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"Ugh." Ezio entered Leonardo's workshop.
"What now?" Leonardo looked up from a sketch.
"I'll tell you what now." Jacqueline stormed in after Ezio. The frills of her dress were black and smoking slightly. "This…this…animal destroyed my shop and brought guards in. I lost everything!"
"For the love of god, woman, they were only dried plants." Ezio slumped on Leonardo's couch and started picking on a shallow gash on his forearm.
"Do you have any idea how much it cost me to get my hands on those dried plants?" she hissed at him. "The same dried plants that I used to cure you?" she poked his side, where said healed wound used to be.
"I said I was sorry." Ezio slapped her poking finger away.
"Sorry? Sorry?" Jacqueline took a deep breath and started yelling in French. Even if Ezio could speak French, he doubted he would understand her talking that fast. On impulse, he started shouting back in Italian.
"That's enough!" Leonardo yelled. He had been trying to continue sketching, but the yelling had snapped his last nerve. "Ezio, apologize."
Ezio breathed out and crossed his arms.
"Apologize to her." Leonardo repeated slowly, pointing his feather threateningly at Ezio.
"'m sorry…" Ezio mumbled.
"Accept it." He turned his demon feather of doom to Jacqueline.
"Fine." She pursed her lips and crossed her arms, glaring at Ezio.
"Now go play nicely." Leonardo tried to hide his grin.
"Go where, Leo?" Jacqueline sat next to Ezio on the couch.
"You could stay with Paola…" Ezio thought out loud.
Jacqueline turned her whole torso in order to look at him.
"Are you really as stupid as you look, or do you just train people to believe that? Because, I think it's working very well…"
"I'll show you stupid, you…" Ezio stood up.
"You don't have to show me, it's evident!" Jacqueline also stood up. Although her height was nothing compared to the assassin's, Leonardo knew not to anger her. He cautiously stepped back from the two.
"What did you say?" Ezio clenched his fists.
"Shall I spare your feelings or should I put it bluntly?" Jacqueline asked in mock concern. "Ah, to hell with your feelings, your stupidity doesn't exactly come and hit me in the face screaming, it's just noticeable enough to make me want to stick a blade through my forehead."
"I could help you with that." There was a shlink as he activated the hidden blade.
"Oh, I don't know, do you have enough braincells to breathe and move at the same time?" A huge chunk of his pride died screaming in agony at that moment.
"You're such a graceful and charming woman with fantastic skills of etiquette…"
"Unlike some people…"
"ENOUGH!" Leonardo threw a bucket of water at them. "This is my house, and I will not have you two bickering back and forth like two children! I want you to promise me neither of you will argue while I am within earshot!" Leonardo threw the bucket on the floor.
Ezio really felt sorry for his friend having to put up with everything he did, so he decided to agree.
"Cross my heart and hope to die…" he sighed.
"Don't hope too hard…" Jacqueline mumbled, crossing her arms.
Ezio was out of words, so he looked pleadingly at Leonardo and gestured to her.
"Jacque…" Leonardo pinched his nose.
"Alright, alright…" she rolled her eyes. "Fine."
"Thank you." The artist sighed. "You may take the spare room. There are some dresses there."
Jacque went up the steps, sticking her tongue out at Ezio on the way.
"Seriously, how old is that woman?" he was resisting the urge to stab something.
"Ezio, I want you to wait until she comes down, ask her what she needs most, and get it for her. I know she wasn't very polite right now, but she just lost everything."
"I know what she needs." Ezio looked out the window at the afternoon sun. "She needs a bullet in the head, that's what." He fingered his arma del fuego.
Leonardo sighed and went back to sketching.
"Can you deliver a message for me?" Jacqueline had come down shortly before sunset and was holding a piece of folded paper.
"Why would I do anything for you?" Ezio was lying on the couch, craning his head back to look at Jacqueline upside-down.
"Because I'm sure that your head on a pike would deliver the message just as well." She said with a serious expression.
"You know, if you acted more like a lady, maybe people would think you were one, instead of the monster you are."
