Stiles
Stiles is indescribable...he's special, but not the "special" that moms talk about when they try to defend their unusual children. He's awkward, but not the awkward that evokes both mockery and pity. And he's beautiful, but not beautiful like the greek gods or hollywood celebrities. He's special because he's different, passionately weird, and his mouth never stops running with stories as crazy as he is; he's awkward because he's blunt, straightfoward, socially intept and still mysterious in ways which make me think about him, and try to figure him out, as I lay in bed at night; he's beautiful because his eyes have more to say than his never ceasing mouth, because his eyes are as deep as his longing, and because his eyes are only a fraction as deep as his love, his loyalty, and my ever growing obsession with him.
As a werewolf, my senses are heightened. I can hear well; I can hear whispers among the whisps of the winds. I can hear Stiles torment a teacher with his incessant sarcasm from all the way across the school. Then I can hear him laugh. But I can hear more than that; I can hear subtleties. I can hear the emotions behind the words, the pain behind the laugh. I don't know how exactly, or what it even means. It's like he'll laugh, and underneath it all, he'll sigh; or occasionally, cry. To me, that's beautiful. He's been through a lot, like we all have, but he hides it well. He's the one who makes us all laugh; he's the comedic break in the horror of our lives. Then he laughs, and I can hear how he hurts. I can hear his mother's death; I can hear his best friend turning into a werewolf; I can hear his unrequited love for Lydia. I can hear the pain casued by being the second choice in love, lacrosse, in life; I can hear how is friend is stronger than him, more popular than him, smarter than him, luckier in love than him.
If only he could hear how much more beautiful he was.
And his smell...He smells perpetually of fear now; maybe he always has. His life, and the lives of his friends, are in constant peril. He has no way to stop it. He's just a high school student with ADHD, and no superpowers. He doesn't have claws, or even bows and arrows or Mountain Ash. He's average. This isn't his fight, but he has dragged himself into it because this is Scott's fight, and because he loves Scott. And he's afraid. He could die any day. Or what he fears even more, Scott or his Dad could die any day.
But, again, what I love is that I would never know. His hands don't shake, and his voice doesn't quiver. He never hides. He treats every battle like it is his battle to win, like this is his story, and he is the knight coming to slay the dragon. Some people treat him like the side kick. But I think he's the hero. He's the one who really saves the day. He saves us from the mundane, from the stress, from the pain. He's our strength and without him, we'd never even be able to fight. He's...Stiles.
But everyone knows dogs can smell fear. I expected that when I got the bite. To be honest, I was looking forward to sensing fear; I wanted to know who was afraid when Isaac the loner freak walked down the hallway. What surprises me the most about Stile's scent is not that I can smell his fear, it is that I can smell his desire, like a pheremones type of thing. Maybe I can smell arousal; maybe I can smell the blood flowing into certain parts of his body. I'm not really sure; biology was never really a strong suit of mine. All I know is that he smells different sometimes. And the smell drives me crazy, like I'm a shark and his scent his blood.
At first I smelled this around Lydia and Stiles. Lydia aroused Stiles, with her self-confident, teasing, know-it-all, bitchy, and "I don't care attitude." She had that effect on most guys. I could smell their desire too, as pungently as I could smell Stiles' desire. But their smell was unappealing. When Stiles was around Lydia, I began to smell him and his combination of puppy love and lust, and I'm sure if I could smell myself, I would have smelled my own arousal.
Eventually, I began to notice that smell in other circumstances. One time I sensed his desire when the alpha twins passed us, but I assumed that he was thinking of Aiden and Lydia. Then I sensed it when I passed him in the halls, and he was talking with Danny and Ethan. I thought that he probably couldn't tell the difference between Ethan and Aiden. And whenever he thought of Aiden, he must have thought of him and Lydia doing it in the supply closet. Then one time, it was just him and me. And I sensed it. I assumed he was just horny; Stiles was always horny; he always talked about playing with himself (and those talks always excite me a little, if I need to be honest.)
But today, at lunch...I sensed it stronger. I even heard his voice quiver and heart beat fast when he began with "I'm not gay, but." What if...what if all those times he was thinking about me? What if he wants me? What if he is thinking about me right now?
