: I'm still on holiday for awhile so updates will be fairly regular until I go back. I have an overall plan for this story if people enjoy it enough so once it starts getting angsty just remember there will be a happy ending for our youngest love birds. People have asked for more of the adults so here is some Blair/Chuck absurdity :P
R.I.P Sir Ed
"Sissy, I think purple would clash with the rest of the décor."
"But Blair darling purple is the 'it' colour of the year and considering this masquerade ball for the seniors will be the 'it' event of their final year I think it's only appropriate."
Blair took in a deep breath, she had never had much patience for Sissy DeMarco but considering she was on all the same committees as Blair including the PPP (parenting party-planning) board they were stuck together once again.
"Yes but the masquerade ball is traditional, elegant and I think a burgundy type red reflects that much more successfully. It's also the colour of passion and romance which I think the teenagers would like."
"Your teenager would all know about passion and romance wouldn't he?"
"Excuse me?"
"Oh no nothing dear. Well I guess since we can't decide between ourselves as the heads of the committee we'll have to put it to a vote in our meeting next Wednesday."
Blair felt compelled to mention it was only over the colour of table linen not the state of the free world but she also had to stand her ground with Sissy even if it was over something trivial, it was all about showing who had the power.
"Fine I'll talk to you then."
The actual ball in question wasn't for another couple of months but everything had to be booked well in advance when every other rich senior was hiring out the best caterers and venues for their own end of high school celebrations. It also took the nine socialite mothers on the committee weeks to decide over anything with everyone wanting their own way and the word 'compromise' so foreign it may as well have been Russian. It was times like these she wished Serena was more involved when she could have had a trusted ally going into the snake pit with her but Serena found them boring.
Blair had sold her fashion line to her mother a year ago and had since more or less been a house wife. She was sick of being too busy to take Adele shopping or hang out with Seb, she wanted time to be able to watch them grow up rather than turn up one day to their 21st birthday party regretting all the wasted time when she could have been bonding.
Chuck was supportive of the idea if it meant increased well being for his wife and children. Blair had never needed to work in the first place, now she had satisfied her ambitions he couldn't think of anything better than having his wife greet him at the door with a gin and tonic every night. It was what all her friends in their social circle were doing (although a few were trophy wives half the age of their spouses) and their husbands had never seemed happier.
Once Blair had stopped working it was so easy to fill her day she often wondered how she managed to get anything done when she had a career. She learnt lots of new recipes to try on Chuck in the evenings, kept the house clean, walked their spoodle dog Austin and looked after her children. That took time but they were just the basics; she also shopped, joined every community committee and club known to man and visited all her friends in similar positions. She even helped Serena out at the modelling agency when they were short of hands. Overall, Blair felt more fulfilled than she thought she'd be.
"Dylan is hot dad!"
Chuck laughed quietly as he put away their coats, they had just got home from Chuck's office, Seb went there to study in an empty office as he found it quieter than school and home.
"Seb you have a girlfriend."
"True but I can still fantasise."
"Don't let your mother hear you, your reputation as a heartbreaker doesn't sit well at her social committees when half the members are mothers of heartbroken young girls."
Blair happened to be at the top of the stairs listening intently to the conversation in the hallway.
"She's too narrow minded and uptight, if I wasn't her son I'd say she wasn't getting laid enough."
"She's doing just fine, that's all you need to know."
Blair wasn't so much outraged as she was panicked about Dylan. Dylan was a guy Blair had never met but who was Chuck's personal assistant. Chuck didn't even call him Dylan anymore he just nicknamed him 'the wonder kid' due to his cunning and amazing aptitude for everything. According to her husband he was also good looking and though Blair never asked it seemed obvious he was gay when Chuck mentioned he had broken up with his latest boyfriend.
"Hey guys!"
Blair tried to descend the stairs gracefully and push panicked thoughts of her son's recent homosexuality out of her mind.
"Hey mom."
Both Seb and Chuck looked uncomfortable after their discussion of her and hoped she hadn't heard.
"How are you today my beautiful busy socialite?"
"More or less fine. Who knew fighting over table linen and decorations could be as stressful as fashion week at work?"
"I hope you gave as good as you got."
