July, 1937
Hand-in-hand the two children made their way across the field. Just like every day since they were forbidden from seeing each other, the two would sneak off to a safe place far away where they wouldn't be caught. The heat of the summer's sun beat down on their backs, but neither decided to take rest until they reached their destination.
Armin let go of Annie's hand for a brief moment but only to climb over a small wooden fence. The boy then aided the smaller girl over and once she was on the other side her hand fell into his again.
"I wish I wasn't so short." Annie mumbled, looking down and straightening out her skirt with one hand.
Her statement only caused the blond boy to laugh softly, "You're not that short." He replied with a grin.
"I am. I'm eleven years old and look like an eight year old." She pouted.
"Who told you that?"
"Jean Kirstein."
"Jean's not exactly an intelligent person." Armin laughed again.
"I agree." Annie couldn't help but crack a smile at her friend, the boy always managed to cheer her up and she loved him for it. A soft laugh then escaped her lips, it was a heavenly sound that rang through Armin's ears like music.
"Want to play a game?" the blond boy questioned.
Annie pondered for a moment, then suddenly to Armin's dismay she let go of his hand but only to tag him. "Catch me if you can!" she sprang away from him and he watched her become smaller as the distance stretched between them. The boy grinned again and chased after her. At that moment, time seemed to slow down.
Armin watched as Annie moved gracefully across the field, the way she ran and darted away from him was like a dance. She was beautiful. When he finally caught her, she started to chase after him. Armin ran as fast as he could but made the foolish mistake of turning around to see how close Annie was, wondering if he still had a chance. It turned out the girl was almost directly behind him.
She brought her hands to his chest and pushed him back, causing Armin to stumble. Annie laughed again and the boy fell onto the grass, he let out a yelp as his head collided with the earth. It hurt quite a bit but the tears that had started to form in his eyes quickly evaporated when Annie sat on top of him, pinning him to the ground. "Caught you", she was smiling mischievously down at him, baring her pearly white teeth.
Armin's face quickly flushed red and his heart started to race, "A-Annie?" The girl just stared at him, blue eyes shining and cheeks tinged with red, "W-What if your father sees us?" he finally stuttered out, it would be a disaster if her father was to catch the two like this.
"We're far away from my father and everyone, remember?" Annie responded, but nevertheless rolled off of him, "How would he ever find out?"
"Oh, yeah." Armin let out a strained laugh.
Annie only frowned at him but it was only for a moment. Her features quickly softened again, "Trust me." She looked into his eyes.
"…I trust you." He finally said and gave her a small smile in return.
Annie's lips curved upwards and she jumped to her feet, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll count first, you hide." Armin's large blue eyes blinked up at her from his position on the grass, "Well," she huffed, "What are you waiting for?" the boy quickly brought himself to his feet, forgetting his troubles once again. Annie's hands covered her eyes and she began counting.
An hour must have passed by, and the two finally grew tired of the game.
"Should we play something else?" Annie asked but Armin shook his head. He rested his back against a tree and closed his eyes, the blonde girl sighed and stood up. She walked towards the tree and sat down beside Armin, when she rested her head against his shoulder the young boy's eyes shot open. He felt his face heat up at the contact. It was nice being so close to her, feeling her body against his.
The two rested like that for some time and Annie began to hum softly to herself. The sound was soothing, but it did little to settle Armin's raging heart and he suddenly felt very overwhelmed again. The secret he had been hiding from her ever since the ordeal began was eating away at him. What if one day he disappeared without reason? He didn't want to put Annie through that, the boy knew he had to tell her.
"H-hey, um, Annie…" Armin addressed the blonde girl, breaking the silence.
"Mhm?" she didn't raise her head and instead started to absent-mindedly pick daisies from the grass.
"I need to tell you something." Armin suddenly blurted. The boy began to fidget and Annie finally pulled back.
"Go ahead." She watched him carefully, giving him her full attention.
"You have to promise you won't tell anyone…" Armin's large eyes conveyed the trust that he poured into her and after another couple of seconds she nodded her head.
"I promise." Her eyes looked suspicious, curious, but also vaguely anxious. Annie could almost smell the fear coming from the boy and it unsettled her. It took him a while to gather the courage to tell her what was on his mind and after letting out a heavy breath, he finally spoke.
"My grandfather is Jewish." Armin took in another breath and held it. He was quick to analyse Annie's facial expression, he wasn't sure what to expect from her. At first, Armin watched as her eyes widened for a brief moment. She then quickly broke eye-contact and looked down to the ground, it seemed like a lifetime before Annie finally replied.
"I see." was all she said, and Armin didn't know what to think. He didn't know what she was thinking, either. Both of them knew what this meant. It meant that if anyone ever found out, Armin, along with his family would be sent away forever. "I won't tell." Annie finally added and Armin's heart beat gained pace after hearing her words, feeling relieved.
"He's not a practising Jew, though…but, my family are really worried…" Armin said quietly, his eyes on the flowers in Annie's hands.
"I understand." she whispered. Armin continued to stare at her while a nervous feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. He knew she couldn't fully understand because she didn't have Jewish blood, she was different.
