Author's Note: Ok, this was totally going to be a one-shot, but what can I say? I freakin' love these girls. I've got a series of shorts planned. Please review, your feedback is Priceless. Yeah...I went there... Enjoy!
Our first time was in the back of my old pickup truck. I know, doesn't exactly sound all that romantic. We didn't exactly plan it. I wanted it to happen, and Max did too, but all of this was new to her, and I didn't want to push it. I figured, when it felt right, for both of us, it would happen.
Technically we were there to look at the stars. We put a couple of blankets and pillows in the back of my pickup and set up camp at bottom of the hill near the lighthouse. We actually did look at the stars for a little while, trying to remember the names of them.
"I think that's Orion," Max said, pointing to some random cluster.
"I think that's Cassiopeia," I said, pointing to another.
"Really?" she asked.
"I have no idea."
Max chuckled, "We're not very good at this, are we?"
"Hey, this was your idea. I was cool with doing pizza and a movie," I retorted.
"Warren said it would be romantic," Max explained.
Oh Warren. Nice guy. Never stood a chance. He and Max were talking one day when I came to pick her up after school. I was feeling a little mischievous, and if I'm being honest, a little jealous, so I decided it was a good time to engage in a little showy PDA with my unsuspecting, but very willing girlfriend. Warren was weirdly ok with it. Boys.
"I'll bet. Captain Friendzone could probably name all the constellations. 'There's Virgo. It symbolizes the fact that I'm not getting any!'" I said, my tone entirely too bitchy. God Price, you are such an asshole.
"Probably. He's really smart. Talented too. But he's not the one I want to spend my evening with," Max said. She took my hand in hers, lifted it to her face and kissed it.
How does she do that? How does she take shit from me and just let it slide? Don't get me wrong, Max Caulfield is no doormat. She'll call me on my bullshit if I go too far, but for the most part she just lets it go. Sometimes I'll lose my shit, like when David does something douchey or whatever and she'll just look at me, like she's just so happy that I'm there with her that she doesn't care that I'm ranting like a lunatic.
"Besides," she added, kissing her way up my arm. "I wanted us to be alone tonight." She shifted towards me, kissing my shoulder, then my collar bone, then my neck.
"Damn Caulfield," I said, flustered. "You don't mess around." If there was one major difference between tween Max and present day Max, it was that she stopped being so chicken shit all the time and was actually honest about how she felt and what she wanted. This was the girl that told me she loved me within minutes of coming back from the dead.
All thoughts of stargazing were forgotten. I moved on top of her, kissing her jaw before catching her lips, eliciting that quiet little moan that inspired so many wicked thoughts. God Max, do you have any idea what you do to me?
I'd been with other people before. Rachel of course. She was my first, and the only one worth remembering. She was gentle and patient, and goddamn if I didn't fall in love with her that night.
That's how I wanted it to be for Max. So when I felt the cool air on my back as she tugged at the base of my shirt, I wanted to make sure she was ready.
"Are you sure?" I asked, taking a quick breather.
"Definitely," Max whispered.
I smiled, then pulled my shirt over my head. I unbuttoned her blouse one button at a time, kissing her stomach as I worked my way up.
I felt Max tense as I exposed her skin, the scar on her stomach catching the light. Max was hella self-conscious about it. She thought it was ugly, although I managed to coax a smile out of her when I told her it made her a, "certified badass."
To be honest, it freaked me out a bit too. Not like it was a turnoff or anything. It just scared me. I was so close, so fucking close to losing her forever, to never knowing what we were, what we could be.
Max Caulfied chose to die for me that day. For me. Burnout, fucked up, wannabe criminal Chloe Price. I never thought anyone would love me like that. I never thought anyone could love me like that.
"We can stop anytime you want to," I whispered, kissing her just above her left breast. "Just let me know if..."
"I trust you Chloe."
I trust you too.
I used to call bullshit on the whole notion of, "making love." After Rachel disappeared, there were a few others. Shit, I don't even remember their names. By that time, I stopped being worried and started getting angry. And when I got angry, I did stupid things.
