Chapter 2

"Rain! Rain, it's time to wake up. It's almost lunchtime, Rain."

This is what I wake up to every Saturday morning. I turn my head looking at the little girl who is my Saturday morning alarm clock and smile. Her name is Caitlyn and even though she's my step-sister she's the little sister I always wanted.

When I was eleven my mother died. She had a car accident. And died on impact. I loved my mother. More than anyone. She was my favorite person in the world. I remember everything about her. A few things are fuzzy like how she smelled and how she smiled but it's all there somewhere.

My father really loved my mother. You could tell even from a six-year-old point of view they were going to be together forever. Till death do you part. And it happened after fifteen years of marriage.

Jess-ee-cah explained to me why a lot of girls hate me here. She says it's because I'm "gorgeous." But I look like my mother. And as I got older I looked like her more and more. I've always been skinny. But I stretched out as I grew. I'm not that tall but I'm so thin. I have her long dark hair and her eyes. She lived on through me. And because my father loved my mother so much, he stayed out of my life a lot when she died. I reminded him of her too much.

He married Susan Fitzgerald a year ago. I call her Queenie, but she used to hate me. But now I know what it is like to have a real family. They aren't my step-mother, step-sisters, and step-brothers. They're just my normal family now. She has four kids. And is still younger than my father. Jesse, Anna, Caitlyn and Jake are all products of a teenage pregnancy, a young marriage, a divorce, and a one-night-stand. And there's one on the way.

I was going through a lot of shit when my dad started seeing Queenie and that didn't help with anything. He moved on from my mother's death before I did. When we moved to Kerrington I finally moved on myself. Accepting everything and letting go.

I'm more than thankful for my Saturday Morning alarm clock. She's one of the reason I decided to move on from everything and start over.

Every Saturday Morning starts the same. Queenie sends Caitlyn to wake me up. Luckily this morning my forehead isn't pounding and I can think straight. I take a shower and come downstairs. Queenie almost out the door. She says to call her if I need anything.

Now my babysitting technique isn't perfect. Jesse's in college and is wicked smart. He taught me the skeleton of my current babysitting techniques. But his were to sit the kids and let them watch educational crap while you study. I don't study when I baby-sit. I watch the new kid's programs with the two little ones; Caitlyn who is six years old, and Jake who is four.

Caitlyn was born around her parent's divorce, which is sad because she soaks up any attention she can get. She's not spoiled. She just likes getting attention every now and then. Because she was born in such a rotten time and then when Jake happened, she barely got any attention. She gets a lot from me.

Jake sits there silently. Coloring. And watching the TV. Never saying much to me. A little like Anna but she acknowledges me a lot more. She's thirteen and quiet. She's really smart too. Her grades always better than mine. And every once in a while she's normal. She can sit there and be a normal kid, I think it's hard for all of them because they've had a rough start when it comes to everything.

I had a normal childhood. I was happy and I don't have any bad memories. When my mother died everything sort of fell apart. And it did for the following years. I didn't understand what happened or why she was taken from me, but when I met Jayme I sort of figured out why.


"Rainie!" I look away from the television screen. Caitlyn holding up a picture of our family. It all goes by height which is affected by age. I smile taking it from her to look at it more. She comes over and looks at it upside down. "See that's Daddy, Mommy, Jess, you, Ann, me and Jakey."

I smile at her. "This is really good!" I say. She gets all happy. Like a little girl. She has little blonde curls surrounding her face. She looks a lot younger than she is. The thing I love the most about her is her laugh. She still has that little girl laugh.

"You can have it," She says grinning. Then she turns back to the coffee table taking another piece of construction paper and starting a new drawing.

I suddenly see Jake pick up his picture. Looking at me and then at the picture. I smile holding my hand out. "Can I see yours Jake?"

He is hesitant. But he slowly gets up and hands it to me. It's really good. Some little kids draw blobs at his age or stick figures. He drew a car. My car actually- I got it from my uncle in Ohio. I smile at it. "Whose car is this?" I ask him smiling at him. He doesn't say anything. He sort of stares. "Is it mine?" He smiles a little.

Out of all the siblings I have now Jake makes me feel like a step-sister the most. I don't resent him at all. I love him as much as I love Caitlyn or Anna. But I wish he would speak. One year in this house almost and I've barely heard him say much of anything.

I look back at the picture smiling. "Can I have this too Jake?" I ask. "Unless you want to give it to Mommy."

He shrugs one shoulder and goes back sitting back on the floor. He gets a new piece of paper too and starts drawing. I look back at the car. My car. This is my Saturday mornings. I don't think about headaches or boys or beer. I think about my little brother and sister.

When Jake is napping. And Caitlyn is trying not to I got a text message. It's almost like I live a double life. I don't remember anything from the night before when I'm watching the little kids. The boys I may have kissed or the phone numbers I may have gotten. They all wash away and I'm just the big sister I always wanted to be when I was an only child.

