I'm sincerely hoping the show doesn't just throw these two back together. They really need to heal the hurt and get it all out in the open before they get back together. That's what this chapter deals with. Healing the hurt, moving past it, and repairing their relationship.
When Aaron comes to consciousness, he feels like he's wrapped in a blanket of warm security. Once he's fully awake, he stills, realizing that warmth comes from Robert. He lifts his head and sees that Robert is sleeping as well, so he tries to slowly extricate himself from Robert's arms. He succeeds, but not before he wakes Robert up from his slumber.
"I had this awful dream," Robert starts.
"I'm living that awful dream, thanks," Aaron finishes and stands up from the floor. He wipes at his pants, wiping the dirt off and walks toward the kitchen. Robert takes a deep breath and stands up to follow him.
"Care for a cuppa?" He asks opening up the cupboard, finding the mugs. He needed to busy himself with something to get his mind off of Robert leaning against the door jam watching him. Piercing blue eyes meet the back of a dark haired man and they blink a few times.
"Yeah, mate, thanks," Robert replies walking groggily into the kitchen. He sits down at the table and swipes at his eyes. He resigned himself to a breakfast of silence.
"I'm not your mate." Aaron says as he sits the steaming mug down, "Let's get that straight." He sits in the chair across from Robert and sips quietly at his mug.
"Sorry, yeah, you're right." Robert sips his coffee. "So what are we then?"
Aaron looks up from his cup, "What?"
"Well, come on now, spit it out. If you don't want to be mates, what do you want to be then?" Robert holds a breath for a moment, awaiting his answer.
"I dunno yet." Aaron stands up and fills his mug again, "Top off?" He lifts the kettle a little higher in anticipation of the answer.
Robert nods and Aaron fills the mug with more coffee. Both sit in silence as they try to digest what's going on.
"You never told me why you did it." Aaron started.
"Did what?" Robert just wanted to prolong this conversation as long as he could.
"Don't be daft Robert, why did you hurt Paddy?" Aaron slides down in his chair, never making eye contact with the other man.
Robert fiddles with the tablecloth for a moment and then looks up to Aaron, "I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't set out to hurt him. I just wanted to scare him." Robert takes a moment to gather his thoughts.
"There's more than that." Aaron says.
"Truth?" Robert asks.
"Truth." Aaron confirms.
"He sent that note to Chrissie and I wasn't ready to come out. I'm still not ready to be out, but you took that into your own hands didn't you?" Robert says a little louder than necessary.
"Can't say as I'm sorry about that." Aaron says with a smirk.
"I know. I didn't deserve it tho," Robert sips his coffee again and just breathes in the silence of the room.
"I was just tired of all the lying," Aaron finally says.
"No, you just wanted to hurt me. You wanted me to lose everything that I had... You know what? You won. Are you happy now?" Robert glares across the table to the dark eyes man.
"You're right, I did. But I'm not happy it turned out the way it did. I was just so focused on making you pick me over her, I lost my head for a moment. Sorry." This was the first sympathetic thing Aaron had said to Robert since he showed up unexpectedly.
"Thanks," Robert says and drops his mug into the sink.
"This is going to sound pathetic, but you made me feel good... almost... happy I guess." Aaron was still not looking at the other man.
"Is it pathetic that I felt the same way?" Robert looks down to his shoes, expecting to be laughed at.
"No, I guess it's not." Aaron finally says and looks up to Robert. "I loved you."
A ghost of a smile spreads across Robert's face, but it's gone as quickly as it came. "I loved you too. I still do."
"So, where do we go from here?" Apprehension shinning in Aaron's eyes as he asks the hard question.
"I dunno. But the real question is where do you want to go from here?" Robert stuffs his hands into his pants pocket and leans against the counter.
"You've done nothing but hurt me." Aaron starts.
"Oh come on, there were good times too." Robert says with a smile, which causes Aaron to laugh a little bit.
"Yeah, yeah there were."
"And do you?" Robert asks quietly.
"Do I what?" Aaron asks, not wanting to hear the question he knows is coming next.
"Still love me." Robert says shifting a bit.
"I answered that last night," Aaron shrugs, "But right now, I don't like you very much." He finished.
"Fair enough," Robert says awkwardly. "Can I hear you say it?" Robert looks back to to Aaron, hope filling his eyes.
"I love you." Aaron says so quietly that Robert's not sure that he even heard it.
"I love you too." Robert says and walks over to Aaron's chair. "If you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove that to you."
Aaron stands up and stretches, "There's nothing in the kitchen to eat. Do you maybe want to go out for breakfast?" He asks.
Robert smiles, "I'd like that."
Aaron looks to Robert's eyes, searching for the sincerity that he hopes is there. Seeing it, he smiles just a little, "Me too."
It wasn't perfect. Half the time, it wasn't even good; but they had each other. That's all the really needed.
