A/N: Hey! Here is chapter two! Totally random once again. I wrote this last night, at 1:00 in the morning. So it's weird. But who cares? Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA…yet.

Deep in the heart of Amestris is a place called Central. A military controlled area, and inside this place there is a Colonel. Not just any Colonel, the Flame Alchemist. A great man, sexy, intelligent, and just amazingly awesome. Many respect him, some even fear him. Five people stand behind him, helping him get even awesomer. Or so he thought.

Jean Havoc, a cigarette smoker who can't keep a girl for more than a day, if he can even get her in the first place. Who has some sort of flower thing on his head, a different color than the rest of his hair…quite possibly dyed?

Kain Fuery, puppy-loving, well any animal in general, technical geek who looks like he's 11, not 20 something.

Veto Falman, a walking dictionary who has can't-open-my-eyes-lexia. A serious case, in which the victim squints and looks like he can't open his eyes.

Heymens Breda, an easily scared of small animal-like dogs, fat man. A fat Pansy, shall we say.

Last but certainly not least. Riza Hawkeye. A gun-loving harpy, who never smiles, no fun-loner.

But they all work against him. With the enemy. The Furher you say? No. Much, much worse. Paperwork. Every morning, they concoct an evil plan and bring 'it' to his desk, to torment him. Lying on his desk, waiting to attack. If there was any way he could avoid it he would, alas, all of Amestris is counting on him.

But his valiant efforts go unnoticed, even insulted by some. Mainly those who 'help' him. They don't understand the difficulty, how the small print could blind you, the long pages could bore you to death, and all that writing! Really he should be rewarded!


At that moment, a dark shadow loomed over Roy, and he looked up in fear hoping it wasn't-

"Sir, what are you doing? You should be working on your paperwork." Riza asked, picking up the paper he had been writing on. Shit.

"Uh, I was, umm…can you give that back? It has…uh important…stuff on it." Roy stuttered. He edged towards the door when she didn't reply, instead reading his random thoughts that he, (now that he realized it was stupid) wrote down.

"Enemy. Paperwork. Valiant efforts. No fun, loner. Is that what you think? That I can't have any fun?" Riza said in an eerily calm voice.

"He…he…I-I didn't mean it…I think you can have fun…" Roy stammered, her gun was out, positioned at his 'happy place'.

"Oh I can. And I'm about to show you just how much fun I can have." Riza shouted, and she lunged at him with her gun. He yelped and ran for his life. And thus the chase began. Amestris' noble hero? Or not.

You know, you'd think Roy would be smarter than that. Hehe. Hope you laughed! Review please!