Chapter 2: The Harvest Sprites, Jamie and a Strange Lawn Ornament

Author's Note: Thanks to Ekoaleko (lol) for reviewing. XD On with the WTF-worthy show.

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The Harvest Goddess hung her head, shaking it a little as she contemplated her decision. The three Harvest Sprites stood before her, shaking their heads as she spoke.

"People forgot how to appreciate..." the Harvest Goddess began, sadness in her heart.

The Sprites shook their heads again, three little black dots appearing over each of their heads as they did.

"Hey, Narrator? What's with the little dots?" Carlos asked.

Arthur batted at the dots above his head. "They're not going away!"

I don't know. This is supposed to be sad, remember? Just ignore the dots.

The Goddess cleared her throat. "Anyway... uh... they forgot how to..." She coughed and whispered, "Line?"

"I dunno," Billy said. "Maybe you should just turn to stone. I mean, it's not like you need to make a long speech or anything."

"Okay. See ya!" The Goddess suddenly was surrounded in sparkling lights, which proceeded to transform her into a statue of solid stone.

"Ahh! The Harvest Goddess turned to stone!" wailed one of the Sprites.

"Ahh! The Harvest Goddess!" cried another.

"Ahh! Who's going to sign our paychecks?" shrieked the last.

Suddenly, out of nowhere came Jamie. "Hey guys, what's up?" he asked.

"Uh... I thought you were a supposed to be a girl," whispered Billy.

"No, I'm not. Remember? The new farmer's a girl." Jamie whispered back.

"Oh. Right." Billy coughed and turned back towards the Goddess.

"What's happened to her?" Jamie gasped in wonder.

"She turned to stone, duh," said Carlos.

"I think I've established that, thank you very much," snapped Jamie.

"Well why did you ask?"

"I - oh, shut up," Jamie said. "I'm trying to add dramatic effect here."

"Fine."

Would you two please be quiet and follow the script? You're giving me a migraine!

"Right. Script. Ah..." Jamie thought for a minute. "Oh yeah! Uh, I will... turn you back to normal..." He hung his head and looked at his feet.

"Hey, look on the bright side, Jamie," said Arthur. "She'll make a funky-looking lawn ornament until she turns back!"

"Dude! You're right!" Jamie said. "I'll go get my wagon. This'll look great on my ranch!"

"Yay!" exclaimed the Harvest Sprites in chorus, jumping up and down.

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Jill awoke suddenly.

"WTF?" was the first thing that came to her mind. She really had to stop eating week-old seafood pizza before bed. She had weird dreams all right, but that last one was just messed up.

She was about to jump out of bed when she heard footsteps outside of her door. Jill's eyes widened. I knew this town was full of stalkers! she thought to herself as she tiptoed up to the door.

She opened it a crack and was surprised to see... no one. But as she was walking out the door, something happened.

"What? You can see -"

squish

Jill picked up her foot and wrinkled her nose. "Gross. I stepped in something."

"Hey, it's been a while since someone could see us!" said a voice. Jill looked down and there before her eyes were two small sprites. She was a little confused at this.

"Aren't there supposed to be three of you guys?" Jill asked, raising an eyebrow.

The sprite dressed in yellow pointed to Jill's shoe. Jill took off her shoe and scraped what was left of the red Sprite off of the sole. "Oops. Sorry, dude."

The squished sprite suddenly popped back into shape as if he'd been quickly inflated. "Why do we have to be so small anyway?" he pouted. "It's so much easier to get smushed."

"I don't know," Jill said, flustered, "but what I want to know is, WHY ARE YOU ON MY DOORSTEP AT SIX IN THE MORNING?"

"We have a favour to ask," said one of the Sprites.

Suddenly the four were standing in the Harvest Goddess Spring. Jill shook her head.

"What is with this teleportation crap? Seriously! It's creeping me out!"

The Sprites shrugged and looked up. There, sitting on the grass in front of them, was... absolutely nothing.

"That's the Harvest Goddess, but... oh, hold on a second." Billy snapped his fingers and they were standing in front of the Jamie Ranch. They stepped onto the property.

Arthur hollered to Jamie. "Hey, Jamie! Mind if we look at your lawn ornament for a sec?"

"Sure, whatever," came the reply. The Harvest Sprites led Jill onto Jamie's lawn, where a black dog approached them. Jill read the name floating above its head.

"Calvertutrp?" Jill attempted to read. "Who the hell names their dog Calvertutrp?"

"Never mind that, look!" said Carlos.

Music flared up in the background as the four looked on at a statue that looked like the Harvest Goddess.

"Isn't that the music from the Spring?" Jill asked. "How did it..."

"Billy! Shut off that boom box!" Arthur scolded the blue Sprite, who seemed to be doing an interpretive dance to the Harvest Goddess Spring music.

"Sorry..." Billy said and switched off the music. "Uh, anyway. That's the Harvest Goddess, but something has happened to her."

"I think I've established that," said Jill impatiently.

"She turned to stone a year ago, and has been that way ever since."

"You need to collect a lot of notes to save her!"

Suddenly, Jamie ran up to them. "Hey! What's she doing here?"

"Jamie! She's gonna help us save the Goddess!"

"Stop bugging me! I can do this on my own!" Jamie said. "She got that way because of humans in the first place."

Jill stared at Jamie. "Excuse me, Jamie, but you're a human."

"Yes, well... uh... crap." Jamie slapped himself in the forehead. "Never mind that. But I can still do it myself! Go away!"

"Oh, right. You're real efficient. You've been working at this for a year and how many notes did you get?"

"Uh..." Jamie coughed. "...none."

"Right then," Jill agreed with the Sprites. "One question, though."

"What is it?" Carlos asked.

"What the heck are notes?"

Billy sighed. This could take a while.