I always had fun hanging out with skater guys, so I figured, why not bang a few? Worst idea ever. Of all the ways I acted out, that was probably the dumbest. Who fucks someone they're not even attracted to just to get back at someone? Seriously, who does that?
I never thought I would be this nervous. I tried not to show it, unzipping her jeans carefully, trying to keep my hands from shaking. Max helpfully lifted her hips, allowing me to slide them down easily. "Are you ready?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah," Max nodded shyly.
I slipped the remaining fabric barrier away. Seeing Max exposed like this, vulnerable, but trusting fucking took my breath away. I tried not to stare, not wanting to make her feel self-conscious, but my brain was caught in a feedback loop. Are we really doing this? We're really doing this. Holy shit, we're really doing this!
I touched her, gently, delicately. Max responded quickly. Her breathing quickened, she started to murmur and moan, whispering my name.
"Feel good," I asked.
"Oh God yes," she moaned. I grinned. One of the biggest perks of lesbian sex. Plenty of practice with the equipment. Not that my sexual experience was limited to solo performances.
Fuck, it was hard not to think about Rachel. If I had known back then what I know now. Shit, I don't know what I would have done. I still can't believe Rachel was fucking Frank. I can't wrap my head about it. Of all the crazy shit Max told me about, time travel, the tornado, all of it, Rachel Amber falling in love with Frank Bowers was the one thing I couldn't believe.
She was right of course. Max is always right. It's a gift, and a curse. Frank was at her funeral. I never saw him look so small, so broken, like the empty husk of what used to be a human being. The fact that he skipped town the same day, no mention of my debt, no effort to collect from any of his other customers, just gone without a trace. He really loved her. And…she loved him.
"Chloe," Max panted.
"Just relax Max. I've got you," I murmured, kissing her softly. "Just enjoy yourself."
"Is there…is there anything I can do for you?" she asked. "I want you to feel good too."
"I'm good. This is your time Max. Don't worry about me," I reassured her.
"I always worry about you."
I blinked, once, twice, and a few times after that. Do not cry Chloe.
If I'm being honest, I know that Rachel didn't feel the same way I felt about her. We were friends that fooled around every now and then. That…that was all it was to her. We'd get high, we'd fuck, no big deal. Not for her anyway.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe Rachel was eighteen years old and didn't know what the fuck she wanted out of life. Maybe I was just too clingy and insecure and fucked up to handle it.
Maybe I'm not being fair to her. Maybe she loved me as much as she could. Maybe I should just be grateful for the time we had together. Maybe…maybe I should let her go.
"Chloe, I'm…" Max whimpered. She was close.
"I know. Just let go Max. Just let go."
Max came back to me. It took five years, a bullet, and fighting her way through time itself to get to me, but she came back. And in that time, she's shown me nothing but her love and her friendship. After all, she's still Max Caulfield. She's still this massive dork who says, "Are you cereal?" when she gets upset, gives as good as I get when I tease her, and snaps Polaroids at wildly inappropriate times.
She makes me smile in laugh like I haven't done in years. She loves me. I still can't believe how much she fucking loves me. I don't deserve it. Maybe some version of me, the one who was willing to die for the town I can't stand did, but I don't. But I want to.
I've been selfish, stupid, self-destructive, but I don't want to anymore. I want to be the person that Max sees when she looks at me. I want to be the girl she turned back time for.
"Chloe!" she cries, squeezing me tight. She's warm and sweaty and out of breath and the most beautiful thing in the world.
"Max..." I love you so much.
"Wowser."
And just like that, I lose my shit. Goddamn, she's still Max Caulfield alright. I snort uncontrollably, cackling like a deranged fiend. Max starts giggling too, and even though the moment's been ruined, I'm totally ok with it and I know she is too. One of the benefits of falling in love with you best friend.
"I love you nerd," I say, kissing her once I can breathe again.
"I love you too."
We spent the rest of that evening in the back of my old pickup truck, looking at the stars, trying to guess their names, making them up as it suited us. I know, doesn't exactly sound all that romantic. Screw that. It was fucking perfect.