Moments later, Annie stood up from the grass. Armin watched her skirt flow around her legs as a breeze passed over them, her facial expression was unreadable and it made his heart feel heavy in his chest, "I had better go back now," she said quietly, her eyes failed to meet his.
Armin nodded saying goodbye and watched her back as she left him to return to her father.
Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything…
"If you are caught with me, you know it won't end well." Armin said uneasily a few days later, watching as Annie picked the grass beneath her. She wasn't even looking at him and he felt so sad. It seemed as if she hated him now.
"But I want to see you." was her curt reply, she didn't bother to look up at him as she spoke and Armin felt his heart contort.
"But your father…" hearing those words, Annie's head shot up and her blue eyes narrowed at him. The glare on her face made him feel instantly intimidated, he hadn't realised her soft features were even capable of turning so sharp and vicious looking.
"I have told you before, Armin. I don't care what he says. I don't care what anyone says. I don't care if your grandfather is Jewish, either." she snapped and he flinched.
She was never like this with him. Maybe it was because she knew the truth about him now. He was different from her, and it was unfair. The Führer had stripped him of his identity and he wasn't even Jewish. The boy had heard his parents talking about it in hushed whispers. They had tried to protect his young ears from hearing anything but Armin knew. The boy was smart, he only had to pick up a book or listen to the wireless. The words Armin had been dreading to hear were finally spoken the night before last as he listened to his parents from his bedroom. He was supposed to be asleep but he heard every word. They had said how they would leave, they had no choice and Armin had no choice but to tell Annie, but every time he tried, he found himself lost for words.
For several moments neither of them said anything and Armin just continued to stare at the girl, only wishing that fate had been kinder to them. He regretted mentioning anything to her and he wondered what kind of poison her father was feeding her about people like him. She had been acting off with him ever since he told her about his grandfather. Their time together was growing shorter by the day and Armin did not want to spend his remaining days with the girl he loved so much like this.
"Annie, please come and sit in the shade with me. I can see your nose burning…" the boy said softly with frown on his face, noticing her pale skin turning red under the heat of the sun.
Annie looked up at him, her eyes seemed tired. She walked slowly towards him and took a seat, bringing her legs to her chest and hooking her arms around her shins. She refused to even look at Armin properly and instead, rested her head on top of her knees. "What's wrong?" Armin asked quietly, his heart felt uncomfortable in his chest and his breathing was becoming strained.
There was silence.
"Annie…" the boy dared himself to scoot closer to her, but not close enough to touch. "Annie, please…talk to me."
It was a long while before Annie spoke. When she did her voice was barely above a whisper, "I just want things to go back to how they used to be."
Armin let out a heavy sigh, "Me, too." he looked down and watched as Annie began to rip apart a daisy that was in her hand.
I can't tell her when she's like this.
"A-Annie…I'm leaving." The words Armin had been dying to say, and yet dreading all the same finally tumbled from his mouth. His voice had cracked, as expected tears were already spilling down his face. Annie turned to him, her mouth opened yet no sound came out. She turned away again quickly and her golden bangs fell in front of her face. Armin went to brush the piece of hair away so that he could see her face again but she suddenly slapped his hand away. Armin chocked on a sob.
Annie bit back the urge to cry and stood up abruptly, her teary eyes and red face made Armin's stomach twist and heart sink. He could see how upset she was, her face was full of sorrow and anger. Before he could say anything more, she ran off, leaving him under the tree. The boy panicked and quickly wiped away his tears, "Wait!"
He ran after her, his heart pounding against his chest and vision becoming a blurry mess. Unfortunately, she was much faster than he was and always had been. Armin called out her name desperately, but it was hopeless.
Eventually, he found her in an old barn house, the sound of quiet sobbing had drawn him to it. The young boy's heart lurched in his chest when he saw her sitting amongst the hay. Her hands were covering her face as she cried.
"I'm sorry," he sniffed, wiping away any tears that were on his face with his sleeve.
At the sound of Armin's voice, Annie's head shot up. Her face was all red and her eyes were puffy from crying. She continued to sob, seemingly no longer caring about trying to hide from him. The boy slowly approached her and when he realised she wasn't about to run off again, he sat beside her. He wiped away her tears but they seemed never ending. He had only ever seen her cry once before, which had only been just over a month ago. She was so distraught and it made him even more anxious. For some time, nothing could be heard except for Annie sniffing and hiccuping, the boy was unable to think of the right words to say.
"…I don't want you to leave…" the blonde girl finally whispered.
"I don't want to either, but I have to…you know why." Armin's voice was even quieter than hers.
"I know," Annie's eyebrows scrunched together, "It's because of my father, and men who share his opinions. It's because of the Führer. Because your grandfather is Jewish…" she rambled, tears rolling freely down her cheeks.
"Yes…" Armin was now crying again himself, unable to hold it back.
"I really don't want you to go Armin," Annie cried, "I like being alone, not being lonely…" her whole body shook as she sobbed.
