Disclaimer- I don't own anyone affiliated with the WWE or whom used to be.. I only own the ones that are people that don't really exist.
A/N- It was so great to get everyones reviews on the first chapter. You don't realize what they mean to me.. Sweet Right Here was my first fanfiction ever and too know that you all have come back for the sequel means the world. Thank you guys. I especially like that you are asking me about You Were Right There For ME... I will tell you that the next chapter is halfway done. I am back to working on it, I've gotten enough emails in the past few days to know that Katlyn is missed and needs to make a comeback... so she is on her way, never fear. Again I have to thank Dreaming Egypt for reading through this and helping me work out the kinks. She is also helping me find my way again with the other one and she has indeed become a blessing to me and my writting. Egypt you have become a great friend and I appreciate you!
Please Review!
Stacy
Chapter 2
After pulling out of the hospital parking lot, I could feel the tears welling up inside of me. What was I doing? Where was I going? I couldn't go home, that would be the first place Mark, Vince and all the others would look for me. I know Vince will be angry for my disappearance, hell I was on a five year contract with the federation. He is surely going to try and hall my ass into court for breaching that contract, but you know what? I don't care any more.
Everything that I've ever worked for in life was for nothing. Here I'd spent all that time busting my ass to lose all the weight so that I could be healthy. For what? What good did it do me? Why did I get so involved in a love and a career and plan so far in advance? So that it could all come crashing down on me. I should've known everything was going too damn good. Was there something I could've done to prevent this? Did I do something wrong to the man upstairs?
Pulling my car over to the side of the road, I couldn't stop the anger that washed it's way over me. It was so strong and over powering that I found myself beating the steering wheel in front of me. I felt so disconnected from my body. Like it wasn't even me that it was happening to, but then the pain in my heart felt real. The anger that rushed through my veins was real. WHY! Damn it! Why me? Why now? After my early years being so rough, with the physical and mental abuse, couldn't the rest of my life gone easier? Why did I only get a few years of happiness?
Rubbing my fists into my eyes, I want to scream out. I want to hurt something and make it feel the pain that is choking me and making me sob so uncontrollably. I want out. Out and away from the hurt that is blinding me and taking away my ability to reason with myself.
Suddenly there is a knock at my window. Jumping I reluctantly pull my hands from my eyes to peer over at the person that is intruding on my mental break down. Noticing a uniform I hit the button and lower the window. What now?
"Miss are you ok?" The officer asks me.
Nodding my head, I swallow hard and try and fight the urge to plead for his help. "I'm fine, officer." I reply hoping he would leave before I lost what was left of my pride.
His face looked uncertain. "You sure? You look rather upset. Are you in need of some assistance?" He prodded.
Shaking my head I place a smile on my face, one that I don't feel in my heart. I'm sure the officer could tell it was forced, but I didn't want to bring anymore unneeded attention to myself before I could get away. "I'm fine. Really. I just got a little emotional, is all." I reply hoping he doesn't want any more information.
Nodding his head he stands upright and peers down his nose at me. "I commend you for pulling over while you were upset miss, but this is busy highway and if you are ok now, I suggest you get moving and get yourself home. It isn't safe being on the side of the road like this and all alone."
Swallowing down the thick lump in my throat, I thank the good officer and roll my window back into place and pull into the oncoming traffic of the highway.
Home. The good samaritan officer told me to go home, but I don't know where that is anymore. Hell, I didn't even know where I was anymore. I don't have a clue how far I've driven or in what direction I was going when my car had steered itself onto the side of the road. All I know right now is that I gotta get away. I gotta find something to take my mind off of what was happening to me. Somewhere safe to take me away from the memories that were chasing me down the road and haunting me of happier times.
I don't want to think of the long nights, of the past three years, where Mark and I had found ourselves laying awake and talking into the early morning light. I couldn't keep reminding myself of all of the plans and dreams that we shared quietly together. I don't want to think about the other times when talking was the last thing on our minds, just he and I in a darkened room touching, feeling, and whispering words of endearment. How I will miss those nights. Even if I didn't leave, last night would always have been our final night together in that way.
"OH GOD!"
I know I screamed it. I felt it when it broke free from my chest and I can hear it echoing back to me from the hollowness in my car. I'm scared. What am I going to do? I need something. Something to hold me and tell me that it's ok, that I'm only dreaming and when I wake up I'll be fine. That the cancer isn't real and that I won't be suffering when it is all said and done. That I won't have to be in pain before I die. That Mark and I will grow old together and life will continue to be all that I've ever wanted or dreamed it could be. I don't really want to be alone. Not right now. I don't want to be in my last moments of life and not be surrounded by the people I love.
