They were drunk.
Neji's head was spinning, and he had an arm fully around Tenten, mouth engaged. When they parted, Tenten had felt his desire and looked up, panting, "My place."
They had fumbled with the stairs, the keys, tripped into her apartment.
"I live alone," she said as Neji laid kisses on her neck and collarbone, trekking south. Passion, physical desire, he needed it now, he was pulling clothes off impatiently, heat building up fast inside. And she gave it to him. She wasn't a virgin, he figured, not a woman that talked and lured him in like that. And it led to a primal emotion, jealousy, in him. But it didn't matter he supposed, since he wasn't either.
He awoke to Tenten gone and blood on the sheets, surprise suddenly etched in his nerves, his hard-edged emotions. His hand had traveled below the pillow, and he felt something hard and sleek. He pulled out a sharp blade, and only stared, examining the blade through his fingers. He smirked.
She was sitting on the couch, curtains drawn, sipping a coffee and smoking, a blank look on her face. She had put on shorts and a very thin tank top, her legs curled up next to her.
"Oh, good morning, Neji," she said, looking up at him, eyeing his response, his reaction. There was an awkward pause.
"I thought you were quitting," he said, taking the cigarette from her fingers to raise to his mouth and inhale. He slumped down next to her, and Tenten eyed his semi-naked frame. He threw his head back, massaging his aching temples.
"Shittiest hangover. Got pretty wasted," Tenten commented, taking another sip off the hot mug in front of her before leaning over to hold it to Neji's lips. He took an obligatory sip, and when Tenten made eye contact, she saw the primal instinct still there. He took the cup out of her hands, and pushed her back on the couch.
Tenten had started playing cards with Naruto and Kiba, both who begrudgingly had to accept that Neji had already staked his claim. Although they did enjoy the latter's obvious aura of annoyance that his girl was paying attention to other boys.
"Tenten, come here."
She looked up from her cards, and drawled out a no. Neji twitched.
Kiba pushed the cards away, frustrated. "Are you two fucking or not?"
"Obviously," Naruto smirked and Tenten hit him.
"If they are officially together is a better question," Shikamaru muttered, lying on his back on the floor, a book over his face.
Tenten shrugged, as Neji only looked slightly surprised, as much as his emotions would let him. It was true, Tenten and him weren't any kind of official relationship, it was purely physical. To them, everything was material, private, time to satisfy desires.
"Hmm," Tenten stood up, walking over to Neji and propping up to sit on the desk, legs hanging over his own.
"Are we dating, Neji?" she asked, looking at him curiously.
And she had laid the matter in his hands.
"Yes," he said, almost automatically.
And then there was a split second of tension where he thought she was going to disagree. The sudden, (was it fear) caution that it wasn't, "they" weren't, as he had expected. But she merely shrugged, "Suit yourself."
Then she grabbed him by the tie and kissed him, and before he could register, she had jumped off the desk, his tie in her hand, and walked out the door. Neji was speechless. Kiba and Naruto, only stared at the door in awe.
"Damnit, why do you get such a sexy girlfriend?" Kiba grumbled.
It was a custom in Konoha High School, that if one were in an official relationship with another student, he would exchange ties with her. She wore hers with a grin as the other girls had squeaked in surprise, and she had practically bounced over to tie hers around his neck. The designs were different for boys and girls, if only subtly, but for the prying student body, it was the symbol of a rumor turned true.
Neji had bent his head down to receive her kiss, and suddenly, their "relationship" was official. It was kind of surreal in essence, since Neji never labeled himself as a 'boyfriend' to a girl, it was just a matter of who was a hot, easy fuck. Sometimes, he had been with much older women, but they didn't mean anything. Tenten didn't mean anything irresistibly pathetic, like love, either.
They made out on the top of the school at lunch and shared a cigarette. Tenten popped mints often, he noticed, and the mix of smoke and mint had filled his senses constantly. They had sex a couple times, when Neji had come with her home, both of them pissed drunk or horny (usually both). She lived at home alone, he remembered, but he did not know why, never bothered to ask. He ended up being at her apartment much more often than his own house, not that it really mattered to his family, anyway, it wasn't the first time Neji didn't come home at night. But it was the first time Neji had done other things than sex while staying with another. He enjoyed her company, her endless chatter, her laughter.
Neji had been on the couch, reading when Tenten plopped next to him and promptly turned on the television, not even attempting to bother him or divert his attention. But he ended up watching Tenten, the curve of her cheeks and her lips, the slim shoulders and the bandaid across her forearm. When Tenten flicked her eyes to him, his eyes nervously returned to his lap at the words.
