Chapter Two:

The sun was setting.

"Lily! Lily! Where are you?"

Ah! There was Petunia. She looked more concerned than she had been for the past few days. They had been confined to an orphanage as they were not yet of age. It was so cruel.

Petunia ran up, blotches of red painted on her face. "Hurry up! You're going to miss dinner! You know they don't wait!"

She looked towards her sister. "I don't care."

Sniffing indignantly, Petunia turned and stumbled away in the opposite direction, attempting to regain her lost dignity.

It was only 2 weeks. 2 weeks until Hogwarts. 2 weeks until a decent life, until she was free, until she could see her friends, until she could forget everything that had happened. 2 long weeks until she could pretend everything was normal.

But what was normal?

It was pretending her parents were still alive.

She lay on her stomach and placed an ear to the musky sweet smelling grass.

Help me. I've forgotten how to live.

It was getting colder and colder. Even the sunshine was abandoning her. Never before had she felt so alone.

Ten past seven. Dinner was over. She would have to starve for the rest of the day. She would be hungry. But she would feel so empty and isolated that hunger meant startling her into feeling some human emotion. This is what she has to endure. THIS IS WHAT SHE AHS TO ENDURE! How can she stand living like this for the rest of her life?

Finally, a silky breeze flew over her head, churning up her limp, lifeless red hair. She had not bothered washing her hair for a long time. What was the point? She didn't need to feel presentable to the world! Let them stare.

Shivering slightly, she reluctantly sat up to leave. The earth was still and dark. She began to feel a bit scared.

There was a rustling noise. She pivoted quickly, then scrambled up to go.

She didn't like this. This loneliness. It was eating her up.

She was being consumed!

She was being torn apart!

How could she face this?

In a fit of panic, she slammed her hands over her ears to block out her thoughts.

And she ran. She ran far away.

-_- o -_-

The day had finally come.

She couldn't help herself. She felt a smile reaching upwards for the first time since the funeral. She was going to be okay. She was going to see her friends. She was going to live. She was going, going, going. And she would be gone.

On the platform she thought back to her first year…

Flashback:

"Oh, Lily darling! We're so proud of you! The first witch in the family!"

"Mum! Don't hug me so tight! I can't breathe!"

"Oh, Lillers. Your Mum means well. But we ARE proud of you! You'll do just fine!"

"Thanks Dad. I'll have to go now! I promise I'll write! There's got to be a postshop or something… I love you!"

End Flashback.

Someone bumped into her. "Oh, hi Lily! How was your holiday? Did you go anywhere special?"

She tried to focus, but the face before her was a blur. She couldn't see properly. Was she crying? She couldn't even tell if she was alive anymore.

Sometime later, that blurry face moved away, probably to shed some disgust at her oily hair, her blank expression, her bloodshot eyes. She knew she didn't look anything like Lily Evans. The Lily people were used to.

"Lily! It's SO good to see you! Come on! Let's get on the train! I want to tell you all about France."

Lily stared and stared and stared. But she couldn't see again. Yes, she WAS crying. Stop it! Stop it! You're embarrassing yourself. Reaching up a trembling hand, she wiped her eyes. That was better.

Oh, it was Mara. Her best friend. She didn't feel the same jolt of excitement when she saw her again after a long holiday. It was different now.

But sweet, bubbly Mara didn't give a toss. She just pulled Lily onto the Express and shoved her into a compartment.

Was she claustrophobic? Sitting in this clogged room, she felt like she was.

BANG! The door was flung open and four boys tumbled in.

"Yo! What's up!"

Mara sighed. "Sirius, stop trying to talk like a gangster. It doesn't work for you."

Peter gave an excited bark and clapped his hands over his mouth. Remus just smiled wryly and snuggled down into a nearby seat. James bounced down beside Lily and slung an arm around her. "Lils! Have you missed me?"

Usually, Lily would have slapped his arm away. She would have screamed at him for being an idiot and moved as far away from him as possible.

But this wasn't usually. She didn't feel like she had enough energy to do all those things. She was tired. She didn't even want to talk. So she just inched away from James and huddled into a corner.

The world was blurring again. Damn it! STOP CRYING!

AN: I have not written a chapter for… yeah, I can't even count that much. Please forgive my long absence and REVIEW!