Edited as of 7/1/13

Summary: Gabriel and Balthazar teach Castiel how to Gangnam Style. Weirdness enuses.

Disclaimer: I own nothing


He had closed his eyes for five minutes. Five little minutes to enjoy the feel of an earthly breeze and soak his wings in the warm rays of the sun. When Gabriel opens his eyes, he expects to find his younger brother, Castiel, exploring the wheat fields of Earth as he had done the first time they came to visit. He is not. Gabriel whips his head left and right, in hopes of seeing a familiar pair of dark wings or a small head of dark hair.

"Oh, Father, why me?" he groans as he jumps up. He'd done so so fast that if he weren't an Archangel, he would have gotten whiplash.

I'll be in so much trouble if Michael finds out I lost him. Again. It's not that he's afraid of his older brother. He just doesn't want to be scolded like some fledgling who managed to get into Raphael's nest. Gabriel shakes the thought out of his head and shoots into the sky, wondering why his Father had wanted Castiel to be taught to fly so early; he is maybe the equivalent of a six-year-old human and he had been taught at the equivalent of three, the same age the Archangels had been taught. The other fledglings had gone to Flight School when they were seven.

Gabriel scowls at the memories of Flight School. He quickly shoves those away and, hating Castiel for being such a fast flyer, begins looking around the land that will later be known as Africa. He isn't at all bothered by the fact that a baby angel has somehow managed to disappear from his sight in five minutes when he, Gabriel, is the Messenger of God and therefore the fastest angel in the Garrison.

No.

Not bothered at all.


Castiel can't remember being more confused. After deciding to take a short flight to stretch out his wings (far too large for his tiny body they are, but he is strong, very strong and Michael has said as much) he became lost and was unable to make his way back to his guardian. At first, he wonders if Gabriel will get mad, but all thoughts are swallowed up by a deeper curiosity when he stumbles upon an odd sight.

It's a group of strange creatures, and they match the descriptions Gabriel gave him of humans. Castiel isn't sure if that is what they are, but he keeps himself hidden in a nearby tree, fascinated by their odd, synchronized movements.

Another group of what he guesses are humans are making loud, rhythmic noises to which the others are moving in accord with. Castiel vaguely recognizes the noise to be music (though it sounds nothing like the music back home), but he has yet to figure out why exactly the other humans are moving so strangely with it.

Maybe he can examine them just a little closer...

"SO you scare me half to death just to watch primitive humans dance?" He is so surprised by Gabriel's sudden appearance that he almost falls out of the tree.

He turns to find Gabriel sitting next to him on the branch, gold-brown eyes brimming with relief and what might even be a little bit of anger.

"I wanted to fly for a little bit, but I got lost. Please don't be mad at me Gabby, I would've come looking for you, but the humans were doing something strange. I wanted to figure out what it was." Castiel's blue eyes have become wide and teary and Gabriel has no choice but to admit defeat. Little Castiel has made him into such a pushover. The huge, innocent blue eyes and pale, wobbly lip only help to further crumble Gabriel's resolve. The fact that Castiel is the youngest of the angels doesn't help either and usually he feels an intense urge to protect him. He will, however, deny it if it comes up.

Even if Lucifer is banished (he ignores the flash of pain in his heart when he thinks about it) he knows that Balthazar will never let him live it down if he acts like a doting, cuddly idiot and Raphael, Anael, and Zachariah would be no better. That does not mean he won't kick anyone's arse if they dare mess with his baby brother.

A small tug on his robe pulls him from his thoughts and he finds himself looking into his youngest brother's curious face.

"Gabby?" he asks. If anyone else had called him that, he would have smote them in their place.

"Yes, Cas?"

"I still want to know what the humans are doing. It's weird and I'm curious."

Gabriel rolls his eyes at Castiel's childish curiosity and pulls him onto his lap. The humans haven't noticed them at all and they won't unless Gabriel wants them to. Which he doesn't.

"They're dancing."

"Why are they dancing?"

"Well, for humans, dancing can be good for lots of things. Since they have to work harder not to get fat and floppy-"

"Like Zack?" Gabriel frowns at Castiel's interruption, and then continues.

"Yeah, like Zack. So one good way to not be like Zack is to dance. They also do it for fun or when they celebrate something or even just to make Father happy."

"Does Father really like it?"

"I dunno. I don't ask Him what He likes." It's not like Father is even around much anymore for him to ask questions to.

Looking at the tiny angel in his lap, Gabriel knows that he really is interested by the idea of dancing.

