Suburbia

'Thinking Underage'

Riku's mind was conscious, but the kid was still fighting it for all he was worth. He wished he was still tired. It would make rolling over just that much easier. It would make ignoring the rain just that... much... easier...

It's been doing that for hours. It never rained this long back home. Just nice, quick summer showers. In, out, and done. Like good sex. Mmm. Lost in happy thoughts. Maybe I'm floating out my window... into the rain... yep. Happy thoughts gone.

Groaning and grumbling all the while, Riku rolled over onto his side and took a nice long moment to appreciate the wall across from his face. Some mornings there are moments when you look to see who it is you wake up beside and all you come to find is a wall very much like Riku's. And sometimes that's perfectly fine. ...And sometimes it's not.

This was one of those 'not' times.

Feeling thoroughly lonely and dejected for reasons he could neither understand nor explain, Riku then shuffled downstairs in a baggy pair of sweatpants and an oversized black t-shirt which so diligently reported: 'It's not raining-- my ninja monkeys are pelting you with poo.' How fitting. Yet no sooner had Riku sat down to his bowl of tasteless Wheaties than there came a knocking at his door. ...For the record, however, it was not his chamber door. ...It wasn't even truly 'his' door at all.

So it makes no sense for me to be thinking 'Quote the raven: nevermore!' Good lord, I'm a freak. I need to just give up and go back to bed.

But that knocking was damn persistent-- like no other knocking Riku had ever had the misfortune of hearing before. After several moments of knock, knock, knocking, he finally decided that maybe, just maybe he could answer the door. Just this once. And so he did.

"Morning, sleepyhead! Boy, you sure do laze around a lot, huh?"

"...It's only nine thirty."

Kairi's hair was pulled into two French braids, each tied at the end with matching white-spotted blue ribbons. Only Kairi, however, could have pulled the look off with a dark blue tube top and ripped up jeans. As Riku began to silently wonder if the girl owned a piece of clothing that didn't have some sort of distressed look to it, Kairi spoke again, her voice hauling his eyes away from the giant holes at the knees of her pants.

"I've only been up for four hours! Oh, Riku Wataya, you're so la-azy. But that can be fixed! What do you say you come hang with Sora and me tonight? I'm making us dinner over at my place since his parents are off celebrating their anniversary in some sleepy little bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere. It'll be good, I promise!"

Riku blinked. "You can cook?"

Looking slightly miffed, Kairi crossed her arms over one another, brushing past Riku and elegantly propping herself up against the wall beside the door, rainwater dripping down off her torso and onto the mat below. "Hey, I made that sandwich you ate yesterday and you've lived to tell the tale. That's got to mean something to you, right?" Kairi covered her mouth with one hand as she laughed a little, then added, "No, seriously though. I make dinner every night."

"Really?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"...I'm not actually sure."

"...Oh." The girl screwed up her cute little face into an angry pout, knocking the heel of one foot against the toe of the other in frustration. "Well gee, that's kinda hurtful!"

"Sorry," Riku said with a shrug. ...Now you know and I know that he wasn't actually sorry. But just like there are times when you wake up to a blank old wall, there are also times when you can B.S. your way out of anything just by saying you're sorry.

In Riku's defense (and in yours as well, I'm sure), it's not lying. It's just exaggerating. ...A lot.

Remaining delightfully uninformed of the rules behind the English 'sorry,' Kairi plowed on obliviously with a sweetened wink and a perky thumbs up, and then flipped one braid over her shoulder. "You can make it up to me by hanging out with us this evening. So what do you say?" she asked.

"Uh... I guess so. Are you sure Sora won't mind?"

"Sora? Mind? Get real! He thinks you're totally cool, trust me."

"I doubt he said that."

"You'd be surpri-ised what can come out of that cute 'lil mouth of his!"

"...Um?"

"Never you mind, Riku Wataya! The important thing is that we get you out of the house and socializing with people. You have to work on your social skills. How long have you kept yourself cooped up in this house anyhow?"

"Since I got here...? About... uh, two weeks or so." Two weeks. Maybe I'm in purgatory and the devil forgot to tell me. Or I missed the telegram. Didn't get the memo. The spiritual computer ate my email! Help me, God! ...This is not a good day. This is not a good day. Two weeks. Two weeks...

"Two weeks? Two weeks? ...Wow, you're as nutty as they come. And I mean that in the best possible way." Riku could only agree with her on that part. Not that he said anything, of course. No, he just stood there awkwardly and shrugged one shoulder, nodding his head slightly and only looking up when Kairi spoke again, tilting her head to one side and pointing past him, in towards the kitchen. There were his Wheaties, getting lukewarm and soggy, right beside--

"Say, that's the book you got from the shop yesterday, isn't it? How do you like it?"

Riku followed Kairi into the kitchen, where the girl proceeded to pull out a chair and perch on the edge, the movement actually striking Riku as being quite graceful. How such a strange and quirky girl managed to still be graceful, Riku didn't really know. But he was just having one of those weird days, after all. It could be raining pandas and I would probably just say, 'Hm, wonder if there'll be a rainbow afterwards.' What. A. Freak.

Shaking his head slightly, Riku tried desperately to get whatever tick his brain had out of there. He picked up the book, ran his fingertips along the spine, finally coming back to the world and its questions and Kairi's silent, sweet stare. "It's... actually, it's good. Uh... A little weird at parts. Not in a bad way, I mean. Quirky. Depressing. Different, you know? I can't really... describe it," Riku said. He frowned slightly at his own words before thumbing through the pages and coming to the one he was looking for, holding it out towards the girl with a single nod. "This one's good."

