The Man of Steel: Omake
Supertown blues
As Superman soared over Metropolis' busy streets he decided he really hated the new film, Guardians of the Galaxy.
'The Raccoon Saved More Lives than YOU!' one of the anti-Superman protesters signs read.
The group had formed shortly after Superman battled Zod and his troops, apparently under the impression he had been irresponsible in using his powers. Like THEY had ever had planet bursting strength! It certainly wasn't HIS fault all those people died and buildings got busted.
A flash of green light appeared in the sky, and a figure in a glowing green yet somehow CGI looking uniform appeared.
"Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds! Can I get your autograph?" Superman exclaimed.
"I just happen to look like him!" the green figure bitched. "I'm Green Lantern."
"So, no autograph?" Superman teased.
Green Lantern visibly ground his teeth.
"So what can I do for you?" Superman asked. He brightened, "Does your home town of Coast City need defending?"
"Oh HELL no," Green Lantern muttered. More loudly he said, "I've been sent as a emissary of the Guardians..."
"Yes? Are they offering me a medal?" Superman ask brightly.
"No," Green Lantern said flatly, "they're charging you with negligent homicide."
Superman stared blankly at him, hoping he was joking. "Well, crap," he sighed.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
The Guardians, as it turned out, were reasonably merciful. While they did convict Kal El of negligence causing death, they did weigh the mitigating circumstance of it being his first case, and the fact he was a moron. So they gave him a suspended sentence, ordered him into a remedial superhero training class and made him write 5000 times 'I will not fight battles in cities.'
To be continued...
Notes: Yes, still ragging on Superman: Man of Steel. Let's hope Dawn of Justice sucks less.