"You have your father…" Armin reasoned, trying his best to make the girl feel better but knowing it would fail. There was simply nothing that could be said.
She only cried harder.
"When are you leaving?" the girl finally brought herself to ask, after forcing herself to calm down.
"Tomorrow…"
"Tomorrow!? But that's too soon." There was a pause and she rubbed her temples in frustration, "…Where are you going?"
"England."
"Will I ever see you again?" Annie turned to him. Her eyes desperate, her thin brows sloped upwards in despair.
Armin felt a lump forming in his throat again, he nodded his head and swallowed, "Yes, one day." The blonde girl just stared at him, Armin could see the doubt in her beautiful eyes, not fully believing they'd ever see each other again. Armin felt more tears fall and he leaned forward, embracing the girl in a tight hug. She returned it, stuffing her face into his shoulder. When they finally let go, his shoulder was damp from all the tears she spilt. She wiped the remaining tears away from her cheeks and their eyes met. "A-Annie…can you meet me at dawn tomorrow…before I leave? I have something I want to give to you before I go…"
The girl nodded slowly, "Where…should I meet you?"
Armin's eyes briefly scanned over the barn house, "How about here?"
"Alright."
Slightly before sunrise the following day, Armin sneaked out and made his way to the barn house where he had told Annie to meet him.
The grass was fresh with morning dew, which caused his ankles to become wet as he walked. He shivered slightly, the nip in the early breeze getting to him. In one hand, he clutched an envelope containing all of the poems and letters he wrote for the girl but had never had the courage to give to her. Of course, it was now a matter of now or never. In the other hand, he held a forget-me-not, which he stole on his detour to the barn. His plan was to confess his love for her and give her something to remember him by.
The blond boy let out a sigh, breathing in the scent of the field and admiring his surroundings for one last time as the morning sun touched the nature he had always thought was wonderful. He would be in a different country, far away from the beauty of his hometown by the evening. His heart weighed heavy in his chest and he blinked frequently to prevent himself from crying. The last thing he wanted was to show weakness.
When Armin reached the barn house, he took a peek through a gap between the planks of wood. The low rays of light shone through the cracks and he could see Annie's pure golden hair, she looked like an angel. He had always loved her hair and in the morning light it looked even more flattering. He took all of her in, admiring her beauty. He wanted to capture and preserve the moment forever. Stepping away from the crack, he finally decided to enter the barn, after all, time was not on his side.
Annie turned to him with a solemn expression on her face. She seemed paler than usual, her eyes even more tired. Yet to him she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and probably ever would see. The girl stood and they walked towards each other, stopping when there was only a small space left between them.
Armin looked down to her, finding it hard to speak. This is it, he thought to himself bitterly, knowing he would never get to watch her grow into a woman. "I..." he began, but was once again lost for words. Annie waited patiently, her expression becoming more pained by the minute. "I love you, Annie." His voice cracked again and Armin frowned. He felt the tears prickle in his eyes and spill over his cheeks.
Why couldn't I be brave for her, just one time? Why must I always show my weakness and cry?
Hearing his words, hot tears began to stream down Annie's face, "I love you too." Her voice was quiet but sturdy.
Armin's large eyes widened for a second, he made a futile attempt to wipe away his tears and then handed her the envelope, "I um, wrote these poems for you, there's some letters too. Please read them. Oh, and here's a forget-me-not."
The blonde looked down to Armin's shaky hands and took both the envelope and the flower from him, not bothering to wipe away her own tears. "Thank you. And I told you before, I could never forget you."
Armin's mouth parted for a moment and he sniffed and wiped his nose, "I'll try and write to you…"
Annie nodded, "Promise me we will meet again?"
"I promise. I promise I'll come back for you." Armin sniffed once more, but managed to smile through his heartbreak. There was silence between them and a small, sad, smile found its way to Annie's face. It was all Armin needed and he took a step back, ready to leave, "Goodbye, Annie."
"Wait," Annie raised her voice and Armin made no further advance to leave. He stood still, waiting for her to speak. Instead of speaking, she stepped forward and pressed her lips against his in a very light and brief kiss. Armin felt the blood rush to his face and his heart picked up pace. The girl took a step back again, her cheeks suddenly rosy red. She then removed the silver ring that she always wore from around her finger. Armin gasped at the realisation of what she was doing. "Here," she held it out to him. He refused to accept it.
"W-what are you doing…?" He stuttered, shocked. Armin knew the ring had belonged to Annie's mother, who passed away when she was a young child. The ring was the most important thing to her, or so Armin had thought.
The blonde girl looked down to the forget-me-not in her hand and stared at it for several moments. When she looked back up at Armin, their eyes met once again, "You can return the ring to me when we meet again, it will connect us while we're apart." She explained. The blonde girl took hold of Armin's hand and placed the ring into his palm, closing his fingers over it with her own.
Armin let out a sound of surprise but tightened his grasp around the piece of jewellery. His brows furrowed and he looked at Annie deeply for a long moment.
"Until we meet again." He finally said, and even though Annie looked beautiful when she cried, he tried his best to ignore the steady stream of tears that had started to flow down her face once more.