Blair gave him a sexy smile.
"Always."
Seb felt even more uncomfortable so snuck away to the kitchen to see Adele.
"Chuck can I talk to you in private for a moment?"
"Of course, I'm intrigued."
She pulled him quickly into one of the bathrooms on the first floor.
"So Seb likes Dylan does he?"
Chuck mistook Blair's anxious tone to be about Seb's dating habits rather than homosexual tendencies.
"Don't worry I told him my work colleagues are off limits."
Blair couldn't believe Chuck wasn't more surprised, she knew he was open minded about sex and wasn't judgemental but having a gay son was a lot different than being okay with the sexuality in general.
"That's hardly reassuring! Aren't you more confused, more concerned? I mean it's come completely out of left field!"
"Seb's right you really need to loosen up, he was just making an observation he's not exactly planning a seduction. That's when we'd have to say something."
"Maybe you're right. Who am I to judge? I mean he hasn't made a statement or anything so it could just be a phase, a little experimentation! I'm surprised he was so nonchalant in mentioning it but I'm glad he feels he can be honest with us. No, it will be fine right?"
Chuck took one look at Blair's wide eyes through her insane babbling and decided to finally shut her up by crushing his mouth against hers.
"Chuck!"
"What?"
"I'm trying to resolve a family issue and you're making out with me in bathrooms like it was college!"
"So you don't want me to?"
Blair frowned.
"The children are in the kitchen."
"Yes or no?"
"My mind is still reeling!"
"Make up your mind, I either leave to go and change or I stay and get you all hot and bothered before dinner."
Blair sighed, she would never be immune to his husky voice or his hot breath tickling her neck.
"Fine but-"
"No more talking."
Blair couldn't even protest, he was soon back to kissing her up against the sink. She automatically pushed herself against him as his hands went into her hair. This was the sort of welcome home Chuck could definitely get used to.
It was beyond embarrassing, Blair couldn't think of a more awkward or humiliating experience in all her thirty six years of life. That was saying something considering the scandals she suffered through growing up. This really took the fucking cake.
"Uh she had a nightmare, I was just getting her a glass of water."
Seb didn't know what was wrong with him, he wasn't moving! Luckily he was kind enough to cover his little sister's eyes with his hand so she only got a brief glimpse of the horrifying sight in front of him. Why did he need to explain himself? He should have just bolted out of the kitchen straight away but his traitorous feet were glued to the tiles.
"Seb why are you covering my eyes?"
Chuck groaned, a very different type from the ones he was emitting only a few minutes ago.
"Seb get the fuck out of here!"
"Daddy swore!"
"Chuck!"
Blair was burning with embarrassment. She would have leapt away from Chuck if he hadn't been on top of her but that only meant revealing more nudity to her traumatised son. It was like when he was eight and this happened before, only at least it wasn't on top of the kitchen table and he was alone and wise enough to run away.
Seb had had his eyes closed for the last few moments willing the graphic images out of his memory. It was too late though, this experience was already being filed away in his brain under 'personal distress and suffering'. Finally, he found himself backing out the room with Adele clutched to him protectively, still blinded.
After being all hot and bothered before dinner, Blair was counting down the minutes until Seb and Lydia went to bed. She was so unusually turned on that she couldn't even wait to be in the privacy of their bedroom, which resulted in the indiscretion on the kitchen table.
Seb would never eat there again, no way was anything he was planning to eat going to touch the surface where his mother's bare ass had been slid up and down it practically causing her friction burns. He really regretted teasing his father about Blair not getting laid enough, now this was his punishment.
"I don't have my water!"
Seb had put Adele back to bed.
"I'll get some from the bathroom tap in a minute."
"Why did you cover my eyes earlier? Why were mommy and daddy naked on the kitchen table?"
He hated his parents for not getting a fucking room that wasn't used as public eating space, none of this would have happened if they'd kept it in their pants long enough to ascend the stairs.
"They were just mucking about."
"Why?"
"You know what? Why don't you ask mom and dad once I've left for school?"
"Okay!"
His parents could clean up their own mess, Seb already had a headache, he wasn't about to worsen it by explaining the birds and the bees to his seven year old sister.