Tenten only giggled.
But they did not "date", he did not hold hands or bring her to the movies or something unnecessary and corny like that. They were above that, he was sure that such useless waste of time over some overrated emotion wasn't even upon consideration, and he had made that known to Tenten. She didn't seem to mind.
"So I leave for a month and I come back with you whipped as hell."
Neji had been in the room with Shikamaru, planning, when the familiar voice slithered past.
"Uchiha, finally came back from your pitiful 'revenge' over your brother?"
"Fuck off, who's this new girl that you're madly in love with?" Sasuke smirked from the doorway, leaning against the wall and eyeing his well-matched comrade. Shikamaru groaned.
"I'm not in love with her," Neji spat, shutting the book with much more force needed. Sasuke was just getting under his skin…
"I've seen it. Your eyes never leave her, you're digging yourself a grave. That woman's going to leave you heartbroken like a pussy."
"Because you're a masochist and won't accept Haruno is no matter to me, go cry in a corner because your brother doesn't love you."
"You probably know absolutely nothing about her."
Neji stood up, and swung a fist at the other. Sasuke dodged easily, quickly aiming for Neji's side, but he wasn't fast enough to block it. Neji doubled over, coughed.
"You've also gotten pathetically weak," Sasuke scoffed, turning to leave. "The great Hyuuga Neji can no longer put up a fight because he is too whipped by his girlfriend. Who knew you'd give up your ways and get one."
"Ino's going on a date Saturday with Shikamaru."
"So?" Neji finished bandaging his arm. His "talk" with Sasuke had left him angered, and he had gone out on a search for people to beat up that night. He found himself back at Tenten's apartment. Better, he supposed.
"No reason," Tenten said offhandedly. Neji looked up, and Tenten was busying herself in the small kitchen. He smirked, chuckling.
"Do you want to go out on a date, Tenten?"
"No," she said quickly.
Neji examined his work, grimly patting himself on the back for a first aid well done as Tenten crawled into his lap.
He stared at her back, bare and glowing in the moonlight. Tenten lit a cigarette, letting out a sigh. They didn't cuddle or anything, after sex, they fell asleep, or at least Tenten seemed to and Neji only watched her.
"You've been distracted tonight," Tenten said into the still air.
Neji didn't answer, continuing to look at the curve of her spine, the indentation and curve of bone and shoulder. His fingers skimmed the back of her neck, then down to where the bandages around her midsection still were. He played with a loose end. A torn muscle from when he had hit her. She was in pain, but didn't show it.
"Why do you live alone?"
Tenten didn't answer. After a moment, Neji took his hand away.
"Where are your parents?"
"They died," she said suddenly.
Neji didn't say anything. He continued to gaze at her skin, her curves and then she turned and looked at him, expecting.
"My father…" he began.
Tenten kissed him before he had to bare his soul, silencing him when he wanted to be. She tucked herself in the bend of his arms, and kissed right where his heart was. And all he could think of was that this woman was his, he didn't deserve her.
He realized that he was much too into Tenten, and that he desperately needed to get out. Get out of this tangle of emotions he never felt about a woman, and she was hardly even considered one. A girl, with alluring waist and hips and breasts and air of grace that had him captured and captivated since the moment his eyes had met hers.
It was when she had shown up during a fight, and the thugs were armed, on top of that, only to be ganged up upon. And suddenly, there was that abrupt, animalistic panic and anger had swept in.
She was not supposed to be here, she was going to get injured.
He had blocked a hit that landed a heavy gash across his arm. It was a terrible pain he had been unfamiliar with, a wound he wasn't on the receiving end for a long time.
The man grinned, his grizzly raspy voice croaking, "The great Hyuuga Neji, with a reputation of not getting hit, just got sliced by my knife!"
Neji had quickly shut him up with a upwards kick, holding his bleeding arm. He turned back to Tenten just as the man hit the ground, adrenaline on edge. She met his eye and understanding dawned, just a short enough examination of his inner fears that she was able to turn back and ruthlessly beat her own aggressors. No words were uttered. Neji finished his business quickly, while in his peripheral vision he watched Tenten crouch down and steal the man's wallet.
This wasn't the Tenten from school, when her hair was up in buns and she was wearing the school uniform in her girly innocence, she transformed into something deadly and dangerous, and in his mind, irresistible. She didn't intend to hang around for long, and he noticed there was an impassive look on her face when she nodded to him for a finished job.
"So you are on my side," he panted, catching up with her, his heart not calming down.
