Dedicated to Joucelin for introducing a new phrase to me.

Chapter Two

" Daley, if I don't go pee, I'm gonna wet my pants!" Lex said heatedly as her glared up at his formidable stepsister. "And I'm getting sleepy too. If's almost midnight. You guys have had me looking for this adversary2113 guy for hours now. "

Daley protested: " Hey, this guy or whatever it is wrote a whole trilogy about Captain Russell and his brother wanting to make a sex slave out of you !"

Eric broke in from the sidelines, " Actually, I could almost see that part, Cap'n Chaos gave me the creeps."

" So does soap and water, " Daley snarled at the interruptor, " Lex , did you get any hints or clues off his fan fiction profile at least, before your tired ass had to piss and snore?"

Lex looked at the tired group. Mel had her head in Jackson's lap , leaning over by Daley's huge four poster bed. Eric was laying on the shaggy green chaise lounge and Nathan as on his stomach on the bed, looking at Daley haranguing Lex.

" Here's what I know, for the third time, "' he emphasized, unfazed by Daley's attitude. He's from Memphis. He's read all those weird books that kook MacHale had written, which, by the way, were really written by Walter Sorrells, Brad Strckland and John Vornholdt, a sci fi writer. Anyhow, " he rapidly went on as Daley literally growled at him, " I finally hacked his password. It was easy once I figured out the adversary reference. It's to some old Julian May scifi novels. Here's his favorite stories and authors. Some are good, some, well, they're kinds like him. Sort of perverted."

" Some of the nicer ones are jelissa lover, Jocelyn hades, sugar 133, sorry, sugar 144, the other must have been her evil twin. " He looked at the group.

Silence. Apparently, having a whole alternative imaginary sex life had soured them on his jokes.

" There's some other good ones as well : serendipity 545, ambern, maxianax, annoyedintexas, dolphin girl. There's some people there with talent."

Eric barged in : " Fuck the good ones, who are the rest of the pervs. I'm so gonna be ragged at school when people think me, Nathan and Jackson have been having threesomes on this site. All 'cause some damned Pedo-bear is lurking in the woods."

" Pedo bear, " Nathan spoke up , a dazzling smile on his Disneyesque face" Run Boo Boo run." he neatly blocked the stuffed bear Eric threw at him.

Mel spoke up: " The only way I would ever touch you would be with rubber gloves, a body suit and a ten foot pole. Lex, who are the worst offenders?"

" Well, this adversary guy is in a league of his own, although, at least he killed off everyone who as trying to rape me in the stories, even if I did wind up…'SORRY, NO SPOILERS HERE

" Anyhow, adversary, strong writer, shadow lev and cerbera sta seem to be the more questionable ones. Not that their stories aren't written well enough, although adversary need to get the W key fixed on his computer desperately, and they aren't all slash. Some of them just have us kill people. And each other."

Eric: " Oh , yeah, the Dark Eric ones. I kinda liked some of those."

" And what about the ones with my dick up your ass? Like those too, living vicariously through them? " Jackson asked dangerously from his spot by the bed. " Oh, I'll gladly give you some sexual feelings, like my size twelves on your nuts."

" Calm down, Eric didn't write them." Mel said, kissing Jackson's cheek. She stared at him until he growled an apology at Eric.

" Sorry, it's just that, I don't have anything against gay or bi people. I'll even admit, " he glared at Nathan and Eric both, " if, IF, I was ever going to touch a guy, it'd be one of you guys. But I'd a whole lot rather do without for a long time first. I love Mel. And I like women. I can't say the idea of touching a guys has never crossed my mind, but I've never really wanted to act it out. And I sure as hell don't want a story about my sex life, real or imaginary on the Internet."

" Amen to that, " Daley said, flopping on the bed by Nathan, " I mean, Mel, you're beautiful, but I walk on carpets, I don't munch them."

Mel exploded to her feet: " That's a horribly homophobic thing to say. Besides, " she had a twinkle in her eyes now, " I don't like redheads all that well ." Jackson grinned at her as she sat down on his lap and kissed him again.

Lex rolled his eyes at the eternal hormonal antics of the older youths.

" What are we going to do?" he asked.

Jackson got to his feet and spoke to the group: " I say , we use the money we got for the shows and the books, fly to Memphis, hire a local investigator and find this , Person. And , convince them of the error of their ways."

" Man, we can't hurt someone. " Nathan said in alarm.

" I don't plan on it. " Jackson said, smiling, " if I learned one thing from Taylor while we were on the island, it's what money can do. Why beat someone up when we can bribe them?"

" And if they can't be bought?" Daley asked.

Jackosn popped his large knuckles loudly, " Then, we beat the hell out of them. In a nice, friendly sort of way."

He was unaware that at that moment, adversary as posting yet another sexual misadventure of Nathan, Eric and Jackson in another Helping Out a Buddy Chapter. And a very familiar blonde haired teen was standing over his shoulder with a smile of pure evil on her face.