Taking the book in hand, a slow smile stretched across Kairi's face, a fine little red eyebrow arching as she read, "'On Seeing the One-Hundred Percent Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning.' Aww, Mr. Muscles has a soft side!"

"Don't call me that."

She licked the tip of her thumb and tucked the corner of the page between two fingers. She leant back in her seat, she parted her lips, and to no one's surprise, I'm sure, she began to read... "'One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harajuku neighborhood, I walk past the one-hundred percent perfect girl. Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep...'"

And Kairi went on from there. Riku was content to sit for a while, just listening and doing nothing else. His head drooped off to one side, fell onto his curled arms, neck bent just so as he closed his eyes and listened, listened, listened. Listened to Kairi talk about a chance meeting taken advantage of-- the perfect boy and the perfect girl who just had to test their limits and just had to try and prove their perfection by walking away from one another. ...What absolute idiots.

But it was okay. Kairi had a nice reading voice, really. It wasn't forced, it wasn't fake. It was brutally honest, fresh and... chaste, somehow. Riku just couldn't think of the words. But it made him calm, it made him collected, and for just a moment he could forget about the time and the pills and the heart and the wheel that put it all in motion...

But then she stopped.

"Riku... that was... sad," Kairi murmured.

"Yeah, I know."

"You shouldn't read sad stuff like that."

"Why the hell not?"

"Come on, this is just going to make you feel worse. What about... um... er. 'The Second Bakery Attack'?" Kairi was flipping through the pages looking for something-- anything more promising, more uplifting than a failed romance, a failed perfection all gone wrong and all gone to waste. And Riku just shrugged the effort off with a shake of the head, a quirk of the mouth.

"I read it. It was good-- funny and all that. But I dunno. I still liked the other one," he said.

"Depressing."

Riku smirked. "Terribly so."

"Are the rest of his stories sad like that?"

Having figured that his Wheaties were beyond saving, Riku had gotten up to wash out the bowl, turning on the disposal the running the tap and arming himself with the sponge. He didn't bother turning back around to face Kairi; he just scrubbed away, spending more time cleaning the bowl that was probably necessary in the first place. "How should I know? I only just started. Sora was the one who picked it out for me."

"Stupid Sora..." Kairi heaved a dramatic little sigh, arms flung outwardsand head tilted back in her chair, now viewing Riku from upside down. He just blinked at her, drying off his hands, leaning against the counter. Blink, blink, blink. Stare, stare, stare. "Hey, but, uh. How come you like that story so much if it's so sad?" the girl asked.

"Because." Riku allowed that explanation to hang in the air for a moment, but after looking at Kairi's expression, he could easily tell that just that word alone wasn't going to fly. So he shrugged and simply tacked on a lame "It's true."

"What is?"

"Well, I think it'd be a real miracle if anyone ever did encounter their perfect other half. For two people out of billions to find one another and fit together that perfectly? I mean, one hundred percent perfectly? Yeah. Not really likely. At all. Like the author says."

Jerking her head back upright, Kairi turned around in her chair to fully face Riku, her eyes wide and shimmering with something that looked strangely like worry. "But that's awful!" she whined.

"That's life."

"Yeah, well I disagree. I think that if two people work hard enough at a relationship, they can grow to be perfect for one another over time. So what do you have to say to that, huh?"

"Whatever. You can think what you want. Not like I'm gonna stop you."

"You're horrible at arguing, you know that?" Elbows resting on the back of the chair, Kairi held up one index finger, waving back and forth while she chided, "As a kid, you should be thinking happy, optimistic thoughts about love."

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious! All this pessimism can't be good for your heart, Riku Wataya."

Good for my heart...? Riku froze where he was, back rigid, brows furrowed. There's no way she could... I didn't say anything about...

"How'd you...? Did Mayako tell you?" Riku asked quietly. He still stood with his back to the girl, afraid of turning around and finding her pitying all over him. That was the last thing he needed-- more pity. More pity only led to self pity and self pity only led to chest pains and hospitals, medication and nullification and... everything Riku didn't want.

But Kairi didn't get it. She just blinked. She just tilted her head ever so slightly and filled the silence with one more question. "Tell me what?"

She doesn't know? ...She really doesn't know. "Ah... Nothing. Nevermind."

"Whoa, whoa, hey, did May tell me what?"

She doesn't know and she doesn't have to know. "It's nothing."

"It's something." Kairi leaned forward, bracing her weight on the back of the chair, a curious smile playing across her face as she continued, "There's something you're hiding, Riku... I wonder what it could beee."

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I'm hiding nothing."

Curiosity turned to amusement in the span of a second. "You know, when girls lie, you can always tell because their pupils get just a little wider as they say it. As they fib. You're not a girl, but I still know you're lying. God's gift to women is our amazing intuition."

And in the span of the next second, Riku almost felt a little intimidated. Almost. But God's gift to Riku was his amazingly dense skull and occasionally narrow mind, both of which were wonderful defense mechanisms if used the right way. "Your amazing intuition and your amazing ability to annoy."

"That too."

The two of them exchanged something of a smile, a little awkward in Riku's mind, but still better than he'd been doing yesterday. Surely if he built up his facial muscles enough, he'd be able to pull off a convincing smile one day. ...But not that day. And he soon wiped the expression from his face with the twitch of his mouth, focusing on the floor, even when Kairi broke the silence yet again. The tips of her sneakers came into view and he could just make out the beginnings of her shadow from the corner of his eye. For some reason, it struck him as a particularly small shadow. But then the thought and the realization were gone.