She only shrugged, not talking. Neji didn't like the uneasiness, the quiet, or the stained blood on her skin. And then there was the siren of police cars and the two of them tensed. A man on the floor groaned and then the pair was sprinting. He had a hand around her waist suddenly, almost as a shield, and they both turned in a corner as the police car screamed past.
Tenten was shivering and he was already kissing her before either of them could catch their breath. A hand ran up her side and felt the warm seep of blood, and he pulled away, looking down at the deep cut on her side, barely visible in the darkness. His face must have contorted in alarm because she met his gaze with a hard look.
"You look like you've never seen blood before."
"You're injured," he said softly.
Tenten examined the wound, touching it as the blood ran over her fingers. It was a steady flow.
"I'll fix it up when I get home, I suppose," she said nonchalantly. "You got hit by that attack I could've easily blocked."
Neji slowly realized, remembered, that Tenten was already in position to fully block and retaliate the hit he had blocked, a stupid move on his part.
"I…"
She looked back up at him, and didn't even try to smile. His nerves were on edge, and his heart still hadn't stopped racing, whether it was from his own pain or the knowledge of hers.
"Tenten, come, I'll bandage it."
And for the first time, he saw something cold and painful staring back at him in her eyes, her expression.
"I don't need you to baby me."
And then suddenly, the minor detail he had been trying to block out, came out screaming.
His hand had gripped the front of her shirt, lifting it up in a rough motion. There were still the bandages wrapped tightly and neatly around her midsection, bloodied by the recent wound, but he ripped them off as Tenten tried to push his arms away futilely.
"Neji, what the fuck-"
She hadn't let him unwrap them before. There was a shrill nervousness in her voice. And there, he saw the scar, about half an inch thick.
"What is this?" he whispered.
"Just a little surgery," Tenten breathed out, closing her eyes as his fingers treaded softly across the scar, his palms caressing the skin just below her breasts. And then the anguish hit him. He couldn't get out of it, out of Tenten, if he wanted to. And he had fisted his other hand, he was angry, angry at himself for inflicting pain on her, for this irremovable sign that he had caused way too much damage. She was a girl; her body was not adapted to put up with a punch like that.
Suddenly her hand grabbed his own, pushing it away, off her warm skin.
"Don't act so precocious and worried now," she said coldly. "What's done is done."
And then she had slipped from under the barrier of his arms and was gone.
She didn't fully avoid him, no that would cause talk and probing. Neji saw it as a sign of respect from her to him, she knew how much he hated personal questions by overbearing peers, so she did allow him to walk her to class and to continue to have lunch together on the rooftop. Or at least, it appeared so. Tenten, who always had a gift of coaxing conversation out of him had gone eerily silent, pensive, a sign of distrust.
But had Tenten ever truly trusted him? Every time they shared a bed, she still had that knife underneath the pillows. What at first seemed like a quirk, a mechanism of her own security at night now began to dawn on him as her protection against him. He hadn't registered that at night her hand was still under the pillow, even when wrapped in his arms.
He really barely knew anything about her, what her favorite color was and what made her smile and even how to make her happy. He knew nothing about her family, her childhood, her life, and he realized he hadn't told her about his, even though there were hints that she wanted to know, on his own time (except he didn't make time). He remembered exactly who Tenten talked about in her chatter, the gossip and the homework and the long ago fights. But he was lost on who she really was, and suddenly, this understanding made the once comfortable ambivalence with the only person he had truly opened to now seemed like a awkward silence with a stranger.
What they had looked like, felt like, was a normal relationship. A sense of satisfaction Neji was not familiar with, comfort that made him slowly put in the back of his mind, subconsciously trying to forget, that she was a part of his darker world. And now that he had seen her again in it, it was tearing him apart.
"Where are you going?" he asked, when after school, it appeared she was leaving with Uchiha Sasuke, who stood in the doorway. Neji was jealous, this was evident, and he was worried. Sasuke wasn't light on his drugs, or his women.
"Just going out for a smoke," she said, a fake grin on her lips. She jerked a thumb at Sasuke. "I want him to try mine, because the ones here are absolute shit."
He remembered the taste of her cigarettes, tangy and strong that filled his mind and calmed his nerves, and he couldn't exactly place the last time he had them. Much too long ago.
And Neji didn't say anything, only watched solemnly as Tenten turned and didn't look back.
He had grasped too hard, and like sand, she was slipping from his fingers. She wasn't on his side, and probably never was. Their short-termed alliance was crumbling.
Notes: How rather depressive, sorry. Not that good of a second chapter, haha. Well, I think there will be an end with the next one. Let's hope it won't be too cliche.