"Night Adele."
"Love you Seb."
"Back at you little one."
"If that hadn't been the best sex we've had in quite some time I would be physically assaulting you right now!"
Chuck laughed huskily.
"Isn't that how it all started? You couldn't stop physically assaulting me before we managed to get to bed?"
"Shut up! It's all your fault with the bathroom make out session."
"What so you're blaming me for your lack of self control?"
"Well I will not make that mistake again."
Chuck clasped her bra back up for her and kissed her shoulder.
"Oh please do."
"How can you find this funny?"
"Someone has be the comic relief."
Blair giggled, she couldn't help it. They laughed into each other for a few moments both realising being caught in the act by their children felt the exact same way as getting caught by their parents.
"Should we go talk to them?"
Chuck did up his trousers.
"No I think it will be just fine if we never speak of it again, pretend it never happened, it's not as if Seb's going to bring it up."
"Good point, repression all around sounds perfect!"
"You say you're Mr Bass's wife?"
"Yes."
The plump middle aged receptionist looked her up and down. Blair was certain the gucci outfit and louis vuitton bag would surely give her away but with all the polyester that woman was wearing Blair wasn't sure she'd even recognise labels. Sylvia was a well-meaning woman but she was behind the times, she used to be Chuck's father's personal assistant and a bit like a surrogate aunt to him growing up so he hired her to man the phones more out of kindness than anything else.
"You've never been here before."
Blair groaned impatiently.
"That's because I have a life."
She had never been to Chuck's offices before mainly because she liked to separate her home life with him from his job as he tended to be completely different and hardly any fun when working. Sure she had been to company parties but they were always held at his father's New York hotel which Sylvia rarely attended (claiming to be past it).
"Okay then go on through, his office is right by the break room at the back. Just look for the huge glass panelling."
Blair smiled.
"Thank you."
She opened the large doors on to Chuck's work floor armed with a basket full of home made goodies for his lunch and the curiosity to meet Dylan. She hated being out of the loop and was too impatient to wait until the next work function, she wanted to suss him out early on in the game.
It wasn't hard to find her husband's office, it was almost the length of an entire wall and was practically a conference room. There was a desk just out side of it which she assumed was Dylan's, feeling generous she took a muffin out of her basket and put it next to his computer.
"Surprise!"
She opened Chuck's door to find an annoyingly pretty young blonde standing by him laughing at something they were looking at on his computer screen. She was leaning forward to see whatever it was but Blair could see it was also a convenient way to display her ample cleavage. Luckily Chuck's eyes were on the screen and hadn't notice the boobs heaving up and down by his ear.
"Blair?"
The blonde's smile froze on her face but she quickly recovered.
"Is this the elusive Mrs. Bass? I've heard so much about you!"
For some reason being called Mrs. Bass by this perky infant made her feel old. She also didn't like the way this stranger sauntered up and offered her a hug like a valued friend, like Blair should know who she was. Instead Blair put out her hand, never forgetting her manners, which Dylan shook enthusiastically.
"Really?"
"Of course! I mean the photos of his kids on the desk prompt questions after all, most clients assume he's too young to be a father of a teenager and married."
Blair smiled politely.
"And who might you be?"
"Oh sorry! I'm Dylan Saunders his personal assistant."
Chuck had yet to utter much, instead letting Dylan introduce herself while he overcame his surprise at her appearance and saved his spreadsheets.
"Dylan."
Chuck smiled.
"Here's the wonder kid in the flesh."
Dylan rolled her eyes.
"If he wasn't such an awesome boss I'd scold him for over exaggerating."
Blair found everything fitting into place before her. Dylan was a woman, so Seb was just like always only with appalling taste. Dylan was so obviously fake! Now she knew why Chuck hadn't corrected her on the obvious mistake, after all it was less suspicious if his wife thought his PA who he spent more time with than with her was a man.
"Okay well it was nice to meet you Dylan. Could I speak to Chuck alone please?"
"Sure thing."
Dylan sauntered by, displaying her perfect figure to it's full potential and Blair now wished she'd kept the muffin to herself. Dylan would probably just throw it up after anyway, she seemed the type.
"What are you doing here?"