But I got two text messages. One I didn't noticed and a new one from Paul. I open the first one- it's from Jessicah. Kerrington Party tonight, you're going XD

I smile texting her back. I look over at Caitlyn. The boring movie I put on purposely worked and she's asleep. Then I open the text message from Paul- it's a simple one. Just a hello and a what's up. I reply to it too.

Not many boys text me when I tell them they can. I'm not sure why. But whatever. If I ask them to text me they should know I actually mean it. Jess-ee-cah doesn't care how many boys' phone numbers I have and I don't care how many boys she hooked up with.

I look back over at Caitlyn. I really do live a double life.


We pull into the party. "You're driving tonight," I say getting out.

"Wait, what?" She gets out too. "You didn't even drive last night."

"Yeah, but the rule is we take turns on whose night it is to drive or not. Tonight's yours." I say smiling. We start walking up to the party. She sighs heavily. I open my phone. '1 New Message'- I've been texting Paul since this afternoon.

"God who are you texting?" Jess-ee-cah groans.

"Nobody..." I sent the message right before she lunged. Sniping my phone and checking my outbox.

She nudged me grinning. "Who is this Paul?" She said.

"Give me my phone," I hold my hand out. She dangles it away from me for a few seconds then gives it to me with no fight whatsoever. I take it putting it into my back pocket.

"So, who is he?" She asked. She perked up a little more. "Rainie, do you happen to like..." She gasped sarcastically. "A boy?"

I laughed. "No." I said. "I met him last night and we're just talking about music." We really were. We were talking about Silversun Pickups which he told me to listen to. And I did. I really like them.

She nudged me again. "Oo-oh." She said in a flirty voice. "You said you didn't want a boy."

I rolled my eyes smiling. "I'm staying single, Jess." My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out reading the new message from Paul. I started answering. We were at the front foor of the house.

"Sure, Rain." She said. "Whatever you say."

I laughed pushing my bangs out of my eyes. "I'm really staying single for now." I said. The door opened and this kid- of course smiles and says hello to Jess-ee-cah and me checking both of us out.

"Sure... whatever. I never doubted you." She was doing this to annoy me and it was working. We both went off into different directions. Jessicah was meeting this kid and Bennett was playing. We were late- of course. These hosues are getting hearder and harder to find. And the sudden rush of people coming upstairs was a sign that Bennett wasn't playing anymore. I had missed him.

He was standing there in the basement. He's so tall and standing there drinking bottled water and laughing. He never drinks much anyway. I walk over to say hello. He's talking ot this really cute short boy. Not the Brent or the Paul kind of cute. He was sort of hot.

I smiled. "Bennett!" I called over the crowd.

He picked me out of the crowd smiling back. "Hey Rainie!" He said. I slipped by two more people and made it over to him finally. "What's up?"

My cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I fought the urge to open it. I pushed my bangs out of my eyes. "Nothing, sorry I missed you play."

"It's cool," Bennett said. "You know Sean, right?"

That was his name. I met him before I think. An awkward quick introduction. I looked at him. "Hi, I'm Rainie." I said. "I think we've met before."

He smiles. "Yeah," He said. He starts thinking of when wo would have possibly met. He snaps. "Saves The Day!"

"Oh yeah!" I remember. I had been with Bennett and his friend Jonah who is freaking insane and I had been sitting up front and Sean had been wasted in the backseat with Jonah. I don't remember that night much, I got a little drunk myself. "It's nice to see you again."

"You too." He had a really nice smile. With white teeth.

Bennett was suddenly looking past us. "Hey... uh," He said looking in between both of us. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Yeah, cool." He said.

Then Bennett was gone. I looked back at Sean. He was looking at me too. He had really nice hazel eyes too. I smiled a little at him. I wanted to talk to him more. "Hey," He read my mind. "Do you want me to get you a drink or something?"

I smiled. "Sure,"

A kid popped up at the front of the stairs. "Keg's empty!" He yelled down. Everyone groaned a little.

Sean and I both looked at each other. "Want to improvise?" He asked.

"Sure,"


A bottle of Smirnoff later we were really giggly. And I felt warm. His hands were so warm on my skin. They felt nice. My phone buzzed again in my pocket. I opened it. I hadn't gotten a text from Paul in a little while. I opened it and read it. "Aww," I said accidentally out-loud.

"What?" Sean asked. He leaned forward and I leaned back laughing. "Come-on, who-is-that?" It's funny how when you get drunk with someone you always understand exactly what the other person is saying even if it is a slurred mess of gibberish. If you get drunk together, there's no need in the world to hear what they say you just understand,

I giggled. "A boy." I said. Shutting my phone.

"A Boy!" He said loudly.

I giggled. "A friend." I said.

"A Boyfriend!"

I giggled again. "No," I said. "Just a friend."

He smiled a little wider. "Am I just a friend?" He asked.

