Ok, people. I don't own any characters in this story. It would be awesome, but unfortunately no.

Killers Freakin' Anonymous

Chapter 2

Freddy gets ice cream

Alright. Where were we? Oh yes. Pennywise runs from the room crying hysterically. Blah blah blah. Let's just get down to business.

Mr. Buzzkill- Who's going next? Freddy, would you like to go next?

Freddy- No.

Mr. Buzzkill- Okay, what happened to you this week?

Freddy- (sigh) It started when I was going into someone's dream. I was going to get some teenager. When I got into his dream, I was about to jump on him and kill him, but he thought it would be entertaining to kick me in the crotch. I immediately fell to the ground and he thought it was very funny to piss on me. He did. After he peed on me, he gave me a wet willy and resumed to kicking my ass. Well, I got scared and left his dream. I realized that he was haunting my dream and started crying. The next day, I tried to get a 12 year old. When I got to his dream, he was holding a baseball bat and beat the living crap out of me. I then tried to kill him. It didn't work. When I jumped for him I got a faceful of bat. He put his butt on my face and rubbed it in. He was fat, so I couldn't get him off. Stupid fat kid. I was almost smothered to death. I was so upset that I went to get some ice cream. I realized that they don't have ice cream in hell. I went to the store and the clerk shot at me. When I left a bunch of teenagers jumped me. They took all of my ice cream. I really wanted some ice cream, so I killed a fat guy and took his. I realized it was frozen yogurt, so I got mad and kicked his body and my foot got stuck.

Mr. Buzzkill- How did it get stuck?

Freddy- I miscalculated my aim. I was aiming for his leg, but realized that his leg is lower than I thought. I went home and fell asleep. When I woke up for some reason all my stuff was gone. I must have been high and pawned all my stuff off to score some coke.

Mr. Buzzkill- You were high on coke and got beaten up by a fat kid?

Freddy- Yup.

Mr. Buzzkill- And along with that, you killed a man for his ice cream?

Freddy- Exactly

Mr. Buzzkill- So, what happened afterwards?

Freddy- I was out of food, so I went to the store. The clerk shot at me. When I left a bunch of teenagers jumped me... again. They took all of my ice cream. I really wanted some ice cream, so I killed a fat guy and took his. I realized it was frozen yogurt, so I got mad and kicked his body and got my foot stuck.

Mr. Buzzkill- Okay. Well, what happened the next day?

Freddy- I was out of food, so I went to the store.

Mr. Buzzkill- This is an everyday thing for you isn't it?

Freddy- No, one day I killed a fat guy and it really was ice cream.

Mr. Buzzkill- You really need a hobby.

Jason- He really needs to get laid.

Freddy- I did. I just don't remember everything. I woke up and my expensive stuff was gone. It was awesome all the way up until then.

Jason- Not the first time that's happened.

Mr. Buzzkill- Okay let's move on.