Blair put her basket on his desk and put her hands on her hips.
"You don't sound pleased to see me."
"No I am I'm just surprised, I have a lot of work to do too."
"Fine then I wont try and be helpful from now on, I'll just leave."
Blair knew she sounded like a petulant child but jealousy seemed to have overtook any sense of maturity.
"Don't be dramatic, I'm happy to see you. What's in the basket?"
"I made you lunch since I know you sometimes don't have time to eat."
Chuck peered appreciatively in the basket only to find gourmet salads and a savoury muffin. Chuck's lunches used consisted of very little vegetables and maximum fat and sugar to get him through the day. He was grateful though so he tried to smile about his rabbit food.
"Looks delicious."
"You're sleeping with Dylan aren't you?"
Blair's face was blank and Chuck laughed thinking she was joking.
"How did you go from considerate to suspicious that quickly?"
"It's a talent what can I say? So are you?"
Chuck frowned, it wasn't very funny anymore.
"No of course not."
"I was going for shock value to extract the truth."
"I don't know which to be offended about most, the lack of trust or the interrogation."
"Well you're the one that lied and told me Dylan was a guy, what am I supposed to think? I mean look at her she's like office barbie and you gush about her all the time!"
"I never said she was a guy I just called her Dylan which is also a girl's name or my favourite of 'wonder kid'. You're the one that assumed! She's a valued employee and a good friend and if you can't handle that then I think you should spend less time with those paranoid wenches you call friends."
Chuck was disgruntled, he was used to his wife's dramatics but this was his territory and being abused and accused in it pissed him off. This was his space away from Blair who even though he loved to death, could often be a pain in the ass. Now nowhere was sacred. When she first arrived he had hoped vainly she was going let him make love to her on his desk (the only place not christened) but now he didn't feel remotely attracted to her.
"Hey don't insult my friends!"
"Well don't insult me or your own intelligence."
Chuck was glaring at her angrily and she felt herself shrink in her manolo blahniks. What was wrong with her? She had come all this way to do something nice and now he was looking at her like she was the anti-Christ and she wasn't entirely sure she didn't deserve it.
"She is all over you though! Her plastic breasts are practically bursting from that poor excuse for a suit she got from whores-are-us. She's practically perfect according to your own admissions and I'm not supposed to worry?"
"Okay firstly don't talk about her like that, she's done nothing to you and doesn't deserve that kind of treatment, and secondly yes you shouldn't worry because you're my wife and she's my fucking PA! If you feel threatened by her than whatever but if you genuinely think I'd cheat on you than I'm not sure I can sit here and talk to you right now."
"The boss and his secretary, it's a cliché for a reason Chuck! Linda and Maxine both had their husbands leave them for less."
"Okay I think you should go, I'm getting a headache and I still have five hours of work to get done."
Blair wanted to apologize, she didn't really think he'd betray her but the panic coursing through her vains was clouding her judgement.
"Okay I'll see you tonight."
Chuck sighed as his wife left his office in a daze, Dylan waved goodbye and thanked her for the muffin but Blair didn't even notice. Chuck might have been amused or flattered about it all if he was still in high school and still an arrogant ass but he was thirty six for fuck sake! He was over all the games. He had manipulated, deceived and generally done despicable things in his time but even the worst hell raisers had to retire. He had done so decades ago so he didn't appreciate Blair treating him like she would have if he was still the seventeen year old prick.
"You're home."
Chuck put down his briefcase and took off his scarf as he approached his wife, they had both had time to calm down by the evening.
"So it would seem."
"Can you forgive me for being an insecure, neurotic bitch?"
"Well there would have to be an apology for forgiveness."
He was going to make her work for it.
"I'm sorry darling. For everything."
"What the fuck came over you?"
Blair ran a hand through her silky brown curls.
"I don't know I just I saw this gorgeous younger woman and freaked out. I'm thirty six, I don't feel it and today pretty much shows I don't act it but I'm practically forty! It's okay for you, men age like wine but soon I'll be this tired, old has-been with a husband who looks like Sean Connery and can still attractive all the Dylansof New York."
"You seriously believe that?"
"I don't know, not really but there's always a part of me that gives way to hysteria, you know that."
