Author's Note: Hehe, it's back. Yep. It is continuing! Then again, all of my stories are continuing, it just depends on when I have time to update.
Speaking of time to update, I want to apologize, I'm not going to be able to update my other stories for a little while. Schoolwork has been really piling up, and I have to look at my priorities. Sorry!
Thanks to my sole reviewer, Pascy. I will make it work. Trust me.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything ;-)
Cyclonis
Why?
It's a question I ask myself a lot of the time, because I find it sharpens my mind. To have perfect control over herself, one must know herself completely. Why people act stupid, why people do things they regret—it's because they don't know themselves, and therefore cannot control themselves.
Control. It's all about control. Control is the epitome of power, and power is the meaning of life.
So I ask myself why, and hope that the answer might enlighten me.
Why did I allow the Storm Hawks to capture me? I had the crystals and the abilities to blast them down, or at least escape. Even now, I can feel crystals all around me, and it wouldn't be hard to mold them to my will. Why was I still here?
The answer doesn't surprise me much; after all, it is hard to surprise yourself.
Pride. Pride mixed with self-preservation.
I had gone from the ruler of the greatest empire on earth to just another defeated villain in a matter of minutes. I found more pride in being captured and held prisoner by my greatest enemies than to be hunted like some animal across the Atmos. Here, I was honored as a dangerous enemy, and as much as I hated to admit it, the Storm Hawks were good fighters. There wasn't much shame in being defeated by such honorable foes, at least far less shame than running and hiding for the rest of my miserable existence. In their makeshift prison cell, I was a person, and I could tell that they would be unable to harm me, because they cared about protecting people.
How naïve of them.
Perhaps I would take them down, if the mood stuck me. The dying act of the evil Master Cyclonis, to rob the Atmos of their heroes.
I wasn't in the mood right now. It was the self-preservation.
Survival instinct exists in practically every form of life. Food, water, shelter. Stay away from danger. As thoughts grow more complex, the instinct grows more complex. This person looks dangerous. A gut instinct not to explore that Terra without a lot of backup.
Out there, they all wanted to kill me. In here, I was fairly well cared for (as long as that idiot Wallop wasn't doing the cooking—I would rather starve than eat what he called food) and the Storm Hawk kids had no where to take me for trial. There was no where left. Atmos was in ruins. I had made sure of that.
They wouldn't hurt me, and they wouldn't let anyone else hurt me while they held me in their custody. They called it 'honor.' I planned to make use of that for my own needs.
o.o.o.o.o
Why?
It was a question I asked myself as I stood outside of the door to Stork's cell.
I knew their plan to spring free all the prisoners. I knew with my fumbling, incapable subordinates that I probably couldn't stop them from escaping if I wanted to.
The dungeons of Cyclonia were rarely used. Actually, we kept all of our prisoners of Terras like Zartracla. I polished up a few unused cells that we didn't use for storage, and put them all in solitary confinement. For as long as they thought there were actually prisoners here, they would stay, and there would be no Storm Hawks interfering with my plans.
They were trapped by their minds. How ironic.
However, this was no excuse for me coming down, again, to stand outside of the Merb pilot's door. This behavior of mine was irrational. It would accomplish nothing.
If I did not understand my own behavior, I had to ask myself, 'Why?'
I was surprised by my answer: I liked his company.
Once before, a girl, Piper, had told me that I was just a lonely girl who tried to cover it up by taking over the world. I ignored her. I brushed the comment aside. You can't be lonely if you have everything. Loneliness was another way of saying weakness, and I was not weak. I am not weak. I never will be weak.
If I was not lonely, then I did not need his company, so I whirled on my heels and returned to my throne room. I counted myself lucky that he could not have seen me sulking outside his cell door, just out of vision range.
o.o.o.o.o
When I had talked to him, that first time, he asked about the ship. That's probably what interested me so much about him. He had one question, and he didn't bother to ask about his teammates, he asked about his precious Condor.
It made me admire him.
Not to push aside the importance of keeping one's allies safe—after all, you need them to be whole to fight for you. What impressed me was that he was one of those full of nonsense do-gooders, but he still had the smarts to inquire about his escape vehicle. He had his priorities right—self before friends. If friends even exist.
I was surprised to see such logic come from a Storm Hawk, but then again, was he not the one reported to have said, "I'm only here until something better comes along."
I wonder if he would be interested in joining Cyclonia…we could use talent like him. I could use talent like him.
o.o.o.o.o
It was Piper's turn to bring me dinner.
I could tell by the way the footsteps rang down the hall. Junko made a lot of noise, Stork I had to strain to hear, Finn usually stomped or banged something, and Aerrow walked regularly. However, Piper strode. It was almost like listening to a girl in heels strut, except she wasn't wearing heels.
Besides, I had memorized their rotating schedule already, and it was her turn.
