The next few days passed by with the same little shifts here and there… they certainly weren't back to a normal, warm routine, but Arizona's outbursts were becoming less and less, and her warm, smiling self was seen more and more. They were eating lunch together whenever Callie's surgical schedule allowed, and exchanged more and more common pleasantries as the days rolled on. The hope propelled Callie through her days and, once again, she looked forward to seeing her wife, with a childlike anticipation of what would happen next. "We're getting there" she smiled to herself as she walked to pick up Arizona from Moore's room. "Tonight I'll try to keep the conversation off work though; I don't think we're far enough along to discuss my new case…". Today Callie had to amputate a 16 year old girl's foot after the girl blatantly ignored Callie's stern warnings to let her severe injury heal…
Once dinner was cleaned up and Sofia was down for the night, the two women took their places on the couch. Callie had run out of small talk and the dreaded topic came up. "I heard a few Interns talking in the hallway today and it sounds like you've had a tough case this week" Arizona hesitantly said. "Of course she already knows about this" Callie thought, "…the way people talk in that hospital!". Callie took a deep breath and replied "Yea. It's been a draining one… I didn't think you'd want to talk about it. Things have been going so well recently and I didn't want to ruin it by going there yet… I'm not sure if we're ready for that conversation so I ha—" ~ "Stop." Arizona interrupted. "I know why you haven't mentioned it. I'm mentioning it though. I'm not sure if we're ready either. …if I'm ready. But we have to start somewhere and this is me starting. So tell me about it."
Callie took a deep, steadying breath as she debated the outcome of this conversation and wracked her brain for where to start… "I guess let's start at the beginning…" Callie filled Arizona in on the details of the case, right down to the boat being named "Pickle". She got more and more relaxed as the story progressed and saw a hint of Dr. Robbins in Arizona's facial expressions. "Maybe this is a good place for us to start" she thought as the explanation came to a close and she readied herself for her wife's response.
"Wow! I can see why the Interns were so animated about this. It's definitely a tough case and forced everyone involved to make some hard choices. I remember one of my first experiences as an Intern with how hard and unfair our jobs can be sometimes…" Arizona wistfully and sadly replied. The two women sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments as the emotion of what they were about to talk about began to wash over both of them. Arizona spoke first…
"Her parents were right to consent to the amputation. You gave her mother the right advice and she had to hear it. Someone has to be the bad guy. The girl may not understand yet, or perhaps ever, but having a life is better than no life… and she has so much of it ahead of her. …and with advances in western medicine, life will eventually go on as if it never happened. It's the getting there that's hard. A lot of hearts will break along the way. The pieces will come together for her though… one day, she'll suddenly be reminded that they made the choice because of how MUCH they love her and that it's their lives now too…." Arizona broke on the last sentence; a break that has been a long time coming as the anger, sadness, longing and regret washed over her. Callie went to her wife and held her and cried with her. Arizona settled into Callie's arms and let herself be held as sobs racked through her body. After a long moment, Callie spoke through her tears. "It is OUR life and I will do whatever it takes for us to get there. Whatever you can't do, I will. That's how this works, Arizona."
Nothing further was said of it that night… after both of them regained composure, Callie helped get her spent wife ready for bed. As she drifted off to sleep emotionally exhausted from their evening, Callie couldn't help but feel grateful. She knew that her and Arizona just took a giant leap forward. Her goal wasn't to go back to who they were anymore, but to move forward to who they would be after having overcome such sadness and tragedy together… Things were surely shifting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part III to wrap it up?!