That was the last straw for Jacqueline.
"I AM A LADY, YOU ODIOUS, GLUTTONOUS, PUTRID FREAK OF NATURE!" she yelled at him.
"I AM NOT GLUTTONOUS!" Ezio stood up and towered over her.
"YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET ON A DIET, YOUR FAT IS REACHING YOUR BRAIN ALREADY!"
"I WILL RIP OUT YOUR VOCAL CHORDS AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM!" Ezio made to hold her neck. She slapped his hand away.
"Why do I even try to talk to you?" she grabbed fistfuls of her hair.
"Um…" Leonardo was at the door to the kitchen.
"What?" they rounded on him.
"Dinner…is…ready…" he pointed behind him to the kitchen. Ezio and Jacqueline stormed towards Leonardo, who scrambled out of the way and sat at the farthest end of the table. He watched as they tried to walk through the door at the same time and got stuck in the doorframe.
"I told you you were fat!" Jacqueline elbowed him in the gut and stepped forward, sitting next to Leonardo. Ezio growled and sat on the other side of the artist. She wasn't nearly done. "Or maybe it's your ego that takes up so much space."
"Does anyone want rice?" Leonardo asked loudly before Ezio could answer.
They served themselves, and ate in silence. Leonardo tried to make conversation, but he only got short answers. When they finished, Jacqueline helped him do the dishes. After the last plate was in its cupboard, they went to the living room for a nightcap before bed.
Ezio and Leonardo talked about Leonardo's new invention, their low voices lulling Jacqueline to sleep. After much convincing, Leonardo managed to make Ezio carry her to her room.
"I still don't like her." He mumbled as he stood up. Leonardo raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I hate her to the point that I'm planning her murder and have the cover story planned out." He kneeled in front of the sofa she was half lying, half sitting in and picked her up bridal-style.
"You know that love and hate are very similar emotions, don't you?" Leonardo sipped his glass.
"Please." Ezio shifted her in his arms. "I can get any woman I want, why would I choose…her?" he rolled his eyes.
Leonardo hummed and finished his drink. Ezio ignored him and went up the stairs. He pushed the door to her room open with his foot and walked over to her bed. Laying her down, he straightened up and sighed.
"Hmm…" she stirred in her sleep.
"Hmm…" Ezio mimicked.
"Fuckin' fat hummingbird…" she slurred.
Ezio's jaw fell. Even in her sleep she called him fat! He pulled his shirt from his pants and held it to his chest. Looking down he saw nothing but his toned dark abs.
"What are you doing?" Leonardo was standing at the door. Ezio turned to him, still holding his shirt up.
"She called me fat. In her sleep." He flexed his stomach muscles. "I'm not fat!"
"What the hell are you doing?" Jacqueline had woken up and was staring at Ezio, frowning in confusion. He quickly dropped his shirt.
"I…" Ezio clenched his fists and lifted his shirt again. "I'M NOT FAT!"
"Oh, my eyes." She dramatically covered her face. "You offend my eyes. They're screaming. The burn! The burn! Oh, you're like acid on my vision."
Ezio replied with something mixed between a growl and a frustrated wail and stormed out of the room.
"What was that noise he made? It sounded like some strange, wounded, demented animal." She smiled at Leonardo. "It suits him!"
"Good night Jacque." Leonardo smirked at her.
"Fais des beaux rêves, Leo."
The next morning, Ezio awoke with the feeling that he shouldn't leave bed. He ignored his feelings and dressed. Thinking about what he should eat for breakfast, he went down to the kitchen and scowled.
"You were not the first person I wanted to see this morning." He passed Jacqueline who was chewing some bread and writing a list while leaning her hip on the counter. He opened a cupboard and made himself a sandwich with cheese and butter.
"Likewise." She mumbled, not looking up from her piece of paper.
"Where's Leonardo?" he took a bite of his meal.
"Went off to buy supplies." She finished her own sandwich and drank something from a mug. Ezio caught a whiff of coffee… 'heavenly' he thought.
