AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey, hey, hey! Alright, here's another little reason why NOT to become overly drunk. So, if I haven't yet convinced you with last chapter, trust me, by the end of this chapter, you will MOST definitely be a believer. ENJOY!

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:

I own nothing but cookies.


The 15 Reasons Why You Should Say No To Alcohol

#2: Table Dancing.

NOBODY'S POV:

Arm in arm and laughing at the top of their lungs, Gwen and Kevin stumbled into the fancy restaurant, clutching bottles of booze in their white-knuckled fists.

"Hello, welcome to Gabrielle's. May I seat you two?" A hesitant yet amazingly polite, old waitress walked up to the two drunken teens.

"Uhuh!" Gwen chirped, leaning against her boyfriend for support as her knees threatened to give way under her tired and sore body.

"Okay." The waitress forced a smile, but stared at the two with weary eyes as she caught sight of the beer bottles. "Where would you prefer to dine?"

"Me and my girl want a ceiling seat, please." Kevin grinned, tightening his grip on the giggling red-head's arm.

"Um, excuse me?" The taken aback woman's eyes widened in surprise.

"Excuse you!" Gwen's face took on a shocked expression. "You burped? I didn't even HEAR it! Sorry, must be going deaf." Gwen looked down at her feet in sadness.

Kevin nodded sincerely. "It's all right, Gwen. We can always get you some hearing aids."

"Aw, thank you, Kevin!" Gwen looked up at her boyfriend admiringly. "He's always looking out for me!" Her gaze flickered back to the waitress. "Isn't he amazing?"
"Sure." She sighed impatiently. "Now, about that ceiling seat..."

"Yeah, we want one." Kevin smiled happily.

"Yes, well, you see, um, we don't..." She paused, trying to find the right words without cussing at the two. It was extremely hard. "We don't HAVE ceiling seats."

Gwen looked at the waitress with a puzzled expression. "Why not? It would make it sooo much more fun to lap dance in!"

"I beg your pardon?" The elderly waitress gasped, nearly dropping the menu. Having no idea what-so-ever what a lap dance really was and taking it in the wrong context, the waitress was mortified beyond return. Surely the absentminded, red-headed girl didn't mean...

"Pardon?" Kevin eyed the waitress confusedly. "I don't think I have one, sorry." He turned to his girlfriend questioningly. "Did you bring my pardon, Gwen?"

She shook her head madly.

At this point in time, the waitress was so aggravated that she felt like throwing up the menus and pad of paper and just storming out of there like a bolt of lightning. But she really needed the money...

"Okay." She sighed. "Well, why don't I just find you ANOTHER seat to sit in? Surely it won't make THAT much of a difference..."

"Fine." Kevin groaned disappointingly. "But it's coming out of your pay check."

Gritting her teeth, the waitress led the two to a vacant table in the middle of the restaurant.

"Let us know when you're ready to order." She muttered glumly, then high-tailed out of there as fast as she could. As she ran into the kitchen, she thrust the notepad into another waiter's hands, her expression as grim as that of an executioner.

"It's YOUR turn." She growled. "TABLE 6."

Meanwhile, back at table 6, the drunken Gwen and Kevin were brewing up mayhem.

"Yo Gwen," Kevin suddenly grinned, eying his girlfriend with a smug expression. "Ever tried SINGING in a restaurant?"

"Oh my gosh, no!" She giggled. "Is it fun?"

"Hell, yes." Kevin chuckled. "Here, I'll demonstrate..."

"How about you DON'T?"

Kevin spun around in his chair to find the owner of the voice, his dark eyes landing on their new, unfortunate waiter.

"Waaaaassssuppp?" Kevin grinned like an idiot, lifting his palm to give the man a high five.

The horrified waiter just stared at the hand like it was green and warty, and then flashed his irritated gaze back to Kevin. He sighed. "Please, sir. TRY to behave yourself. Everyone else here is attempting to enjoy their meals."

"Okeydokey!" The dark-haired drunk chuckled loudly, causing a couple heads to turn and glare at him from nearby tables.

"Would you two care to order?" The waiter used all of his strength to muster up a half-convincing, fake smile.

"Uhhhhh, ummmm, errrrrr, ehhhhhhh..." Kevin pondered out loud.

"OOOH, I KNOW!" Gwen suddenly yelled as she sprang up from her chair, sending it crashing down to the floor.

"Miss, PLEASE keep quiet!" The waiter hissed sternly.

"Sorry..." The booze-inflicted girl looked down at her feet with sad eyes as she sat down.

The angered man rolled his eyes. "So, ma'am, WHAT is it exactly that you so suddenly KNEW?" The waiter tapped his foot impatiently.

"Weellllll," Gwen looked up at the ceiling in deep concentration. "I forgot. But I know LOTS of things!"

"Of course." The infuriated waiter clenched his teeth. No wonder that other waitress went running for the hills. He thought exasperatedly. "What would you like to drink?"

"Waaaaater!" The drunken red-head baaed like a sheep.

The waiter nodded, then turned to where Kevin sat to take his order.

Only Kevin wasn't there.

"What the...?" The waiter scratched his head confusedly. "Wasn't your boyfriend JUST there a second ago?"

"Uhuh!" Gwen laughed. "Can I let you in on a lil' seeeeecret?" She beckoned him closer.

"I... I guess?" The waiter raised an eyebrow in surprise as he leaned in closer for her to whisper in his ear.

"He's MAGICAL!" Gwen whispered ecstatically with dreamy eyes.

At those words, the waiter felt like his head was about to explode. He couldn't take it- he just COULDN'T take all the insanity. But, like any other professional, he took a deep breath and kept his cool. "Okay, then!" He fake-smiled. "Do you know where he is?"

"Nope!" The girl chuckled, rocking back in forth in her chair.

Suddenly, a loud clatter of silverware sounded, echoing through the building. Turning swiftly on one foot to where he heard the noise come from, the waiter gasped in absolute terror as he caught sight of what was going on.

Because there was the delusional Kevin, dancing shirtless like the crazy drunk he was on a large, consumer occupied table.

"OH MY GOD! I LOOOOVE TABLE DANCING!" The hysterical red-head screamed, jolting out of her chair faster than the speed of light.

Without time to yell or even to breathe, the waiter watched in horror as Gwen jumped up onto the table and began dancing like a maniac with her boyfriend, expensive silverware soaring across the room as the table shook under their feet.

Finally finding his voice, the fear-struck waiter did not hesitate at all with laying down the law.

"SECURITY!" He wailed frantically, his hands perched on his head in disbelief.

Three minutes later and the two teens had not given up on their table dancing. In fact, it had increased in dirtiness, created large, threatening cracks in the table, and scared the living crap out of every single one of the customers.

But, out of no where, an enormous squad of security guards swarmed into the building and sprinted towards the table, colliding with it and smashing it into the ground, along with the two drunken teens who were still laughing like idiots.


AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:

And there you have it, everybody. ANOTHER, very CRUCIAL reason why not to overload on the alcoholic beverages. It will result in a VERY high risk of public table dancing. LOL. :) And about the security guards attacking them, just like in the last chapter... I guess I just REAAALLY get a kick out of that, even though it's quite cruel. :D Okay! That's all for now! Review if you love me! BUH BI!