Chapter 1
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I looked around my room, thinking about specials times with Jacob as my eyes stopped in familiar places throughout the room. The more memories that flooded my mind, the more my heart ached for him; yearned for him; broke at the thought of him. The tears that soon followed slid down by cheeks and into the palms of my hands lying in my lap. I closed my eyes as the tears continued to soak my eyelashes.
I remembered Grandpa Carlisle once telling me that he truly believed we all had a soul, even though we were vampires. My dad believed differently. He never could really understand that if we truly did have a soul, one day God would show mercy on us for living a peaceful life and choosing not to kill humans. Before Grandpa was changed, he was the son of a preacher. His faith carried on with him into this life. He continually told me that I needed to at least believe we have a soul, giving myself something to hold on to; a hope that we will one day be free.
I decided to give it a shot. To trust Grandpa. To trust God. Maybe, just maybe, if he really does care for us too, as he does humans, he would hear my prayer for Jacob, too.
"Dear God, if you're really there, and if you really are someone for us immortals to believe in too, please hear my prayer. The one that I love is in grave danger. I ask that you would please keep him safe for me. Please help me to find him so that we can be together. I ask that you please show mercy on us, if not at judgment, at least this one time. Amen."
As I opened my eyes, I immediately felt a calming peace flow through me. I still hurt and ached for Jacob, but I knew in my heart he would be safe.
I glanced up to see Grandpa Carlisle standing in the doorway with a small smile on his face. As he walked over to me, I scooted over, giving him a place to sit.
"I'm glad you chose to trust God with this, Nessie. We may not be able to make it to heaven one day because of what we are, but I truly believe that God still hears our prayers. And I believe he heard your sincere prayer just now. Don't worry, Jacob will be safe"
He pulled me closed, lightly kissing my forehead. As he pulled away, I gave him a small smile.
"Thanks for all those talks we had about this. I'm glad now that no matter what Dad said I still listened to you."
He gave a slight chuckle and a smile before kissing my forehead once more and rising to head to the door.
"Oh and Nessie, what I came up to ask you. Have you finished packing? Your mother is wondering. It's almost 11 and you have to get some sleep before you have to get up at 5 tomorrow."
I nodded my head, "I just finished earlier. But I don't know if I will be able to sleep. With these past few weeks, and tomorrow and—"
"Are you sure this is the right thing for you to do, sweetheart? Are you sure you don't want the others to go on to Italy? You'll probably be too stressed to do much anyway." He said, his eyes full of sincerity.
"I can't stay here. I have to be the one to find him so that I will know for sure that he is okay. I have to go."
He nodded as he turned back towards the down. "I understand, and I would probably make the same decision. You truly are a Cullen. You will do anything for those you love."
"You have to give Grandpa Charlie a little credit, now. He is a sheriff and saves lives everyday." I said with a laugh.
He rolled his eyes.
"Yes, of course, Charlie. Can't forget good ole Charlie! Sheriff of Forks! I just hope you didn't inherit his paranoia." He laughed.
"Goodnight, Grandpa." I said still laughing with him.
"Goodnight, Reneseeme." He said, walking out the door.
I stood up, walking over to the dresser to get my pajamas. As I changed, everything about tomorrow continued to rush through my head. Up by five. Plane leaves at seven. Arrive in Italy at six. Rent a car and travel the thirty minute drive (Hour and a half for humans) from Florence to Volterra.
As I crawled into bed I thought about the night Jacob proposed to me. I could picture it as if it was playing out before me; as if it was a movie.
"Reneseeme Carlie Cullen, I promise to love you forever; every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"
I could not stop the sob that started in my gut and rushed up my throat. I couldn't remember a time when I had felt this much pain or longing.
I finally fell asleep a few hours later when I could no long cry, dreaming of my Jacob once again.
