Authors note: I originally planned on just ending the story there, but since I got such nice reviews from book-lover-book and PoshBosch, that I decided to write about Liam's night shift, once again using things that my brothers actually did, if you want guess which things are fictional or art imitating life I'd love to hear it.
Liam walked down the hallway rather confused by Helena he'd only just woken up and already he was being bombarded with things to do. He went to collect the wailing Duncan from his crib, before searching the house for his other sons, Liam was surprised when he was pelted with an array of toys; they seemed to fly from everywhere. "Attack!" Sebastian yelled as another wave was launched at Liam. Liam manoeuvred Duncan away from any danger, sadly he had to take many blows in order to protect mummy's favourite. Helena would kill him and possible the boys as well if they hurt her little sweetie.
Liam made his way into the kitchen, taking refuge behind the bench, he held Duncan close as he figured out how to get away from the war zone he'd found himself in. Liam heard a rustling of metal in the kitchen. Please don't start throwing the cutlery, Liam thought as he pressed himself harder against the bench, hoping they'd take something sweet and leave. A shadow made its way around the corner; Liam clamped his hand down lightly over Duncan not wanting to give away their position from him crying. The figure materialized into Geoffrey, a big grin on his face. "I can see fatherhood is treated you well brother."
"Good thing you're here, can you help me rear these kids please."
"No I'm just an experimenter here, observing the behaviours of vampires handling their offspring. It is rather interesting so far, they seem to have cowered in the corner, trembling in fear. I must say it is rather different to how I imagined it."
"Did you happen to do this?" Liam said pointing in the direction of the little pirates.
"I may have added an extra stimulus."
"Which was what?"
"Plan and simple brother, sugar."
Liam stared at the wall in horror; these kids were on a sugar high! Liam was crying inside, this night was never going to end. Liam poked his head around the corner, staring at two very energetic little boys. "We're hungry." Sebastian said.
"Candy, candy, candy!" Marcus shouted as he jumped on the spot and practically drooled from the mouth.
Liam emerged from behind the counter a colander on his head. "Peace." He said to the two hostile children in front of him.
Sebastian stood in front of him a foam sword pointed to his father's throat. "Argh we'll accept your piece but only for the exchange of our sweet treasure." He shifted his sword toward Geoffrey, "And there better be no funny business otherwise you all walk the plank, starting with the little one." Sebastian had the cutest pirate accent going at the time.
Liam stood with one hand raised and the other holding Duncan firmly to his side. "We cannot meet your terms." He was not about to give in to a three year old with a foam sword.
"Then this be war prepare yourselves for battle." His accent did not falter. As he and Marcus ran back to the couch, picking up what toys they could. "We lay siege!" Sebastian shouted. Marcus just yelled candy, over and over again still jumping up and down.
Liam held onto Duncan as he crawled back to the safety of behind the bench. "Geoffrey, bar the entre way, we shall not be taken." He instructed his brother as he held Duncan and crawled to the fridge. The boys had their projectiles and he had his. Liam emptied the crispers of all the fruit and veg.
Geoffrey reported back. "The point of entre is secure. At the moment they are hurling stuffed animals, but they have heavier weaponry at the ready."
"Heavier weaponry?"
"Army soldiers, trucks and marbles." Geoffrey' face was plastered with a giant grin.
"Why are you so damn happy?" Liam shouted as he narrowly missed being hit in the head by a t-rex.
"I've never seen you so stressed brother, it's quite fun."
"Oh shut up." Liam took another tentative look over the counter, only to have another dinosaur thrown at his head. "Bloody kids." He surveyed the scene there were toys everywhere, only a small selection of the toys which had been thrown had actually made it over the counter. Liam retreated to the ground. "Alright men, we need to wait until they have run out of ammunition. This will be our optimal time to strike, as they collect their fallen we shall rise and strike, Geoffrey you take them from the west and I'll lead the frontal attack, we'll send them retreating back as they do we fire even more at them." Liam moved the vegetables to illustrate the battle. "This will leave us low on supplies but it will end the war by five minutes and save millions of tears. Are we ready men!" He called looking down at Geoffrey and Duncan.
Geoffrey secured the entre and waited for Liam's signal, it had been all quiet on the field for thirty seconds when two small heads appeared from behind the couch. "Wait for it," Liam pulled himself up a little further, but still staying hidden as they advanced. "Now!" He shouted to Geoffrey. The boys didn't suspect a thing, until it was too late. Liam and Geoffrey showed no mercy as they hurled grapes and carrots at them. The boy's charged making a mad rush to collect their fallen toys, before they both flocked back towards the couch. "We've got them on the retreat release the tomato unit." Red balls doomed rained down upon the boys. They dodge as red splattered all over the living room suddenly one of them burst into the back of Marcus, throwing him to the ground. "Whoa I got one." Geoffrey called fist pumping. "The aim isn't to break my children Geoffrey." Liam yelled back as Sebastian detoured pulling his brother along with him back to the safety of behind the couch.
Marcus was crying as he and Sebastian cowered behind the couch. "Where were you hit?" Sebastian yelled shaking his little brother, to stop the sobbing.
"On my back!" Marcus yelled crying even louder.
"Snap out of it I don't have time for you wimp out." Sebastian told him punching Marcus lightly in the arm. That was it the waterworks went full blast. "Mummy Sebastian hit me!" He cried running for the hallway, right past the west entre into the kitchen. "Marcus no!" Sebastian yelled but he was too late a hand reached out and grabbed his brother pulling him in. Sebastian's temper flared "Give me back my brother!" He yelled charging the walls, he was equipped with only the hardest toys they had and his foam sword.
"He's coming!" Liam yelled as Sebastian prepared to charge the gates. Liam opened them up while Geoffrey held Marcus tightly. "Lay down your weapons!' Liam shouted as Sebastian entered, otherwise we'll be forced to throw him to the sharks." Historical accuracy be damned Liam just wanted to say it.
"No." Sebastian threw down his weapons.
"Will you make peace now?" Liam asked standing over his eldest son.
"Yes." Sebastian cried from the ground. "Don't hurt my brother."
"I think that can be arranged. We agree to your surrender if you will take a bath and send yourselves both to bed."
Liam settled Duncan while the boys bathed. "It's been fun brother." Geoffrey said as he retreated to his compound.
"Yeah whatever" Liam answered as he went to inspect his other two sons. They were clean and in their pyjamas, falling asleep on the couch. Liam put the sleeping Duncan down and then collected the other two tucking them into their own beds. Liam looked at the state of the living room and kitchen, choosing to just turn off the light and walk down the hallway. He'd deal with it tomorrow.
Liam climbed into his bed. "Hey sweetie" Helena said kissing him as she rolled over. "How were they tonight?" She asked sleepily.
"I've just come home from a war."
"My big hero. I'm going to get something to eat." She got out of bed. Liam settled in just beginning to close his eyes when he heard Helena scream at the top of her lung. "LIAM DRAKE, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!"
Duncan began to cry; Liam slumped back into his bed and threw the pillow over his head. "It never ends, it never ends." He whispered into his pillow.
Author's Note: This is the end of the story, first of all I'm sorry I took so long to update, I wasn't sure I would, but now I think I'll use this to do one shots of child rearing, they won't be in order or connected probably. As always tell me what you think.