Kairi's hand rested gently, cautiously on his shoulder in a small half-pat, her voice quiet but uplifting. "Hey, you might not trust me now, but just you wait, Riku. I'm all you've got in this town-- well, me 'n Sora. And you know why we're all you've got? Because you're afraid to go out and make new friends!"

"That's not true."

"Oh reeeally?"

"If I wanted to--"

"But you don't want to. That's just it. You'd rather be indoors reading about perfect girls and perfect boys whose lives just don't work out."

"Like you'd know."

"Don't get mad, now."

"I'm not mad."

Kairi pulled away just a moment before Riku heard the laundry basement door open, Mayako bustling on out with a large basket full of laundry cradled in her arms. Upon seeing Kairi, she shot the girl a toothy grin, easily returned with Kairi's own warm and cheerful smile. ...And to Riku his aunt gave a sharp nod. That was about that. Oh, but wait! There was a vocal accompaniment, too!

"Good morning, Kairi!" The jerk of a head in the general direction of a cabinet, the scuff of the heel and the click of the basement door. "Riku, medicine."

So much for Kairi not knowing anything. Now there'll just be no escaping it. Fuck. I wish it was raining fucking pandas. Anything would be better than this. "...Right."

And sure enough, just as Mayako rounded the corner and disappeared into the adjacent hallway, Kairi was all over that one snippet of conversation, hovering over Riku's shoulder as he trekked over to the medicine cabinet and half-heartedly swung it on open. "Medicine? You sick?" she prompted. Questions, questions, questions...

"It's nothing." One, two, three, four, five fucking pills. Come on sky, give me some giant pandas and that'll be distraction enough. Big, giant, fat pandas that'll break a window or something.

"Lot of pills for it to be nothing."

"Would you mind your own business already?" Riku growled, turning sharply away from Kairi and closing one fist around the set of capsules, the other hand busy setting bottles back inside the cave of the cabinet. He took his time, hoping that maybe his anger would scare Kairi off. But no, he wasn't quite that lucky. There came a gentle tap on his shoulder and when he did get to turning around, she was still there, holding a glass in one hand and a smile on her face.

"...Here," she said, tucking the glass inside Riku's hand. "I think it's easier to take medicine when you drink something thicker than water. Like milk. Milk's good for you. Keeps your bones good and strong, right?"

"...Right." ...Milk?

Watching quietly as Riku downed his pills, Kairi tucked her arms behind her back and put up that smile of hers again. She and Sora really were two peas in a freaking pod after all-- their mannerisms were almost eerily similar sometimes. "Well, I just wanted to swing by and make sure you could hang out tonight. Don't forget, okay? Be over at seven and I'll make us some dinner and we'll all watch a movie or something."

"Okay..."

"Riku?" She was halfway through the doorway, one hand resting on the knob, one hand resting on the frame. "It's nothing serious, is it?"

"...Is what?"

"...Nevermind." And she smiled kind of sweetly then, head tilted to one side, trying to brush it off as what Riku claimed it to be. Nothing. "Seven o' clock! Don't forget!"

"I won't."

x x x

"Riku..."

"Uh, hey man."

"Riku, we were so worried..."

"You had us all really freaked out."

"Are you feeling okay? Do you need another pillow? Some juice, maybe? The doctor said..."

"...said you'll probably be okay for summer practice, but that he wants to..."

"We ran some tests, Riku, but... I'm afraid we..."

"...don't understand what's wrong with you, man! I mean, you were fucking fine, weren't you? You said you were fucking fine. You were laughing along just like the rest of us. I thought you'd fucking pull..."

"...through the heart, but it doesn't work. The heart develops a sort of, well, lopsided shape and it makes it weaker, less efficient. It can be quite..."

"...fatal..."

You guys fucking abandoned me. I needed you and you gave up... You just gave up on me. Just like that. I know I can be a pain in the ass, but come on now. ...I needed you. I needed you there for me and you weren't. You were out training. You were out painting. You were out trying to find a replacement, another star player, another gay best buddy to take my spot after I kicked the bucket. Just like my 'rents. Just like my fucking 'rents. I'm going to die just like them, aren't I? Just another freak accident.

Oww...

Fuck.

It sort of hurts, you know?

x x x

With one fist stacked on top of the other, Sora rested his chin nice and neat on top of his little hands. The kid was stretched across the only rug in the room, somehow managing to spread himself out at such an angle that he occupied the entire rug, staring up at the TV with a bored expression scrawled carefully across his face. "And now you've got to make sure that you fold these egg whites in nice and easy or else your pudding won't set right! Remember, we want that creamy lemon filling to be a nice contrast-- light and fluffy, rich and creamy..."

Kairi's living room itself had a pleasant feel to it, a nice, clean and airy feel that almost felt a little too... well, nice, clean and airy. Borderline sterile, really. Everything in the room-- every picture, coaster, lamp, shelf and sofa-- was coordinated perfectly with the oriental rug, shining blue, gold and white in color. ...Upon which Sora still lay, little red t-shirt and torn green shorts galore. What a god-awful clash.

"Kairiii, I'm hungryyy."

"That's what you get for watching the Food Network, Sora. Honestly." Ignoring Sora's defeated little whimper, Kairi turned to Riku with the pleasant smile of the perfect hostess and said, "Why don't you go on in with Sora? Dinner'll be ready soon, I promise!"