Steering my car to the closest off ramp I pull off the main highway and follow the signs along the side of the road to the nearest gas station. As I pull up I park my car in front of the payphones and jump out, not even bothering to turn off the engine. Running to the phone I punch the zero for the operator, using the sleeve of my sweatshirt to clear the snot from under my nose.
"Operator, how may I direct your call?"
I can feel the panic taking me over as I listened to her voice, it wasn't the one that I needed now though. I needed to hear Marti's voice. Marti- the one man that understood me better than anyone in my entire family, the only one that I can think of that can help me now.
"Operator, can you please tell me the nature of your call, please."
"Y-Yes, I need to place a c-collect c-call please." I stutter then give her the number.
As I wait it feels like an eternity passes. Why isn't someone answering the phone? Is everything OK at home?
"Ma'am I'm sorry but no one is answering at that number. Do you have another number you'd like to try?"
"NO.. NO. Please can you try the number again. Someone has to be there." I plead with her.
"Sure, I'll try again."
With my hand on the side of the booth, I can't stand still as I wait. The dreadful pull of my panic making me want to run faster growing stronger with each passing moment. "Please Marti… You have to pick up!" I sob out loud into the receiver.
"Ma'am your call has been connected."
"Cheyenne? What's going on, Princess? Where are you?" Marti's voice sounded thick with sleep and worry.
"I don't know! I'm so scared Marti." I sob, closing my eyes to the pain. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I want to understand it. Help me."
"Chey, baby, what's the matter? Tell me where you are?" His voice sounded alarmed and I hated the feeling it gave me. It frightened me even more.
"I-I'm at a gas station. I-It's over Marti… Everything is… is over." I can't get the words out. I wanna tell him… but I don't want to actually say the words. If I say the words out loud then it'll make it true and I don't want it to be true.
I can hear Marti sigh on the other end of the line. "Chey, I don't know what happened between you and Mark, but he's been calling here worried sick…"
"NO!" I scream, dancing in frustration in front of the phone. "I-it isn't him. I-It's me Marti. Can't you see? I'm all fucked up! I… I'm not going to get better. At least… I don't know if I will or not."
"Wait. Princess, what are you talking about? You aren't making sense to me." He asks me his voice sounding concerned. "What's wrong with you?"
Rubbing my nose along my sleeve again, I try to clean some of the snot from my upper lip to keep it from mixing with my tears and running into my mouth. "God, Marti. What have I done for this to happen? I've always tried to be a g-good person. I just don't understand w-why?"
"Why what, baby? You are talking in tongues here. Tell me what's wrong."
"I c-can't say it. If I tell you then it makes it all the more real. Can't you see that? P-Please, M-Marti, can you take it all away?" I ask hoping he'd just say yes so that I could find my way home and to all the things familiar to me. I didn't want to run, but now that I have I need a reason to turn and face the issue at hand and I needed him to help me do that.
"Baby, I can't take it away unless you tell me what it is. Look, find out where you are, I'll come and get you. Hell, if it's too far, I'll get Mark to come and see you home."
It was useless. No body could help me. I would be all alone in the fight for my life. I needed Marti to understand, but he wouldn't open his eyes and see the big picture, and hell if I wanted Mark I wouldn't have left Nashville. Didn't common sense tell him at least that much? Wouldn't he know that I would've stayed and let him waist away his time while watching me wither away into nothing.
"Cheyenne, please talk to me baby. Where are you?" Marti pleaded.
Shaking my head I looked back to my car sitting idle behind me. It was time to go. "I'm sorry to have woken you up at such a late hour Marti…."
"Chey, please don't do this… don't hang up."
I know I was beyond reason, but I felt a numbness wash over me. A sudden strength to face the fear myself… or at least enough vigor to try and make him believe I would be fine. It would be short lived, this I knew from the time I'd spent in the car, but it was time to end the conversation and move forward. "I'll be fine, Marti. I promise. Don't worry about me."
As I remove the phone from my ear I can hear him screaming at me to hang on and talk to him, but I couldn't do that to him, anymore than I could with Mark. It was crazy how all of a sudden I realized in one second that I wouldn't want people to remember me as I struggled, but to remember me alive and well. No matter how hard it would be, until I knew for certain what destiny held in my future, I would not let those around me suffer too. If it is my time to go then I know they would forget about me in time, and they would be able to live happily and not be taken down by my fate. That in itself is enough to keep me away.