"Did you make more?" he asked, eying the mug in her hand. She nodded and pointed to a teapot on the other end of the counter.
"Why is it in a teapot?" he frowned, helping himself to some. She looked up from the list and glared at him. She looked like she wanted to say something, but shook her head and went back to writing.
"You're polite today." He grinned and sat on one of the chairs by the table.
"Leonardo said we shouldn't argue." She drank some more. "Don't tempt me."
"Oh, so I tempt you?"
"I think my comment last night was enough to clarify that question, but you're obviously too dense to grasp the concept." She put her mug in the sink, put her list in her pocket and left the kitchen.
"Where are you going?" he called after her, finishing his own coffee and putting it in the sink next to her mug.
"Far, far away from you, if I can help it." She said from the living room.
He sighed and went after her.
"You're going alone?" he crossed his arms and leaned his shoulder on the door, preventing her from leaving.
"I pretended to." She draped a shawl over her shoulders.
"I can't let you go alone." He frowned. "Not that I care about you, but Leonardo would have my head…"
"Right then." She smiled. "Let's go before my brain starts oozing out my ears from looking too much at you."
Yeah… He should have stayed in bed.
They walked in the market, Jacqueline doing her best to ignore Ezio trailing after her. She was halfway through her list, and every time she bought something, she would tell the merchants she was now working in Leonardo's workshop. They all knew her well, her medicines were cheaper than those the healers sold, and had a better and faster effect. They assured her they would spread the message.
"Cazzo." Ezio cursed under his breath. Jacqueline turned to him, but he was looking over her head at something else.
"There he is! Get him!" she turned to see some guards running towards them. When she turned back to Ezio, she only saw his back disappearing in the distance. She smiled cheerfully and waved at his back.
"Were you with him, signorina?" one of the guards had seen her wave and stopped to ask her suspiciously.
"I was, but I'm glad he's off my back." She said, truthfully.
"If he bothers you again, call on one of the guards." He said and sprinted off after his colleagues.
"I thought you were living in the same house." Anna, a merchant girl who Jacqueline had been friends for quite a while, said.
"I am." Jacqueline turned to her and smiled. "Doesn't mean I like him."
"Love and hate are very similar emotions, Jacque." Anna smirked. Jacqueline scoffed and paid her friend.
"I'll see you around." She waved and continued on her shopping list.
After a while, the same guards almost trampled her in their haste. She frowned at them and noticed they were looking up. She followed their gaze and saw a familiar white-clad figure sprinting through the rooftops.
"Why is he doing that?"
Jacqueline looked at the old woman who had talked and smiled.
"He's either very retarded, or very suicidal." She said. The old woman scoffed at her and went on her way. Jacque followed the guards at a brisk pace. Ezio might not be her favorite person in the world, but she was still worried about him.
She entered an alley she thought she saw him disappear in and looked around. There he was, sprawled on the ground. It looked like he fell.
"Are you alright?" she stepped into his range of sight and looked down at him. He groggily opened his eyes. "I'm not going for help, I'm just curious…"
He groaned.
Jacqueline snapped her head up when she heard shouting.
"I saw him fall around here!" the guards were approaching. She hastily helped Ezio drag himself behind some crates and started running towards the guards. When she saw them, she plastered what she hoped was a fearful expression.
"Please!" she whined, trying to sound pathetic. "The assassin! He went that way!" she pointed towards another alley, leading to the opposite direction of where Ezio was. The guards dashed away.
She smirked and went back to the crates.
"I just saved your sorry ass." She sang.
"Help me up." He growled.
"Say the magic word…" she wagged her finger in his face.
"Oh, for the love of…" he huffed. "please." He forced out.
"You didn't quite mean that." She touched her chin.
"Dammit, woman, help me up!" he yelled.
"Over here!" they heard the guards shout.
"That was not the most clever thing you did." Jacque scowled and pulled him up by the wrist. "Can you run?" he shook his head.