"Uh, don't you need help or something?"

Laughing, Kairi waved one hand dismissively, already on her way to the kitchen. "You'd just get in the way! I can handle it, trust me."

Everyone here keeps saying that. Trust me, trust me, trust me. ...Is it really such a damn crime if I don't?

"Hey Riku!" Sora's voice pulled him back, turned him around, guilted him up-- Didn't Sora say he trusted me yesterday? "Come on!" The smaller boy scooted over on the rug and flung out one arm, patting the newly freed space beside him.

"You have something against chairs?" Riku jeered, making his way over to a crisp white sofa instead.

Sora watched him move, baby blues centered right between the other boy's shoulder blades. Had Riku turned around at that moment, that one opportune little moment, he probably would have caught a glimpse of something similar to intrigue behind the blue. As it was, Sora shook his head, dropped his bottom lip into a pout, and simply retorted, "You have something against me?"

Once again, pulled back, turned around and guilted up. Riku's mouth hung open quite helplessly, but, unable to think of anything to say, he retraced his steps and sat down beside the brunette. The kid did indeed look quite pleased with himself, a satisfied grin settling across his adorable features as he propped his chin up on his fists once more.

"Sooo, Riku! Where'd you come from?"

Oh no, here we go again...

"Uhh. ...This... island chain."

"Well that's real specific. Treasure Island? You know Blue Beard the Pirate? Or maybe it was Captain Jack. Black Beard...? Whoever it was, he's a reeeal good friend of mine. Oooh, or maybe it was where the wild things are." Sora's grin took on an almost predatory gleam to it, causing Riku's eyes to widen and his face to turn just a little warmer, just a shade pinker. Oh get real. God, Riku. You are one pathetic son of a bitch. Why not start giggling like a goddamn schoolgirl while you're at it? Good lord.

Either completely oblivious or completely unmerciful, Sora continued. "You know that book, right? Where the Wild Things Are? Heehee, are you a wild thing, Riku? You look kinda crazy, you know? Crazy colored eyes and silver hair. Are you for real or not?"

"I'm real." Riku said it. ...He didn't know why he said it and he most certainly didn't know why he felt a frightening, painful little tug in the pit of his chest when he did say it. But there it was and Sora could take it and twist it in whatever way he wanted.

Yet Sora just cocked his head to one side thoughtfully and pursed his lips. He seemed to take that fact and pick it up for a second, turn it around in the light a few times and then tuck it away safely before nodding once. "Yeah," he said. "Okay, I'll buy that. But other than you being real, I dunno much about you. You're like one of those typical mysterious guys in the black cloaks with the dark past and the murky future. Gloom and doom. Ugh. Come on, man, you gotta give me more than that."

"There isn't anything..."

"La, la, la, liiie!"

"Seriously. It's boring."

"Then bore me to death. It can't be worse than watching this woman make pudding. That doesn't even look like pudding. Does that look like pudding to you, Riku?"

"Well... no."

"Exactly. So your life can't be any worse than fake pudding."

"That doesn't exactly say much."

"Trust me. It does. So spill."

"Muscle... uh... spasms. They don't work right sometimes. And it hurts. ...Sort of." Technically, that's not a lie. It's just a misleading truth. The heart is a muscle. And it's not working right. There we go. I'm in the clear. Guilt-free, no problems here. And he can tell Kairi and they can just go right on ahead and believe that if they want.

"Side effect of being so strong and bulky, huh? You stretch yourself too far and your body doesn't like it." And just when Riku thought he truly was in the clear, Sora fixed him with a look. It wasn't quite like any look Riku had ever seen before. It wasn't a look that said 'I trust you, baby! You keep talking!' and it wasn't a look that said 'You little lying fuck, I expected better from you.' ...No, this look was simply was of... 'All I can do right now is look at you like this and hope you get the message. I don't know you and you don't know me, but I want to and I'm trying to and you're shutting me out. Knock it off. Pretty please?'

And this was then backed up with Sora's sly little statement of, "You should go easy on it for a while. Maybe try lying down some."

Lying! ...Why do I get the feeling this kid just knows?

Thankfully, Kairi picked that exact moment to pop back into the living room, carrying a pretty little platter piled with sliced carrots and celery sticks, cucumbers and tomatoes-- all ringed around a neat dish of vegetable dip. "Hey guys, I brought veggies!" ...As though her actions really needed explaining.

"Mmm, rabbit food!"

"Shut up, you goof. The pasta's not ready yet." Pulling the platter well out of reach of Sora's outstretched hands, Kairi turned up her perfect nose and sniffed, "Or do you just want me to take this back in with me, hm? I can give it all to Riku, maybe. Then you can just starve!"

"Mercy, mercy, jee-eeze. You wouldn't let me starve, Kai!"

"Keep talking like that and just you watch!" Still, she caved like Sora knew she would, handing him the platter with a shake of her head and the flip of one braid over her shoulder. Just like that she was gone again.

Riku's mind was somewhere picking daisies in left field when he noticed a rather peculiar little orange pile of matter developing on his plate. And that was when he caught sight of Sora's scheme, his brilliant delivery, his-- "What are you doing?"

"Giving you my carrots."

"...Why?"

"Carrots are good for you. I'm sure your spastic muscles'll like 'em!"

"Ye-eah. About that..."

