HELLO! Okay it's a little shorter, but I wanted to establish what Ulquiorra's been going through.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Bleach...sadly.
SECOND DISCLAIMER: the beginning of this story was inspired by Blumberberry's Pain and Pleasure.
Still in considerable pain, I had flown as fast as I could away from her. The female with long fiery hair and kind grey eyes. The human with the absolutely intoxicating soul. She who I had unintentionally saved while hunting a meal. The female who, after a few moments of utter bliss by just being in close proximity to her, had caused me more pain than I had ever felt in in my two thousand years in the core of my hollow. It screamed and burned, like her very presence was flaying me from the inside out. I wasn't exactly sure how I'd felt it when there wasn't anything there in the first place, but I had nonetheless.
It was no use. I could not rid the thoughts of her from my head. I turned around, careening sharply to the right, and flew above where I had last left her.
She had gathered up her bags with what I had assumed were her purchases, and had walked very slowly out of the alley. She was obviously shaken from our...encounter.
I followed her all the way to an apartment complex in a moderately well off section of Karakura. I watched from the skies as she entered the building and climbed the stairs to her fourth floor apartment. I flew around to the side that her windows faced out towards.
I had never come across a soul such as this, causing both pleasure and pain in equal measure. I had eaten souls, the darkest I could locate, increasing my own strength with every ounce of blackened soul I consumed. Not once had I ever wanted to consume the light ones. They were delicious, yes, but every module of light would weaken the darkness inside me. It was better to eat the cold, burnt, black ones and increase my strength so that I could survive than to eat lavishly and weaken myself.
I suppose it was more of a habit now that I had escaped the clutches of Hell. When I had 'lived' there, I had only been allowed a day to gather and devour all the souls I could before I was ordered back to await my turn again. I had to eat as much as possible during those days. If I did not become strong quickly, then I would be eaten by another demon stronger than myself. Survival of the fittest as the humans might say.
To become stronger was the fundamental reason demons consumed the dark souls. I had so much more time than all of the other demons to gather my strength since I had escaped. I had found a loophole in my Hollow Oath, and had left at the first chance I got. It is unlikely that any more than a few had noticed my absence. It was no use keeping attendance when every demon was controlled through the fear of pain that violating the Hollow Oath would cause.
But the fact remained that I was drawn to something that would weaken me. Why?
I landed on the sidewalk, searching for something that would give me a better view of her. I spotted an electrical pole close to one of her windows. I used the inexhaustible strength of my wings to leap up to the top and perched myself on it, digging the claws lining my feet into the wood.
She put away her purchases and changed her clothes. She slipped into bed not long after that. I remained there for a few hours, puzzling over her. When I had come within close proximity to her, I had felt complete bliss. It was a fluttering, warm, bright sensation coursing through my entire being. But then it had reached my hollow and that's when the pain erupted. What was confusing was that this was not what light souls do. They leave you with a good feeling, warm and tasty, but they do not hurt after a few seconds. I had never heard of a soul causing pain before.
It simply wasn't something a normal soul was capable of.
At once, I realized what I had discovered unknowingly. She was the pure soul. The pure soul that would be in charge of Heaven after she died and the previous one went into retirement. They were not perfect by any means, but they were well intentioned and good natured until the day they died. They were the kindness in the human spirit. Because they were so important, they had evolved to have a sort of defense mechanism. Whenever they contacted a demon soul, they would overwhelm it with pleasure, and make their escape while the demon was frozen, lost in bliss.
The pain was not actually pain. It was the agony of going from the absolute ecstasy of being in their presence back into the pain and torture that a demon shouldered every day of their existence without realizing it because they were so used to it.
And since I had spent the last four hundred years in the world of the living eating dark souls, my pain carried the weight of roughly the equivalent of half the demons in Hell. My strength was my weakness in this case. How ironic. I had done nothing but build what I had believed to be strength in the long years of my time in the world of the living and now that strength was being turned against me by a mere mortal girl who was helpless against trash.
And yet, for some inexplicable reason, I still wanted to be closer to her, to feel that bliss. It was worth it.
I had lost track of time. The sun was peeking over the horizon. I fled into an abandoned building that was scheduled for demolition. It would have to do for the day. I curled into the least crumbled rock-covered corner and, despite how cramped it was for my rather substantial wings, fell into much needed slumber.