Castiel doesn't notice the evil smile that spreads on his brother's lips, or the sparkle of mischief that shines in his eyes.

"So, Cas... would you like to learn how to dance?" Castiel's head whips around so fast, Gabriel is almost afraid he'll get whiplash.

The dark-haired fledgling looks shocked, which slowly morphs into hesitance, but eventually, he nods.

"Great", Gabriel does his best to hide his devious grin (with dubious success), "but first I'll need to get Balthazar." At Castiel's look of confusion, Gabriel's grin widens further and says, "He's the only other angel who actually knows any cool dances."

Though Castiel still looks uncertain, he doesn't comment. Gabriel picks him up (Castiel may be a strong flyer but his wings are still too fragile for the warp flight from Earth to Heaven) and takes off.


Balthazar impatiently waits for his two brothers to arrive to their own private space in Paradise. Not thirty minutes before, Gabriel had sent him a message to meet him there. The only reason he had agreed to come (besides the fact that Gabriel can do terrible things to him if he didn't 'cause he totally isn't afraid of him) is because he'd been told they would be teaching little Cassie how to dance. He is to pic the dance. What better than a dance that won't be around for millions of years to come?

His brothers suddenly appear before him.

"Balthy!" Balthazar chuckles lightly at the nickname Castiel gave him when he was much younger and could hardly speak.

"Hey there, Cassie." He lets out a little 'oomph' when he catches the tiny angel in a tight hug.

"So 'Zar, you have any particular dance that you think Cas should learn?" asks a smirking Gabriel.

"What do you think about... Gangnam Style?"

Castiel, his face buried in Balthazar's chest, is completely oblivious to the devilish smiles on his older bothers' faces.


Dean huffs in annoyance as he stands stiffly in a corner of the school pep rally gym. He, Cas, and Sam had stumble upon a ghost who possesses seemingly random victims and makes them dance to death. What type of self-respecting ghost does that?

The case had lead them to a junior high school in middle-of-fricking-nowhere Texas (Gonzales, Sam calls it, where apparently the Texas Revolution started or something. Dean doesn't actually care). Once again, he is posing as a gym teacher and Sam is a janitor (Cas had joined as an office aid). For some odd reason, they all seem to be getting strange looks from various groups of girls and he'd be lying if he said it doesn't make him uneasy (He never admits it though; Dean fucking Winchester isn't afraid of a bunch of middle school girls).

Oppum gangnam style... A strange snew song begins to play over the speakers.

Gangnam style...

Is it just him or do those lyrics sound like 'open condom star'? Before Dean has time to ponder it further, he is effortlessly pushed aside by a mass group of teens who are desperate to get on the gym-court-turned-dance-floor.

The hell? What's gotten into them?

Then the teens start to do the strangest dance Dean has ever seen. At least he thinks it's a dance. It is horrible unsynchronized though; while some kids are flapping their hands together, others are doing some awkward giddy-up movement with one arm while the other is held vertically along their chest. It looks to Dean as if they're trying to ride a horse.

"They're doing it wrong." Dean convinces himself that he didn't jump and squeak like some sort of pussy at the sudden voice. He turns to look at the angel who appeared out of seeming (and probably) thin air.

"Really? And you know how to properly do... Whatever the hell that is?"

"Yes, it's called the 'Gangam Style'. I should demonstrate." Dean watches incredulously as the trenchcoat-wearing angel moves silently to the front of the mosh pit (which is probably the only proper word fit to describe the mass of supposedly dancing teens) and begins to dance. With a completely straight face.

Even the students notice their usually silent and stoic office aid doing what is (apparently) the poper version of the 'Gangam Style Dance'.

"Awww, Cassie still remembers what his big brothers taught him!" Again, with the appearing out of nowhere, Dean things in annoyance. Friggin angels.

He whirls around to find Balthazar and Gabriel standing beside him, faces glowing with a ridiculous amount of pride.

"You guys taught him how to Gangnam Style?" Sam asks after appearing from nowhere. Now Sam was doing it. What is wrong with the world?

"Of course we did! Who else would have the creativity to do it?" Gabriel asks with mock offense.

"Come on, Sammy, you can't tell me you're surprised, right? I mean, much as it pains me to say so, these are the only asshat angels with a good sense of humor."

Gabriel's only response is to join his youngest brother on the dance floor while Balthazar pulls out a video recorder from thin air.

"I'm putting this on Wingspace," he says.