"Let's play a little game, Riku! Whaddya say? Just until Kairi gets back, m'kay?" Not waiting for a response, Sora popped a cherry tomato in his mouth with obvious cheer, chewing and swallowing before continuing, "One of us'll say something-- a fact. Only it can be false. Or it can be true. True, false, got it? And the other person has to guess which one it is."

"There's something you're hiding, Riku... I wonder what it could be."

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I'm hiding nothing."

"You know, when girls lie, you can always tell because their pupils get just a little wider than they would if they told the truth. You're not a girl, but I still know you're lying. God's gift to women is our amazing intuition."

...Between the two of them, these kids are going to kill me.

"Okay..."

"You go first. Say something."

"...I really like the book you picked out. 'The Elephant Vanishes.'"

"Heh. That's a truth. Easy. Okay. Here's miiine... My cell phone ring is The Beatles' song, Blackbird."

"Um..." Oh, actually know that song! ...And it's so not Sora. Get real. "False?"

"Wrong. That's the truth! Your turn."

"Right... Well... I'm left handed."

"Liar. Come on, try a little harder! My turn. I know my times tables up to twenty three."

"Uh. Lie?"

"No! I do, Riku. Twenty three times eight is one hundred and eighty four. Twenty three times eleven is two hundred and fifty three." And Sora managed to do it all without even batting an eyelid. Impressive. In fact, it was so impressive, that was all Riku found himself capable of saying. So he said it.

"Impressive."

"I hate math."

"Uh, is that a lie?"

"Nooo, that was the truth!" Sora whined. His tan little fists buried themselves in his hair as he groaned, head slumping forward onto his knees in defeat. Clearly Riku was just not cut out for detecting any lie-- or any truth for that matter. Sora couldn't help but wonder if he was constantly high on something or just downright oblivious. At that point, either option seemed like fair enough game.

But then of course there was the awkward silence. And of course neither knew whose turn it was to take up the reins of their silly game. Riku looked at Sora. Sora looked at Riku. And both of them told a truth in the very next moment, trying to break the silence with a nice little brick and instead slamming a ten ton wrecking ball right into the entire damn thing.

"I'm afraid of ferris wheels."

"I think you're really sexy."

And then came the chorus of--

"...What?"

And each stared at the other and once the metaphorical dust had cleared from their metaphorical disaster, Riku almost felt compelled to open his own metaphorical mind-closet and get out the broom and dustpan. ...Then he remembered all the nasty little thoughts he'd worked so hard to lock up in there the previous day. So he left it alone. He left it up to Sora to decide if they'd make anything out of... out of... whatever the hell had just happened.

"Truth."

"...Huh?"

"..." After studying Riku for quite a long moment, Sora just shook his head and threw up his hands, sliding back soundlessly onto the floor. He lay hunched over like that for a moment, glancing at Riku through the cover of his messy brown bangs, catching sight of the confusion on the older boy's face. But instead of explaining, Sora just stated obvious fact.

"You suck at this game," he muttered.

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Do--"

"Heeey, boys!" Jarring the kitchen door open with her hip, Kairi swung into the room, a dish in each hand and two more lined up each arm. Either the girl had some sort of mad waitressing skills or she was just naturally gifted with the ability to multi-task. Didn't matter which it was-- the food smelled delicious and Riku had never seen a prettier bowl of pasta, a greener salad, a redder tomato, a fluffier loaf of baked bread... Everything looked so... fresh.

Clearly not put off by the expensive rug lying out beneath them, Kairi laid out the dishes right on the floor. And apparently this was... normal. Sora just sat up and scooted over towards the nearest plate, calm, cool, and collected as could be. ...Well, as could be under the sway of some damn appealing food.

"Eat up!" Kairi chirped, right before disappearing into the kitchen once more, returning with glasses filled to the brim with milk. A little odd, but Riku wasn't one to complain, not when he had his mouth hovering over a forkful of tempting Alfredo linguine. Rich and creamy Italian goodness, fresh from the stovetop and curling with a delicate little steam and perfect smell, absolute aroma-- crazy.

"Mmfoo sudoo en--"

Sitting down at her spot on the floor, Kairi flicked her napkin into her lap, dishing a neat little serving of pasta onto her plate while ladling sauce on top of that-- and all done while throwing the brunette beside her a scornful little look and reprimand. "Sora, swallow before you talk. Honestly."

Grinning broadly and doing as told, Sora waved his fork around wildly for emphasis, saying, "You know your food's always so good, Kairi. I mean, you just have no life outside of your kitchen. Not that I mind! Mmm... ...Well, actually, now that I think about it, there was that one time..."

Cough, hack. A warning. "Sora, don't."

"What time?" Riku asked, curiosity getting the better of him. All it really earned him immediately was a swift little nudge from Kairi's nearby elbow and the sudden intensity of Sora's grin and Kairi's glare. A warm pair of blue eyes and a freezing gaze from a redhead. Interesting combination, Riku had to admit. After a moment of stillness, Sora took it upon himself to clear his throat with exaggerated grace and clarify, enlighten, explain.

"The banana cream pie incident."

"You promised not to--!"

"Banana cream pie?"

"Yeah, it was hilarious."

"Sora!"

"And I'll tell you about it some other time."

"You better not. Riku, don't let him talk crap about me, okay? Anything he says is just a lie, lie, lie, lie..." Spoon cradled in her left hand, Kairi used her right to twirl her fork, spinning up pasta in the shell of the spoon before delicately popping the little pasta package into her mouth. The girl narrowed her eyes into a cute little pout in Sora's general direction, a bitter something of a sentiment only broken by a mischievous little smile and a quirky little confession.

