Almost 99% Human

Chapter Two


I held up my underwear with trembling hands. His little laser beam happened to pass straight through my underwear drawer. And of course all the cute panties were destroyed. The last thing I needed was to go commando around an alien like that. Though, maybe a little sex appeal would bribe him to point me to a planet suitable for the Gaea Project. The thought immediately went to the trash bin. He didn't seem like someone that would be felled by simple seduction tactics.

Speaking of Gaea Project, Dad would be a way better candidate for that spaceship than the government. I grabbed my cell phone and called him. "Hey, Dad?"

"What time is it?" he asked.

I glanced at the alarm clock. "Two seventeen." He didn't respond. "In the morning."

"Still early. What's wrong?"

"Well, to make it short, I'm entertaining an alien prince right now."

The line went silent for a moment. "Are you drunk?"

"It's a long story, but if you come to my house right now, you can take his spaceship back to your lab before the government gets ahold of it."

"How many have you had?"

"Dad! I'm serious! Look, I don't have much time. I'm going to take him to the lab and you need to send a crew to pick up his spaceship. You're gonna need a truck and crane. Thing is as big as my house and probably weighs as much."

No other words were needed. The line clicked dead. Well, I hope he believed me. If not, he'll regret not coming to pick it up right away. Eventually the government would request his assistance, but the bureaucratic nonsense was a huge pain in the ass. The reason private companies like ours flourished was because we don't have to answer to a bunch of idiots in power that don't understand what our research is. Or worse, misunderstand it completely. Space was the final frontier and Capsule Corp was going to be the one that explored it if I have anything to do with it.

Hopefully Vegeta won't cause too big of a ruckus at Capsule's employee dorms. As I sorted through my panties, I felt a distinct heat on my neck. That sort of heat when you know someone stared at you. I cleared my throat. "Dad's stopping by to pick up your ship. We're going to go to his company headquarters and figure out what to do."

"What do you mean, we? I'm ditching you the moment you prove to be useless."

"Take off that ridiculous armor too," I ordered, ignoring his insult. Vegeta's insults were like the little roars of baby lions. Not really effective. He knew as well as I that he wouldn't do anything to me. "Your hair attracts enough attention as it is, I don't need that armor making people think there's a comic con going on."

"What sort of attention would I draw in the middle of the night?" he retorted. "Do people on your planet never sleep?"

I turned around and put my hand on my hips. "Are you telling me everyone on your planet went to bed at a certain time? Was that one of your princely decrees? Ten P.M. the national bedtime? Play a lullaby over a loudspeaker, did you?"

Each successive question seemed to make a vein in his forehead pop out and throb. His jaw was clenched and he appeared to be grinding his teeth. I marched over and jammed my finger into his chest, returning his glare with the power of a thousand suns. "Prince Vegeta, if you would please discard your armor, I will personally draw you a bath."

"What?" he asked, and I'm pretty sure if I wasn't in such a bad mood over the panties I would have screamed and ran after hearing that deadly tone of voice. Maybe this Planet Vegeta was a dictatorship and not a benevolent kingdom.

I pinched my nose for added emphasis. "You smell too. We have enough time for you to at least give yourself a quick scrub. I have some clothes around here somewhere my ex left you can wear."

"Your ex?"

I sighed. "An old boyfriend. Mate. Lover. Whatever you called them on your planet."

"What makes you think I would want to wear a weakling's clothes? Especially someone so weak you thought them unsuitable!"

I can't say I disagree, but I can't let you know that. "It's all I have. Once your clothes are washed, which only takes an hour, but I suspect I'll have to run that through the cycle at least ten times before it's even remotely decent, you can put that David Bowie outfit back on. But not until after we're at the dorms."

For a brief second he seemed like he would relent, but he crossed his arms and scoffed.

"How long were you in that giant marble anyway? Don't you want a nice hot bath?"

He let out a long sigh. "Fine."

"Was that so hard? Follow me." I lead him down the hall to the bathroom. If there was one thing to be proud of, it was my bathroom. There was nothing better than a long soak after a long night of work. Vegeta didn't seem to be impressed. I wonder what baths looked like on his planet. "How do you like your water?"

"Hot."

"Okay," I replied and started turning the knob for hot water only. As it filled, I grabbed a bath bomb and tossed it in. It started fizzing and filled the room with the scent of passionfruit and turned the water a pleasant shade of purple.

"What is that vile smell?" Vegeta scowled. "You don't expect me to get in now."

"That vile smell is you. I'm not going to sit in a car ride with someone who simply went through a rinse."

"And I'm not going to sit in something that smells suffocatingly horrible!"

Jeez, he's worse than a child. I stared straight into his dark eyes. "Do it."

"Who are you to boss me around?" He puffed his chest out and glared at me with the haughty superiority of a prince. I'm a woman in a field dominated by men. I don't back down from a simple glare. I returned his glare with a ferocity equal to his. Our eyes locked in a battle of will. And when it came down to the grit, I never lost.

Vegeta's lips twisted to a half smile and he scoffed. "Go."

I curtsied. "Thank you, sweet Prince." I walked out of the bathroom and went back into my bedroom to pack. Somehow the alien fantasy didn't quite match up with this meeting. Well, he didn't look like a spry gray thing with huge eyes and a head, for one. And he also understood my language perfectly. I wonder how. Maybe our telecasts actually reached other planets? How rude of them not to respond. I wonder how many languages he would understand. We had a fair share of international employees that could put him to the test.

There's also the problem of how long he would willingly stay at the lab. I pulled out a pair of shorts and put them on. The research sections we were going to visit had their own sterile clothing to put on and layering those over my real clothes made for a hot as hell experience.

