Transmutation

Cold

The woman, a few years older than Mai, handed off a small bundle. Shame made her face flush and she stared down at the ground. A few wildflowers, weeds some folks called them, sprouted up from the dirt near the front steps of her tiny home. She concentrated on them, sweet red things, delicate looking but tough. "It's all we can spare." Three youngsters clung to her legs, and three sets of brown eyes stared at Mai with a mixture of fear and wonder. "There's some rice and a few dumplings and a bit of fruit."

Mai took the bundle and turned away. Zuko was further up the path, waiting for her. For a moment she hesitated, thought about running off alone. She could blend if she had to. A lot of Fire Nation citizens knew what she looked like, but she had no feature that stood out like Zuko did. A bit of makeup, a different hairstyle and no one would recognize her. Zuko, he would make their escape and their lives so much more difficult. Mai felt her own shame then. It crept across her skin like some pox, ugly and itchy.

"Are you all right, Lady Mai?" The woman, like Zuko the night before, wanted to touch Mai, just a hand on her shoulder, something to loosen the stiffness of her frame, and melt the ice that seemed to have taken up residence in her bloodstream.

Mai's voice cut the woman deeply. "Don't call me that."

"I, I, please, I'm sorry. We're sorry for what's happened. My brother, my husband, me, we all believe in the Fire Lord. What they're doing is wrong." Distraught now, the young mother swept her arms about wildly, indicating nothing and everything.

"Pity that you're one of the very few." Bitterness seeped from Mai. It spilled outward, infecting everyone in its path. The children stepped back as a group, one biological entity, and ran back into the hovel they called home. Mai turned on her heel and walked toward Zuko. Then she stopped. "Thank you," she called over her shoulder, paying her respects to manners.

Her sympathizer mouthed a 'you're welcome' that Mai did not see.

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Zuko watched as she stuffed the food into her satchel. "That was kind of her."

Mai shrugged. She wondered how far small acts of kindness would get them. Something moved in the rainforest, something large and clumsy. Mai reached into her sleeve and with a fluid motion pulled out a blade.

"Kenji*," she spat when Zuko's closest advisor and good friend appeared from amongst the verdant tropical trees.

"Whoa, Mai; friend here, not foe; put the damned knife away."

"If you were such a great friend and advisor, none of this would have happened." The statement was completely unfair and cruel, but right now, Mai gave no thought to Kenji's feelings. Her anger had to go somewhere.

He understood. Kenji always understood more than she gave him credit for. He knew Zuko and he knew her too and their relationship, their love, he understood that as well as anyone else, even Iroh. Mai was grateful to have him and grateful that he had not betrayed Zuko. She would never trust fully though, not anyone but Zuko. All that cynicism, all her sarcasm and gloom, everything that had been tempered by her love for Zuko and those first happy years, they were back and they were at full power. It was their time to flourish. This new world Mai lived in was made for everything that came naturally to her. The new Fire Nation was immersed in darkness and Mai intended to survive, even if just to spite the rebels. And Zuko would survive with her.

"Perhaps you're right, Mai. But Zuko's alive. Right now, you need to focus on that. He's alive and you're alive and I'm here to help you both. I won't abandon either of you, ever."

"Good to know." Mai continued to walk. The jungle encroached further onto the path and she swiped at branches and leaves with tight, coiled rage.

She could hear Kenji and Zuko talking. Their easy camaraderie irritated her. The urge to stomp back and smack them both almost overtook her higher brain functions. She sucked humid air up through her nostrils before yanking out a blade, aiming and wounding a tree far up the path. Mai grabbed another and another, assaulting thick trunks and thin trunks, burning up the energy that was stored inside like some mountain of freshly mined coal, dark and dusty, needing only a source of ignition.

"Mai, she's kind of scary right now." Kenji tugged on Zuko's cloak, stopping the former Fire Lord. "I mean, look at her. What's your take on her behaviour?"

"She won't let me touch her, Kenji." It consumed Zuko, her emotional and physical distance. Overcome by very intense emotions he could not contain and the stifling heat, he threw back his hood and let tears trickle down his cheeks. They joined the trail of sweat and combined to form larger, salty drops. He wasn't embarrassed or ashamed, not in front of Kenji. His raspy voice trembled and his hands reached outward, grasping for something. Zuko's heart was bruised and battered and on the verge of shattering. He'd been betrayed and cast out. He was an anachronism. He no longer served a purpose, nor did he belong. Mai's coldness added the terrible possibility of 'unloved' to the list.

"Ah, she's afraid, my friend, so afraid. And she needs to be strong and in control. Mai needs to get you to safety. She can't think about anything else. Do you understand?" He patted Zuko's shoulder, an inadequate gesture, but all he could give.

"How do you know?"

"If she's not afraid, she's insane. And Mai is not insane. She has her ways. Don't push."

All her blades re-sheathed, the woman in question faced the two men. "Let's move. Idle chatter has no place here and now."

"You heard the lady," Kenji said.

Birdsong, the drone of insects, and the wind caressing the trees joined with their soft, steady footsteps to make a new forest song.

*Those who have read certain other stories may recall Kenji. He's normally a happy, upbeat sort of guy who enjoys joking around….not so much right now.

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A/N: I've got a mini obsession thing going on now. It will calm down soon. I'm thinking flashback next time (thanks Lucy), something that gives a little more insight into the mess.

Now, back to Interface, Chapter 19.