"Actually, I haven't lied to Riku yet," Sora said. And he said it to Kairi, sure, but he stared directly at Riku while he said it, making sure the boy got the message.

Riku did. Of course Riku did. He may have been higher than a kite on fifty thousand narcotics, but he wasn't stupid. No, he was just caught slightly off guard. And through the puzzle haze of his mind, it occurred to him that Sora was quite blatantly hitting on him. ...So, Riku did the only thing he could think of.

He said nothing and raised his glass to him mouth, guzzling milk for all he was worth.

"Am I missing something?" Kairi asked slowly.

Pulling the glass from his lips, Riku promptly set it gently on the ground and turned to the girl with what he hoped was an impressive, somewhat-improved-from-yesterday's-disaster grin. "No!" Smile, smile, come on, face, I know you've got it somewhere. People always say so. Let's get back in action here... He scooped up his fork and speared a lettuce leaf and cherry tomato, glancing at the girl as he said, "...This is excellent, Kairi."

And clearly? Riku hadn't lost his touch. Not as much as he'd originally thought.

"Thanks, Riku! At least someone appreciates my work."

"Hey, I said it was good already!"

"But Riku said excellent. So Riku wins. Thank you, Riku."

In his own defense, Sora's pink little tongue promptly flicked outwards, the spiky haired boy making quite the comeback with a triumphant little "Nyeeeh!"

"Sora, don't be such a baby! Good lord, only five year olds stick out their tongues."

"I wasn't sticking out my tongue! I was pointing."

"You point with your fingers, dummy. What were you 'pointing' at?"

"Riku."

Riku looked up from his food as both pairs of eyes were suddenly fixated on him. He glanced at the cherry tomato speared onto the end of his fork. ...Glanced at Sora. ...Glanced at Kairi. Figuring he'd better say something, Riku blinked, paused, and ventured a wary, "Why?"

"You have some salad dressing right--" Sora tapped the side of his cheek, face dimpled into a cute smile as he did so. "--there."

"Oh."

From her position sitting cross-legged on the floor, Kairi studied the two boys sitting opposite one another. Her crafty little blue eyes were thinking something dreadful, no doubt, when she flew up from her seat and clapped one hand to the back of her hand, waving the other back and forth through the air. "Wow, I forgot the napkins! One sec!"

And once again, Riku found himself left alone with the little boy devil.

This kid has more hormones bottled up inside him than a cat in heat. To think he ever looked innocent...

"I can get it!" Sluu-uurp. The tongue which had earlier been 'pointing' at Riku in quite the display of defiance was now lapping delicately at his cheek, clearing up the stray salad dressing and-- Riku just couldn't help but notice-- straying dangerously close to the curl of his lips.

"Er."

"Don't you ever respond to anything?" Sora whined quietly, fixing Riku with a proper little pout.

"I can't," Riku said. Wait... WHAT. That doesn't even make sense. Take that back. Fucking moron. Fucking moron self... moron... moron...

"What, you have some girlfriend back on your mysterious island chain?"

"No, that's not it."

"Does she think really deep thoughts or something? Do really deep thoughts turn you on, Ri-ku?"

"There is no girl."

"What's so great about really deep thoughts, huh?"

"There is no girl."

As though this one solitary little fact finally managed to hit home, Sora blinked, almost looking timidly up at Riku as the very corners of his mouth curled into the tiniest little smile. "...But is there a boy?"

But Riku's hesitant response did nothing to reassure or demolish Sora's scattered little thoughts. No, the silver-haired kid just looked away and gave a sullen little saying of: "There's nothing."

There's nothing, nothing, nothing, now leave me the fuck alone.

But that, of course, was when it happened. When Sora leaned just a little bit forward, his smile stretching a little bit wider, and his eyes-- in Riku's mind-- his eyes got just a little bluer. Sora brushed his lips against Riku's, letting out a small sigh as he did so, breath tickling the tip of Riku's nose.

His smile was nothing short of flawless when he said it, when he whispered, "But there's always something, Ri-ku."

And it was all Riku could do to just sit and stare... and stare and stare at the eyes that grew deeper and darker and cooler and cleaner. Black on the inside, blue on the outside, and white to ring it all together. Blue, black and white. Rain and some pandas. Sora's the amazing boy with the bath-water voice and the panda-monsoon eyes! I'm a fucking romantic... I'm a fucking freak of a romantic.

Riku exhaled, Sora drank in his air. Sora tilted his head, Riku's hand shifted, raised upward an inch or two, moved forward and stopped. Scared? Possibly. Intimidated? Most likely. Hesitant? Definitely. Yet Sora's own came forward to clasp his fingertips and both of them were suddenly, pleasantly quiet and still in the perfect little living room of the perfect little house in the perfect, perfect little suburb.

"Getting right to the point, I think you're really fucking cool, Riku." Smile widening to a grin, Sora's fingers, still entwined in Riku's own, gave an experimental little wiggle as he said, "Kairi's not going to bring me lunch tomorrow because it's Wednesday. So you have to now, okay? And then we'll think lots of really deep thoughts together and see how turned on you get by them."

"...What?"

"Take a joke, man!"

"You make it difficult."

"I make everything difficult, huh?"

"I didn't say that."

"You thought it. 'Man, this loser kid never shuts up! What a nasty little fruit!'"

"I never said that."

"You sure you didn't even think it? Not once?"