"Honey for a start old men look a lot more attractive with millions attached to them and you are flawless whether you think so or not. I'll love you no matter what you look like you're the mother of my children and my heart, it's you who has to accept that you wont always look like sex on legs. Besides, if you don't want to grow old gracefully there's always botox like all your friends."
Blair smiled.
"Good point. I think today my confidence just took a holiday so can we just forget the whole horrid outburst didn't happen?"
"What outburst?"
Blair kissed him tenderly.
"Thank you."
"But you coming to my office did put a delicious idea in my head for next time you feel like bringing me lunch."
Blair giggled, her body began to tingle in anticipation.
"Enlighten me."
The last few months up until Lydia's eighteenth birthday were a slow transformation for her. The relationship between Seb and herself improved, they didn't fight anymore and they even talked a bit now Seb was in a long term relationship with Becky. Since he was no longer a serial dater Lydia found him less heartless and Becky seemed nice enough despite having bitchy friends.
That wasn't the main landmark in her life journey though, no the strangest thing occurred, Lydia fell in love. It would have been a euphoric haze if it hadn't been Nathanial Archibald.
Nate, her mother's best friend.
Nate, her mother's ex-lover.
It was so soap-opera that she almost hoped it was a dream. She was only a woman after all though and Nate was the star of the upper east side so she didn't feel too abnomal about it.
"Oh my god Lydia."
Lydia nodded, she had kept it a secret for months before finally divulging it to Leanne whose eyes had practically doubled in size.
"I know."
"I mean I know you guys have been hanging out heaps but I thought it was because Nate likes the idea of you as a surrogate daughter."
Lydia shuddered at the thought, she felt sick and ashamed especially when picturing her own father's face. Disappointment wouldn't begin to describe his reaction.
"Leanne we aren't carrying on with some sordid affair it's only me being stupid enough to fall for him. He hasn't done anything to deserve censure but be overly generous and charming."
"Well you have good taste, I don't think I could think of hotter man of his age other than maybe Mr Bass."
"And Eric Bana."
They both giggled but Lydia still felt hopeless. She could do nothing about any of this, she was not going to throw herself at someone twice her age and feel foolish or worse actually achieve her seduction. She was so out of her depth, she never felt very sexy so the idea of deliberately trying to sleep with someone made her feel sick with anxiety.
"So what are you going to do?"
Lydia sighed.
"Not see him anymore, no more movies or dinners or anything else, that way I can maybe get over him."
"What about when your parents invite him around?"
"I'll be polite but detached."
They both doubted Lydia was capable of being detached about anything. Nate was so much older but yet she always found herself an equal in his presence.
Lydia wished her parents' friends didn't all look like they'd just walked out of a photo shoot.
"Have you ever be in love?"
Seb and Becky had just finishing having sex, it was always the time when she posed the serious questions with Seb being spent enough to let his guard down. His parents were out at a party as usual. Chuck didn't bother asking what his son planned to do home alone because it was the exact same thing Chuck did when he was home alone with Blair. Adele was sleeping over at her friend Sophie's house.
"What do you think?"
Becky sighed.
"I think you have."
Seb raised his eyes in surprise.
"Why's that?"
"Because someone so guarded and wearied being in a relationship means they learnt from something or have had their heart broken."
"No one has broken my heart Becky."
"You still haven't answered my question."
Seb ran his hand up Becky's thigh but she held it instead, she didn't want to be distracted from what she wanted to know. Seb softened at the pleading look in her eyes.
"I really don't know."
"How can you not know?"
"It's not like there's a criteria of symptoms you can check off to prove it's there."
"It's a gut feeling though, like you instinctively know."
Seb didn't want to continue this conversation now that he had the feeling Becky was both trying to confess her love for him and at the same time convince him he felt the same.
"Love is overrated anyway."
He didn't really believe that, love had been the most consuming and elevating feeling he had ever experienced, at least before everything changed.
"Wow you are the most unromantic person I know."
She turned over in disappointment, all Seb felt was relief.
Some of what he said might not have been completely honest but he had pushed everything down for so long and it was so deep inside of him that he could actually convince himself that love was a distant idea rather than the plague that pervaded his life.
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