It didn't seem like anything we owned would be able to restrain him, and that was not factoring in the magic lightening finger. Somehow I had to pique his interest or figure out exactly what he needs and ensure I'm the only one who can provide it.

I opened the bottom drawer where Asshole used to keep his clothes. To call Vegeta ripped was an understatement. I hope the shirts would at least stretch enough to cover those muscles of his. He acted the part of a roided up meathead, might as well make him look the part too. "Hmm," I sighed in distaste. Even looking at these clothes brought back bad memories.

But, seeing a certain bright color, I did a have a small opportunity to tease him a bit. Pink lemonade it is!

I walked back to the steaming bathroom and set down the clothes. I glanced over at Vegeta and saw something peculiar in the water. What is that? I leaned forward to take a closer look. Something long and fuzzy, like a tail.

A tail?

Did he have a tail earlier? I didn't see anything near his waist earlier. Oh wait. I was too busy staring at his crotch to notice anything like that.

Vegeta splashed my face. I yelped and jumped back. He glared. "Do all the people on your planet stare when you take a bath?"

I grabbed a towel and wiped the water off. "Sorry, I tend to get lost in thought sometimes. Is that a tail?"

"Is that a tail?" he mocked. "Of course it is. What else could it be?"

The water was too murky to see his other anatomy, but you never know when it comes to aliens. "So your species has a tail." His hair was wet, but it still kept its shape rather well. Crazy. I wonder if it's hydrophobic like ducks' feathers. I sat on the toilet seat. "You never answered my question earlier. How long were you in that spaceship?"

"Three months."

"Three months!" I gasped. "Where did you come from?"

"Arlia."

"Arlia? Where's that?"

"It's gone now."

"Gone," I echoed. He glanced at me and said nothing in response. "So did you escape from Arlia?"

He stared at me for a moment and shrugged nonchalantly. "You could say that."

"Do you know anything about your ship?"

"What?"

"The propulsion systems, the A.I. inside, what it's composed of, you know technical stuff."

He scoffed. "I am a warrior Prince. Why would I concern myself with useless details like that?"

I sighed and rubbed my brow. "I guess you wouldn't know. How do they measure time where you come from? You said three months, but three months to me is measured by our moon."

"What do you want to know exactly, woman?"

"Bulma," I corrected. "I'm also wondering how old you are."

He growled in annoyance. "My race grows until they reach the age of thirty. I'm three quarters of the way there."

My eyebrows arched. "So we're about the same age? No, you must be younger if you still have growing to do. How long do you live?"

"Saiyans die in battle."

"No one grows old?"

"I tire of your questions, woman."

I crossed my arms and glared. "I tire of your attitude. I'm trying to help you and all you're doing is arguing with me."

"Who said I need help?"

He did have a point there. Then again, he did crash land on our planet without any sort of knowledge aside from the mysterious ability to understand the language. If anyone else got to him instead of me, there would be a lot more weaponry involved.

By all accounts I should feel afraid of him, after all there's his physique and magic abilities enhanced by a quick temper to worry about. But I didn't feel any sort of hostility from him. Honestly, he reminded me of a pet cat. Maybe that's why I felt safe teasing him despite his threats.

"Well, I'll leave you be for a little longer. Put those clothes on when you get out. I think it's obvious which goes where."

As I finished packing, I heard a gruff voice say, "Bulma."

Wow, Vegeta used my name. I turned around with a smile. The moment I saw him, my heart stopped.

He stood stark naked in front of me with a certain appendage standing at full attention. Oh god, oh god, what am I going to do? I stood there with my jaw agape as my mind played through hundreds of scenarios which weren't exactly considered kosher for a proper lady like myself.

He took a step towards me. "What was that substance you gave me?"

"Coffee?" I squeaked out.

"Coffee?" he repeated. "Is that an aphrodisiac on this planet?"

His husky voice sent shivers through my body. "It's just a normal drink on this planet."

"A normal drink?" he repeated, taking another step closer.

I swallowed. "Yes. I mean, technically, it's a mild stimulant, but caffeine doesn't normally effect your-"

"Quiet." He took another step closer to me. "Do you see what it's done to me?"

I swallowed the bundle of nerves forming in my throat. "I do. And umm, you should go take care of that somehow…"

"You will take care of it for me."

I'll admit that it's not a really bad proposition, I mean, he's a really good looking guy – alien – prince dude, but we're also on a time frame, and I also don't know if our species are compatible, and you know, there's a lot of little details like why am I even thinking about doing that with an alien dude prince guy I just met?

Jesus, Bulma, go without a boyfriend for a year or two and you go crazy. Have some dignity! I cleared my throat and banished all the naughty thoughts from my mind. "Whoa, buster, not so fast. You wine and dine a lady before she does any of that for you here." I put my hands on his chest and pushed him out of the room. "And put your clothes back on!" I shut the door and locked it, then leaned against it and sighed heavily. He's humanoid, all right. Might as well be one hundred percent if that's what he looks like.

He pounded on the door. "Bulma!"

"You know how to fix it!" I leaned against the door and fanned myself. "How much time should I give him?" Even if he's humanoid, I have no clue if he's human in that department. What if it takes him hours? "Vegeta!" I yelled.

"You finally changed your mind?" he bellowed back.

"No, just tell me when you're done."

"Wench," he growled back.

I giggled and walked to my makeshift lab. If the beam hit my underwear then my instruments were safe, but I still needed to compile my notes to bring back to Capsule. Hopefully he would be done by then.


A/N: Thanks for the comments! I managed a birthday release for at least one of my works, so I'm pretty pleased with myself. Have a great day everyone, and don't forget to drop me a line saying you liked it, please!