AN- yes, I know; I'm taking absolutely ages with this whole updating thing, but right now, I'm sneaking on the computer. Gosh, parents are sooooo over dramatic- I throw a tiny fit (god, I was only ranting for like, an hour) about something my stupid, adopted brother did and they take my laptop off me for a month! So anyways, we're having problems at home (now it's my brother's turn to be over dramatic by insisting he be allowed to send a letter to the government or something to see if they can tell him who his real parents are. When that didn't work, he demanded my parents tell him who his biological 'rentals are…Jesus…).

Anyways, enough about me, this chapter is for (*drum roll*) Captain Awesome (gosh, I am sooooo jealous of that name) who is played by (another *drum roll*) OJD- Obsessive Jasper Disorder!!!!

On with the story!

Disclaimer- because I don't want to get sued, I shall admit that I do not own Twilight (*sigh*)

Chapter 2- Captain Awesome

Bella's POV-

I shuffled some of the papers around (just like they do on TV) so I could pretend to loom smart. Then, I looked up, feigning surprise as the camera zoomed in on me. Clearing my throat and putting on a cheesy smile, I said, "this programme is interrupted by-,"

"WHOO!!" screamed a random seventy year-old dude sat in the live audience. "YEAH! THIS IS SO EXCITING! GO BATMAN! WHOO!!!!"

Then, he jumped up, threw down a bowl of porridge (Weetabix) and hobbled out of the room.

Everybody stared at the door which was swinging shut behind him. I raised my eyebrows before clearing my throat again.

"Err, anyways, as I was saying, this programme is interrupted by-,"

"BELLA!!!" screamed Emmett suddenly, appearing out of thin air.

I sighed and gave him The Look.

He ignored The Look and held up a black bundle.

"BELLA, YOU NEED TO GET CHANGED, NOW!!!" he yelled so loudly that Alice started handing out fluffy pink earplugs.

"Emmett, stop yelling at me as if I've got AID's or something. Now, look at this logically; if I leave, we would need another host," I said thoughtfully.

I pretended to stroke a beard and Emmett dropped his act of being Special Needs and copied me but when I gave him The Look again, he decided to stroke a moustache instead (he literally started to stroke a guy's beard (Norwegian)).

Suddenly, there was a small crash, a few sharp sounds (that sounded suspiciously like slaps) and the doorman, door step and actual door flew off its hinges and out the window.

"NOOOO!!! NOT THE DOOR! I SHALL SAVE YOU!!" yelled a little fat kid before throwing himself out of the window after the door (and doorman and door step).

Everyone (including the live audience) turned back to look at the doorway.

An awesome looking teenage girl stood there (wearing a yellow eye patch and red cape with green All-star Converse), hands on hips.

"I am Captain Awesome," said the girl, looking around.

Everyone gasped ("Le Gasp!") and threw themselves down at her feet – all part from me and Emmett who were obviously in her league because she looked like a superhero and me and Emmett-The-Vampire-Cat were totally superheroes.

"I am Emmett-The-Vampire-Cat and this is my trusty sidekick, Batman-Bella!" Emmett said and we both struck a pose (back to back, one foot in, hand on hip, other hand covering body and half of face with black bin-liner batman cape).

Captain Awesome beamed before saying, "well, it is an honour to be in your presence but I came here because I want to host your TV show – plus I need a job!!"

I looked at Emmett and he looked at me and then we both said at the same time, "what the hell are you looking at, bitch?!"

Then, I turned back to Captain Awesome and said,

"Of course you can host!" and then skipped off backstage to change as the applause from the live audience ran around the studios.