I tried to analyze my emotions as her feet came closer and closer to my cell, no, room. Cell implies that one is a prisoner, and I could escape any time I felt like it, so I wasn't in a cell. The cells were only in their minds, and because I obeyed the limits they set, in my mind, too.
The big difference was, in my mind, not crossing those boundaries was a choice, a conscious choice that I made every second. They assumed that the boundaries were immutable, and that gave me the advantage.
The key jangled in the lock, then the door opened, and she came through.
A whirlwind of emotions flew threw me, paining my chest to the extent where it actually hurt to breathe.
She was the first person I truly exposed myself to, emotionally. Even I did not share with myself some of the things I blurted out to her. She could have been my sister.
Instead, she threw it all back in my face.
It made me wonder: was she naturally a bitch? Or was there something wrong with me? Something that made me unlovable?
Due to the observation that she is friends with her entire crew, and various Sky Knights around the Atmos such as Starling and Suzy-Lu, the logical conclusion would be that there is something wrong with me.
Another thought hits me. Why must it be that she is right and I am wrong? Can't there be a grey in the middle? Maybe we're both grey…
The answer comes to me immediately, and the pain quiets down, under control. Knowledge means control, and control means power. The three are all equivalent of one another. The three are all that one needs for success.
The answer was knowledge. The knowledge meant control over my unruly emotions. If I was in control, then I wielded the power.
It was all in my mind.
That was the answer. It was all in my mind. However I wanted to see the world was how the world would appear. That was why I could never really conquer the Atmos: because I saw it as the Atmos, not as Cyclonia.
Now I saw the true power in this room, and whom it was wielded by. And the one in control wasn't Piper, it was me.
"Hey, Piper, my best friend. You brought me dinner? How sweet of you!" I gushed. I put just enough fake sweetness in my voice to make her suspect the falseness of the emotions, but not enough for her to reject it openly.
"Yeah, here you go Cyclonis, don't try anything funny." Every night, it was the same. Every night, there was the same hurt in her eyes as she stared at me, as if she was imagining what our friendship might have been like.
Fool. There are no friends, only allies that you flatter so that you might subtly manipulate them in the future. There are no friends simply for the enjoyment on company.
If she wanted to think that, though, why not let her? One more game to occupy my time, one more sympathetic supported for the poor, dethroned queen—what did I have to lose? Only my semblance of power, and in my experience, it is the true power that matters, not the semblance of it. Wisdom over pride.
"Seriously, Piper," I said, lowering my voice as if in disappointment or regret. "You were the only person I could ever call friend."
I heard a startled little gasp from her, as my words and acting had the intended affect. She whirled back around. "Don't think you can pretend to be all nice now, when you're captured, and think that I'll pity you. Don't think you can have friendship now, when you threw it away earlier."
Inside, I bristled. She was the one who threw it away. She was the one who rejected my offer to join Cyclonia. She was the one who didn't deserve my attention.
Also, I had to admire her determination. She was playing right into my hands, yes, but she almost escaped. Almost.
I let my gaze drop. "I know it's no excuse, what I've done. But sometimes…" my voice cracked here. "Sometimes, I thank the Gods that you finally captured me." I raised my violet eyes, and much to Piper's surprise, there were tears welling up. "I'm a monster, Piper, and I can see it. I hated myself, but at the same time, I couldn't stop. There were nights when I held a crystal blade to my throat, and contemplated ending it there, and you…" I broke off here, for a little sob and a wiping of my eyes. "You were what kept me going. I thought, 'Piper would be stronger.' Or 'Piper wouldn't have let this beat her.' Or 'You've got to get up and try harder if you ever want to be better than Piper.'" I paused again, taking out a tissue and blowing my nose quickly.
"And then when you captured me, you offered me redemption. I don't have to be evil here. I don't have to pretend anything. I know I can never have a new life…or be like you…but being here…it gives me hope…that I might have a chance…" At this point, I broke off completely, burying my head in my hands and sobbing uncontrollably. Surprisingly enough, I felt warm arms around me.
"Hey, it's okay," Piper coed.
The poor little idiot. I wasn't even that good at acting, but she swallowed it all up. I didn't know how she could accept my story without a doubt. A tiny part of me felt a bit bad for feeding her such falsehoods, but mostly, I was disappointed it had been so easy. I had been mentally preparing myself for a huge showdown, and her trusting me so easily was a bit too…anticlimactic.
"Eat with me?" I asked, wiping my eyes and sending her a shaky smile.
"Sure," she replied with a big grin, and we dug into the tray like two sisters.
Poor Piper. Poor, innocently oblivious Piper. I almost liked having power over her without her knowing it more than having publicly proclaimed power. I always like the subtleties of control and influence more than brute force. Who cared about all of the Atmos? It was in shambles already, from the aftermath of the war. No, what I had in my sights for conquering was the Storm Hawks' hearts and minds.
The poor naïve fools. They didn't stand a chance.
hehehe…I like writing from Cyclonis's POV. Probably because I'm slightly insane. Review if you want to; I'm not going to beg.