I planted my hand on his knee. "No," I said squeezing his knee-cap. I started leaning back but he smiled a little softer. And even when we were drunk we just looked at each other. I blinked. My eyes feeling like they were made of rubber. I laughed quietly looking down a little. Then back at him.

And out of nowhere, he leaned in and kissed me.

At first he just kissed me. I closed my eyes and started kissing him back. His hand moved to the side of my neck and we kept kissing. It wasn't weird. People were hooking up all around us. I'm not sure if I've done this in a while. Kenny was my last drunken hook-up.

But Sean was a good kisser even when we were drunk. My cell phone dropped behind me. And I felt it against my back. I forgot about it. Sean was cute. And now a good kisser.


I heard Jess-ee-cah call my name. I sat up. Sean trying ot pull me back down. I giggled getting off of him. I didn't know how we ended up there. "I have to go." I said laughing and slurring.

"No." He said getting up with me. He kissed me again.

I felt Jess-ee-cah grip my arm gently. "Come, on Rain." She said. "Say goodbye."

I giggled. "Okay, Jess-ee-cah." I said messily. I'm always messy when I'm a little drunk. "Bye Sean."

"I'll miss you!" He slurred.

Jess-ee-cah held my arm like a little kid. And swiped something off of the couch. Then she lead me upstairs. Sean and I shouted gibberish to each other. I didn't even know what I was saying. I was giggling and stumbling. But Jess-ee-cah is always good about this. She got me in the car and buckled me up.

"Jess-ee-cah!" I said loudly. "Jess-ee-cah! I don't have my phone! What if Paul texts me?"

She waved my phone in front of me when she slipped into the driver's side. "I got it right here. Don't worry."

About an hour later I was at her house. My mouth tasted nasty from puking and I had spent about five minutes brushing my teeth and downed a few Aspirin. I was sleeping over her house tonight.

She smiled up at me. "Hey Rain." She said. "How you feeling, hun?"

I groaned falling onto my sleeping bag burying my face into the pillow I always use when I sleep over. "How drunk was I?" I asked.

"You started calling me Jess-ee-cah again." She said. She doesn't get it, but I've gotten into the habit of calling her that now. When I'm drunk I have a filter in my head or something. It lets some things slip through but other things now. Jessicah's secret pet-name for example. My head hurts too much to explain. As always.

"Oof." I moaned.

"Oof." She said. "Want some coffee?"

I lift my head up. My brains feel turned to lead. I pull myself up and she has a to-go cup waiting for me. Microwave heated probably. I sip it. It is but it feels good. My head ache fades after a few sips a tiny bit.

"So," I notice she's still looking at my phone. "This Paul kid," She said. "Is he cute?"

I shrug. "I don't know." I say.

"You were flirting with him for about five hours." She said. "Must be." I sip again. I open my mouth to say I wasn't flirting with him. "But that kid oyu hooked up with was hot. You should date him, what was his name?"

"Sean..." I said. I looked at her squinting because my eyes hurt. "I wasn't flirting with Paul."

Her eyebrows furrow. "You don't have Sean's phone number?" She asked.

I shook my head.

"Classy," She laughs a little. "At least I go for their numbers before we hook up. Did you and Paul hook up?"

"No." I said defensively.

She looks at me kind of strange but my head hurts. Throbbing a little less. "Then why do you have his number?" She asked.

I sip again. "You don't have to hook up with a boy to have his phone number." I said. "You're a slut so you have to, but I was just talking to him about music. That's it."

"You texted him when you were drunk too." She announced.

"What?" I tore the phone from her hands. I looked at my outbox. There were slight typos. They got worse as the messages progressed. But they weren't that bad. I was sober enough to know that they were a little off but when I checked his messages he had worse typos. I felt better knowing he was probably drunk too. "Oh god," I said. I pointed to one. "What does this even say?"

Jessicah looked at it. "God," She took it from me. "I have no idea. This is from you?"

"No him," I said.

She laughed. "I bet he was telling you how pretty you were." She said.

I sighed crawling back over to my sleeping bag. "Shut up," I said. I slide into the sleeping bag. One that was permanently at her house along with this pillow.

"I like Sean though." She said. "Is there anyway you can get his number?"

"Mmhmm," I said.

"Go for it, babe." She said tapping my head. I groaned and she shut off the lights. "Night." I just rested my head falling asleep eventually. Not thinking about boys or all of that shit. I just slipped into thinking about anything.

Waking up, it was noon and I had a new text message in my inbox. Srry bout lst nght.

I told Paul it was alright and that I was sorry too. We both got really drunk. He doesn't remember texting me and I don't remember texting him. I suddenly remembered Sean and smiled to myself. I heard Jess-ee-cah in her bathroom brushing her teeth. I had to call Bennett and ask him for Sean's number.

The buzzing of my phone hurt my head though. I'd call him when my headache went away.