"I think I hurt my ankle." He looked around. "I have an idea." He pulled her to a shadowed doorway and turned her so her back was to the wall. He limped forward until he was almost sandwiching her between his body and the stone and lowered his head.
"What are you doing?" she hissed and put her hands on his chest and tried to push him away, but he leaned his weight forward. Lowering his head even more, he hovered his face inches from hers.
"Play along." He whispered.
"What?" she squeezed herself against the wall to put more distance between them, but he raised an arm and leaned on the wall, successfully hiding their faces.
"Oh, we're terribly sorry, we won't interrupt anything." The guards had reached them. Ezio hummed and grinned at Jacqueline. They probably thought they were kissing. A moment later they were gone and Ezio straightened up again, a wolfish grin on his face.
Jacqueline was as red as the pretty frills on his cape.
"Did you enjoy that?" he mocked. She scowled at him and stepped on his hurt foot.
A string of profanities left Ezio's mouth.
"I enjoyed that." Jacqueline picked her basket from the floor and started walking back to Leonardo's house, Ezio limping after her.
"I leave the house for two hours, and you manage to break his foot!" Leonardo was shouting at Jacqueline.
"I didn't break anything!" she shouted back, wagging a wad of cotton in his face. "He sprained his ankle when he fell from the roof." She went back to dabbing a strong smelling liquid she had made when they came back. "And I saved his sorry ass from getting caught, but he blew his cover by screaming like a girl." She started wrapping his ankle tightly with gauze.
"I did not screa—holy mother of god…" he pressed a couch cushion to his face.
"Wuss…" Jacqueline finished and stood up.
"Yeah, but you could have refrained from stepping on it." Ezio panted.
"Why did you step on his foot?" Leonardo dared to ask. Jacqueline explained why and left to make more salves and medicine with her newly-bought wares.
Leonardo smirked at Ezio.
"Not. A. Word." The assassin growled at the artist, who raised his hands in defense and chuckled.
"Where do you think you're going?" Jacqueline asked Ezio for the fifth time that day.
Ezio had been sitting around resting his foot for the last week, watching people come and go, either to buy paintings or medicine.
"I'm bored!" he scowled as Jacqueline pushed him back on the couch.
"Read a book." She handed him one from the shelf next to the door.
Ezio threw his head back and exaled.
"A few more days, Ezio and you'll be rid of me." She said, making him notice how much of a relief it would also be to her.
He watched as she went back to the kitchen. He grunted and followed her, hopping on his good foot.
"What did I just tell you?" she threw her hands up.
"Calm down woman, I'll sit." He said and plopped on one of the chairs, resting his bandaged foot on another one. He looked around the kitchen. Just as Leonardo had transformed his living room in his workshop, she had done the same to the kitchen. There was constantly something boiling, or drying in the patch of sun that shone through the window on the table. The cupboards were full of small jars labeled with names Ezio didn't recognize. She sold them and many other things, like bath salts, and teas, and whatnot. Leonardo refused, but she gave him a good percentage of what she earned per week (which Ezio found out was more than Leonardo made in a month) for letting her stay. They had agreed that she could live in the room she was sleeping in and use the kitchen for her work.
Ezio watched her bustle around the kitchen, doing this and that, and rushing to the door to answer it for a customer. He watched the old man thank her over and over again, and tell her how much stronger he felt, and blahblahblah…
When he left, Jacqueline sat on a chair and sighed. She had poured herself a glass of water and was sipping it, inspecting Ezio's wrapped foot.
"I think you work too hard." He told her.
"I did not ask for the mummy's opinion." She retorted. "Go curse something."
He rolled his eyes. Bickering had become a daily occupation for them, even Leonardo occasionally asked if something was wrong if they were quiet around each other.
"Tomorrow's Leonardo's birthday." He said.
"I know." Jacqueline nodded. "I was thinking of baking a cake."
"He does fancy chocolate." Ezio chuckled.
"Any idea of what to give him?"
"I thought about the usual. Paints, new brushes…" Ezio shrugged.
