It was almost home. Warm and sandy. Waves. Lovino never realized how comforting water could be. Nothing around, you could see for miles.

"How ya' doin'?"

Lovino dug his toes into the sand. His cheeks and arms were hot. "Ah, so you're fucking back again."

Alfred sat next to him. "Yup. Couldn't stay on my side of the island, what can I say?"

A faint movement on the horizon. Lovino perked. "You think that's a ship?"

Alfred squinted. "Can't see shit without my glasses."

Lovino gave him a look. "You wear glasses?"

"You seem surprised by that! Lost them when we washed up, I guess." Alfred gave a shrug. "Can't see dick without them. I used to be only nearsighted, but now I can't see anything."

Nothing. A bird, probably.

"When I washed up."

Alfred blew air out his cheeks. "Are you really still on that?"

Lovino hunched his shoulders. "Fuck you."

Alfred gave him a push. "Hey. Hey. Look at me! Do I seem fake to you? Do I?" Alfred gave him another push, and Lovino had to put his hand out onto the sand to stop himself from falling over. "How fake do I seem now?" Alfred snarled.

Lovino slapped Aflred's hands away. "I don't give a fuck! All I know is that I searched this entire fucking Godforsaken island, and I didn't see you," Lovino gave him a shove back, "until after I started getting dehydrated!"

"Are you shitting me?"

Alfred rolled onto his side and fucking kicked Lovino. Lovino fell into the sand and sucked in grit, his lungs on fire, sand in his nose. He struggled and stood, but Alfred was already walking away.

"Mother fucker!" Lovino screamed.

Something took over Lovino's legs, and he sprinted at Alfred. He felt his elbow hit the small of Alfred's back, and the other man gave an awkward squawk as they both skidded into the seagrass, faces pressed into the sand.

Lovino's legs had gotten tangled up with Alfred's. He kicked and struggled to get away, but Alfred had grabbed the back of Lovino's shirt. The collar tightened, and Lovino could feel his face get warmer, his neck burn.

Alfred's other hand slapped around the front of Lovino's face, and they both fell back, Lovino's hair in Alfred's face.

But at this angle, Lovino could breathe, and he gasped a lungful of air. Lifted his head, slammed it back into Alfred's nose, heard a crack.

Alfred's grip loosened, and that was all Lovino needed to wriggle free, get his feet under him, and run.

...

But there was only so far you could run on an island.

And, well, there was only so much company on an island. Alfred came back to Lovino before the sun set.

Lovino was trying to haul himself up a tree. But he hadn't used his arms in years, and any strength he once had in his teens had all but disintegrated. His arms burned, sweat dripped down his face, stung his eyes.

"What—"

Lovino nearly jumped out of his skin. He slid down the tree, slinters digging their way under his fingernails. Pain made stars burst across his vision, and he sank to the ground, tears already streaming down his face.

There were hands near his face, and Lovino flinched away. "Touch me and I'll kill you."

Alfred crouched down in front of him. "Hey, hey, it's okay, okay? I'm not gonna' hurt you. I've forgiven you for breaking my perfect nose, okay?"

Lovino blinked away tears. Dried blood had crusted under Alfred's nose.

"Sorry," Lovino said, voice hoarse.

Alfred shrugged. "What were you trying to do, anyways?"

"Coconuts."

Alfred made a face. "What?"

"I'm dehydrated. Coconuts have juice in them."

Alfred gaped. "You're fucking with me. They have juice in them?!"

And then he climbed up the fucking tree like a squirrel. Literally, Alfred gripped the trunk with his arms and legs and pulled himself up, ascended like an angel to heaven.

Lovino stared. Coconuts fell from the sky, and then Alfred fell, yelling.

...

It took them a few hours to find a sharp enough rock, and by that time, it was getting dark.

They took turns sipping from the coconuts Alfred broke open, directed by Lovino's eyes. They sat and looked for boats against the sinking sun.

It was the first time Lovino had felt right since he washed up on this island. A headache he didn't know he had was gone, and he felt alert, energized. He felt less hot, and his mouth didn't taste like dust.

Alfred must have also felt better, because he wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"I have this golden retriever, and I would die for that dog. Me and my ex fought tooth and nail over him, and we ended up having to get some court-thing that said we had to share custody of him every other week." Alfred took a sip of coconut.

"That's really fucking dumb."

Alfred shrugged. "Hey man, I didn't ask for such a bitch of an ex, but I can't change that. That dog is my son."

Lovino snorted. "You're just like my brother—a fucking idiot."

"Oh, you have a brother? I have a brother, too. His name is Matt and he's really into comic books. Yeah, we have tickets to go see this hockey game, 'cause he's wicked into them, and we're gonna' try to get this girl with huge tits' phone number for him 'cause—"

"You're not," Lovino muttered, "going to see anything."

Alfred withdrew, leaned away from him. "That's not very optimistic, bro."

"We're stuck on a fucking island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Fuck, I don't even know where we are, Alfred! We're going to die of exposure or dehydration or starvation or fucking sunstroke, okay?! So shut up about—" Lovino's voice cracked, and he cut himself off.

Lovino looked away, then stood up. He didn't want this stranger to see his face. See him cry.

He was going to die here.

"I'm gay."

Lovino turned around. "What?"

Alfred stared at him. "I'm gay. I've never told anyone."

Lovino made a face. "Why the fuck are you telling me?"

Alfred shrugged. "Like, you just shared something personal with me, so, like, I figured I'd return the favor? You're scared of dying, I'm gay."

"You're telling me you're not afraid of dying?"

Alfred laughed. "Nah, man, I called my brother to tell him we crashed landed."

Lovino's brain short-circuited. "What?"

Alfred held up his phone. "I have coverage like, everywhere. Except at my house and work. And I have the Otterbox case, so it's waterproof—"

Lovino held up his hands. "You're telling me you fucking called someone and didn't tell me?"

"Well, I was going to tell you, but then you insisted I was a fake dude and I sorta' snapped."

Lovino took a deep breath. Held it. Released it. "I hate you so much."

"I—"

Lovino ran and tackled him, his knee connecting nicely with Alfred's chin.


Anonymous said : "Romerica. Stranded on an island"