Wow, thanks for so many reviews! Craziness. Well you win and I get to "vent" some more.
I think you will all find it interesting if you refer to S03E21 at 29:20.
That's the inspiration for this chapter.
Stronger than Fake Loyalty
Elena's POV
I hold my breath as I knock.
There is a small comfort offered to me in that I am attempting to defy one of my sire-bond commands. Damon told me that I would go back to Stefan. I know now that I must avoid that at all costs. But it will happen before I know it - if I cannot negate the siring. And all because I loved him. The past tense I have begun to use does not escape me. The love I had for Stefan as a human remained exactly the same when I became a vampire. As time passed over the first few days of my adjusting, however, it weakened in the face of Damon.
Damon.
What am I ever going to do?
Finally the door opens, and I'm greeted by Caroline. Her face makes me turn away, it's so covered in a mix of pity and disappointment. She steps outside, and we quietly sit together on her front steps.
"Where is Damon?" She asks slowly, testing for my reaction, I suppose. I merely shrug. I truly wish I knew where he was. Turning to Caroline, I see that she's frowning. Her mouth opens and closes a couple times, as though she is trying to form words but isn't sure which ones to pick. I sigh.
"I know about the sire-bond theory," I inform her, and the way her mouth snaps shut confirms my suspicions that it was her idea. But that's why I came here. "I need help breaking it."
She turns to me, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "Yes! Elena! Let's find Stefan and-"
"No!" I shake my head, a shadow of fear passing over me, "Caroline, I know you want us back together, but listen to me. When Damon found out about the siring he told me I would go back to Stefan." I need her to understand. Her eyes widen slightly and she nods.
"So you're worried if you go back to Stephan now, it won't be real," she concludes sadly. And she almost got it right.
"I know it won't be real, Caroline!" I try to convince her, "I- I have- I feel- I need Damon!"
I can tell that this is not enough for her. But I know that she will do everything she can to break the sire bond, and that is exactly what I need her to do. Especially now that she knows anything I potentially might have with Stefan would be a lie in my mind. And for some reason that I cannot place, she needs me and Stefan to work.
"Fine, fine!" Caroline sighed, "I'm gonna call Tyler, we'll see what he thinks, okay?" I nod, a small smile creeping onto my face. Tyler. Tyler will actually understand, at least a little more so than anyone who has never been sired.
Damon's POV
I stare out the window, barely watching the road as I zoom miles and miles away from Mystic Falls. Somehow I try to convince myself that I did the right thing, that I set Elena free. Over the years I had turned the odd vampire here and there, and honestly there was a time when one of them was sired to me. At the time I was not connected to my humanity and it was easy to use her. I didn't really need her to love me, I was still waiting for Katherine; I just loved it when she did everything I said. It was the first time I had ever felt in control and so wanted. But everything is so different now! I slam my fist against the steering wheel, rage clouding my vision, and I have to swerve to stay on the road. I don't want to control Elena. I love her, I just want her to choose me!
But maybe Stefan is right. I obviously don't deserve her. Why would Elena ever choose me? I am so wrong for her. Yet still. Still a nagging voice keeps wondering if my little brother is all about free will, or if he will relentlessly try to change her until he gets her back. He has already gone to incredible lengths, lengths that human Elena would have surely broken up with him over. Forcing Jeremy to become a murderer? Not a way to get back in her pants!
But what do I know? After all, Stefan and Elena are meant to be. Maybe there are different rules in that scenario. Whatever, not my problem. Not anymore.
I push down on the gas a little more, egging on my car to take me away faster from the little town of Damon-Fucks-Everything-Up.
Elena's POV
I glance around the table awkwardly. I'm sitting with Caroline and Tyler, and the tension is incomparable.
At first, when he had come in, she had greeted him warmly, smiling and hugging him before planting a kiss on his lips. He had stood stiffly through the whole thing, just staring at the floor.
"What is it, Tyler?" She had asked.
"You know, if you wanted information on the sire bond, you could have just gone straight to Klaus," Tyler suggested, attempting to be neutral but betrayed by his bitterness. Caroline took a step back, her jaw dropping slightly.
"What?" She breathed.
"You heard me," Tyler was really getting angry then, "Take up this siring shit with Klaus! He's the oldest vampire ever and I'm pretty sure he's sired more than any other! He'll tell you, he obviously loves sharing his life story with you!"