"I need to go to the market anyway, I'll look for something." Jacqueline stood up.
"Can't I go?" Ezio whined. "You two always leave me here alone."
She smirked and put a bottle of his daily medicine on the table with a spoon next to it.
"I bet that if you tried you could make this taste better." Ezio uncorked the bottle.
"Of course I could." She draped her shawl on her shoulders. "I just like to make you suffer." She smiled at him and waved goodbye.
"Don't I know it…" he waved back.
Leonardo woke to the heavenly smell of something baking. He hastily dressed and went downstairs. He nearly tripped on Ezio's outstretched leg.
"Happy birthday…" he groaned.
"Cake!" he yelled, looking at the chocolate mountain on the table.
"Happy birthday, Leo…" Jacqueline watched as Leonardo mumbled a thank you with his mouth stuffed with chocolate cake. After breakfast, Ezio handed him his present (which Jacqueline so nicely reminded him he still owed her money for having bought it) and they spent the whole day playing cards and board games, and doing everything Leonardo wanted to do. They had a big dinner, where Jacqueline made stuffed chicken and Leonardo opened a bottle of wine he brought up from the basement. They went outside and watched the sunset.
"Thank you so much for today." Leonardo embraced Jacqueline and Ezio forming a group hug (much to their dislike).
"Anything for you, Leo." Jacqueline smiled at him.
"Good night, my friend." Ezio clapped him on the back and watched him enter his house. "This was a good day." He turned back to the last rays of sunshine and smiled.
"He's such a wonderful person." Jacqueline agreed. "Come on." She turned. "You have to sit."
He groaned and hopped inside. He sat on his newly proclaimed throne in the kitchen and watched Jacqueline quickly clean all the dishes. She set them aside so that they would be dry in the morning and held her hand out to Ezio. He always needed help to go up and down the stairs on one foot, much to Jacqueline's joy.
"I'm so glad I can entertain you." Ezio panted as they reached the last step.
"I look forward to the next time you hurt your foot." Jacqueline tried to hold back her laughter and opened the door to his room.
"If I do, it will be because I kicked your thick skull." He scowled at the pain the effort of climbing brought him.
"Yes, yes…" she bent down and let Ezio sit on his bed, taking his arm off her shoulders. "Do you want something to ease the pain?" she asked.
"You read my mind…"
"How can you live in this pigsty?" she asked when she came back from fetching a bottle of medicine downstairs.
"You're not my mother." He opened his mouth to take the medicine she had poured on a spoon.
"Thank whatever enlightened entity that chose it to be that way…" she put the bottle on the bedside table. When she turned back to him, her foot caught in one of the many articles of clothing on the floor and she tripped.
And the aforementioned enlightened entity chose her to fall on Ezio.
"I told you to clean up your room, look at what y—" she stopped yelling when she opened her eyes and looked down at Ezio. He was gripping her arms in an attempt to steady her when she fell, but the surprise had knocked him back too. She steadied herself with one hand next to his head and the other on his chest. He licked his lips nervously and noticed Jacqueline doing the same. "Um…"
"Shh…" he brought her down closer to him.
"Ezio, wha—"
"Play along." He rephrased from that day one week ago and grazed his lips on hers. When she gasped, he used that opportunity to kiss her. The kiss lasted barely two full seconds, when she pinched his neck and scrambled upright. Without another word, she left his room and entered hers across the hall. He heard the lock click.
Sighing, he let his head fall back on his pillow.
"What have I done?" he whispered to the dark ceiling.
I just read the STM blog, and I rephrase:
You want an ending? How's this for a fucking ending…Left you hanging, didn't it?
LOL, I love that blog. Btw, 'Fuckin' fat hummingbird' and 'You offend my eyes. They're screaming. The burn! The burn! Oh, you're like acid on my vision.' Is also from there.
I am now at a loss of what to do with this story. So please review and tell me what you would think is best for the next chapters. Oh, and the rating might go um if SOMEONE coughSarahcough convinces me to write what she wants. But I'll wait for reviews first.