Thinking of him as a horny cat, a bath tub, and a panda-- none of those is a nasty little fruit. This time I'm definitely in the clear. "Really. Didn't cross my mind."

"...Are you sure?"

"What, are you trying to make me look bad?" Riku actually managed to pull off a half smile which, he was fairly sure, didn't look half bad. And there was a slight shift, a slight play of light in Sora's baby blues that assured him of that fact. Maybe it really wasn't half bad. "Besides, I thought you could tell if I was lying or not," Riku continued.

"I can," said Sora. He leant in closer and threaded his fingers through Riku's silver hair, sliding his hand down and studying the motion with a pleased smile of his own stretching across his face. "I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't try."

They sat like that for several moments, Sora across from Riku, stroking the boy's hair without a single care in the world. Riku... couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so damn near boneless before. All he wanted to do was flop forward and prop his head up in the boy's lap, perfectly content to be petted and stroked like that for the rest of the evening, for the rest of the entire blasted summer. But all he could do was sit, eyes half open, gaze falling somewhere between Sora's chin and the collar of his shirt.

Finally, Riku felt compelled to break the silence with a question that had been bothering him for just several of those long, pleasant minutes. "...So exactly how far away are the napkins?" he asked.

"Huh?"

And magnificently on-cue, the door to the kitchen swung wide open, Kairi standing with a fistful of napkins and an embarrassed little blush that wasn't quite blocked out by the dim lighting. "Wo-ow, you guys wouldn't believe what happened! Hahaha! I mean, there I was, standing by the napkin holder and then there was this huge spider, right? And it got in my hair, you know, uh, so, like, I had to go and um... You know. Kill it!"

Sora blinked and just shook his head. "Oh, Kairi."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"WHAT?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"Don't you nothing me, mister! I made that food you're eating!"

If Kairi had noticed the way Riku had Sora had suddenly shot apart from one another the moment she'd emerged from the doorway, she didn't choose to comment on it. Instead, she passed out napkins quite obediently and went back to her position on the floor, once again cradling her plate of food in her hands.

"And it's good. Like I said," Sora explained. "Mmm, but I dunno if it's eeexcellent... What do you think, Riku?"

"Sora! How can you say that?" Met with only a delighted little laugh from the brunette, Kairi let out a desperate huff of a sign and turned to face Riku, stabbing her pasta almost violently and making an obvious attempt at a change of topic. "Riku, you're totally gonna love our school."

"No he isn't. It's so lame."

"Don't say that, Sora. It's totally not helping. Riku, it's a nice school!"

"Yeah, you'll lo-ove the football games."

"He will!"

"Our half-time shows sound like someone's taking a herd of cattle out to slaughter."

"Sora!"

"Well it's true. Our band blows and even they admit it! It's not like I'm being mean or anything. Really, I'm not."

"You're sooo harsh."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Ri-ku doesn't think I'm harsh. Right, Riku?"

"...Not really, no."

"Riku, you're supposed to be on my side!"

"Sorry."

"You're not really sorry, are you Riku?"

"...Not really, no."

"You guys are horrible."

And so the night went on. As Kairi remained relatively close in proximity for the rest of it (no more random napkin-hunts, at least), Sora seemed to cool down slightly. He returned, once again, to that tan, childish little boy Riku had first encountered clambering out from the pavement beneath a school bus. Carefree and oblivious, sun-kissed and sneakered, carrying that perfect quality of a kid caught in the middle of summer.

...Which, of course, is exactly what Sora was. It just took Riku some time to figure it out.

Through the dim light coming from the TV screen, Riku could half make out his shoelaces peering up at him, lying just past the hem of his baggy cargo pants. They looked a little displaced, he decided, though he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. At one point, Sora followed Riku's gaze and, with a delighted little laugh, bent over and untied the smiley laces. He then untied his own and promptly proceeded to tie both pairs of feet together, much to his own amusement.

Kairi giggled. Sora laughed. And Riku... Well. Riku tried.

"Now you can't run from me, Riku! You're trapped!"

"Sora, don't freak him out, good grief."

"He's not freaked out. Besides, I like his shoes and his laces. You like mine, Riku?"

After some careful examination, Riku wasn't exactly sure he would call what he felt towards those bizarre yellow sneakers anything close to 'affection.' But one look at Sora's face was all it took, really.

"Of course I like your shoes."

"Aww, don't lie now!"

By the time ten o' clock rolled around, Riku felt as though he'd never been pulled in quite so many directions at any given time. His mind told him he was tired, sick of the noise, sick of the people, of the food, of the laughter, of the lack of goddamn loneliness. Oh, but his poor wee little suppressed and suffering heart. That sickly little thing. It cried out for more, more, more, but Riku just couldn't find it in himself to deliver. So he called it an evening and after a mild plea from Kairi to stay, stay, stay, he apologized and made for the door.

He shouldn't have been all that surprised when Sora followed him out, lingering on the front step, hands in his pockets and head tilted to one side. ...No, he shouldn't have been surprised. And maybe he wasn't actually surprised at all.

...Still, that didn't exactly mean Riku knew what to do.

"Um..."

"You're coming to see me tomorrow, right? 'Cause Cid'll fire me if you don't."

"You'll blame me if you lose your job?"

"Uh huh!"

Another little twitch of a smile. "Okay," Riku said. "I'll be there."

He took about half a moment to take in Sora's appearance in the porch-lit evening. Really, he didn't look too much different than the daylight Sora. Just a little more tempting, a little more thoughtful, more pouty, more vulnerable. If that last one was even possible.