"Tyler…" Caroline pleaded, but he turned his face away. It was then that I stood up to intervene.
"Tyler, I need your help, I can't go to Klaus with this."
And then we sat around the kitchen table, and now here we are.
"What can I do for you, Elena?" Tyler asks, and I try and work through exactly what I need to ask him.
"Well, I'm sired to Damon," I take a deep breath, "But I think I also have real feelings for him." I search his expression, trying to read into what he was thinking, but it was blank. "Tyler, what was it like with you and Klaus? How did you find out that you weren't acting under your free will?" I ask desperately.
"He made me hurt Caroline," Tyler answers stiffly, "Even when I told him flat out that I wouldn't do it, I did it anyway. Even though I loved her more than myself….something in me subconsciously couldn't resist his command. That's when I knew that I had to break free." I sigh. That will never happen for me, because Damon is the one I want to be with.
"I wanted him when I was a human, too," I remember hollowly, and wonder not for the first time why I didn't just choose him back then. If I had, no one would be questioning my motives, trying to pin it on some form of compulsion instead of what I really want. This seemed to throw Caroline, for the next second she had cut in.
"No, Elena, you did not! You wanted Stefan when you were human! Remember? The choice? The reason you became a vampire in the first place was because you were coming back for Stefan!" She ranted, clearly peeved and believing that my siring was now clouding my memories of my human life. I shook my head.
"Caroline…" But I didn't know what to say. Human me had been given a choice, and she had made the wrong one; why? Because it was safe. I knew this was true. I loved my safe Stefan. It's like he will never die. That's what I had confessed to Matt, a lifetime ago. And Damon had seemed on the verge of death at all times, and that very thing made him so much more alive.
"I thought that all of this choosing was over," I whispered, my voice catching as tears formed for the thousandth time in my eyes, "I thought that now, it was over with Stefan, and I could finally be with Damon. Just be with Damon. Why did this have to happen this way? It feels cheap." Now the tears are beginning to flow over, and I look down at my lap.
"Elena… why exactly do you want to break the sire bond between you and Damon?" Tyler asked. I blanch. Why did I want to break the sire bond so badly? The bond between Klaus and his hybrids had caused them nothing but pain, and he treated them as nothing more than servants. I feel my eyes flicker back to meet Tyler's.
"So that I can be with Damon," I answer with all the honestly I can manage.
"You can be with him now," Tyler disagrees, frowning, "So why do you really want to break the sire bond?"
He's really going to make me say it. He's going to make me reveal all my insecurities, make me reveal my deepest fear.
"So that Damon can be with me," I choke out a sob, wondering for the enth time why this had to happen to us.
"Elena…I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Klaus," Tyler says, "Real love is stronger than fake loyalty."
I smile through my tears. I know that he's right. That is what Damon was pushing me towards with Stefan. Fake loyalty. For me to be with him again only because Damon said it was the right thing. Yet I can't bring myself to resent Damon for it, he was only doing what he thought was right.
"Damon told me to live the life I want to live," I start slowly, "And I want to be with Damon." My small smile grows as I speak my next realization out loud, "I guess technically that means I have no choice but to chase him down."
Caroline is looking at me in horror, but my grin doesn't fade. Like it or not, Damon has bound me to himself. I can almost feel his arms trapping me against him once more. I almost feel the freeness I felt this morning. I stand, resolving to ignore the sire-suggestion that I reunite with Stefan. Deep down I can't shake the implanted notion that we will be back together, but I'm banking on Damon telling me that that isn't the case, so that I can be wrapped up in his beautiful trap for all eternity.
I would love nothing more.
As I move to open the door, someone knocks. I look through the glass pane to see Stefan.
My heart races mechanically as the door swings open.
"Stefan."
We will be back together before I know it
Okay guys, now I obviously have to write another chapter, because this is not a Stelena story. Somehow Damon has to realize that he needs to fight for Elena, he can't just keep allowing her -even pushing her- to return to Stefan. This is kind of an extreme example of that.
Next chapter I'm gonna delve into why I think that Caroline has such a bee in her bonnet about Delena. And I'm sorry Tyler, but you're not gonna like it!
Please send me more of your lovely reviews.