If I was a rapist, this kid would be so dead.

And yet because Riku wasn't a saint and because his pathetic little heart still demanded attention, he took three steps forward and one step up, meeting Sora on the steps and giving the boy a quick little dusting of a kiss on the cheek.

"I knew you spoke my language." And Sora grinned while he said it. And even in the dark of night, that grin was the brightest thing Riku had seen all damn day. "Don't forget," Sora said. "Come see me tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

x x x

"Riku, you forgot to take your medicine at eight."

"I wasn't here at eight."

Mayako didn't look up from the newspaper spread out before her when she responded. She simply waved one hand around airily, dismissively, saying, "So take it now then."

Riku had arrived back at his aunt and uncle's house expecting something of this sort. After all, he hadn't honestly expected to somehow escape Mayako's bitter disposition the entire day, but he hadn't expected to have it all come back and bite him in the ass at once, either. Sighing lightly, he toed his shoes off at the doorway and made his way into the kitchen. Across from his dearest aunt sat his dearest uncle, quiet and brooding over another page from the same paper.

Reaching up into the medicine cabinet, Riku paused, a thought suddenly cropping up in the back of his head and prodding him into saying, "Listen, could you not mention this in front of people? Like this morning with Kairi? I know I have to take them, okay?"

"What, you don't want to look weak in front of her?" Mayako asked innocently. In the quiet that followed, the only sound that was made was her turning the page, slowly. Painfully. Damn near loudly.

"It's not like that!"

"Riku, take your medicine."

"I don't need to impress Kairi."

"You think everyone just wants to fall head over heels in love with you?"

"She-- she's n-- she isn't!"

"Maya..." Riku's uncle looked up warily from his paper, only to be caught dead on the receiving end of glares from both his wife and his nephew.

Oh, so the docile husband finally speaks? After she walks all over me? Just what the hell does this guy do anyway? No doubt about who wears the pants in this fucking relationship. What a pansy.

"Just don't, would you?" Mayako hissed. She rose smoothly to her feet and took her leave, disappearing into the den with a click of double doors and a deep, painful silence in her wake.

Riku turned back to the sink, jerked on the tap water and let it run, fingertips feeling it turn colder and colder by the second.

"...Mayako doesn't mean to upset you, Riku, you know that."

"Yeah. Whatever." He filled his glass with water and obediently popped the pills. He just couldn't help but notice how he gagged, how the water made things no easier as they went all the way down, catching and snagging in his throat, dissolving every inch of the way.

"You have people who want to help you, Riku... Those new friends of yours... I'm sure they want to help? I want to help. Maya wants to help, too. She just doesn't know how... Not yet. Give her time, okay?"

Riku didn't respond. He just shrugged his shoulders, rinsed out his glass, and placed it neatly in the dishwasher. And then he was gone, back up to his room which still wasn't quite his, left to staring at walls and thinking about how things were really, truly no different than they ever had been. Not since he got there. Not since that morning.

...But things happened today... didn't they?

And it was still spitting rain outside.

And half an hour later, when the meds just began to act up, Riku somehow managed to force himself into believing he was doped up enough to see a couple giant pandas dropping out of the sky and onto the front lawn. But it was just a desperate attempt to amuse himself, to get himself tired, sick of himself, ready and willing for sleep. Yet once he got started on the pandas, there was just no saving that train of thought.

Bath-water boy with his blue panda eyes. He's almost as crazy as I am. But how come he gets to be adorably insane and I'm just... insane? I mean, what the hell is up with that bus anyway?

"Sora likes to pretend it'll roll over him someday."

Riku couldn't help but shudder at the thought, his mind suddenly filled with images of one sad, broken little boy lying crushed beneath the wheels of a bus. The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round... He felt the pull, but it wasn't so much in his chest as it was in his head. The medicine was kicking in and really getting going. Gone was the mental blood and gone was the dead little boy, replaced instead by a blank gray slate that wouldn't fill up with any picture no matter how hard Riku tried.

So he staggered over to the bed. He turned out the light and he curled up. He closed his eyes and the gray was still there and there was no getting rid of it. And the worst part was, he knew he'd wake up facing a wall the exact same color, the exact same shade, in the exact same place it had been a day before.

Yet still...

"You have something against me?"

"Liar. Come on, try a little harder!"

"Do really deep thoughts turn you on, Ri-ku?"

"I knew you spoke my language."

It's nothing but some stupid little kid playing some stupid little mind games. Nothing but that... So stop thinking about it, Riku. Go to fucking sleep already. There's nothing there.

"But there's always something Ri-ku..."

(x) (x) (x)

Sora's 'deep thoughts' comment is derived from Tori Amos' song, 'Silent All These Years.' ('So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts, what's so amazing 'bout really deep thoughts?) And yes, yes. Chapter title credit goes to Teddy Geiger's song and album title, 'Thinking Underage.' I'm not about to deny the fact that I'm vulnerable to the temptations of pop music. Shame, that.

Passage from The Elephant Vanishes is, of course, Haruki Murakami's work. I strongly recommend everyone pick up at a book of his and at least give it a good looking at. He's amazing and a huge inspiration. (Riku's last name here-- 'Wataya'-- is actually the last name of one of Murakami's characters.)

Finally, special thanks goes out to Vash's Girl for her spectacular beta read. Die, spelling errors, die!

Anyway, on that note, stay warm and toasty-- go outside and play! ...After you drop a little review, maybe?